Chapter 19

Cassie

Once Sammie and the baby were home and settled in, my parents left for Michigan. My dad had a meeting he couldn't miss, and he took my mom with him. She hadn't been back in months, so I knew she was looking forward to seeing a few of her friends while she was there. They were only going for a few of days, so grandma stayed home. Mom wanted her to go with them, but she refused.

“Have a good time with your friends,” grandma told her. “I'm two houses away from Cassie. If I need anything, she'll be there. I love you so much, Carrie. Enjoy a little time to yourself. Relax and have some fun.”

I could tell she wanted a little time to herself too, so I gave it to her, but I did text her here and there. She said she was fine, and I believed her.

On the third day, Parker decided to take all the kids with him to Sammie's place. He said there were going to be other kids there to play with and that I should take a long nap. I'd been very tired, and we'd just gotten back home from my doctor's appointment, so the kids were already in the vehicle with him.

When I walked into the house and heard nothing, it didn't feel right. I definitely wasn't used to it. For a second, I thought about going down and hanging out with my grandma, but I didn't. She hadn't had time away from all of us in so damn long, and I knew she needed it as much as my mom needed to see her friends, so I didn't go. Instead, I flopped down onto the couch, put my head back against one of the pillows sitting there, and quickly fell asleep.

I jumped when I heard my phone ring, and I grabbed it to check the time. Shit! I'd slept for three hours. That was more uninterrupted sleep than I'd gotten during the day in so long. My mom's face was on the screen of my phone. I knew I needed to answer it, but I needed a second to wake up first. My phone stopped ringing, but it started right back up again.

“Give me a second, Woman,” I said, before I hit the button and filled my voice with happiness. “Hello, Mom.”

“Cassie,” she said.

“You called me,” I said, with a laugh.

“Very funny,” she said.

“How's your trip going?” I asked.

“We're heading home tomorrow,” she answered. “It's been nice. I saw a couple of my old friends, and I even relaxed with your dad for a bit. Have you talked to your grandma today?”

“No, I haven't sent her any messages yet today,” I answered, not wanting to tell her I'd been to the doctor or that I'd also been sleeping. “I was just getting a few things done.”

“I've been calling her all day, and she hasn't answered once,” she said, with worry filling her tone. “Do you think you could go over and check on her? I know she says that she doesn't need to be checked on, but I need it. Just make up an excuse.”

“I'll ask her if I can borrow a cup of sugar,” I said.

“Smart ass,” she said, as she laughed.

“Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you,” I said. “Maybe this is her mini vacation too. Have you been bothering her? Maybe she turned her ringer off.”

“I have not been bothering her,” she said. “I've called her once a day. That is all. If she'd answer, she wouldn't have to hear from me again today.”

“I'll go over in a second,” I said. “I'm sure everything is fine though. She would have called if she needed anything.”

“I know,” she said. “Just do it for me.”

“I will,” I said, as I pulled my shoes on my feet and grabbed my keys. “I'm going now.”

“Thank you, Cassie,” she said. “When she gives you shit, tell her to get over it. I love her, and there is nothing she can do about it.”

“Bye, Mom,” I said.

I stuck my phone in my back pocket and walked out my door, making sure to lock it behind me. Then I took the short walk two doors down. When I knocked on the door, she didn't answer.

“Poor woman is probably asleep, and you can't leave her alone,” I mumbled about my mom, as I found the right key and let myself in. Then I yelled loud enough for her to hear me. “Grandma.”

She didn't answer, but she wouldn't anyway if she was in bed. All I was doing was checking on her and then going back home, so I left the door unlocked. She needed to enjoy her alone time too, if my mom would let her, I thought.

As I walked up the stairs, I called her name again, letting her know I was there. There was no way I wanted to freak the woman out when she thought she was alone. As I rounded the corner and walked into her room, I laughed. She was asleep, exactly as I'd thought. I walked over to her bed and sat down next to her.

“Grandma,” I said.

She didn't answer, so I reached over and touched her arm.

“Grandma, wake up. Mom is freaking out because you aren't answering your phone.”

When she didn't answer me, I felt my hand, the one on her arm, start to shake.

“Grandma,” I said, as I shook her arm. “Wake up.”

When her eyes barely opened, I felt a tiny bit of relief. She was waking up.

“Cassie,” she squeaked out, barely loud enough for me to hear her, and I began to panic.

“Grandma,” I said. “Are you okay?”

“Tired,” she said.

“What's wrong? Are you sick? Come on,” I said, as I reached around her. “I'm taking you to the doctor.”

“No, Cassie,” she said. “Don't.”

