Chapter 15
Zev woke before Jonah the following morning. His arm was wrapped around Jonah’s chest, Jonah’s arm was draped over his waist, and their legs were tangled together. He licked and kissed Jonah’s neck, tenderly caressed his back, and rubbed his calf up and down Jonah’s muscular leg.
With his eyes still closed, Jonah whispered, “If I believed in a deity of any kind, I’d be thanking her right now.”
“Why’s that?” Zev brushed his lips over Jonah’s.
“For bringing you into my life.” Jonah’s eyes fluttered open, the dark gaze landing on Zev. “There isn’t another person alive who turns me on like you do, or makes me laugh so freely, or challenges me in the same way intellectually. There’s nobody with your integrity and compassion.” Jonah traced Zev’s eyebrow with one fingertip. “Bottom line—nobody comes close to matching up to you, Zev.” Sadness flooded Jonah’s face right before he buried it in the base of Zev’s neck.
So how could I possibly have thought it was a good idea to risk this by picking up strangers in bars and bringing them home?
Tightening his grip around Jonah, Zev said, “It’s okay. Being apart from each other is really hard, and you’re going through a lot right now.” He kissed the top of Jonah’s head. “I’m not going to say I’m happy about what you did, but I do understand. I don’t hold it against you, Blondie.” His throat thickened, making his voice sound rougher as he finished. “What we have goes way too deep for a few moments of desperation to get in the way.”
Jonah nodded in acknowledgement. “You know me so well. You practically read my mind just now.”
Zev froze, thinking about whether Jonah had been talking out loud.
“You’re so damn sexy, Hassick.” Strong hands roamed over his chest, distracting him. “Have I ever told you how much I enjoy this silky hair?” Jonah ran his fingers through the hair on Zev’s chest and rubbed his cheek against Zev’s heavily whiskered jaw. “Or how sexy you are in the morning before you shave? All rough and tumble.”
Unable to resist his mate, Zev grasped Jonah’s head and slammed their mouths together. Sharp need robbed him of finesse so the kiss was ferocious. He breached Jonah’s mouth with his tongue, ground his erection against Jonah’s, and then flipped them over so he pinned Jonah to the bed.
“I want you.” Zev’s voice sounded gruff to his own ears but Jonah didn’t seem to mind.
His nostrils flared and body trembled as he rasped, “Anything, Zev. Take anything you want.” Jonah spread his legs, leaving himself completely open and available.
Zev moaned and kissed Jonah again, hard and desperate. Then he crawled up Jonah’s body until he straddled Jonah’s chest. He caressed Jonah’s jaw and traced his lips. “Tilt your head back and open up for me.”
Jonah complied, licking his lips and opening his mouth widely.
Zev didn’t waste time. He guided his dick into Jonah’s waiting mouth, then supported himself by placing both hands on the wall behind the bed. He slowly pushed his way past Jonah’s welcoming lips, enjoying the warmth and wetness, the tongue darting around him.
Looking down, Zev saw himself sliding deep into Jonah’s wet, eager mouth. He saw the blissful, adoring expression as Jonah looked up at him. Then he began a slow rhythm, pumping past those stretched lips, reminding himself and Jonah of his strength, of the fact that he could take care of Jonah. Of the fact that the man was his. His. Nothing and no one could change that.
“Do you feel me, Jonah? Feel my cock deep in your mouth?”
Jonah couldn’t respond verbally, his mouth was too full, but Zev could see his agreement in his eyes. He could practically hear his mate’s “yes” in his mind.
“I’m going deeper, Jonah. Going in all the way. Gonna remind you where you belong.”
And with those words, Zev knew he really could hear Jonah in his head, answering him with moans and exuberant agreement. He let go of any restraint and let his body claim what was his—his mate. He rocked his hips forward and back, filling Jonah’s throat, then pulling back and dragging his cockhead against the other man’s tongue, only to push back in again.
In and out he went, not slowing down, just pushing into his mate, feeling the pleasure wash over him and take him higher and higher, until he was at the edge of the precipice.
“Gonna come now. Wanna taste me, Jonah?”
Oh, God, yes. Please!
