“It’s scandalous, Essa,” Cassie chided her. “I love it.”
She laughed at her friend. “I need to be able to move freely, and I can’t run wearing a dress.”
“Are you sure Nazrin won’t mind you pilfering his breeches?”
She shrugged. “I doubt he’ll miss them. That man has a lot of clothing.” At the maiden’s pursed lips, she added, “All you have to do is help me take them in. I’m not asking you to wear them.”
Her friend chimed a laugh. “This is pretty advanced. Why don’t you let me handle this while you practice stitching?”
“Thank you, Cassie.” Essa flashed her a smile and joined the other women in the workshop. The afternoon passed. Idle chatter filled the hours while her attempts at sewing produced a bundle of twisted knots.
On the way to the evening meal, Kai intercepted her. “You owe me a swim.”
Although his sapphire eyes promised mischief, she cast a longing glance at the water and recalled the wards. “In truth, that sounds wonderful.”
“Race you to the Big Rock?” Kai winked at her.
“The Big Rock?”
“Yes, see that large boulder across the lake?” He pointed to the opposite lakeshore. “It’s rather creatively named.”
Essa laughed. “Last one to arrive has to gather our meal?”
“Agreed.” His fingers slipped the buttons through his tunic, already tugging it off.
She sprinted toward the female morphos hut and changed. Despite her efforts to hurry, Kai was waiting for her at the Big Rock.
“About time.” He grinned.
She splashed him with her hand. “Women have more garments than men, it’s not fair.”
“True.” He tossed his hands in mock surrender until she stopped splashing him. “Ready? Follow me. Oh, and do try to keep up.”
He was in the water so fast he missed her scowl. Essa followed Kai as he dove under. He led her down a stream, out beyond the boundary wards, demonstrating how to pass through them. She memorized the passwords—asphodelus, eros, aionios—and translated them, “daffodil, love, eternal.”
Daffodil? An odd choice, just as bizarre as the concept of eternal love. How did those words relate to Halcyon?
They swam together, over and under a coral reef. She pointed out some starfish. He waved at a school of bright orange fish.
They swam along the tributary to the ocean, staying under the water, until they arrived at their destination. Kai climbed onto a grouping of low rocks near the shore. Tension knit her shoulders as she sensed the radiance of Apollo’s sun shining upon them. Would he report her whereabouts to her aunt?
After she reclined beside Kai, he handed her an oyster. She cracked it open on the rock and slid the delicate morsel down her throat, savoring the flavor of the briny salt water.
He mimicked her, but paused to study her. “You care for him.”
“What,” she spurted, choking on her second oyster.
“Why, Essa? I told you not to trust him. As a friend, why didn’t you listen to me?”
“It’s not that simple.”
He sighed, shoulders slumped. “I wish you would give us a chance first.”
“Us?” She tensed.
He tossed a few empty shells into the water. “An alliance between our families, well, wouldn’t it be best for everyone?”
Alliance? Oh, marriage. “Kai…” Why would he propose such a thing to someone he’d just met? The uneasy notion rose within her that she glimpsed but half of a painting. The other half contained all the answers.
“Nazrin can never care for you as I could. Their race isn’t like ours.” He stroked her cheek, his words cutting through her. “He pretends to desire you because you have something he seeks. I know about the amulet.”
“You do? How?” She shifted from him.
“Your father seeks the amulet, too. They all do. I don’t know why or what it does. Lord Nereus wouldn’t tell me.” He shrugged. “There can be no future for you with him.”
“What do you mean?” Her stomach tightened as she asked the question she didn’t want answered.
“Darling, think. He lives in the clouds. You live in the sea. Water Borne can’t live away from the ocean. We need it too much.” He angled her chin to gaze into her eyes. “One day, you’ll want children. We can’t breed with them.”
She frowned at his statement. “I met his niece, Amaya, and—”
“Even if a woman can become with child, the babe dies before its second year. Aedre’s daughter is rare, yet even she is fading.”
“No.” She blinked, images of the sweet child wrapped in her mother’s arms blurring her vision.
“Yes, it’s unfortunate. She appears to be about four, but in truth, she’s not yet one. Her body has grown too fast. It’s not natural. Sadly, no one expects her to survive.” His body tensed beside her. “I’ve never heard of an adult who survived. Our kinds weren’t meant to mix.”
She wrapped her arms around her middle. No. How could a mother live with such coming grief?
They rested for a few minutes while she processed Kai’s revelations.
