Two months later

 

“You okay, Amy?”

She sighed and turned to smile at her roommate, Jane.  The petite brunette was giving her a worried look and Amy felt a wave of affection for her.  She’d only known Jane a month or so, but she was already very fond of her.  “I’m fine.  I should be the one asking you that.  This is a tough day for you and you need to stop worrying about me.”

Jane took a deep breath.  “Honestly, it kind of helps to worry about you.”

Amy gave her an impulsive hug.  Jane wasn’t just her roommate, she also worked at the company and was dating Luke.  She smiled inwardly.  Jane worked in the accounting department of Dawson Clothing before applying for the job to be Luke’s personal assistant.  Five minutes before the interview, Jane’s skirt ripped, and Amy repaired it in the bathroom.  Jane’s nervousness combined with a pin from her repaired skirt sticking her in the ass during the interview had made her pooch it.  Luke wasn’t going to hire her, but Amy had intervened and asked him to give her a chance.  Luke had grudgingly agreed.

It hadn’t taken long before her brother was completely smitten with Jane.  Although there were some rocky moments between them the last month, they both finally confessed their love to each other and Jane moved back to the accounting department.  As of five days ago, they were officially a couple.

Jane returned her hug before grabbing a mug from the cupboard and pouring herself a cup of coffee.  She added some cream to it and sat down at the table.  Her simple black dress made her pale skin look even paler and she rubbed at her forehead as Amy sat next to her.

“Where’s Lukie?”

“Just getting out of the shower,” Jane replied.  She glanced at her watch.  “We need to leave a bit early to meet with the funeral director before the funeral starts.”

Her eyes watered and Amy grabbed her hand and squeezed it.  Just six days ago, Jane’s foster mother, Mama J, had passed away from a brain aneurism.  She’d suffered from Alzheimer’s for years.  Jane had nearly starved to death trying to earn enough money to pay for Mama J’s care.

“Will her other foster kids be there?”  Amy asked.

Jane nodded and wiped at her eyes with a tissue.  “Yeah.  A couple of them even offered to help with the funeral costs but Luke had already paid for everything so…”

Amy squeezed her hand.  “Are you angry with them?”

“A little, I suppose,” Jane said.  “I’m not resentful that they left me to care for Mama J once she got sick.  I loved her so much and would have done anything for her, but I guess I’m angry that they just abandoned her.  I know she was different with the Alzheimer’s and it was terrible when she couldn’t remember who you were but they all just – just drifted away.  It was like they forgot who she was and what she’d done for them once she forgot them.  You know?”

“I’m sorry.  I wish I could have met her.  Luke said she was a wonderful lady.”

Jane smiled at her.  “I wish you could have met her too.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Amy said, “So, when are you moving in with Luke?”

Jane gave her a startled look.  “I told Luke I wanted to talk to you about that.”

“Luke didn’t say anything to me,” Amy replied.  “But I know him and there’s no way he’s going to let you continue to be my roommate now that he’s confessed his love for you.  I’m surprised he hasn’t moved all of your stuff to his place already.”

Jane flushed.  “He wanted to, but I was busy with the funeral details and I wanted to make sure you were okay with me leaving.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”  Amy asked.

“Well, because you hate to live alone and if I leave, you’ll have to look for another roommate.”

“Oh, right.”  Amy tried not to look guilty.  She’d invited Jane to be her roommate only because Luke had asked her to do it.  The expense of Mama J’s care meant that Jane could barely afford groceries, lived in a rough part of town called the Badlands and she had no heat or electricity in her apartment.  Worried about her, but too stubborn to admit it to Jane, Luke had convinced Amy to ask her to be her roommate.  Not that she had minded.  Although she enjoyed living on her own, she and Jane got along very well.  It was nice to have someone to hang out with on the weekends. 

“I can stay until you find a new roommate,” Jane said.

“No, that’s fine.  I’m going to try living on my own for a while.  It’ll be good for me.”

“Are you sure?  I don’t mind staying for a while longer,” Jane said.

Amy laughed.  “You might not but my brother would mind.  If you continued to live here, Luke would just move in.  Between you and me, I love Lukie but I don’t want to live with him.”