The words weren’t spoken, obviously, since Jonah had his mouth full. But they were still communicating, their mental link stronger than ever. That knowledge—that he was so in tune with his mate, despite the fact they hadn’t yet tied, despite the distance, despite…the rest of it—excited Zev even further.
“Now, Jonah. Now!” Zev shouted as he pulled his cock out so just the crown was in Jonah’s mouth. He wrapped his hand around the base to keep himself steady and threw his head back as he let go and released his pleasure into Jonah’s mouth.
He remained leaning against the wall with one hand, the other stroking Jonah’s cheek as he continued to suckle on his softening cock, a reverent expression on his face. Eventually, he slid down Jonah’s body, noticing with satisfaction that the other man’s stomach was wet with his own release. When his big frame blanketed Jonah, he cupped his mate’s cheeks and looked deep into his eyes.
“Mine.”
Jonah whimpered and nodded before closing his eyes and falling asleep.
After resting together for a short time, they forced themselves out of bed and took turns in the shower. When Jonah got out, Zev was standing naked in the bathroom, leaning over the sink and shaving. He looked so damn big, so damn strong, so damn hot.
“So what’s the plan for today?”
Jonah pressed his naked body against Zev’s, enjoying the skin-on-skin contact.
“Mmm. You feel good,” Zev said as he dropped the razor, turned around and took Jonah’s cock into his hand and squeezed it, causing blood to immediately flow in that direction. “Lori and Toby want to hang out with you. I need to meet a few clients in the morning, but I should be done in time to meet you guys for a late lunch. That work?”
The entire time he spoke, Zev caressed Jonah’s dick with one hand and his ass with the other. Every conversation should feel that good.
“Mmm hmm. That works.”
They got dressed at a snail’s pace because neither man could keep his hands off the other. Whether it was goofing around with tickles or pinches, petting with tenderness, or kissing with arousal, Jonah was sufficiently distracted to forget all about the fact that Lori was probably still mad at him. It wasn’t until he was knocking on the hotel room door that the memory of the previous night’s interaction with Lori hit him like a bucket of cold water and wiped the smile from his face.
The door swung open. Toby stepped out and pulled the door shut behind him.
“Hey, man. It’s been too long,” Jonah said and reached over for a hug.
Toby shrugged him off.
“I’m starved. Is there a breakfast place around here? Someplace that makes good steak and eggs?”
Jonah noticed the chill from Toby and figured that Lori had told her husband about what had happened the night before. Toby quickly walked toward the elevator.
“Aren’t we waiting for Lori?” Jonah asked.
Toby didn’t turn around as he answered. “Nah, she isn’t coming. We’ll meet up with her later today.”
Great. Lori was too pissed to see him and Toby was like Antarctica. Jonah still wasn’t completely sure why they were so angry, given the fact that Zev hadn’t told anyone back home about their relationship. Well, there was one option; his old friends weren’t comfortable with him being gay. Tough shit.
Jonah figured the best way to deal with the situation was to face it head on. But as soon as they got into Jonah’s car, Toby started fiddling with the radio. Jonah decided to bide his time and wait for Toby to finish what he was doing so they could talk. He almost lost his composure when the other man landed on a Barry Manilow song and kept it there. Toby had to be the only Fanilow under the age of fifty.
“So I’m guessing Lori told you about that guy in my apartment last night.”
Toby’s posture immediately stiffened. Several long moments passed before he answered.
“Yeah, she did.”
“Anything you want to ask me about it, Toby? Might as well get it out there. No reason to walk on eggshells around each other.”
“Ooookay,” Toby responded, drawing out the word. He took a deep breath and turned to face Jonah. “Did you stumble across a clearance sale on jackass cream or something? Maybe they were running a special on lobotomies?”
Well, that was an unexpected response.
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“What I mean, Jonah…” Toby said in a louder voice, “is that I know we’re all just a couple of bad decisions away from being one of those weirdos who buys fake nuts and hangs them on the back of his pickup truck, but you really managed to win the stupid cake last night.”
Okay, this conversation wasn’t going exactly how Jonah had planned, but he still felt the need to defend himself.
“Stupid? Why? Because I’m gay? That’s not a bad decision, Toby. It’s not a decision at all.”
