WHEN KAYLEE WOKE UP, the sun was just starting to bleed into her consciousness. Rose gold and gentle. It was filtering through the slats on the stall, from the small opens in the barn door.
The barn door. She was in the barn.
She sat upright, and the man next to her mumbled something and rolled over, his elbow beneath his head, acting as a pillow.
Bennett.
She smiled, looking down at him while he slept. She couldn’t help herself. She touched him. Ran her fingertips down his bare biceps and sighed a little bit as she touched all that hot, naked skin.
His expression was relaxed while he slept, much less tense than it was when he was awake.
She wanted to keep sitting here like this, looking at him.
But she really had to pee.
She scurried out of the stall, moving cautiously, naked, across the barn, the early morning air chilling her vulnerable bits. She dressed quickly, still mourning the loss of Bennett’s warmth and weight as she slipped out of the barn and across the gravel toward the house. She just needed to use the bathroom, and then she would come back to the barn and figure out a way for Bennett to sneak her back home.
She had a feeling he hadn’t intended to stay out there all night with her. Hell, she certainly hadn’t intended to stay out all night. But after the second or third time things had gotten a little bit blurry, and she had been very, very sleepy.
It had seemed like the most natural thing to do to curl up against his chest and enjoy his warmth. To luxuriate in their connection for just a little while longer.
Plus, she had been so sleepy.
And cold.
Damn Bennett Dodge and his seductive coziness.
Well, and the seductive rest of him.
She was reflecting on that as she tiptoed into the house and down the hall to the bathroom. She made quick use of the facilities, casting a critical eye over herself in the mirror. She had hay in her hair. And not a small amount of it. She also looked puffy. The tiny bit of mascara she’d put on for dinner the night before was now imprinted on her cheek. To say nothing of the blanket seam that had carved out a divot on her forehead.
She was not looking her best.
But then, she supposed that was part and parcel to waking up with someone. They got to see the morning after. Which was a mixed bag.
Bennett had looked so gorgeous. So perfect. Not a blanket seam in sight.
That hardly seemed fair.
She sighed heavily and crept back out of the bathroom, heading past the kitchen and leaping like a frightened rabbit when she heard the sound of a clearing throat.
She paused, looking into the other room.
And there was Dallas. Sitting at the kitchen table with his hands folded, his expression amused.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning,” she said. “You’re up early.”
“Yeah, well, my... Bennett broke me. I keep waking up at six o’clock like that’s something normal people do.”
“Damn ranchers,” she said, laughing nervously and edging to the side.
He looked at her far too astutely for her liking. “You seem to be wearing what you had on yesterday.”
“That’s very observant of you. Most guys don’t even notice when a woman gets a haircut. You should hang on to that. Your girlfriend will appreciate it someday.”
“Did you spend the night?”
She picked at her fingernail behind her back and tried to look innocent. “I did not spend the night at the house, no.”
“On the property?”
How the hell was she being interrogated by a teenager and not the other way around? Why did it make her feel guilty?
“Well...”
“If I looked in Bennett’s bedroom... He’s not in there, is he?”
“Maybe not,” she said.
The kid smiled. Little snot. “Congrats,” he said.
She narrowed her eyes. “On?”
“Making it out of the friend zone.”
“That is... This is a bad example. And I apologize.”
“Why is it a bad example?”
“Because. Responsible...behaviors and you’re far too young to be exposed to adult sorts of situations.”
“For one, this is an adult situation I’ve been exposed to multiple times of my own free will. Yeah. You grow up fast when you don’t have parents around. Also, I prefer being exposed to you and Bennett and, you know...regular meals than I do to neglect and starvation. So, don’t worry. My impressionable youth was scarred a hell of a lot more deeply by the abandonment of my mother than by this implied sex scene.”
She huffed out a breath. “Your dad is going to be so mad that you know.”
“No, he won’t.”
“Yes, he will.”
“He’s never mad at you.”
Kaylee sighed and moved into the room, sitting down in the chair across from Dallas. “He does get mad at me. And I get mad at him. But we care about each other. So...we work it out. That’s what being friends means.”
