“Hey, dad.” I sat down in the little chair beside his hospital bed and squeezed his hand. “What kind of trouble did you get into today?”

He had an oxygen mask over his face. He pulled it to the side. “They took me down to labor and delivery. There were ten newborns all delivered this morning.”

“Wow, that floor must have been hopping.”

“It was but one of the new fathers let me hold his son.”

“Aww, that is so sweet. Any cute names?” I’d had a sheet of paper that had possible baby names when, well, if I had kids. The jury was still out on that decision.

“Grady.”

“Oh, I like that one.” I reached up and moved his oxygen mask back over his mouth. “I can hear you fine with it on.”

He rolled his eyes. “I wish they would let me use the one that goes just in the nose.”

“I know, but they have a method to their madness in this place.”

“How was practice?”

“Good. I don’t know how much more I can take with Jake, though.”

“What will you do after everything?”

“Dad.”

“Come on, I want to know.”

He had insisted I talk to him like he was leaving soon. We didn’t say dying. It was a task I was not very good at. “I’ve been thinking about Las Vegas lately.”

“That would be a good move.”

“Yeah, closer to the action and maybe I could find a manager that meshes with me.”

“Lily honey, you will always have issues with your managers,” he said, squeezing my hand. “It’s just biology.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“There’s a gym there run by three brothers. You should it check out. The oldest brother I bet could help you.”

“What’s the name of the gym?”

“Fight It Out.”

“Charlie is going with me, so maybe we both can find someone to help us.”

“You two are inseparable.”

Just then Charlie peeked her head around the door. “Knock knock.”

“Speak of the devil,” I teased and ran over to give her hug.

“Devil. Who me?”

I had my index finger and thumb a quarter of an inch apart. “Just a little.”

“Not even.” She swatted at my arm. She stepped over to Dad and bent down to kiss his forehead. “Hey there, daddy-o. What’s shaking?”

“My left foot has been all day.”

I gasped and grabbed his foot. “Really? Did you tell your physical therapist?”

Charlie wrapped her arms around my body. “Sweetie, he was teasing.”

I looked between them both and pointed my finger at my dad. “Not funny.”

When I took Dad to the emergency room two weeks ago, we didn’t expect them to tell us he needed to be admitted to hospice that night. The doctor said the tumor had grown in size in just a matter of days, so it probably had not been there long. Since it was a fast-growing tumor, we all agreed treatment would be grueling and would have a fifty-fifty chance of working.

I practiced daily, so I stopped in to see Dad on the way to the gym and on the way home. Charlie made a point to stop by daily, too. The doctor didn’t know how much time we had left together; he said days most likely.

The last two days, Dad was in a good mood. Joking and smiling.

I was trying to soak up every last drop I had left with him.

“Lily.” I turned at the sound of my dad’s voice. “What do you think?”

“Huh? About what?”

“Told you she wasn’t paying attention.” Charlie giggled and squeezed my dad’s hand.

“I want sushi.”

“Oh, we can do that. Are we bringing you some?”

“I want to go to the restaurant.”

“I can ask the doctor,” I said and realized what they were implying. I turned my head to the side. “No, we are not escaping. We will tell them we’re going like adults.” Their shoulders slumped at the same time, and Charlie sported her puppy-dog expression perfectly. I pointed my index finger in their direction. “You both suck.”

We didn’t end up escaping in the normal climb through a tunnel fashion, but I did notify the front desk we were going no matter what. They were amazing and equipped us with an oxygen tank, wheelchair, and even went over a few instructions.

I knew they would understand the importance of this outing.

My dad had a favorite sushi spot that was about a mile from his house. They knew his name and what he liked to order every day of the week. Since today was Saturday, he apparently liked Pho. Seemed simple enough.

“Want to change things up and get sushi tonight?”

“Maybe. Eel does sound good tonight.”

“How about two caterpillar rolls?” Charlie moaned beside me. “Guess Charlie approves.”

We sat there for about an hour, enjoying the food and laughing.

Out of the blue, my dad looked at Charlie. “You promise to take care of my Lily for me?”

Charlie had a piece of the sushi almost to her lips when my dad asked the question. She set her food back down on the little plate. “Dad, I will never leave Lily’s side. I give you my word.”

“Good,” he said, grabbing another piece of sushi. “That’s good.”

I looked over at Charlie and noticed her normal strong features cracking. The corner of her lip was quivering. I reached over and squeezed her thigh. “Dad, guess who we saw on TV the other night?”

