Yori cried out, “Are you insane? How the hell are you going to do that? No craft can get in and out of there without a lot of Federation stamps and—”
Jessica’s brain whirled with possibilities. She interrupted him by saying, “Yori, you could get those stamps.”
Yori slumped into the chair. His face went paler still. “You’re both insane!”
Jessica was afraid he might be right, but she was also sure that Talon might be right too. “There is no better captain in the universe. He’s the best, and he wrecks ships and kills Gorlites all the time. He’s fierce, and he’s brave, and he’s willing to help. Don’t say no, Yori. Just get the stamps so we can get this done, and today because we only have a matter of hours before this world ends, really.”
He was fierce and brave, and she loved him so very much. That hurt but she had to admit it. Talon felt nothing for her beyond whatever loyalty and belonging he bestowed upon his crew. She was his crew. She was nothing more, no matter how good that sex had been and no matter how her heartfelt.
Yori asked, “Can you really break into a prison?”
Talon said, “I escaped a mining planet. I don’t see how this can be much different.”
Yori blew out an audible breath. His fingers toyed with the blaster. “If I saw you, and I did, you had better believe others saw you, too, Jessica. You have to go under; you can’t stay above.”
Her lips flattened. “How will I get the stamps?’
Yori ran a hand through his thick hair, and her heart twisted once more. Once upon a time, she would have done anything for Yori, and he would have done anything for her. They had fancied themselves in love, but that had ended. Not painfully or with recrimination. They had just realized that what they loved most about each other was that they saw themselves reflected in each other and that that was not a good enough reason to remain a couple.
“I’ll get them to the banquelle in the next two hours. Listen to me right now. If they don’t reach you, run. If I get caught, and I just might because this is …you do know what I will have to do to get those stamps and the risks I am going to have to take. You also know I won’t be taken to prison. I will be killed on sight to save face.”
Talon asked, “Save face?”
“His father’s the Federation head of this city,” Jessica said softly. “He is an above grounder.”
Talon’s hand rested on her arm, warm and strong and it felt so right there that she wanted to weep and tell him not to touch her if he didn’t mean it, if he didn’t want her as much as she wanted him because his touch, so right and so perfect, was also a perfect torment.
Talon asked, “Can we trust you?”
Yori’s eyes rested on Jessica’s face. She sighed. “Yes, we can. He’s risked his life more than once, and he knows the odds.”
Yori stood. The blaster was once again in his hands. He said, “You can’t stay here. It isn’t safe. They do periodic sweeps, and we don’t want to be here when they do. Take the grate from anywhere but where you entered and for God’s sake go right below. Be careful at the tenth because they have IMN guards there now and you won’t pass, not with him in tow.”
Talon asked, “IMN?”
“Interplanetary Migration Nodules. They scan every face and heat register. They’ll know you are an alien and aliens do not go below. Not unless they have citizen chips or pass papers to visit family.”
“I see.”
Jessica gave Yori one last look. “I’ll be there,” was all she said because, really, what else was there to say?
Yori departed. Talon’s fingers met her arm. “We have to go.”
“I know. I am trying to think. If we take the tunnels again, we can break into the Eighth but to do that we’d have to go low, and that means the terra rats.”
He spoke. “If that is safer, then that is how we go.”
She swallowed back sickness. She had learned how to control her fear of those wretched creatures because to do otherwise meant death, but it had been a very long time since she had had to go past them, and even up high on the ropes she often felt fear. Even carrying weapons did not always keep her from being afraid of those toothed and hungry mutants.
Talon asked, “Which way, Jessica?”
“This way; the opposite of how we came in.” She set off, her head high and her mind opening in a fear trap, something else Yori had taught her to do. When she had been fifteen, and he had been twenty-two, he had brought her down to the tunnels and forced her to walk past pack after pack of terra rats to prove to her that her fear could be contained.
God how she wished she could still love him, and forget her traitorous heart that wanted Talon so much. Yori was hard to love too though, and so was she.
Maybe that was the real problem. Maybe she made it impossible for any being to love her.