- Alex -
I hadn’t heard from her in days, and when I couldn’t stand it anymore, I walked into her gym like I owned the place.
André was working the front desk and almost acted normal around me, except he failed to greet me with his characteristic fist pump and seemed reticent to speak with his usual slang.
“Is Gemma here?” I asked, feigning a casualness I didn’t feel.
“You know it,” he said, nodding towards her office door.
“How’s she been?” I asked, hoping for something that might give me a heads up as to what I was walking into.
He stayed quiet for a moment, as if assessing where his loyalty lay. “Professional,” he said finally. “As always.”
“Right.”
“Can I be straight with you, though?” His eyes darted around the gym.
“Of course.”
He lowered his voice. “I think everyone kind of misses having you around.”
“Thanks,” I said, patting his arm. “That means more than you know.”
“Why did you do it?”
“I think I better explain that to the boss first,” I said, glancing towards the office. “If that’s cool with you.”
“Sure.”
“But I am sorry,” I said. “For lying to you.”
“I’m sure you had your reasons.”
I did,” I said. “Not sure how good they were, but—”
“Better get in there,” he said, giving me the impression that he almost felt guilty for fraternizing with the enemy. Then again, I shouldn’t have been surprised. He and Gemma had been working together for years.
I nodded and excused myself, noticing that everything seemed to be in order as I made my way over to the office. Not that I was expecting any visible evidence that my presence had been missed, but it was a bittersweet observation.
“Come in,” Gemma sang after I knocked.
I stepped inside and my eyes found her behind her desk, right before the color drained from her face.
“I thought you would’ve called by now,” I said, wishing I’d said anything else. God, the last thing I wanted was to sound like a heartbroken teenager.
She considered me before speaking. “It’s not like your fingers were broken in the fight.”
“You told me not to call.”
She dropped her eyes to the open notebook in front of her and took a deep breath.
“I’ve missed you.”
She looked up at me sharply. “Don’t.”
“What do you mean don’t? It’s the truth.”
She laughed. “Oh, well in that case, I guess I believe you. In that case, maybe it doesn’t matter that you’re a liar and a cheat.”
“A cheat?!” I rushed to the front of her desk. “I am not a cheat.”
“Yes you are,” she said, her back stick straight. “You cheated me out of feeling like I earned this job.”
“You did earn this job.”
“Did I?” She squinted at me. “When exactly did I earn it? Before or after you took advantage of me in the steam room?”
I clenched my jaw. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
She scoffed.
“I did not take advantage of you.”
“Didn’t you?” she asked, her eyes fixed on mine. “Because last I checked, if you lie to get a woman into bed, you’ve hardly earned her genuine consent.”
“I didn’t lie to get you into bed.”
“You pretended to be someone else, Alex. You pretended to be someone I knew, someone I trusted.”
“But you do know me.”
She shook her head.
“I know who you wanted me to think you were.”
“You’re being unreasonable.”
“I’m being unreasonable?!”
“At least let me explain—”
She raised a palm to stop me. “With all due respect, I think that will only make one of us feel better, so I’d rather not waste my time.”
“You think hearing me out is a waste of time?”
She crossed her arms. “I think this whole thing has been a waste of time.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Why?” she asked. “It’s not like any of it was real.”
“It was for me.”
She rolled her eyes. “Give me a break.”
“I did, Gemma. If you look around, you’ll realize I did give you a break. A break you deserved but—”
“Why are you even here?” she asked, leaning back in her chair. “You think I’m going to grovel because I know who you are now? You think I’m going to thank you for making a fool out of me?”
“I didn’t do any of this to make a fool out of you.”
“My feelings were just an unfortunate casualty then, were they?”
“No,” I said, ready to pull my hair out. “If you’ll just let me explain—”
“You have thirty seconds.”
I sighed. “I was going to sell the company. I fell out of love with it, and I was determined to sell.”
She pinched her lips twitched with annoyance.
“But the people I trust most begged me for one last-ditch effort to see if I’d truly lost interest in the business.”
She blinked at me but gave nothing away.
“It was their idea for me to go undercover like this. The exercise was supposed to give me insight into what was and wasn’t working in my gyms.”
She glanced at her watch.
“The reason we picked this one was because of the retention rates.”
She cocked her head.
“All I knew coming in was that this gym was doing something better than all the other locations.”
“And?”
“It’s you,” I said. “You’re the reason it stands out.”
She swallowed.
“There’s no question.” I looked behind me so I could sit down.
“Don’t get comfortable,” she said, sounding no less angry than when I first walked in.
“That’s why I’ve been so encouraging,” I said, stepping away from the chair. “I wanted to see what you would do with the place because you have the passion I used to have.”
“And here I thought you were being supportive because you loved me.”
“I do love you.”
“No, you don’t.”
I furrowed my brow. “Don’t dismiss my feelings. You don’t know what the fuck I feel.”
She lifted a hand and rubbed her eyes.
“I’ve loved you for longer than you know.”
“Oh please. Don’t spoil the lovely connection we had as kids. That wasn’t love. That was a collective two days of friendship spread out over three years.”
“Best two days of my life,” I said, locking my eyes on hers.
She stayed quiet for a minute, and her expression was so sad I felt something in my chest crack.
“Are you done?” she asked finally.
“Loving you or with my speech?”
“Both.”
“Only the latter,” I said. “I’m never going to stop loving you.”
“Yes you are.”
“Sorry, Gemma, but you have no control over that.”
She pressed her lips together.
“I know I hurt you,” I said. “And I’m sorry.”
She sighed. “Too bad there’s nothing as empty as a liar’s words, huh?”
“I’m not a liar,” I said. “I’m a guy who’s about to save six hundred jobs as a result of inadvertently hurting your feelings.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Dismiss me like this is over,” I said. “Like it’s nothing.”
She cast her eyes down, and for the first time since I walked in her office, it occurred to me that perhaps I had us all wrong. Perhaps it was over…at least, for her.
“Gemma.”
She lifted her blue eyes and shook her head. “I’ve had enough of selfish people, Alex, and I’m sick of getting hurt.”
“I would never hurt you.”
“You already have,” she said. “Now if you don’t mind—”
“One more thing.”
Her eyes fell closed like she was truly weary of my company. “What?”
“I’d like you to come to the next board meeting.”
“What for?” she asked.
“To discuss the results of the Fast Track to Fitness classes you’ve been running.”
“And if I say no?”
“Why would you say no?” I asked. “It’s an opportunity to help countless more people.”
“Including you?”
“Yes. Including me.”
She considered the offer quietly for a moment. “Sure, boss. Send me the details.”
I cringed when she called me boss, as there was no love in her voice. “Thanks,” I said, backing towards the door like I was moving through molasses.
After all, I still didn’t know if she’d forgiven me for what I’d done, much less if she had any affection left for me. But some inclination towards self-preservation stopped me from asking those questions.
And for the first time since the experiment began, I feared I might be living a lie.