Chapter 36
Annalise
“Shit-take.” Madison shook her head.
“Umm… What?”
“Did you not just hear the waiter? He pronounced the shiitake mushroom special as shit-take and asked me how I wanted my baked lobster cooked. Umm…done?”
I chuckled. “Sorry. I guess I zoned out for a few seconds there.”
Madison brought her wine to her lips. “Probably exhaustion from getting laid every night by your new boy-toy.
I sighed. “Can I ask you a hypothetical question?”
“Of course. If it makes you feel better to pretend it’s not about you, go right ahead. Shoot.”
“It does.” I paused and thought about how to word it. “If a woman is involved with a man—one who’s been very upfront from the beginning that he doesn’t want a long-term commitment—would it be insane for said woman to walk away from a good job with a shitload of stock options and money at stake on the off-chance the guy might come around and want something more?”
Madison frowned and set down her wine glass. “Oh, honey. You were only supposed to use him as a rebound.”
I ran my finger through the condensation on the base of my wine glass. “I know. And it should have been the perfect arrangement. I mean, he’s a narcissistic, commitment-phobic, chauvinistic, arrogant ass.”
Madison threw her hands in the air. “Well, of course you fell for him!”
We laughed.
“Seriously though, one of us is going to be reassigned to Texas in a few weeks. Would I be nuts if I looked for another job so the two of us could have a chance?”
“How much money are we talking about here?”
“Well, I have stock options that vest over the next three years. Basically, they give me the opportunity to buy 20,000 shares for a set price of $9. So it depends on what the stock is worth when they vest.”
“What’s it worth now?”
I winced. “$21 a share.”
Madison’s eyes bulged. “That’s what…almost two-hundred and fifty grand profit?”
I nodded and swallowed.
She guzzled the rest of her wine. “You like him that much.”
I nodded some more. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s all those things I originally thought, but there’s so much more underneath. Like, he has this childlike quality to him, but at the same time, he’s so committed and responsible with his godson. Plus, he makes me laugh, even when I’m pissed off at him. And he has a good heart, but he doesn’t want anyone to know. Not to mention—he has the goods and knows how to use them.”
“How does Bennett feel about all this?”
I shook my head. “We haven’t spoken about it.”
“Well, I think that’s a conversation you need to have before you consider tossing your career and that much money aside.”
“The thing is…I don’t think we’re there yet. And I can’t imagine him being okay with me giving anything up for a chance that he’ll come around. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’d fold himself right back into the little box he stays locked up in most of the time if he knew what I was thinking. Something has him gun-shy about relationships. But I don’t know what.”
“Don’t you think that’s a red flag in itself? That you don’t even know what made him anti-relationship?”
“Of course I do! And I know the entire thing sounds ludicrous to even consider. But…I really like him, Mad.”
“You know, sometimes it’s hard to see things clearly in a rebound relationship. People often seek the security and comfort of what they just lost—and it can cause attachments that are more to the relationship than the actual person.”
“I’ve thought about that. I have. But I don’t think I’m trying to replace Andrew or what we had.”
Madison didn’t look convinced. I’d expected her to tell me I was insane for even considering giving up a great job and money for a long shot at a man—at least, at first. But now that she wasn’t on board or excited about my idea, it put a damper on my enthusiasm, too.
I changed the subject and tried to enjoy the rest of my night. Although, there was a reason the woman had been my best friend for more than twenty years: she saw through my bullshit.
When we were leaving the restaurant, she hugged me extra long.
“If you love a narcissistic asshole, I’ll love him, too. If you decide to quit your job and take a chance on love, you can sleep on my couch and come to my work dinners four nights a week with me when you’re broke. I’m here for you, no matter what. I didn’t mean to shoot down your feelings. I was just being protective of you, my friend. I trust your judgment. You can make more money and find a new job.”
She pulled back and cupped my cheeks in her hands. “You have time. You’ll figure this out.”
I felt my eyes well up and pulled her in for another hug. “Thank you.”
***
I’d decided not to text Bennett before showing up. But now that I stood in front of his building, looking up at his dark window, I wondered if this was a bad idea. It felt like a booty call, something I’d never done. In fact, in the eight years Andrew and I had been together, I hadn’t once even considered showing up unannounced. We just didn’t have that type of relationship—which had never seemed odd to me, until tonight.
But here I stood; so screw it. No point in rethinking what I’d felt comfortable doing before I started overanalyzing things and comparing them to my last relationship. I took a deep breath and opened the door to his building. Pressing the buzzer labeled Fox, I waited while tapping my nails on the metal of the built-in mailbox underneath.
I jumped when his voice came through the intercom. “Yeah?”
He was so grumpy; I couldn’t help but smile. “Delivery for a Mr. Fox.”
I heard the smile in his words. “Delivery, huh? Whadda you got for me?”
“Whatever you’re in the mood for.”
The buzzer buzzed, opening the door before I’d finished the last word. I chuckled, feeling giddy.
But as the elevator climbed, other feelings started to take over. My body started to tingle, and my heartbeat sped up. My first booty call. No wonder people made such a big deal about it.
When I stepped out of the elevator, Bennett was waiting in the hall, shirtless, leaning against the doorframe of his apartment. He was the picture of confident and casual, and his eyes glittered as he watched me walk toward him.
