Newton woke up to the sun shining in through his bedroom window and a pounding headache that felt like a million tiny jackhammers doing their very best to chisel their way into his skull.

He closed his eyes again, lying as still as possible to hopefully make the jackhammers go away.

Except instead of going away, they got worse when he remembered why they were there in the first place.

Too much wine.

Too many feelings.

Just… too much.

He had been having such a good time, too. Calvin and Jack were great and had welcomed him into their home with open arms—and open bottles of wine.

All evening, it had almost felt too good to be true. And maybe it really had been, judging by the way it all came crashing down at the end of the night.

Newton felt like an ass for the way he had run off, for the way he had left Gage standing there, no doubt wondering what the hell was going on.

He needed to call Gage once he had a handle on his emotions, but… what was he going to say?

And what if Gage didn’t even want to talk to him again? What if he decided last night was too much for him, too?

It made Newton’s stomach hurt to think about—not a great combination with the non-stop pounding that was still happening in his head.

Slowly, carefully, he rolled over onto his side, the first step toward actually getting out of bed. The jackhammers hadn’t gotten any better, but they hadn’t gotten worse, either.

That was probably as good as it was going to get for a while.

With way more effort than it should have taken, he pushed himself upright, pausing to close his eyes and take a few deep breaths.

For a few moments, he sat perfectly still, trying to clear his head.

That was too optimistic, though. His mind kept wandering back to Gage, back to last night.

Back to that kiss.

Had he been the one to kiss Gage, or had it been the other way around? Newton could remember stumbling. He could remember feeling Gage’s arms around him—how good it felt to be pressed against his body.

Newton had been safe there.

He’d been happy.

And then it happened.

He still wasn’t sure which one of them had moved first. Maybe they had both moved at the same time. Maybe it didn’t even matter.

Newton had wanted it to happen, regardless of whether or not he had actually made the first move. And he was pretty sure Gage had wanted it, too.

Almost certain he had felt the same thing that had gripped Newton in that moment before their lips met. That magic, that spark had been palpable and undeniable.

Newton could still feel it, even after the wine, even through the pounding headache. Even through the confusion and the conflicting emotions.

He liked Gage. Genuinely liked him. He was pretty sure that the kiss they shared the night before meant that it was more than just a friendly kind of like, too.

Newton was scared of liking someone—anyone—like that, though. As irrational as his brain told him it was, he was scared to open up to someone new, especially when his feelings for Gage were tied so closely with his work.

Martin had ruined that for him. Martin had used work, power, connections, and Newton’s own desire to keep people happy in order to get what he wanted from Newton.

Newton hadn’t forgiven him for it, and he damn sure hadn’t forgotten it. And now, thanks to the way his former boss had manipulated him and had betrayed his trust, Newton was scared to put himself in that position ever again.

He knew without a doubt that Gage wasn’t that kind of person. Gage was gentle and caring, understanding and optimistic. He wasn’t out to get anything from Newton that Newton wouldn’t willingly give him.

But even though Newton knew all of those things were true, there was still the little voice in the back of his mind that wouldn’t shut up. That little voice that told him not to trust anyone, no matter how great they might seem at first glance.

It was that same voice that had ruined their kiss last night, that same voice that had whispered into Newton’s ear that if it seemed too good to be true, it probably was.

If Gage seemed too good to be true, he probably was.

That was what the voice wanted Newton to believe, and for a moment that voice had made him question his judgment.

It not only ruined that moment, but if Newton was lucky enough to get another chance with Gage, that moment would probably be in the back of both their minds.

That was how the voice held onto its power, though. It made Newton doubt his choices, doubt his friends, even doubt his sanity at times.

Finally opening his eyes again, Newton stood up from the bed and stretched. His legs were trembling, and his head hadn’t let up at all, but he was still counting it as a win that he had made it that far.

A shower and some breakfast, and maybe he would even be ready to go downstairs and start his day.

Maybe he would even be ready to call Gage, to push that voice aside, to tell it to shut the hell up once and for all while he reached for the happiness that he thought might actually be out there waiting for him this time.

Gage had given him that hope. Gage and Calvin and Jack.

They had all three shown him in different ways what life without fear could look like. All Newton had to do was to claim it for himself, just like they had.

He sighed as he stumbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

Yeah, he was a hot mess today. But he knew that much already, didn’t he?

Suddenly, pulling himself up by his bootstraps and claiming his happiness felt a lot harder, a lot more like work, a lot further out of reach.

Maybe he should take one thing at a time today.

First a shower.

Then breakfast.

And then?

Then, maybe things would feel a little bit better, a little bit easier. Then maybe he could think about being happy again.