“And also you spending the night?”
“That’s new. But we’ll work that out too. Because you don’t quit on someone you love just because it’s hard. And whatever Bennett and I are or aren’t...we love each other.”
“That’s good,” Dallas said, clearly trying to play it all off like he didn’t care. But she suspected he cared. “I’d hate for you two to have a bitter custody battle over me.”
“Well, I’ve been friends with him for seventeen years. So, I kind of doubt that would ever happen.”
Dallas frowned. “I guess you have to stay in one place for a while to make friends like that.”
“I didn’t move here until I was about thirteen. Before I met Bennett...I didn’t have friends like that. There’s a lot of time for you to make friends.”
“Assuming I stay,” Dallas pointed out.
Her heart felt tender. Bruised. Even after a couple of weeks, Dallas was living with one foot out the door. No matter how smooth things seemed to be going, of course he didn’t feel secure yet. Why would he?
She understood that better than she’d like to.
She wished she could reach out and touch him. Offer comfort. But she had a feeling he wouldn’t like it.
“That feeling that you have,” she said slowly, “that uncertainty...just because you feel it, doesn’t mean it’s trying to warn you. If you’re not sure if you’re going to stay here, that’s because you’re not sure if you’re going to leave or not. Bennett is never going to ask you to go.”
Dallas looked down. “He might.”
“He won’t. Remember, I’ve known him for seventeen years. Also, there’s his whole family. Can you imagine what Wyatt would do to him? Your grandfather? You have a whole lot of people here who care about you.”
Dallas nodded slowly, like he was considering that. “Though,” he pointed out, “it’s Grant who would beat him up.”
“Do you think so?” Grant was much more serious than Wyatt. And it was interesting having known him before he lost his wife and knowing him now. She knew that he had that in him, but she was surprised that Dallas did.
“Yeah. It’s always the quiet ones.”
“Fair enough.”
“You should go back to wherever you were. So that he doesn’t wake up and think you ran out on him.”
“He wouldn’t think that.”
“Right. Because you’re friends.”
“Yes. Not that weird things don’t happen, misunderstandings and all of that. But mostly... We know each other. We trust each other. That takes time, and there’s nothing but time that can manufacture that. People doing more good things to you than crappy ones.” She swallowed hard, finding the next words difficult. But she wanted Dallas to know this. She wanted him to talk about it. She hadn’t been able to at his age, and maybe that was part of why it had controlled her life for so long. She didn’t want that for them. “My parents never wanted me,” she said. “They wanted a baby to try to make them happier, to try to fix their situation.”
Dallas frowned. “Why would a kid make anyone happier when your life is shit?”
“They can’t fix it,” she said. “They just add stress. And I could never be that easy, magic fix for them. So they lost interest in me. Completely. And honestly, if it wasn’t for my own stubbornness, and my desire to not let them decide whether or not I went to school looking like a mess, or whether or not I went at all, and the support that I found with the Dodge family, I don’t know where I would be. But it’s been a lot of years of those people, good people, showing me that someone can be good. And more importantly, someone can be good to me.”
Dallas wasn’t looking at her anymore. His eyes were fixed on a blank space on the wall. She hoped he’d taken that on board. Hoped he could.
She stood up slowly. “Do you know how to make coffee?”
“Yeah. With these crazy hours it’s a matter of survival. I think that’s actually the real reason he has me here. To make coffee.”
She shook her head. “I’ll get Bennett. We’ll be in in a minute.”
“Do you want me to act cool like I don’t know?” he asked, deadpan.
“No.” She looked at him and smiled. “Mostly because you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t be able to pass up the opportunity to say something smart-ass.”
Dallas grinned. “Yeah, that does sound like me.”
“Just wait. I’ll bring Bennett back.”
She walked out of the kitchen and out the front door, taking the steps on the porch by twos and back over to the barn. Bennett was still sleeping. “Wake up, sunshine,” she said.
