Chapter 7
Christie spent the next few days off work. She felt violently sick and she didn’t want to deal with the way her heart was clenching in her chest. She didn’t hear anything back from Ace; he was ignoring her calls and leaving her in the dust. It had started out as a fun arrangement, so Christie wasn’t sure when it had turned into something more serious.
But it had. At least it had for her, and Christie was starting to wonder if it had ever meant more for him. Maybe it was just about the sex with him and he had never cared about her in a deeper sort of way.
He hadn’t let her into his life much, after all. She felt sick at pushing for that story, but she still desperately wanted to get it, get any sort of story that might help her keep her job. Time was ticking away and all she seemed to come up with were small time stories that meant nothing for the news network she worked for.
Taking the few days off allowed her to get to grips with everything she was feeling. The heartbreak was eating her up inside and she was feeling physically sick from it. She found herself running to the bathroom, dealing with the nausea that kept rising up inside her.
She felt miserable, and by the third day, she decided it was enough. She hauled herself to work in the morning and tried to ignore that she still felt like death.
By the third trip to the bathroom, Jane had come over to Christie’s desk. She was looking at her with concern, “Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah.” Christie sighed, “Just a rough time with a guy and work…”
Jane shook her head in sympathy, “Sorry to hear that. You look really sick, though. Are you sure you're OK?”
Christie shook her head, “I’ve been feeling sick for days now. Just a lot of stress, I guess.”
Jane nodded, but there was something suspicious in her eyes, like she didn’t quite believe Christie. When Christie pressed her about it, she just shrugged and tried to change the subject, “No, it’s nothing.” She insisted.
It was only a day later, when Christie had been sick again and the two discussed the matter further, that Jane pressed further. Jane didn't quite know how to raise the issue. “Okay, but you’re gonna be mad at me.”
Christie shook her head, “I won’t.”
Jane sighed, “Look, Christie…you’ve been seeing that guy for what…a month now?”
Christie nodded, “And I know that you guys have been having sex.” She sniggered before turning serious again, “So, my question for you is…did you guys use protection?”
Christie frowned as the implications hit her hard, “Of course we used condoms. So it's not that…”
Jane just gave her a look and nodded, “Okay, sweetheart.”
Jane didn’t say anything more on the matter but, alone at her desk, Christie couldn’t stop thinking about her words. She had been feeling so sick lately, nauseous when she woke, running to the bathroom, her emotions being all over the place.
She swallowed hard. They used a condom each time.. But then she began questioning herself. Didn't it slip off that one time? What if she was pregnant?
The thought of it had her running to the bathroom again. She felt sick. Perhaps if Ace and her will still seeing each other than the blow wouldn’t be so difficult to take. If he was with her then maybe he’d want the baby, maybe he’d want to be with her.
But he had walked away the other night and had not called her since. There was never any expectation of a relationship, so technically he had no obligation to stay with her. Christie felt shaky and sick all over. She knew already that she couldn’t bring herself to have an abortion.
Christie asked for the afternoon off, knowing that she was already pushing it with her boss, and raced to the pharmacy. She bought the test and hurried home to see the results. Alone in her apartment, it was with shaking hands that Christie opened the box and stepped into the bathroom. Waiting for the test to be ready seemed to take forever and she waited with baited breath, trying to calm her nerves. She didn’t know what to think or what to feel and the thought of checking the results was more than she could bear.
When she finally glanced down, she found herself staring at the test result. Positive. She was pregnant. The though echoed in her head, overwhelming her and seeping into her very bones.
She didn’t know what to feel. She felt numb. Of course, there was a feeling of sheer panic. Panic over so many things. She couldn’t go home with no job and pregnant with some man’s child who didn’t want anything to do with her But there was a strange, deep flickering of excitement in her chest, a nurturing feeling that she did not expect.
The pain in her chest at the thought of Ace was becoming overwhelming, but she couldn’t think of him now. She couldn’t do it. She knew she would have to tell him, but she needed to know that the baby and her would be okay, and for that, she needed to keep her job.
She couldn’t let anyone else know until she had secured a longer contract or it would be a disaster for her career. Christie took a deep breath and tried to stop the tears from welling up all over again. She was pregnant and she wanted Ace more than ever.
But she was sure that he didn't feel the same way.
Burying her head in her hands, Christie took a deep breath and resolved, right then and there, to do whatever she could, whatever it took, to take care of this baby and keep it safe, no matter who was there to help her.
She would have to make this work, no matter what.