Jonah pulled into a parking lot of a decent diner, turned off the car, and twisted to face Toby. The conversation was tense and awkward, but at least Toby’s atrocious music no longer made Jonah’s ears bleed. Jonah would have preferred hearing his car engine drop out and drag across the asphalt than another cheesy ballad.
“No shit, Sherlock. But cheating on Zev is a decision. A really bad decision.”
Jonah’s mouth dropped open, and he snapped his eyes toward Toby in shock. Holy crap. Toby knew about his relationship with Zev. That meant Lori knew. As much as he hated being hidden from Zev’s family and life back in Etzgadol, Jonah didn’t want the man to be forced out against his will.
“You know?”
“Know what?”
“About, um, me and Zev?”
Toby rolled his eyes.
“Of course I know. Just because I was blessed in the looks department doesn’t mean I was shorted anything upstairs. I’m not an idiot, Jonah.”
“Yeah, and you’re not lacking in the ego department, either. Listen, Toby, you can’t tell anyone. Zev isn’t ready for his family to know he’s gay.”
“Honestly, Jonah, it feels like we’re living in two different worlds. Zev came out to his family years ago. Not long after you moved away, actually.”
Jonah was left momentarily speechless by that bit of news.
“But he told me that he couldn’t tell his family about us.”
Toby’s face softened. He cleared his throat.
“Oh, yeah. Well, that’s true. If he’d have told them about you, they’d have seriously lost their shit. But Lori and I figured out the deal with the two of you. We won’t tell anyone, though. No worries about that.”
Jonah nodded. It made a strange kind of sense. Telling your parents you’re gay and telling them you’re actually dating a guy are two different things. Even though Zev hadn’t told his parents they were together, Jonah was still relieved to hear that his friend had come out of the closet and his home life hadn’t come to an end as a result.
Toby took a deep breath, distracting Jonah from his thoughts.
“Listen, Jonah, I know we haven’t talked in a few years, but we’ve known each other a long time and you’re family. You’ve always been a good guy. Someone I trusted. But the way you were acting last night, I have to assume that you misplaced your moral compass when you moved away or something, because the Jonah I knew never would’ve betrayed Zev.”
Jonah winced at the words. Toby was right. He’d made a mistake. He felt like he owed Toby an explanation, but he didn’t know how to give it.
“I know, Toby. Look, it’s hard to explain what happened. You wouldn’t understand.”
Toby crossed his arms over his chest. “I understand a lot more than you realize, Jonah. Try me.”
Toby seemed calmer than he’d been previously, now sitting quietly and waiting for Jonah to talk.
“I don’t take Zev for granted, Toby. I spent way too many years wanting him to forget just how lucky I am that he wants me too. Zev’s wonderful, but he’s also really old-fashioned, you know?”
Toby snorted. “Zev? Are you kidding? He’s probably the most progressive guy I know.”
“Not in all things,” Jonah muttered under his breath.
“What things are you talking about?”
“You heard that?”
“I have great hearing.”
Jonah shrugged. “Yeah, so does Zev.” He took a breath and tried to figure out what to say without making Toby uncomfortable. He turned to look at Toby. “Did you and Lori have sex before you got married?”
“Married?” Toby snorted. “Lori and I had sex before we got out of high school.”
Jonah leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.
“Well, there you go. Zev won’t. Have sex with me, I mean. Not until I’m done with my residency and move back to Etzgadol. And I know it shouldn’t matter, but it does.” He said the last part quietly.
“He won’t have sex with you?” Toby’s tone was disbelieving.
“Well, he’ll have sex with me, but he won’t, you know, have sex with me.”
Jonah hoped Toby understood what he meant, because explaining the ins and outs of gay sex to Zev was one thing, but he wasn’t prepared to do it with Toby. Etzgadol seriously needed to come into the twenty-first century. How all these people could be so sheltered was inconceivable. Weird religion or not.
“Oh, I see. Well, that makes sense.”
He seriously doubted Toby understood what he meant.
“No, it doesn’t make sense. Men can have sex with each other, Toby.”
“Oh, save it, Mr. High and Mighty. You’re not the first gay man I’ve met. I get the basics.”