He took a piece of my wayward hair between his thumb and pointer and played with it. “Whatever I’m in the mood for? That’s a pretty big statement for a little girl.” His voice was so damn thick and gruff—I loved it.
I shifted restlessly, feeling electricity crackle in the air all around us. Attempting to pull it together, I straightened my spine and looked up at his imposing frame.
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
Bennett’s mouth curved into a slow, wicked grin. “You most certainly are.”
I yelped when he lifted me off the ground. Yet my legs seemed to know what to do before my brain caught up. They wrapped around his waist and locked behind his back as he carried me inside his apartment. His lips sealed over mine while one hand balled up a fistful of my hair, and he used it to tilt my head where he wanted it.
Completely lost in the kiss, I had no idea we’d even been moving until my back hit the soft mattress behind me. Somehow we managed to strip out of most of our clothes while never breaking contact. Bennett dragged my thong down my legs, and my breaths were wild and jagged.
He brushed the hair from my face. “One last chance… Whatever I’m in the mood for? You’re sure?”
I nodded, though now I was a little nervous.
His wicked grin returned as he reached over to his end table and grabbed something out of the drawer. He held up a bottle of lube. “Full. Brand new. Bought it on the way home tonight in case the opportunity arose. We must be on the same page, sweetheart.”
His head ducked to capture one of my nipples between his teeth. He tugged until my back arched off the bed, and then closed his lips over the swollen peak and sucked gently. By the time he lifted his head to align with mine again, I was panting like a wild animal.
He shifted from on top to next to me, taking his body warmth and letting a cool breath of air hit my body. Goosebumps broke out in places I didn’t even realize could bump. The sound of the cap popping open on the bottle of lube made me jump.
“I’m assuming you’re an anal virgin. Am I right?”
My eyes widened. I nodded because forming words would’ve been completely impossible.
He kissed me gently one more time, then wrapped one arm around my waist and flipped me over like I was a ragdoll. “Up on all fours, beautiful.” His arm lifted and guided me.
The sound of my ragged breaths filled the air around us. Bennett positioned himself on his knees behind my propped-up ass. I felt like I might explode from nerves and anticipation. He bent and trailed a string of kisses from the top of my ass, up over my spine, onto my neck, and then nibbled his way to my ear. His body wrapped around mine, and I felt his cock nudge at my rear.
“We’ll go slow. I won’t hurt you. Trust me.”
I’d unknowingly been tense, and the warmth and concern in his voice helped my body relax a little.
Bennett rose to his knees behind me, and I felt tiny beads of warm liquid begin to fall at the top of my ass. Each drop intensified my anticipation. Traveling painstakingly slowly, they followed the natural path between my ass cheeks. It was the single most euphoric feeling I’d ever experienced in my life. My toes started to tingle.
“Jesus Christ,” he groaned. “That’s fucking hot.”
When the lubricant reached my lips, Bennett rubbed it into me, massaging my clit and teasing at my opening. He hunched over my body and used his other hand to turn my head for a kiss at the exact moment his fingers pushed inside me. Heat spread through my body when he murmured, “I want to be inside every part of you at once.”
He shifted his hips and replaced his fingers with his cock. The lubricant and my arousal slipped him inside with ease. He rocked his hips a few times, sinking deep, before lifting back to his knees behind me.
When I felt the tip of one of his fingers circling over my anus, my body immediately clenched in reaction.
“Relax. I won’t push you. This is all I’ll try tonight. I promise. Trust me.”
I closed my eyes and tried to unfurl the coil of tension inside me with a few deep breaths. Bennett gave me a little space and slowly glided in and out of me a few times before trying again. The second time, it still felt foreign, but I accepted it and let it happen. He massaged and pushed the tip of his finger slowly inside, in unison with his hips. Eventually I relaxed and started to move with him, even pushing back and meeting his thrusts. I was shocked at how good it felt.
I became lost in the feeling of being full, and in giving something so special to this man. My arms and legs started to shake, my body quivering in anticipation of the tsunami that had started to roll through me.
“Bennett…”
He pumped harder and faster, at the same time withdrawing his finger and then sliding it all the way back in. When I relaxed enough, he added a second finger. That was enough to set me off. I came hard and loud—sounds coming from me that I didn’t even recognize. When I thought I might collapse, Bennett hooked one arm around my waist to keep me steady and pumped into me harder. With a voracious growl, he leaned over, buried his head in my hair, and spilled inside of me.
We were both soaked with sweat when we collapsed on the bed. Bennett, aware of his weight, quickly rolled off my back, and the two of us struggled to catch our heaving breaths.
My hair was plastered to the side of my face. Pushing it off, I rolled over to my back. “Wow.”
Bennett pushed up on an elbow and stared down at me. He leaned over for a gentle kiss, then rubbed my bottom lip with his thumb. “Thank fuck that ex of yours is a dumbass and had no idea what you liked.”
I smiled a goofy smile. “I don’t think I knew either.”
He kissed me again. “It’s my absolute pleasure to help you figure that out.”
“I just did my first booty call.” I wiggled my eyebrows.
Bennett laughed. “Pretty damn appropriate name right about now, don’t you think?”