“Yes,” I said. “We need to go. Something is wrong.”

“No,” she said, as she reached her hand slowly toward me and set it on my arm. “I'm ready.”

“For what?” I asked.

“To be with your grandpa,” she said. “My kids are happy. They're all happy.”

“Be with grandpa,” I said. “What are you saying?”

Then it hit me. I knew exactly what she was saying, and she was wrong. There was no way she was going anywhere. She was healthy, always had been.

“I'm so proud of you, all of you,” she said. “I love you all so much. Tell them, Cassie. Tell them all.”

“No,” I said. “I'm calling an ambulance.”

“No,” she said.

“Yes,” I said, as I dialed 911. “Stay with me. I love you. You'll be fine. I'll make sure you're fine.”

I quickly told the 911 operator to send someone, the door was open, we were upstairs. Then I hung up and wrapped my arms around my grandma and held her hand in mine.

“I love you,” she said, her voice getting weaker with each word. “Keep them together, Cassie. You're the one. You need to make sure they stay together.”

“Grandma,” I said, as the tears began slipping from the corners of my eyes. “Stay awake.”

“Promise me,” she said. “Together, Cas.”

Her words trailed off, and she closed her eyes.

“It's a girl, Grandma,” I said, as tears slid down my cheeks. “We found out today.”

She smiled, but she didn't open her eyes, and I began to sob, my tears falling onto our connected hands.

“You have to meet her. I need you to meet her,” I said. “Open your eyes. Please open your eyes.”

She opened them a tiny bit.

“Together,” she whispered. “Promise.”

“I promise,” I cried through my sobs. “I'm going to name her after you, Grandma. Stay with me. I love you. Please don't go. I need you.”

“Cas,” she whispered. “Love you.”

“I love you too,” I said. “Hold on.”

I felt her hand tighten on mine. Then I heard a loud breath, and her hand relaxed.

“Grandma,” I said, but she didn't answer me. Then I yelled. “Grandma. Please.”

I heard them before I saw them. They came into the room fast.

“Grandma,” I yelled out again before my voice began getting louder and louder. “Help her. You have to help her. She's healthy. She's always been healthy. She's ours. We need her. She has to be okay. Help her!”

I screamed the last part as two men moved around me.

“You need to move,” one of them said. “You have to give us room.”

“Grandma,” I cried out, as one of the men took my arms in his hands and pulled me back.

I stood frozen and watched. The two men moved, but their voices got quieter and quieter until I could barely hear them. My tears were coming so fast. She was getting blurry. They had to help her. They had to wake her up. She had to be okay. She was my grandma. She was the leader. She was ours.

The men stopped. They stopped moving. They stopped helping her.

I was on the ground, on my knees, with tears dripping down onto my hands in my lap when I felt a hand on my shoulder. One of them was standing next to me with my phone in his hand. He leaned down, and there was a sad look on his face.

“Is there someone I can call?” he asked.

“Is she okay?” I asked. “Help her!”

“Who can I call?” he asked.

“My husband,” I said. Then I thought about it. No, he had the kids. “No! My brother.”

“James?” he asked, and I nodded, as I cried even harder. “Help her! Grandma!”

I turned and looked back at the other guy.

“Don't just stand there,” I yelled out. “Help her.”

Then I turned back and my head fell into my hands as I sobbed.

“She has to meet her,” I said, and I continued to cry. “She has to be okay.”

It felt like I'd been crying forever by the time I felt another hand touch my shoulder, only that hand was familiar. It was my brother's. I knew it was. I turned toward him, reached up, and wrapped my arms around him.

“They have to help her, James,” I cried, barely able to keep my eyes open any longer. “Tell them. She's healthy. They can't give up.”

“Cassie,” he said, and I could hear him crying. “Come with me. I need you to get up and walk with me.”

“I can't leave her,” I cried. “I can't. I'm so sorry, Grandma. I shouldn't have stayed away. I am so sorry.”

“Cassie,” James said, as he took my arms and pulled me up to stand.

“She said she was ready, James,” I mumbled. “She wants to be with grandpa. That's what she told me. She can't go. I'm not ready.”

“Neither am I,” he said, as he helped me walk out of her room and down the stairs.

He had me sit down on the couch. Then he put a pillow behind my head.

“I'll be back in a minute,” he said, but his voice sounded muffled. “I'm going to go see her.”

“Help her,” I whispered.

Then he was gone and my world faded away.

When I opened my eyes again, Parker was kneeling in front of me. His fingers ran softly across my cheek, as he pushed my hair behind my ear.

“Parker,” I said, as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close. “I'm so glad you're back. I had the worst dream.”