Jane smiled at her.  “Fair enough.  But if you change your mind, just tell me, okay?”

“Okay.”  Amy grabbed her phone and checked her messages as Jane cleared her throat.

“Um, listen I’m not sure if you know this or not, but Luke told me that Mark is planning on coming to the funeral today.”

Amy tensed before saying, “That’s nice of him.”

“I just thought I would give you a heads up.”

“Thank you, Jane.  I appreciate it,” she said as Luke wandered into the kitchen.  He was dressed in a dark suit and he tugged absently at his tie.

He kissed Jane’s forehead and took a sip of her coffee before sitting beside her.  “You okay?”

She nodded, and he squeezed her hand before smiling at Amy.  “Hey, Ames.”

“Hi, Lukie.”

“Are you driving with us?”  He studied her tank top and yoga pants.  “Because we need to leave soon.”

“No, I’ll drive myself.  I’ll probably go into the office after.  I’m going to go have a shower.  I’ll see you both there, okay?”

“Yes, thanks, Amy,” Jane said.

“You’re welcome, honey.”

 

* * *

 

Amy pumped the brakes on her car as she approached the red light.  A snowstorm last night had left the roads icy and her car slid forward before stopping.  She blew her breath out and drummed her fingers on the steering wheel.

She was feeling anxious and unsettled and it had nothing to do with attending a funeral and everything to do with seeing Mark again.  She hadn’t seen him at all since the family dinner night at her parents’ house nearly two weeks ago.  Pretty impressive feat considering they worked in the same office.

Sudden heat infused her cheeks.  Mark was angry with her that night.  She had spent the day before playing tourist guide for their new international investors.  Pierre and Julien were both handsome and they’d made it perfectly clear they found her attractive.  They shared their woman and while she wasn’t a prude, she couldn’t sleep with them.  She told herself it was because a threesome just wasn’t her thing, but she was lying to herself.  Despite their attractiveness, despite their obvious interest, she had zero interest in them.  Neither of them were Mark.

Stop it!  Stop thinking that way!  You’re going to die alone if you constantly compare every man you meet to Mark.  What happened between you is over.  Be happy that you at least got to fuck him twice.

She should have been happy about that, but she wondered if it wouldn’t have been better to never have been with Mark at all.  At least then she wouldn’t know how incredible it was to be fucked by him, or the way his need for total control in the bedroom left her wet and aching.

The light turned green and she drove through the intersection.  She needed to stop obsessing over Mark.  There was nothing between them.  Of course, the way he had pinned her against the wall at her childhood home, stuck his hand into her pants and demanded she tell him if she had fucked Pierre and Julien suggested that he didn’t want there to be nothing.

She shivered as she remembered the feel of his hot breath in her ear.  The rough touch of his fingers as he’d first rubbed her clit then slid two fingers deep inside of her pussy.  He’d called her his little slave, made her admit that she hadn’t fucked Pierre or Julien, and told her that her pussy belonged to him.  She would have gone back to his house and been on her knees and willingly sucking his cock if they hadn’t been interrupted by Jane and Luke.

Thankfully, Jane had prevented Luke from seeing her with Mark, but the close call rattled Mark.  He’d immediately backed away from her and when she’d reached for him, he’d pushed her hands away.

“Don’t,” he said hoarsely.  “I – this was a mistake.  I’m sorry.”

“I’ll always be a mistake to you, won’t I?”

“Amy, you know we can’t do this.”

“Then stay away from me!”  She said.  “Just stop touching me and stay the fuck away from me!”

She’d spoken those words in the heat of the moment, angry over his rejection again, but Mark had taken them to heart.  She hadn’t seen or spoken to him since.  As she approached the next intersection, the light turned yellow and she tapped the brakes.  The car slid forward, and she pumped the brakes again until she came to a stop just inches from the car in front of her.  She rested her head against the back of the seat.  She didn’t miss Mark.  It was better this way.

There was a sudden loud bang and the car jerked forward, slamming into the car in front of her.  Her seat belt locked painfully against her chest as the air bag deployed and she made a muffled scream of surprise.

 

* * *

 

Mark leaned against the wall as two women wearing black dresses slipped by him to claim two of the few remaining seats.  The funeral home was packed with people, but he didn’t see the one person he was looking for.