Charlie cleared her throat. “Yeah, really random.”

“Who? Conor McGregor?”

That was always his answer when we mentioned something about TV. He knew I was not a huge fan of him. “No,” I rolled my eyes. “Julian Moore.” At the mention of Julian’s name, my dad went still. “Didn’t you say you knew him?”

“We crossed paths, but nothing extensive.”

His answer seemed odd, but I didn’t have any reason to doubt him. “He looks yoked up now. It’s crazy how different he looks.”

“And he’s still dreamy,” Charlie purred.

I shoved at her shoulders. “Keep it together, girl.”

My dad cleared his throat. “That gym I was telling you about?” I nodded. “Julian and his brothers run the gym.”

“Oh, so you know him pretty well?”

“No, like I said, we’ve crossed paths.”

Now I knew my dad was hiding something.

Two days later…

“I’m sorry to bother you, Miss Adams. You need to come quickly, it’s your father.”

The nurse on the other end sounded sad. I bolted up from my bed and threw on a pair of leggings sitting in the middle of the floor. I turned around in a circle looking for the nearest shirt. There was one hanging on a rack. After dressing in record time, I stopped and stood there in the middle of the room. I took in a few deep breaths and let myself get mentally prepared for the drive over to the hospital.

When I left my dad for the evening, he seemed off. His blood pressure was up and down all day. His mood had gone from happy to confused in just a matter of hours. Before I left, I stopped at the nurses’ station and asked about his emotions and if what he was experiencing was normal. Apparently it was all part of the process.

My hand was wrapped around my phone when it vibrated, startling me. “Yes?”

“Lils.”

It was Charlie. “Hey, you coming over to the hospital with me?”

“I can be there in forty-five minutes.”

“Okay, hurry.”

It took me all of five minutes to get to the hospital. When I stepped into his room, the air was sucked out of me. He was hooked up to several machines, and he looked unresponsive. I turned to go find a nurse and collided with one at that moment. “Oh crap, I’m sorry.”

“Lily, I’m glad you’re here.”

“Is he awake at all?”

“Just barely. He keeps asking for you.”

“Um, okay. Thank you.”

“If you need anything, let me know.”

Turning back toward my dad, I took in a deep breath and found a way to put one foot in front of the other. As I stepped up beside him, I felt my body shake. The last several weeks had felt normal. Maybe too normal. I had let myself enjoy that and stay in the house of denial for a while. Tonight, I felt like denial was telling me to grow a pair. I needed to get with the program.

I sat down on the side of the bed and reached for his hand. “Hi, Daddy.”

He slowly opened his eyes. You could see the corners of his eyes crease as he squeezed my hand. He mumbled something. I pushed the mask to the side and leaned up next to his mouth. “I love you, baby.”

His words caught me off guard. I rested my head on his chest and continued to try to be strong. I’m not sure who I was being strong for, me or my dad?

He tapped my shoulder.

“Yeah, Dad?”

“Promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“Don’t you stop fighting for what you want.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“Good, that’s good,” he whispered and closed his eyes.

“It’s okay, Daddy. Just let go. Mom’s waiting for you.” The words fell from my lips, but I struggled to believe them. His warm hand was holding mine tightly. Then I realized I was the only one keeping our hands clasped together.

The room began to spin, and my mind became clouded with memories from my childhood. When my dad would lift me high up in the air so I could soar like an airplane. Or the first time he took me to the gym because school had let out early, and the babysitter was not available.

I looked at his now still face and wondered how I could do this all on my own. How I was supposed to hold my promise to go pro without him by my side.

There was a click and then the door to the hospital room slowly opened. The nurse stepped in and gave me a small smile. “Lily, is it okay to come in?”

“Um, yeah,” I said, unsure of anything at the moment. Taking in a deep breath, I stood and bent down to kiss my dad’s cheek. “I love you so much.”

My dad loved the San Francisco 49ers football team. He had season tickets and never missed a game. Before leaving the room, I grabbed his lucky 49ers baseball cap and held it close to my chest. If I couldn’t have him, at least I had something that could bring me luck.

Luck. That seemed funny to me at the moment. Luck didn’t keep my mom alive so many years ago, and luck sure as hell didn’t keep my dad alive.

The moment I stepped out of the hospital room, it felt like my body was working on its own. I was unable to process what had happened. More like, I didn’t want to process it. Just then warm arms wrapped around me. Charlie.

“Oh, sweetie, I’m here.”

“Charlie. I—”

“Lils, it’s okay, I have you.”