When he pulled away and I looked into his tear stained eyes, I shook my head.

“It was a dream,” I said. “It had to be.”

“Cassie,” I heard Sammie whisper as she walked closer.

Then our eyes connected, and I knew it was real. It had all been real.

“No,” I said, as I shook my head. “It can't be.”

“I know,” she said, as she sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around me.

I looked around the room to see Lance, Lucy, Lance Jr., Lauren, Parker, Sammie, and James, who was sitting alone with his head down in his hands, and every single one of them had tears in their eyes.

When I jumped up from the couch and headed for the stairs, Parker was right behind me. His arms wrapped around me and he spun me toward him.

“I have to see her,” I said, and he shook his head.

“She's gone, Cassie,” he said, as he pulled me closer and held me tight.

“She's in her bed,” I said, as I pushed against him. “I have to see her.”

“No,” he said, as he held me and wouldn't let me go. “She's gone. They had to take her.”

“No,” I said. “Ask James. He saw her.”

“I know, princess,” Parker whispered. “I know he did. He was with her when they took her. She wasn't alone.”

“James,” I said, as I turned to see my brother look up at me with tears streaming down his face.

“She's gone, Cassie,” he said. “They did everything they could, but they couldn't help her.”

“She was in my arms,” I said. “We were talking.”

“I know,” Parker said, as his hand began moving slowly up and down my back. “I need you to calm down, baby.”

“Here,” Lucy said, as she came over and handed me a glass of water and some pills.

“No,” Parker snapped out before I could even reach for them. “She doesn't need them.”

“We were talking,” I said. “I told her I was going to help her. She said no, but I did it anyway. She said she was ready to be with grandpa.”

“What?” Lance asked.

“She said she was proud of us,” I said. “Said we were all happy. She looked so tired. Made me promise we'd all stay together. Said it was my job. I can't replace her. Nobody can.”

The whole room was quiet.

“I told her, Parker. She smiled when I did. She already knew. Did I tell you that?”

He looked down at me nervously.

“You did,” he said. “You told me.”

“Told her what?” James and Lance asked at the same time.

“I told her she couldn't go, Parker,” I whispered. “She needed to meet her. I told her that, but she said she was ready. I tried to keep her awake. I tried to tell her, but she said no. I held her hand. She made me promise to keep our family together. She squeezed my hand. Then she let out a breath, and she was gone. They should have helped her. I told her, Parker. She'll have her name. That's what I said.”

“Okay, Cassie,” he said, as he looked at me nervously.

“Are you mad?” I asked him. “I'm going to do it. I told her I was.”

“No, baby,” he said. “I'm not mad. That sounds perfect. I need you to come sit down. You need to calm down.”

The entire room was quiet, and they were all staring at me.

“What?” I asked. “I tried to help. I swear. Don't be mad.”

“We're not mad,” Lucy said. “There was nothing you could have done. They told us that. She was older, Cassie, and she was ready.”

“Then why are they all looking at me?” I asked her, as she knelt down in front of me.

“Because you just told them all that you were pregnant and that you already know it's a girl,” she said, as she smiled at me. “Congratulations!”

“I did?” I asked, trying to remember what I'd even said.

“You did,” she said.

“So, it's a girl?” Sammie asked.

I looked over at her and nodded.

“Wait!” James said. “You already knew.”

“I figured it out months ago,” Sammie answered.

“Grandma figured it out before you did,” I said.

“What?” Lance snapped out. “That was months ago. You already know it's a girl?”

“We do,” Parker said, as he looked from me to Lance. “I told her, but she wouldn't listen.”

“Are you mad?” I asked.

“No,” Lance said. “I'm actually a little relieved.”

“You are?” I asked.

“I am,” he said. “I don't know how much more of all this I can take. I'm no spring chicken, and you kids are kicking my ass. Please tell me his ass is getting fixed after this one.”

“Not going to happen,” Parker snapped. “Those two pussies might be willing, but I am not.”

“Don't be calling my boys pussies,” Lance snapped out at Parker. “They're smart. That's what they are. Maybe you should take some damn notes from them.”

“I miss her already,” I said.

“What?” Lance asked, as he calmed his voice and looked down at me.

“She was the only one that could shut you up,” I said.

He looked down at me with wide eyes, but he didn't say another word, and everyone around us burst into laughter.

It was the first moment since I'd seen her in her bed that I actually felt like I could breathe. I'd made her a promise, and I was going to do exactly what she asked me to do. No matter what happened, I was going to keep them together, all of them. I would do it for her. She deserved that and so much more, and I would miss her every day for the rest of my life. She was my grandma, and she was amazing.