Knock it off, idiot.  Amy doesn’t want to see you and is a funeral really the place to be mooning over her?

His inner voice was right, but it didn’t stop him from scanning the crowd of people.  Luke hadn’t told him specifically that Amy would be at the funeral, but Jane was her friend.  Amy would be here.  So why didn’t he see her?  The service started in less than ten minutes and it wasn’t like Amy to be late.  He could see Jane standing near the front talking with a few other mourners.  He scanned the crowd again, frowning when he saw Luke huddled in an empty corner of the room.  He was talking on his cell phone and Mark could tell from the look on his face that something was wrong.  He made his way over to Luke just as his best friend tucked his cell phone into his pocket.

“What’s wrong?”  Mark asked.

“Amy,” Luke said, “she’s been in a car accident.”

“What?”  Icy cold fear gripped his heart and he grabbed Luke’s arm.  “Is she okay?”

Luke nodded.  “Yes, she was rear ended, and it pushed her car into the one in front of her hard enough to deploy the airbag.  She said she doesn’t have any injuries, but the car isn’t driveable.”

“Shit.  Where is she now?”

“Still at the accident.  The police were just about to take her statement.”  Luke swept his gaze over the crowd of people.  “Do you see Mom and Dad?  Amy said she would take a cab home, but I don’t think she should do that.”

“Give me the address, I’ll go,” Mark said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.  Where is she, Luke?”  Even he could hear the panic in his voice and he wasn’t surprised when Luke gave him an odd look.

“She’s okay, Mark.  She said she wasn’t hurt.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said.  “I’m just worried about her.”

Luke clapped him on the back.  “Did you and Amy finally make up?”

“I keep telling you, we’re not fighting.”  A complete lie but he couldn’t tell Luke the truth.

“Maybe I should send Dad to get her.”

“No!  It’s fine.  We’re not fighting.  Tell me where she is, and I’ll take her home.”

“Okay, thanks, buddy,” Luke said.  He recited the address and, panic still clawing at his stomach, Mark hurried out of the funeral home.

 

* * *

 

Fifteen minutes later as he parked on the street and jumped out of his car, the panic roared its way up his throat.  Amy’s car wasn’t too badly banged up, but he could see her sitting in the back of an ambulance with a paramedic.  He ran past the damaged cars and climbed into the back of the ambulance without a second thought.  He cupped the back of her neck, staring at the abrasion on her cheek as she gave him a startled look.

“Hey, buddy, you can’t be in here,” the paramedic said.

Mark ignored him.  “Amy, baby, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”  She pulled away from him.  “What are you doing here?”

“Luke told me what happened.  I said I would give you a ride home.”

“I can take a cab,” she said.

He reached for her and she batted his hands away.  “Don’t.”

“You know this guy?”  The paramedic asked.

Amy nodded.  “Yes, he’s my brother’s friend.”

“You’re in my way,” the paramedic said.  He was young and good looking in a smarmy kind of way.  Mark disliked him instantly. 

His dislike grew when the paramedic raised one eyebrow at him and said, “Either move back and give me some room or get out of my bus.”

He slid over on the bed a little as the paramedic leaned forward and ran his gloved finger over the abrasion on Amy’s face.  She hissed, and he smiled at her.  “Sorry, Amy.”

“That’s okay,” she said.

“Airbags are great but sometimes they can leave some abrasions and burns,” the paramedic said.  “You sure you don’t have any pain in your chest?”

“No,” Amy said.

The paramedic placed his hand on Amy’s upper chest and pressed anyway.  Mark’s dislike turned to hate, and he reached out and grabbed Amy’s hand.  She tried to tug free and he linked their fingers together.

She rolled her eyes at him before smiling at the paramedic.  “It doesn’t hurt, Cole.”

Mark’s jealousy flamed higher.  Why the hell did she know his name?

“Okay, good.  Let’s put some ointment on that abrasion and then I’ll set you free.”  He winked at her and Amy smiled again at him.

“Maybe she should go to the hospital for some x-ray’s,” Mark said.  “Are you really qualified to know nothing is broken just by touch?”

