Parker
I’m stuck in this house with my kids. I love them, but this place is massive. Besides, they aren’t up after nine at night. There’s no one to talk to and I’m left alone with the demons who remind me on a constant basis that I’m the biggest disappointment of a wife. I don’t know how I can ever expect Trent to forgive me when I can’t forgive myself.
It’s after ten, and I haven’t heard from Trent all day. I thought for sure I would have after he identified his father. Perhaps he’s drowning his sorrows in some expensive scotch. I don’t think I could blame him. Lord knows I’ve been guilty of the same lately, and I haven’t lost a loved one. Not yet anyway.
I pour myself a glass of wine and sit on the sofa, debating whether or not to turn on the television. I settle for some music. I sip my wine, reflecting on my life. It’s been charmed. I’ve had the best of everything and have never had to work hard for anything. I’m one of the lucky ones who was born into the right family.
Then why I am I so miserable?
My family has been tight knit forever. My mother bent over backward to ensure my father’s every need was met. She doted on us kids as though that were the only things in life that made her happy. When she became a grandma, her eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. Mom was always happy and her zest for life spilled over onto everyone else. Except for Dad.
He was always focused on business and creating new ways to become even wealthier. He wanted what the Davis’ had. Even though we had a prominent name in the community and an exorbitant amount of wealth, we weren’t regarded as highly as Jonathon Davis and his family. The rest of the family was okay with that, but not Dad. He wanted the Matthews name at the top of every guest list. Something that I never quite understood.
I was never privy to his business dealings, but my understanding is that some were shady. He wanted to be powerful, and so he associated himself with less than savory people. Ones that could do favors that might not otherwise be legal.
That is how he found out about my rebelliousness. I had been working at a club. I didn’t need a job, but I wanted to do something, anything. I was a sophomore in college and I felt like my life was already planned out. I hated it. I wanted to have my own say and freedom to make my own decisions. I loved being with Trent, but I didn’t want to marry him and never get to experience the world.
That’s when I met this girl, Delia. She was in one of my classes and we became fast friends. One night when we went out I drank a few too many shots of tequila and began spouting off at the mouth, telling her all about my life of privilege and how I just wanted to be naughty for once. One thing led to another and next thing I know she’s kissing me. I liked it. A lot. It was different from kissing a man. She was soft and sensual. It was as if she was inside my body and knew exactly how I liked to be touched. She led me out of the bar and next thing I know we’re back at her apartment. She poured some wine for us and we sat on the couch and continued to talk for a while. The entire time I had hoped for her to kiss me again. It was all I could think about, having her soft, fruity flavored lips against mine. I guess she sensed my desire because she told me how beautiful I was before kissing me deeply. She pressed up against me, caressing my breasts. It was so hot and sexy. I’d never been so turned on in my life. The sex was better than any I’d had in my life.
I spent the next few months “studying” with her. We became best friends in the bedroom and outside. We were inseparable, and even moved in together as a cover to spend more time with each other. Busy with studying and applying to various law schools, Trent didn’t have a lot of time for me and we had put our relationship on hold.
One day Delia confided in me about how she was paying for her tuition. She had been working at an upscale strip club. The men who came there were all very wealthy. She had to sign a nondisclosure form to work there because the men had to remain discreet due to their status in the community. She was bringing home several hundred dollars a shift. Delia explained that they were looking for another girl and she thought I’d be perfect.
At first I wasn’t sure. Someone from my heritage didn’t do things like that. Then I started thinking it might be fun. It was a way to earn my own money and it might be just thing I was looking for to spread my wings. Before I knew it, I was one of the regulars.
I quickly got promoted to special events where I danced privately in a room with up to five men. The price was much higher and I was paid more to give each man individual attention. I loved the power over them, the way they looked at me, and the desire in their eyes. It was the type of rush that junkies search for. I was my own woman controlling my body and these men. I’d never had such power in my entire life. It was liberating.
One night a handsome business man came to the club. He was young looking, maybe early thirties. He was sexy as hell with his dark hair slicked back and his blue eyes illuminating the room. The woodiness of his cologne and the strength he emanated was alluring. I knew when I entered that room, it was going to be hard to resist him. What made it even harder is that he requested Delia and me to dance together for him.
The room was hot and smelled of sex. Delia was grinding up against me, her breasts exposed and her nipples peaked. They were screaming for my attention. I took one into my mouth and began to suck on it. The man moaned, rubbing the growing erection in his pants. Delia pulled my lips to hers and we continued to dance and touch each other. I was more alive than I’d ever been. Every touch was like electricity igniting my skin. I had to work hard to keep focus on the man who was now breathing heavily as he freed his cock from his pants. I almost lost my mind. I’d never seen a cock that big. I wanted it. I want him to fill me with it.
I asked Delia if she would mind if we played with him, and she agreed. When I whispered threesome in his ear, it didn’t take long before he was completely nude. I got down on my knees and started sucking on his manhood while Delia kissed him. It was so erotic, like nothing I’d ever experienced. He lifted me from my knees and turned me around. