I’ve been lying awake for a while in what looks like a real hospital bed. A hospital means people will help you.
Have I been saved?
Did Boxer find me?
There is a small light dimmed above my bed. The rest of the room is in the shadows. A medical machine monitors my vital signs, and the IV bag is full of goodies to make me feel better. If I stay calm, the monitor won’t alert the medical people and they won’t come charging in.
Think, Whisper.
What is the last thing you remember?
I concentrate, and my thoughts slowly come back to me. There was the man with the mask and beard, and we were on a plane.
Am I safe, or am I still in danger? Boxer or Miss Catherine would be here in this room if I were safe. They wouldn’t leave me.
I’m back in survival mode and thinking of how I’m going to escape. I look around the small room for any clothes because I’m only wearing a hospital-issued thin gown.
Not good enough.
My shoulder is sore but manageable. Whoever fixed me did a good job.
I’m about to pull the covers back and swing my legs over the side of the bed to test my strength when the door starts to open. I close my eyes and shut myself down, keeping my breathing even and relaxed.
Please be Boxer or Miss Catherine, I silently pray as I hear one set of soft footsteps approaching my bed, and then I am gently checked over.
“I know you are awake,” an American female voice whispers in my ear. I must have given myself away with all the prodding. “We have only a couple minutes alone before Mathias joins me.”
Who is Mathias?
My eyes shoot open and a pretty brunette in her thirties is watching me. I can see out of the eye that had been swollen shut. “I’m your doctor.” She tries to give me a smile, but it doesn’t quite make it to her eyes. “I will talk and you listen if you want to have any chance at all.”
I can only lie here blinking at her. What is she saying? Is she going to help me?
She pulls the bed covers back. “I’m going to remove the catheter from between your legs.” She goes about her business quickly and efficiently, helping me into a pair of paper underwear before placing the thing she took out of me into a bin.
“If you want to live, you will find your inner strength and you will run. I’ll do the best I can to give you time,” she whispers, placing the covers back over me. “You are supposed to be moved in a few hours.” She shakes her head, tears welling in her eyes. “I can’t do this anymore.” She swipes them away and composes herself, all the time keeping her voice a hushed whisper.
I’m very confused about what she is saying to me. She mentioned running.
“I’ll make sure you are given time to escape.”
Escape?
She releases my finger from the clip it is held in and turns off the monitor beside me. “I’ll do my best to keep the skeleton staff here tonight occupied for as long as I can. There won’t be a guard on your door. I’ll handle that. Be as quiet as you can. Remove the IV needle first and apply pressure for as long as you can, but keep moving. Slippers are in the closet and you already have knee-high compression stockings on. Use the blanket on your bed for warmth wrapping it around your head to help keep your heat in.
“That’s all you’ve got until you can find somebody to help you. You are very weak, you shouldn’t be doing this, but you have no choice if you want a chance at surviving.”
I want to ask her questions, but time is valuable. I need to stay silent and listen to her. My gut tells me I can believe this woman’s words.
She stays still listening intently and then she quickly moves the chair over to the heavy curtain and peeks behind it. Satisfied, she stands on the chair, sliding her hand into her white coat pocket, pulling a small key out. Her hand moves behind the curtain and I hear a soft click.
The doctor hurries down, placing the chair back where she found it, and comes back over to me and picks up my chart. She starts writing in it as she talks in barely audible tones. “I will deny helping you if you get caught. I will be killed if they know, but I have to try. That window is the only way you will escape, and we are on the ground floor. I cannot help you any more than this. Find help quickly. You’re not strong enough to make it far in the freezing cold weather. You need to head off—” She quiets down as the door handle turns.
I shut my eyes and focus on keeping myself still as she keeps writing things down. I have to place my trust in this person and take this lifeline she is offering me. I found help last time with Miss Catherine; I can do it again.
I have to believe that.
“Doc, how is she?” The man with the accent has arrived. I can feel his gaze drilling into me. I feel like I’m about to give myself away. I push my mind to the remote place that kept me countless times from being further exposed to William’s torment when he entered my room to check if I was awake. He never touched me when he thought I was asleep.
“Hello, Mathias. She has a strong will to live. Let her fully regain consciousness and then I’ll sign her out to you. Her wound looks good, and she’s stabilized. ”
She called him Mathias. Masked bearded man is Mathias.
“She wouldn’t have lasted much longer if you hadn’t gotten her to me when you did. The girl should be awake within the next eight hours. She’s been through a lot and her body shut down, needing time to heal.”
“She’s been here too many days already. I don’t have the luxury of waiting that long.”
“I’m the doctor, and my opinion should count for something. I get paid well to mend those he deems worthy. When she wakes up, she is all yours.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Please… I would never sign somebody out who wasn’t conscious. It goes against what I stand for as a doctor.”
“You should have thought of that before you went on the payroll,” he growls at her.
“Please… you can see she’s weak.” The doctor is doing her best to convince him.
“I said I’ll think about it.” Mathias isn’t happy about her request. I have an itch to see if he’s wearing the mask.
“You’ve virtually not slept the whole time she’s been here. You need to rest too. She isn’t going anywhere. Hell, lie down yourself for a couple of hours. She is out of danger, and you are dead on your feet. I’ll wake you, Mathias, if there are any changes.”
I hear an exhausted sigh like he’s made his mind up. “I do need some sleep,” he admits to the doctor.
I can hear their footsteps as she guides him away from my bed and toward the door.
“You can use my bed five doors down. It will be quiet, and I’ll wake you in two hours. You won’t miss anything in here. She’s my only patient, so there won’t be any other activity.”
I hear the door open and close and their voices get farther away.
I open my good eye, peeking through my lashes, just to be sure I’m alone, and then I feel for the IV needle and carefully slide it out of my vein while applying pressure using part of my gown, bending my arm toward myself.
The doctor is hopefully keeping her word and covering for me, giving me the valuable time I needed. I had to believe I could get out that window without somebody storming the room.
I knew my escape was based purely on a wing and a prayer.
I slide my feet onto the floor, measuring how well balanced I am. I feel steady enough when I place all my weight on them and move slowly toward the closet, where I find a pair of white slippers and slide them onto my feet.
I grab the blanket off the bed and move over to the window area, carefully peeking behind the curtain. It is dark outside. I’m only going to get one shot at this. I wrap the blanket around my body, using some of it as a hood over my head as instructed.
The window quietly glides up without difficulty. The freezing cold air hits me and I gasp out in shock, small white puffs of breath floating in front of my face. I have no time to worry about the temperature. It’s now or never. I climb out the window, careful of my injured shoulder, and land with a soft thunk as I sink into a few inches of cold ground.
Snow?
I’ve been flown to a place that snows?
I’ve never felt snow. It isn’t soft; it crunches. It’s also wet and really cold.
Instinct to hide has me heading straight for the shelter of the trees ahead, where I seek anonymity using them for protection as I try to get some bearings for the direction I should be fleeing. I have no idea which way I should go. I have never been out of Connard. I feel anxious and desperate and very alone.
There are two soft beams of light coming off the roof of the building from spotlights. I look around and notice a sign. A park backs up to the building I was in. I decide to head through it, wrapping the blanket tighter around me, and make my way through the freezing cold night, the high, full moon guiding me with its silver light.
I’ve been walking for several minutes and the shadows frighten me. There is nobody about. It feels too dangerous for me to be walking around in here. It’s not lit up, just me and the trees. I make the decision to turn around and go back to find another way to somebody who can help me.
I come back around to the trees near the building and stand shivering behind one and listen. It is so quiet. I can’t hear any cars or people noise. I move around to the side of the building, keeping to the shadows. I can make out parked cars ahead covered in a thin layer of snow, and once I take the time to look up toward the sky, I can see there is a city lit up with tall buildings farther down the road.
My teeth are starting to chatter, and I try to ignore how wet and burning with cold my feet and legs feel as they are subjected to the subzero temperature. I make a run for it, hiding myself between the sparsely parked cars. The snow is thinner here, so I can move a little faster. I take a quick look back at the building I was in. It is a printing business, so the sign says.
I keep moving, careful not to slip and do myself any more harm. This is my only chance for freedom, and the universe granted me this small mercy. Nobody is chasing after me. This is a good sign. I keep myself hidden as best I can, and then I walk out onto a quiet street and make my way around a corner, hoping to meet a kind soul who will help me.
I try lightly jogging, which is more of a fast-paced walk, as I hold my arm against my chest, trying not to jolt my shoulder any more than necessary.
Somewhere along the way, I have lost both slippers, and I hadn’t even noticed because my mind was occupied and thinking about freedom.
I keep at a steady pace, excited for my freedom. I have managed to get away from Mathias. I’m breathing heavily from the exertion on my body, but I am facing liberty head on, and nothing will stop me from moving. I keep hurrying along at my steady pace down the sporadically lit street, when I hit a particularly slippery patch of ice on the pavement and go down hard, landing on my bad side. I swallow the scream creeping out of me and smother it by covering my mouth with the blanket.
I feel stitches tearing, but I get right back up, ignoring the pain, and make it past another block. I can’t go back to being a prisoner. I’m shaking uncontrollably, but I push on. I am free, and I need to keep it that way.
There has to be a kind person like Miss Catherine, who will help me. I have to believe somebody will assist me. The streets are still quiet, so it must be late evening. I can see more lights ahead; it is busier. My heart jumps with joy. There are people crossing a road parallel to the road I am on. I tug the blanket down over my head tighter, trying to keep the freezing weather at bay, but it’s simply too cold outside to keep my body heat contained inside it.
I’m making my way to another crossing when I nearly bump into two people who are walking around the corner and talking. I almost stop to ask for help, when I recognize the accent of one of the voices. I keep my head down and make it across the road when I hear, “What the fuck?”
I start flat out running, my blanket discarded. I just need to get to those people as fast as my body will take me.
The other person shouts out that he will get me, and I hear the click of a gun being reloaded.
Mathias shouts out to the other man, “No, Kane! Not necessary. Put your weapon down. I’ll get her. This is child’s play.” Then I hear fast footsteps chasing me.
I have to make it.
I need help, but nobody is coming up this street. They are all walking parallel to my street, their heads down, huddled in their warm clothing against the freezing cold night.
Boxer has trained me well. I can normally run fast, and I’m giving it my all with my arms pumping hard as I ignore the pain. My legs are pounding the ground and I’m praying I don’t slip again.
I can’t slip again.
I’ve made it a block closer to the people, but it isn’t going to be enough. I refuse to make it easy for Mathias to catch me.
I have to try.
I put everything I have into reaching these people before a pathetic squeal escapes me as I’m taken down. I expect to feel the ice cold ground smashed up against my face, but I’m rolled at the last second and he takes the full impact of our fall on an ooph. He then spits out several words in his language, which sound like he’s cursing me to the devil.
And then his mouth is smashed into my ear, as he snarls in English, “You fucking little idiot.”
I can’t move, because his arms have me caged in, so I let my head rest on his chest as I try to get my breath back, and my body shakes for so many reasons. From the cold, the pain, my fear, and beyond any of those things, my loss of freedom. I am so fucking mad at Mathias and these people.
I am indeed a coo yon, a stupid person.
And then something snaps inside me. I’ve had enough. “You… you are the fucking idiot for being a minion to whoever your Master is.” I slam my head back against his chest, pounding it as hard as I can. “I am not the fucking little idiot for wanting to be free, for wanting to be happy, for wanting to be left alone, so don’t fucking-little-idiot me.” I don’t know where that outburst came from, but now I’m spent. My heart is beating too fast and I need to calm down. I want to be fearless in front of these people.
How is Boxer going to find me now?
I feel like I have nothing to lose anymore, because how am I going to be saved when he has no clue where I am?
When he goes completely still underneath me, my gut instinct has the good grace to pay attention. I expect him to roll me over and strike me for my insolence and for escaping.
I wait.
But nothing happens, and then he moves a little bit, and the next words he says shock and confuse me. “You stupid little rabbit, you should have run through the park.” His growl is muffled in my hair.
I am replaying his words in my head when I hear the other man approach as Mathias releases his hold on me, and I’m brutally yanked up by Scar Face. This time, I do cry out in pain and wobble about as it finally becomes too much. Everything starts to get blurry and my balance is completely off-kilter.
I’m held brutally tight. I can feel his anger washing over me. I look down at the ground, trying not to let it show how much I hate him touching me.
“Fuck sake, Kane, could you have picked her blanket up?” Mathias is pissed off. “Look after her while I get it for her before she undoes everything the doc did for her.” Mathias is on his feet and running back up the street, leaving me with the man with the evil eyes.
I can’t believe I’m hoping Mathias will hurry back. I am suddenly released and look up, thinking Mathias is back, just as a sharp, violent sting attacks my cheek, shocking me as my head swings to the side and I yelp pitifully.
“That’s for trying to escape, bitch.” He is boiling with rage. I can’t look him in the eyes, afraid of what I will see in his soul. “You thought you could escape?”
I know this man wants to kill me in the most brutal way, and he would enjoy taking his time.
This is the man I was warned to stay away from by the girl who was gunned down by this very man. My fear of him has taken a front seat as I whimper and stumble when he pulls me about by my bad arm. My good arm presses against the front of my thin white gown as it starts to get soaked with fresh blood while I try to keep the stitches from tearing anymore, and nobody is around to save me.
Not even Mathias.
“Start walking, bitch.” I’m pushed forward roughly. I’m not prepared and I trip, skidding along the slippery pavement, my arms flailing when I feel a hard boot in my lower back propelling me forward. My hands come out instinctively to stop my fall and I land awkwardly. My left wrist snaps and I moan in pain when the rest of my body hits the hard ground. Blood sprays onto the light dusting of snow on the sidewalk.
A tear escapes, trickling down my face.
I didn’t think I owned any tears.
I’m lying awkwardly on the freezing pavement, shivering and trying to turn myself over. The cold starts to freeze my tears on my cheeks and then my blanket is being draped over me as I’m turned over. Mathias roughly cradles me in his lap as he sits on the wet, frozen ground. His body is rigid underneath me and he doesn’t utter a word.
He is stony, and I’m waiting to be yelled at, but instead, he grabs a fistful of my gown and slides it up my knees. “Don’t!” I grit out between my teeth. I’m in too much pain and want this nightmare done with.
He ignores my protest and slides the sodden socks down my legs, peeling them off my feet. He surprises me when he starts massaging them. I can’t look at him. I’m confused and waiting for the punishment for escaping.
“Kane!” he growls. He doesn’t stop massaging my feet, trying to bring life back into them. I don’t know why he is doing that for me. “Did you have to break her fucking wrist?” he roars at the other man, and I startle. “It’s bad enough the damage already been done to her, but now we have another injury to explain away, a further delay in getting her to him.”
“What? She slipped.” It’s then I realize both men don’t have their masks on. I can see their faces. I can see the long angry scar going down Kane’s cheek and those evil dark eyes that show so much darkness in his soul. I look at Mathias and notice the tattoo by his right eye, a symbol I don’t understand, and how pretty his eyes are.
Do they even realize I can identify them now? I quickly look down, keeping my head bowed. I don’t want to be able to identify them because they had masks on for a reason. They didn’t want me to know what they looked like.
What does this now mean for me?
“Do you honestly think you are secure in your position, high up enough in the food chain to not have repercussions for treating her this way?”
The other man retaliates, “Fuck off, Mathias.”
“Kane, you didn’t fucking think of that, did you?” he spits out. “This is on your head, not mine. I’ve done everything to stop any more damage, and between you and this bitch, everything is unraveling. You’ve deliberately added to what the doc now has to mend.”
I can’t help myself. I dare a look at Scar Face, his eyes are almost demonic black, and if looks could kill, I would be dead. He bares his teeth at me like he’s a hungry animal who wants to rip me to shreds, and mouths, You’re dead.
“Stop playing with her, Kane, and take your fucking gloves off and give them to me.”
Scar Face doesn’t move.
“Now!” Mathias is barely holding onto his rage. I’m surprised he isn’t dealing with this guy like he dealt with my abductors. He appears more senior. “I will not ask again.” The words sound so cold coming from Mathias’s lips. I want to be out of his arms.
Scar Face undoes his gloves and slaps them on Mathias’s shoulder. He removes them placing one on each of my feet, securing the velcro. My feet had been hurting badly from being so cold, and now they were inside dry leather, fleece-padded gloves. The warmth is welcomed even if they are Kane’s gloves.
“Take her from me so I can get up, and don’t do anything else to bring fucking harm to her. I’m warning you. Do. Not. Test. Me. You saw what happened to those other two in the hangar at the airfield.”
I’m jostled into Scar Face’s arms, and I feel the pure hatred oozing from his veins. I don’t want to be here, but I’m smart enough to keep my mouth shut and my head down.
He hisses in my ear, “Watch your back, bitch.” I snap my head away from his mouth just as his teeth graze my ear hard. He would have had a mouthful if I hadn’t moved my head.
Mathias gets up and his arms close around me as I’m scooped back into them. I lay cradling my wrist to my chest. He says nothing as he walks. His body is barely containing his anger.
I try to be as invisible as I can be and await my punishment. There is always a punishment for insubordination.
I bite down on my lip against all the pain my body is feeling. It’s fully woken up from the painkillers I would have been on. I try to take myself to another place in my head and instead concentrate on watching the little white clouds my breath is making, wishing I was far away, hidden from the bastards of this world who find it a sport to track me down. A place that is safe from harm and nobody wants to hurt or capture me. Where there is no pain or suffering, only happiness and sunshine.
I want to take one last look at the city skyline and what freedom looks like, but I keep my head down. Freedom is simply not in the cards in this life for me.
The cold is now attacking me. Before, adrenalin pumped through my veins, keeping me from feeling too much. The blanket is not enough. “I’m… so… cooold,” I chatter out. I didn’t mean to say it out loud; it just came out of me.
“Give her your jacket,” Mathias demands Kane.
I’m placed on my feet, but Mathias makes sure I’m standing on his boots, away from the wet ground. My body is flush against his. I will leave blood on him, but he doesn’t seem to care.
Snowflakes have started falling fast. With my eyes, I follow some that are falling on Mathias’s black beanie he’s wearing and are dotting it, making it look spotted. I have this childish urge to reach out and touch one until I realize I broke my rule of looking at these two men in the face.
He tears his beanie off, pulling the blanket away from my head, and roughly pushes it down over my hair until it covers my ears. It is wool, and already I can feel its warmth. Then the blanket is stripped from my body and replaced by a far too big, thick warm jacket. I can’t even think to complain that it belongs to Kane, because it staves off the cold.
Instead of being punished, I’m being clothed?
I keep my broken wrist held close to me while the large jacket is zipped up to my neck, cocooning my body against the cold. The hood is then placed over my head, trapping my body heat in, and then I’m swung up into Mathias’s arms again like I weigh nothing. I’ve probably lost a lot of weight, not that I was much in the first place.
“Put the blanket over her legs.” His words brook no disobedience; he is so angry. Kane reluctantly does what is asked of him and then snarls something about meeting Mathias back at the building.
This warmth I’m cocooned in is making me tired, so I close my eyes and let my head nestle into his neck. I’ll worry about the repercussions of running later. I’m sleepy, and some rest sounds like a good idea.
“Hey, little rabbit.” I’m being shaken. “Stay awake for me.” I hiss in a breath of pain while his beard tickles my lips. The smell of coffee assaults my senses and falsely offers me comfort.
I know it would be better for me if I kept on sleeping and never woke up again.
But, I won’t give in.
I open my eyes lazily when I’m shaken again. “Stop that,” I mumble.
“No!” And he shakes me again.
The movement is jolting my wrist and I need him to stop. I decide talking will help to keep me conscious. I no longer care if he’s noticed I can see his face. “Where are you from? I don’t know your accent.”
He walks silently as he decides whether or not he will give me this little slice of information. I try my best to stay awake.
“Norway.” His voice is a lot calmer now, more in control. I think Scar Face leaving to walk ahead has lowered his anger levels.
“Norway,” I whisper. “I have a friend from England.”
His arms do that tightening thing around me again. “I’m not your friend, little rabbit.” His voice has dropped an octave. “I am a fox.”
I make a little slurred noise like I can’t help scoffing at his comment. I can already work out he’s not my friend. “I have been with a Hell’s bastard of a man my whole life. I know the difference between a low-life human being and a good person.”
What more could these people do to me that hasn’t already been done? What could a fox do?
“You may be sly and cunning, but I no longer fear you.” I know my mistake when his arms tighten around me. I hiss in a breath when my shoulder gets squeezed into my body too much.
“Well, you should because I eat little rabbits.” I inhale his coffee-scented breath when his head dips again.
I try not to fold inside myself at that comment. He wants to frighten the life out of me, but I am past the point of caring tonight. I know I should care, but maybe it would be better if I had been shot dead. I try to get a handle on my emotions. I am only alive, because Mathias’s orders are to bring me in that way, and he has been trying hard to keep it that way, but I also know a phone call is all it would take to have me executed. I’ve witnessed what he is capable of.
I decide to challenge him to answer my questions. “Mathias, what did you shout at that girl in the hangar when she was already dead?”
He doesn’t answer me straight away and keeps walking.
“Who told you my name was Mathias? Because I sure as hell didn’t.”
Fuck. I have to think! I can’t get the doctor in trouble.
“The girl in the hangar… she also told me to stay away from Kane.”
“She was correct. He was going to shoot you dead when you ran too. He thinks with his gun and not his head. You will also forget that you have seen our faces because it will only end your life. If he knows, then you have no more lives left. I won’t be able to save you from him. He will take you out without a second thought. Do you understand me?”
I nod. I know how to bide my time until I can work out how I can escape. “What about Kane?”
“Leave him to me. He knows what is good for him, and your escape and seeing our faces will only get all three of us killed on the spot.”
“Why are you doing this? My friends would pay you to walk away from this madness. Kane is gone. It’s just you and me. Please. I didn’t do anything to deserve this, and you don’t need to do this. You have a choice right now. We could both disappear. Just a phone call to my family and you could leave me and disappear.”
“Shut the fuck up,” he roars in my face. “You have no fucking clue about me and what I choose. There is no choice. Do not utter another fucking word.”
Mathias carries me in strained silence. We don’t meet another soul on the way back. I can feel myself falling back to sleep with the rhythm of his pace, when he says quietly, “I called her a stupid little rabbit, because we are all foxes, and don’t you forget that.”