“Mark!”  Amy said. 

Cole gave him an amused look.  “You a doctor, Mark?”

“No,” Mark said through gritted teeth.

“Then how about you let me do my job?”

Cole turned away and Amy gave Mark a furious look.  He squeezed her hand but wouldn’t release it when she pulled.  She huffed out her breath and gave him another murderous look as Cole turned back.

“Hold still, Amy.  Okay?”  He said.

“Yes.”  She tilted her face as he spread a layer of ointment on the abrasion on her face. 

She winced, and Mark made a low sound of distress as Cole said, “Sorry, I know it stings.”

When he was finished, he sat back and removed his gloves before patting Amy on the knee.  Mark could barely stop from punching the smug asshole.  His hand squeezed Amy’s compulsively.

“Mark!  Too tight,” Amy said as she tried to pull her hand away.

He released her hand and mumbled an apology.  Douchebag Cole said, “You’ll be pretty sore by tomorrow morning but if you have any type of chest pain or trouble breathing, go to the hospital immediately.  Understand?”

She nodded, and he tucked the ointment away.  “You probably shouldn’t be alone tonight.  Do you have someone who can stay with you?”

“I’m staying with her,” Mark said.

“No, you’re not,” Amy said.

“Yes, I am.”.

She glared at him as Cole laughed.  “Well, make sure someone stays with you.  Just to be on the safe side.  It was nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.”  Amy shook his hand and Mark jumped out of the ambulance.  He helped her out of the ambulance, giving her an anxious look when she stopped and stretched gingerly.

“You okay?”

“Fine.”  Her voice was colder than the air around them.

She glanced at Cole before moving out of earshot of the paramedic.  She gave Mark a fierce look.  “What the hell is going on with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“In the ambulance – I thought you were going to punch Cole.”

“How do you know his name?”  He asked.

She stared at him blankly.  “What?”

“You know his name.”

“Yeah, because he introduced himself.  Its what normal people do,” Amy said in exasperation.

“He was flirting with you.”

Amy’s mouth dropped open.  “Are you crazy?  He was not flirting with me.”

“Yes, he was.”

“He was doing his job.  Not every guy who talks to me is flirting, for God’s sake,” she said.  “Besides, even if he was, it’s none of your damn business.”

Before he could reply, a police officer joined them.  “Ms. Dawson?”

“Yes?”

“Tow trucks are here.  Can you let the driver know where you want your car towed?”

She nodded and, shivering in the cold air, headed over to the tow truck driver.

 

* * *

 

“Amy, are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital?”

“I’m sure, Mom.”  Amy shifted her cell phone to her other hand.  “But I’m not suppose to stay alone tonight.  Could I ask you to - ”

“Oh, I know, honey,” her mom said.  “Mark told me when he called.  It’s really sweet of him to stay with you tonight.  Honestly, I’m glad to hear it.  It felt like there was a bit of tension between the two of you during the last family dinner.  Did you two have a fight or something?”

“No,” Amy said.  She thought about asking her mother to stay with her anyway before dismissing it.  Her mother would want to know why she didn’t want Mark staying with her and she didn’t have the energy or the brain power tonight to think up a viable excuse.

“Honey, I’d better go.  The funeral is over but we’re still at the reception at Luke’s.  I want to start cleaning up a bit, so Jane and Luke don’t have to do it.”

“Okay.  I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, Ames.”

She hit the end button just as Luke texted her.

You need us to stay with you tonight?

No, I’m good.  Mark is staying with me.  Take care of Jane and tell her I’m sorry I missed the funeral.

Will do.  Glad you and Mark made up.

She sighed and tossed her cell phone on the bed before dropping her towel.  Mark had insisted on driving her home and coming into the house with her.  He had been upstairs and drawing her a bath before she even had her boots off.  She’d lingered in the tub, not just because the hot water felt good against her already aching body, but because she’d hoped that Mark would just leave.  Obviously, that wasn’t happening.

She studied the silk nightgown in the drawer before snorting and reaching for a plain cotton one.  She slipped it over her head, yanked on some underwear and then pulled on her terrycloth robe and belted it securely.  She didn’t want Mark to think she was trying to seduce him.  That ship had sailed.