“Essa, I’m not asking you to marry me tomorrow.” He rested his hand on top of hers, his eyes flashing a dark, intense blue, and he caressed her cheek with the back of his free hand. “Open yourself to the possibility of caring for me, of falling in love with me.”
Her chest tightened as he bared his intentions before her. “I can’t, Kai.” A husband wasn’t in her future, and neither was love.
“Mayhap, if we just…” he murmured, leaning closer, his voice husky. Suddenly he snared her chin and drew his lips to hers, feathering his mouth across hers.
Gasping, she pulled away, her body torn in a thousand directions. She searched his face. No flicker of lust, no hint of barely contained passion. Just an odd expression of resignation he blinked away.
His kiss hadn’t consumed her, either. Not as Nazrin’s had. They’d been but two sets of lips pressed together, two bodies held close. Nothing, not even a spark flared inside of her. She sensed the same in him. So why then did he press for their union?
“Let me take you back.”
They swam together to the Big Rock. He brushed the hair from her eyes, his hand lingering on her cheek. She managed a weak smile, but couldn’t shake how wrong their kiss had felt.
“Stay with me, darling. We belong together.”
Belong together? The back of her mind tingled, as though she struggled to grasp something she should remember. The scars on his back, the determination of his proposal despite his lack of desire… The answer wavered in the recesses of her mind.
At her silence, he sighed and squeezed her hand. “Very well, I won’t press. You know where I stand, Essa.” He winked at her before diving under.
Confusion tightened the muscles in her throat. She trudged to the cabin, hoping Nazrin wasn’t home. Her limbs weighed her with exhaustion and she was in no mood for surliness. Nearing the cabin, she noticed the warm glow of the fireplace. Blast it.
She inched the door open and slipped inside.
“We agreed you’d leave a message.” Nazrin lounged by the fire and didn’t glance up from the book he was reading. His tone was flat, so she wasn’t sure if he jested or not.
“I didn’t realize you were interested in my whereabouts today.”
“I’m always interested.” As he raised his face, those dark depths flashed copper. He stood and stalked across the room in a handful of steps, but paused a foot from her and sniffed. A low growl rumbled in his throat. “He kissed you.”
She gaped at him. How did males sense such things? “No. Er, Yes.”
Nazrin’s wings darkened and talons replaced his fingers. The warmth drained from his features while a tic worked his jaw. He was the predator, and someone had tampered with his quarry.
From where had this possessiveness toward her sprung? “It’s not what you think—”
“Tell me he forced you.” Desperation flashed across his features, softening them for an instant.
She swallowed the thick lump in her throat. He needed her to say yes, but she refused to place Kai in danger, and she hadn’t been forced.
“No,” she whispered, terrified of what that one small word would mean. “He surprised me, but he didn’t—”
With a snarl, his eyes swirled to pools of black ink. Nazrin spun, snatched one of the chairs, and threw it into the bookcase before storming from the cabin.
She sank to her knees, gasping for air. Her chest splayed open. A thousand knives sliced through her heart. What had she done?
Why should she care about either of them? She didn’t intend to stay in Halcyon, or to have any part in their War. In a short while, she’d be named Apollo’s Pythia, and her tumultuous emotions would fade to distant memories.
Yet, stabbing pangs splintered her heart. Kai. Would Nazrin…? No. He wouldn’t hurt Kai. If she’d said yes? Nazrin would have killed him.
Shame washed through her veins. Her actions had been thoughtless, and now, she’d hurt both of them.
Essa shuddered, picturing herself in Nazrin’s place. How would she have reacted if she’d come home to find him kissing some other woman? She observed the broken chair, the fallen books, and knew.
The same. Perhaps worse.
As she closed her eyes, the mournful keening of a hawk shattered the remnants of her soul.
***
Nazrin flew. He flapped his wings, not caring which direction, how long, or how far away he flew.
Essa’s betrayal sliced through his heart, the sting sharper than his talons. All of this waiting and none of it mattered. He couldn’t have her. Because of some bloody enchantment, his mate belonged to another male.
These long years, he’d fooled himself into believing he had a chance with her. A chance at redemption.
Nay. He shook out of hawk form, his wings spreading on either side of his body. Essa had been his before she’d been betrothed to Kai.
That had to mean something.
He recalled the expression on her face as she’d confessed. Genuine shock and shame clouded the spark in her eyes. Withholding his intentions toward her had been the wrong course.
The myrman had a smooth manner with words. His mate was innocent, sheltered. Damn. His logical side admitted defeat, but his heart… His heart refused. Love was no longer an intangible sentiment beyond his grasp. It bloomed within his chest.
It bloomed for Essa.