Well, that was good news. Maybe Toby had broadened his horizons when he left Etzgadol to go to nursing school. Although, from what Jonah knew about the town in which Toby had studied, it was just as small and rural as their hometown. It seemed like Toby shared Zev’s aversion to metropolitan areas.
“You have gay friends in Etzgadol?”
Toby shook his head.
“Gay uncle. I’ve spent a good bit of time with him and his, er, husband.”
Huh. Jonah didn’t remember Zev ever mentioning Toby’s uncle. Maybe Zev didn’t know about the man. He forced himself to focus on their conversation.
“Okay, then, how does Zev not having sex with me make sense? You just said you’ve been sleeping with Lori since high school. You went to nursing school out of state, so clearly that didn’t stop you.”
“That’s different, Jonah. My relationship with Lori isn’t like your relationship with Zev.”
Jonah wasn’t surprised, he was just tired. Of course Toby would see the relationships as different. Two men couldn’t possibly feel about each other the way a man feels about a woman. Apparently having a gay uncle couldn’t change that type of thinking.
“Right. Because we’re gay. Our relationship can’t be as meaningful as yours,” he responded sarcastically.
“No,” Toby replied, looking straight into Jonah’s eyes with a somber expression. “What you have with Zev is much deeper.”
Jonah’s mouth dropped open, and he stared at Toby. As long as Jonah had known the other man, he’d had a thing for Lori, and, as far as Jonah knew, they were very happy together.
“Last night when we came to your place, Zev flipped out. Did you know that?” Toby said.
Jonah shook his head. He’d been sitting in his bedroom and hadn’t heard a thing.
“Well, he did. He lost it and ran outside. I followed him and caught up to him in the alley. He’d punched a hole in the side of your apartment building, and he was kneeling on the ground, vomiting and crying.”
Jonah’s heart broke. So that was how Zev had acquired those injured knuckles. He didn’t want to hear any more.
“I didn’t know what the hell was wrong,” Toby continued. “I couldn’t get him to come inside and I didn’t want to leave him out there alone. Once his stomach was empty, he just kept dry heaving and shaking. Eventually Lori came out and told me what’d been going on before we got there.” Toby glared at Jonah. “I wanted to go upstairs and kick your ass myself when I heard there’d been another man in your bedroom. You wanna know what stopped me?”
Jonah couldn’t bring himself to respond. He was still thinking about Zev crying on the street. The man was always so strong, so steady and confident. He’d never seen Zev cry, and the knowledge that he’d caused that level of pain made Jonah feel sick.
“I knew that if I so much as looked at you crosswise, Zev would’ve crippled me. No matter what you’d done to him.” Toby’s voice got louder and more agitated as he kept speaking. “Zev deserves better than this. Do you have any idea how hard things are for him? He puts up with endless shit because he’s waiting for you to finish your education, and this is how you treat him?”
Jonah shook his head.
“No, I…I…”
“You think he’s being old-fashioned. I guess it can seem that way. But believe me when I tell you that he wants the same thing you want, uh, as far as sex goes. He’s just strong enough to be patient. Zev is the most powerful shi…person I know, physically and mentally. If you want to be with him, Jonah, it’s time you stepped up to the plate and showed the same strength.”
“I get it, Toby. I was a weak, selfish asshole. It won’t happen again.”
Toby dragged his fingers through his hair, and Jonah could see him relax slightly.
“Glad to hear it. Because if you don’t get your shit together, man, I’m going to gift wrap it, slap a big, ugly bow on top, and send it to you for your birthday.”
Jonah nodded. There was nothing else to say. They got out of the car and started walking toward the diner. Out of the corner of his eye, Jonah noticed a man standing in the shadows of the building, staring at them. He was tall and fit, with cafe au lait skin and jet-black hair.
“You know that guy?” Jonah tilted his head in the direction where the man was standing.
Toby looked over. He froze for several long moments before the dark-haired man gave a brisk nod, then walked farther into the shadows and out of sight. Toby turned back to Jonah and draped an arm over his shoulder.
“Hey, who do you think wins in a challenge, Superman or the Incredible Hulk?” Toby asked.
Jonah chuckled. He’d missed Toby. It was nice to be with his old friend again. He was so happy they were back on solid ground that he barely noticed the fact that his question hadn’t been answered.