Then why is he staying with you tonight?  Why did he look so freaked out when he climbed into the ambulance?

Because he was a nice guy and he didn’t hate her.  Just like she didn’t hate him despite telling herself that she did.  She wished she hated him.  It would make things so much simpler.

She shut the light off and headed downstairs to the kitchen.  Mark was stirring some soup on the stove.  “How are you feeling, Ames?”

“Fine,” she said.  She sat down at the island.

“I found some leftover soup in the fridge.”

“Luke made it the other day.  I called Mom to ask her to stay with me.”

“Oh yeah?”  He grabbed two bowls from the cupboard and set them on the counter.

“Turns out that you’d already called and told her you’d be staying with me tonight.”

He poured soup into both bowls and carried them to the island before grabbing spoons and napkins.  “Eat up, Amy.”

He sat down across from her and took a bite of soup. “It’s good.”

“Of course it is.  Luke made it,” she said.  She picked up her spoon but didn’t dip it into her soup.  “Why are you here, Mark?”

“Because you need someone to stay with you,” he said.

“Mom would have stayed with me.”

“I thought Luke and Jane might need her tonight.”

“Bullshit,” she said.  “Why did you come to the accident?  Why did you drive me home and tell everyone else you’re staying with me?”

He gave her an angry look.  “Because I miss you!  Is that so hard to believe?  We used to be friends.  I miss talking to you and hanging out with you.  All right?”

“Is that all you miss?”  She asked.

He stared into his soup.  “Does it matter?”

“It matters to me.”

“No,” he said.  “It isn’t all that I miss.  I miss kissing you, touching you, listening to your soft cries when you’re coming all over my cock.  Every single night I think about what it was like to be in your tight pussy.  I think about it until my dick is rock hard and I have to masturbate like a fucking teenage boy just to get some sleep.  So, yeah, I miss fucking you.”

He gave her a look of smoldering need and intensity and despite the soreness of her body, liquid flooded her panties.  Her pulse was thudding, and she was much too warm.

“Mark,” she whispered before reaching for his hand.

He pulled away just as her fingers brushed his and stood up, catching the stool when it started to tip over.  “Don’t, Amy,” he rasped.

He staggered over to the counter and gripped the sink, staring out the window into the darkness.

“Mark,” she said.

“Give me a minute,” he replied.  “Eat your soup.”

His Dom voice was back, and she was dipping her spoon into the soup and taking a mouthful even as new lust fluttered to life in her belly. 

“It’s not just the fear of losing you, and your family,” Mark said.  He continued to stare out the window and she had to strain to hear his low voice.  “I like certain things in the bedroom, Ames.”

“I know,” she said.  “You’re dominant.  I liked the – the way you were with me.”

“It’s more than that.  I was holding back with you, giving you only what you asked for.”

That wasn’t true.  She had asked for a stranger to fuck her.  She hadn’t asked for him to make her call him Sir, or to pose naked in a slave position, or to punish her when she didn’t obey him.  Of course, considering that it had sent her lust to a whole other level, she wasn’t going to bring up his mistake.

“If you knew what I – I wanted to do to you, Ames, you’d be horrified.”

“You don’t know that.”

He turned and gave her a stark look.  “I do.”

“Tell me what you like in the bedroom,” she said.

He leaned against the counter and closed his eyes for a moment.  When he opened them, she could see a weary resignation in them that hurt her heart.

“I like impact play.  Do you know what that is?”

“Maybe,” she said.  “It’s spanking, right?”

“Yes, I like to spank,” he said.  “Not just with my hand, but with other things too.”

“Like what?”

“Floggers, paddles, crops,” he said.  “Hell, sometimes just a plain old wooden ruler.”

A fresh surge of liquid soaked her panties.  The word ruler had brought on a sudden and twisted little fantasy.  An image of her dressed like a school girl and being bent over a desk while Mark lifted her skirt and spanked her with a ruler was playing on a loop in her head.  She squeezed her thighs together and pushed her soup away.  Who the fuck knew she had a teacher/school girl fantasy?

“I can handle spanking,” she said.

