"A re you free on Friday? —Luke"

Jay spent Thursday staring at the text while he unloaded and organized the hundreds of dollars of paints that had arrived. It was less than half of what he'd originally had in his cart but still more than he could use in a year. He didn't even remember everything he'd gotten, which was why he'd spent ten minutes laughing at his overflowing drawer of blue paint, some of the colors so similar that he doubted anyone would be able to tell the difference .

He typed out a long reply about why he couldn't go out on Friday, then deleted it while he stacked canvases in order of size and material. He was conditioning an entire bucket of new brushes when he sent his first response .

"No. —Jay "

Two hours later, shuffling around the palettes of watercolors to make space for the acrylics he didn't remember ordering, he was still staring at the phone .

"Maybe. —Jay "

"Why? —Jay "

"Nevermind, I can't. —Jay "

Powering off his phone so that he wouldn't have to see any responses, he set out his new easel and started planning his next painting. He was thinking about trying more realism now that he had the tools, just to see if he could .

Intending to prep a few canvases, he lay down a base layer of blue. The new paints were smooth and rich, and he fell in love with them just mixing them on the palette. They blended like a dream, green flowing through the blue with hardly any effort. He picked up a smaller brush, lines of yellow light appearing on the canvas with the flick of his wrist, and smiled .

It wasn't until he stepped back from a clearing in the woods where a traveling circus had set up that he even realized what he'd done. Cursing, he threw his brushes into the paint thinner, tempted to paint over the whole thing. He glared at the glowing lights, the sky dark overhead. It was definitely not the bright summer day that he'd been aiming for, but even he could tell it was a good painting. The brush strokes were quick and evocative, the colors full of nostalgia, and the whole image screamed of innocence and corruption. The critics would love it .

Turning his phone back on, he wasn't surprised to see that it was after two in the morning. He sent Bonnie a quick text. There were no new messages from Luke waiting, and he double checked his settings to make sure that his replies had gone through .

At this time of night, there was no point in sending anything. Normal people were asleep. Even Bonnie was asleep. Of course, if he sent it now, Luke would just see it in the morning. Nodding to himself, Jay typed out another text .

"Sorry. Working on a new painting. —Jay "

"It's okay. —Luke "

The text appeared almost immediately, and Jay frowned. He sent a response before he could overthink it. "Can't sleep? —Jay "

"No. Snickerdoodles or double chocolate chunk? —Luke "

Jay's mouth watered, and he only debated a moment before hitting dial. "Double chocolate chunk. Is that even a question ?"

Luke laughed tiredly. "I guess not," he said, his voice echoing. The silence stretched, metal and glass clinking. "How's the painting going ?"

"Good." At a loss for anything else to say, Jay stared at the picture. "It's really good. Almost done." He smacked himself on the forehead. "I might be here late doing detail work, though. I hate to make plans and then have to cancel them ."

"That's nice of you. Liam always got lost in his painting and forgot we had plans. Just a second." A mixer whirred to life .

Jay bit his lip. He could hang up, make an excuse about not wanting to distract him from his baking. That would be the smart thing to do. The rattle of noise quieted back down. "I did that a lot, which is why I don't make any firm plans if I'm going to be painting." He mouthed a curse, holding the phone away from his ear to call himself an idiot in three languages .

"Good policy. Don't let me distract you ."

"It's okay. I'm waiting for this layer to dry. It'll be a few hours." Jay bit his tongue to keep from saying anything else. Standing awkwardly in front of the canvas, he picked at a hangnail. "Unless you'd rather I didn't bother you ?"

Luke chuckled, a hoarse, unhappy breath of sound. "I'm already up, so we might as well keep each other company ."

"Why can't you sleep?" Jay threw his hand in the air, exasperated with himself, fumbling his phone so that he missed the first part of Luke's reply .

"...driving me crazy. I feel like the world is out to get me." He sounded so lost that the joke that automatically sprang to Jay's lips died unsaid .

"I'm sorry. I know how that feels." Scanning the painting, he frowned at the odd way the shadows were settling. "Right after I left New York, I got caught in a rainstorm. When I went to a laundromat to dry my stuff out, I fell asleep, and somebody stole one of my loads of laundry. On the way back to the campground, I almost got hit by a car and twisted my ankle, and then, that night, a raccoon stole my groceries ."

Still staring at the shadows of the painting, Jay didn't realize how quiet it had gotten until Luke snorted. "Now I feel like a total jerk for whining about how bad my life is ."

"No, no. That wasn't what I meant." He picked up one of his new detail brushes and contemplated the splotchy shadows. It almost looked like he'd set the paint with the intention of adding something, but he couldn't remember what. "I just meant that sometimes everything goes wrong." He idly mixed a tiny bit of white into the dark color still smeared all over his palette. "That's not it, either," he said thoughtfully. "It's more that things don't go the way we expect. Sometimes it leads us to better things ."