Bennett startled, and then sat up, the blankets falling down around his waist, giving her an excellent showing of his muscles. That dark, enticing chest hair that covered his pecs and ran in a slim trail down his abs. It had been perfect last night. Seeing him naked. Really. With the lights on and everything. She hoped to do it again soon.
“I slept in the barn?”
“Yes, we slept in the barn.”
“You’re dressed.” The statement was faintly accusing in tone.
“Yes,” she confirmed. “I am dressed. I had to go in the house. And the jig is up.”
“What jig?”
“The jig. Us keeping this a secret from Dallas. He caught me.”
“Were you holding a sign that said we had sex?”
“No. But I’m not a good liar, and I was wearing the same clothes as I had on the night before. It wasn’t exactly rocket science.”
“Great.”
“It’s fine,” she said.
“It just feels complicated,” Bennett said. “Like everything.”
“I hear you,” she responded. “But he doesn’t seem especially emotionally scarred or anything.”
“You’re right,” he said, rolling up into a standing position, letting the blanket fall down completely. How were they supposed to have a conversation with him standing there naked like that? His body was a testament to his hard labor. That chiseled line that sat low on his hip, tracing a path down to the most masculine part of him. His perfectly carved thighs and what was quite frankly a glorious behind.
“I’m objectifying you,” she said as he began to fold the blankets up. “Just so you know.”
He turned his head, a slow smile curving his lips. “Okay.”
“You should probably be appalled.”
“Should I be?”
“I’m leering.”
“Well, I’m not appalled.” In fact, he abandoned his blanket folding to cross the room and pulled her against his naked form, giving her a good, thorough kiss. She let her hands flutter down to his chest, moving her finger slowly over his chest hair.
“What’s going to happen with us?” The question seemed to burst into the crisp air and add a heaviness to it that she hadn’t wanted to inject into the atmosphere. But she had to ask. It was like jerking that bedroom door open as quickly as possible. So she wouldn’t have time to build up hope there might be something wonderful on the other side, when it was just more of the same.
Things between them felt so light sometimes, but it was interspersed with this crazy sexual tension. And it had always been there for her. When Bennett had said it would be terrible if this was one-sided, she had nearly choked. Because it had been for her. For years. This horrible one-person torch that she carried, being reasonably certain Bennett would never carry a similar one for her.
And now he wanted her. But in spite of all the confidence she had given to Dallas earlier, she didn’t really feel quite so certain. Not because she didn’t trust Bennett, or their friendship, it was just... How could she ever go back to only being allowed to see him with clothes on? How could she ever pretend that they hadn’t done this?
“It’s going to be fine,” he said.
“Because you planned it?”
“Yeah,” he said, as if that made perfect sense.
“Sorry, Bennett, but given the way that your life has been running lately I don’t have the utmost confidence in the universe going along with your plans.”
“It’s going to be fine,” he reiterated.
She didn’t know how. But she didn’t press the issue as he continued to fold up the blankets and put them back in the cabinet. He collected his clothes, effectively covering her peep show.
“We can all have coffee together now,” she said.
Bennett grimaced, and they walked toward the house together. His knuckles brushed against hers, and she was tempted to grab on to his hand. But she didn’t know if that was okay. They were...sleeping with each other. But that didn’t mean they were also being physically affectionate in a casual sense. Maybe they were leaving behind the whole lover thing along with the blankets, folded up and put away in the barn cabinet until it was time to get them out again.
She shoved the impulse aside, took a deep breath and walked side by side with Bennett up the porch, their footsteps loud on the hollow wood. Bennett opened the door for her and she smiled slightly as they walked inside.
Dallas was still sitting at the table, looking far too amused for Kaylee’s comfort. And he had not made any coffee yet.
“If you want coffee, behave yourself,” Bennett said.
“Aww,” Dallas said, affecting a petulant-sounding tone. “Dad, that’s not fair.”
Then, he looked slightly stricken, as though he had just realized what he had called Bennett, even as a joke. She looked over at Bennett, whose face looked like it could have been carved from granite.
“How about that coffee?” he asked.
And they didn’t talk about anything serious for the rest of the morning.