Mark sighed.  “It’s not what you think it is.  It’s not a fun little game of slap and tickle between two consenting adults.  I’ll spank you hard enough to leave marks.”  He hesitated and then said, “I want to leave marks, Amy.  I only play with women who like pain mixed with their pleasure and want those marks too.”

He tugged on the lobe of his left ear, a habit he’d had since he was a kid and one she’d always found slightly endearing.  “I’ll make you wear my collar and call you my slave.  I need total control in the bedroom – always.  Your orgasms belong to me and if you have one without my permission, I’ll punish you.  I’ll tie you up and spank you.  I’ll tease you, fuck you, and make you beg me for your orgasm.”

He tugged on his ear again before lapsing into silence.  She took a deep breath and said, “I’m okay with those things.”

There was a flare of lust in his eyes before he looked away and shook his head.  “No, Amy.”

“You don’t get to just say no,” she said.

“Yes, I do,” he replied.  “You don’t understand exactly what I’m saying.  You think you do but you don’t.  It’s my fault because I’m not – I can’t seem to explain it well enough.”

“I don’t mind giving up control in the bedroom,” she couldn’t seem to quite say the word submissive, “and you know that.  You’ve seen it.”

“Being submissive and enjoying impact play or slave play are different things,” Mark said. 

“We can find out together if I enjoy it.”

“No.”

“Stop saying no,” she said in frustration.

Mark paced back and forth.  “What happens if you don’t like it, Amy?  I’m not going to change.  I don’t do vanilla sex, ever.”

“I liked what you did to me and I think I would like it a little rougher,” she said.

“This isn’t the only reason we can’t be together.  There’s still Luke and your parents to consider.  They are the only family have and I don’t want to lose any of you.  If we’re more than friends, that might happen.”

“I’m not worth the risk, is what you’re saying,” she said.

His hands clenched into fists before he slumped against the counter.  “You can’t possibly understand.  You have your parents and Luke.  You don’t know what it’s like to lose your entire family.  I do, and I can’t go through that again.”

The pain in his voice tore at the lining of her stomach until she thought she would throw up.  “I’m sorry.”

“I want to be friends again.”  He gave her a hopeful look.  “Can we?”

“I don’t know,” she said.  “I don’t know if I can go back to being just friends.”

“We can try.”

She studied the smooth granite top of the island.  She didn’t want to be just friends with him.  She’d spent the last decade being just friends and it wasn’t enough.  But saying no to his request meant losing him forever.  The tension between them would force him to eventually drift away from her and her family.  His fear of losing her family would come true.  She loved him too much to do that to him.

She lifted her head.  “Yes, we can try.”

His shoulders relaxed, and he sat down across from her before reaching for her hand.  She let him take it and he squeezed gently.  “Thank you, Amy.”

“You’re welcome,” she said.  “But, there’s something you need to know.”

Don’t, Amy.  Don’t say it.

He stared silently at her and she said, “What we did – what you did to me – I liked it very much.  I want to,” she paused, “try it again and maybe even try different things.  I’m not telling you this to convince you to, uh, play with me, but because I don’t want you to think I’m going behind your back when you see me at the club again.”

Oh, you dirty little liar.

She was.  She was a disgusting liar and she hated herself for it.  Still, she held her breath and waited for Mark to immediately tell her she wasn’t allowed to play with anyone at the club.  That, if she was going to do this, then forget being friends.  He would be more than happy to help her fulfill her most depraved fantasies.

Mark’s hand tightened on hers and dismay rushed through her when he said, “I understand.  Let me know when you’re planning on being at the club and I’ll make sure the right Dom plays with you.”

He pulled his hand free and stood again, grabbing his bowl of soup and turning away to set it on the counter.  She stared dumbly at his broad back.  Mark really was finished with her. 

She had played her hand and lost. 

He was willing to let another man touch her, willing to let another man –

She slid off the stool and headed for the hallway.

“Amy?”

She paused in the doorway and without looking at Mark, said, “I’m suddenly really tired and a little sore.  Do you mind if I call it a night?”

“No, of course not,” Mark said.  “If you need anything in the night…”

She made her voice light and cheery.  “I’m sure I’ll be fine, but I’ll holler for you if I need help.  Good night.”

“Good night, Amy.”