"Really," Luke drawled. "And what did your terrible day lead to ?"

Stroking the brush across the canvas, Jay shivered as ghostly figures appeared out of nowhere. "That's creepy," he said, eagerly adding more paint as the characters unfolded. "I can't remember anything specific, other than to go to the grocery store again the next day. It led me here, I guess ."

"What's creepy ?"

"Painting. Don't think I didn't notice you changing the subject." Piling highlights onto a woman in fancy dress, he recognized the curve of her cheek and rolled his eyes. "Sometimes," he told Luke, "I am such a drama queen ."

"Thanks for the warning?" the alpha said with a laugh .

"No seriously. I hid ghosts in this picture for myself to find." He settled back down on his stool, forming the ghostly wisps of his mother's hair. "I'm ridiculous ."

"Knowing you have a problem is the first step ."

Jay laughed so hard he dropped the paintbrush, smearing gray down one leg. It hadn't been that funny, but he couldn't stop. "I need sleep. Oh, my God, do I ever need sleep ."

"You and me, both," Luke said. "I'm going to pull this last batch out of the oven and head to bed ."

They disconnected the call, and Jay stared at his phone. "I'm going to sleep for a hundred years," he said to the silent studio. Hopping off the stool, he stretched until his back popped, looking at the ghosts on the canvas. Maybe things wouldn't go the way he expected. Locking up, he sent off a quick text on the short cab ride to the apartment he had managed to sublet .

"What time should I be ready, and what should I wear? —Jay ."

* * *

H e could hear the music from two blocks away. Jay had to stop for a moment and compose himself, resisting the urge to scream. Luke was right. The world was out to get him .

The carnival was huge, taking up the entire parking lot of the City Convention Center. It was definitely bigger than he remembered the one in New York being .

Weaving through the crowds, he had to stand on his toes to spot Luke hovering by the ticket counter. He plastered a smile on his face and ducked around a group of teenagers. This was a terrible idea .

"You made it," Luke said as he approached, shouting to be heard over the screams from the rides overhead. He looked good, the relaxed clothes and cheerful smile giving him a much younger appearance .

Jay nodded, tugging at a paint-smeared t-shirt. "I can't believe there's a fair in town," he said, glaring at the bright lights. "I haven't been to one of these in years ."

"Me, either." The alpha herded them closer to the gate. "Not since that summer ."

Gritting his teeth, Jay held his hand out for the neon green wristband. "What a coincidence ."

Inside, the music and screams were even louder, booths of games set up in a long aisle to funnel the crowd deeper. They were swept along with the flow of traffic, and he used the moment to compose himself. The stuffed animals hanging from the stalls mocked him as he hurried past. Stuffing his hands deeper into his pockets, heat coiled in his gut when a warm hand pressed against the small of his back .

Luke guided them to a gap between two of the games, his hand sliding away as soon as they weren't in immediate danger of being swept apart. "I haven't eaten yet, but if you want to go on that spinning top, maybe I'd better wait ."

Jay peered up at the rides, pointedly ignoring the Ferris wheel stationed at the point of pride in the center of the lot. "I don't remember them being so fast," he said, biting his lip .

Laughing, Luke shook his head. "I don't think they were. This is a much bigger fair than we went to, and maybe the technology has improved or something." He grimaced. "I feel old saying that ."

"You sound old," Jay muttered, growling under his breath when Luke knocked their shoulders together. Shoving him back, he squeaked when Luke ruffled his hair. "Lay off, you big jerk," he said, but he couldn’t help the smile that creased his cheeks .

"Make me." Luke stumbled forward a little as someone bumped into him. "Sorry," he said, steadying himself with a hand on Jay's shoulder .

Jay's heart jumped as those gorgeous green eyes dropped to his lips. The moment hung there, and he leaned in as if drawn by a magnet. This was such a bad idea .

"What the...?" Luke jerked back, distracted by something across the way. "You've got to be joking," he said, throwing his hands in the air .

Following his gaze, Jay stared in shock at the ring toss stall. There, hanging right in the center of the prize wall, was a monkey. Not just any monkey, a gorilla with a coconut drink and sunglasses. He wandered closer in a daze. The world really was out to get them .

Up close, he could see that this gorilla was covered in glitter, but it was so close to the stuffed animal that had started this whole mess that he shivered. "That's... That's a crazy coincidence," he said weakly .

Luke shot him a dark look that faded into concern. "Are you okay? We can go if you want. This was a stupid idea ."

It was tempting. Jay couldn't breathe staring at that stupid gorilla. The original had been a casualty of being homeless, one of the few things he'd missed the most. "I'm going to win it," he said .

"These games are rigged." Luke hovered his hand behind Jay's shoulder like he might have to catch him if he fainted from shock .

Jay smiled, his fingers clenching at the memory of soft, fake fur. "I know ."

The guy running the game was watching them, clicking a handful of rings with a bored expression. Jay wandered closer, digging in his pocket, but Luke got there first .

"Two games, please," he said, handing over a crumpled bill .

"These games are rigged," Jay said. He leaned against the counter with one hip, watching Luke test the weight of the rings. He could already tell that Luke wasn't going to get any points, but he looked so determined that Jay didn't have the heart to tell him .

The first ring landed wide, and Luke cursed. Jay had to look away to hide his smile, and the carny gave him a suspicious look. The second ring landed short, and Jay didn't manage to swallow his laugh fast enough, sliding off the end of the booth when Luke knocked him with his hip. Rolling back his sleeve, Luke glared at the bottles in fierce concentration .

Five games later, he gave up with only a handful of cheap, plastic bracelets to show for his efforts .

Jay picked up a set of rings. Rolling them in his hands, he tried to remember the trick to making them land just right. "Stand back and leave this to the professionals," he said, smirking over his shoulder .

"Professionals, huh? Western conference?" Luke asked sarcastically, crossing his arms and pouting .

"Eastern," Jay retorted, twirling a ring around his finger. Just to be a shit, he threw them one after another in quick succession, barely glancing over as they rattled down the neck of the bottles in a perfect row. It was worth it for the way Luke gaped at him .

"How did you do that ?"

"Magic," Jay said with a wink. "I'll take the gorilla, please ."

The carny rolled his eyes and pulled the stuffed animal down. It was huge, barely fitting under Jay's arm, and the glittery sunglasses and coconut shined with the many lights of the carnival .

"No, seriously," Luke said, trailing along behind him as he walked away with his nose in the air. "How did you do that ?"

Jay laughed, getting in line for a funnel cake. "There's a trick to it," he said. "After I left New York, I worked at a traveling carnival for a while. It was a cheap way to get across the country and way safer than hitchhiking. The kids thought it was funny to challenge me to beat them at the games until the oldest girl showed me all their tricks. I think her grandmother wanted her to marry me, but she was more interested in the fire-eater ."

"Is there anything you haven't done?" Luke asked, brushing aside Jay's attempt to pay. "I invited you ."

Taking the scalding hot paper plate in his free hand, Jay let his eyes glide over the lights without focusing. Now that he was looking for them, he could see the gaps in the facade that showed the greasy, scraped-together life behind the scenes. "It was better than being homeless again," he said .

Luke winced, ducking his head. His eyes followed the same path, but Jay could tell he didn't see past the glitz. "I'm sorry," he said, clearing his throat. "I can't help but think that I was part of the reason you were disowned, and I'm sorry I didn't try to look you up when I got back to school. I should have done more ."

"Bullshit," Jay said, scandalizing a woman walking nearby. He stuck his chin in the air and poked Luke with the edge of the paper plate, leaving a smear of powdered sugar behind. "I didn't just sit there and let him throw me out like yesterday's trash. I walked out of that house with my head held high. I was an idiot, but I was a proud idiot, and the whole situation was my choice. And don't you forget it ."

The cluster of lines that appeared around the edges of Luke's eyes when he smiled made Jay want to do something stupid just to see them again. "Sir, yes, sir," Luke said with a sloppy salute .

"Good boy." Jay shoved the gorilla into Luke's arms and started tearing into his snack. "Hurry up and help me finish this. I want to go on the one that swings upside down .”

Luke groaned .

* * *

"I faxed over the forms. You just need to get them notarized and sent certified mail to the court here in New York. It's important that it's certified mail," Marcus said. "The address is on the first page ."

"I'm on my way out the door right now," Jay assured him, tucking the thick sheaf of papers into his bag .

Marcus hummed. "How's Luke doing ?"

Fumbling his phone, Jay scrambled to pick it back up off the burning hot pavement. "What? Why would you ask me that? Did he say something?" He brushed the grit off the screen and tucked it against his ear as he climbed onto the bus .

"I'm asking because he isn't speaking to me right now, and you're the one who saw him last," Marcus said, his voice dry as the California summer. "Was there something you're worried he might have mentioned ?"

"Nothing happened," Jay blurted .

The older woman sitting across from him rolled her eyes. "Ain't nobody believe that, honey ."

Jay groaned. "We went to a carnival, I won a stuffed animal, and we rode too many fast rides. That's it. We didn't even kiss ."

"Uh huh." Marcus let the words stretch out until they were as thin as Jay's nerves .

"Sounds like a waste to me," the woman said, tossing her braids .

"It wasn't," he told her. "There's nothing to waste ."

"He ugly? Mean? Married?" she asked, leaning forward in her chair .

"No!"

She tutted. "Then it's a waste." She climbed to her feet as the bus pulled to a stop .

Pressing his hands against his eyes, Jay counted backward from ten. "There's nothing to waste. There's nothing," he told Marcus. "We went out, he dropped me off at the apartment I'm subletting, and I went to bed ."

"Right."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Jay hopped off the bus, walking up the street. "Let's talk about something else ."

Marcus chuckled. "I should let you go anyway. Call if you have any issues. Oh," he added as Jay started to say goodbye. "Before I forget, I was supposed to let you know that Luke is available whenever you want to pick up the gorilla you left in the back of his car. Is that a euphemism? I feel like that's a euphemism ."

"I'm hanging up now," Jay said, ending the call and cutting off the alpha's teasing commentary. "I hate everyone ."

Notarizing wasn't as complicated or expensive as he was expecting, but arranging for the paperwork to be sent to New York took the better part of an hour. By the time he left the courthouse, it was late enough for rush hour traffic to be in full force. Tucking himself off to one side to escape the mob, Jay pulled out his phone to let Marcus know that everything was done .

"Are you sure they'll increase the settlement ?"

"The judge is an old friend of mine. It'll be fine ."

Icy shock numbed Jay's fingers, and he stared wide-eyed at the couple standing a few feet from him. Victor Danville had gotten older in ten years, his hair more white than blond, but Jay would recognize him anywhere .

"I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything," Victor said, one gentlemanly hand offered to a woman with piles of dark hair arranged to frame her artificially young face. His warm, charming brown eyes slid over his surroundings like an oil slick, passing over his stepson without recognition. "Don't worry about a thing ."

"I'm on my way to the islands this weekend," she told him, batting her lashes. "This whole ordeal is so stressful, I need a little pick-me-up ."

They passed out of earshot before he could hear Victor's reply, but Jay could imagine it. His hands shook with anger as he sent his text. He thought about calling his mother to ask her why Victor was in California, but by her own choice, she never knew anything about her husband's business dealings .

The courthouse was less than a mile from the gallery. Rather than sit on a bus and melt in traffic, he headed there, needing the calming effect of paint and canvas. Just stepping out of the hot sun, the sweat drying in a frigid layer down his arms, was enough to wash away the lingering discomfort .

The gallery was busy for a Monday, more than one person with the same idea stopping in to get out of the heat. Half a dozen people in business attire were examining his work, and he wasn't sure how to feel about it. Winding his way through to the beach canvas, he took a few deep breaths .

His mind wandered, imagining what the carnival painting would look like on display. The ghosts would be hard to see in the direct, bright light looking straight on, but from the side, they'd appear in waves as the glare passed over them. He'd have to do a whole series. The thought of canvases full of ghosts hanging around the room made him grimace. Maybe not .

"Can I help you find anything ?"

There were three attendants wandering through the paintings, more than he'd ever seen before. He didn't recognize the girl who smiled deferentially at a well-dressed blonde woman standing in front of the big empty hole left by "Lights of the City ."

"I hope so." She flicked well-manicured fingers at the canvases around them. "We recently had one of the larger pieces in this collection delivered to our corporate headquarters, and now the president wants a few more to hang around the lobby ."

The attendant's eyes lit up, and even from where he was standing, Jay could see the dollar signs. "Did you have any particular pieces in mind ?"

"I'm still looking. The original piece, ‘City Lights’ or something, was a gift, so I wasn't sure what the rest looked like. Is this everything available? I need pieces that evoke an international feel." She crossed her arm, staring across the room at the oil-slick colors of "American Dream ."

"I'll check with the owner," the attendant said, hurrying toward the stairs. "I think there are a few canvases that are still waiting to be hung." She disappeared, and the woman wandered toward another group of paintings .

Jay's mind whirled, something about the conversation sticking with him as he ducked back outside. He tried to tell himself that it was just excitement over selling more paintings, but it didn't ring true .

Standing at the bus stop, he pulled out his phone. He barely gave the call time to connect before blurting, "You won the bet ."

"Sorry, what?" Luke sounded exhausted, and Jay almost felt guilty .

"You won the bet. You didn't have to buy the painting," he said, propping himself up against a street light .

"No, that file goes to MacMillan. The red file is for Friday." The line hissed with static, and Jay had to hold it away from his ear. "I liked it," Luke said. "More importantly, I knew my uncle would love it. He's been looking for a good art piece for the new headquarters ."

"But you won the bet," Jay said again, his brain refusing to let go of that fact .

Luke chuckled. "And I kept thinking about it, so I went back and bought it. It's a good painting. Very evocative ."

"I need to go," Jay said, hanging up his phone as a bus pulled up. It was the wrong bus, disgorging a slow trickle of worn-through people before it rolled away. He sat down on the bench and tried to figure out how he felt .

He was still undecided when he dropped his bag inside the door of his studio two hours later .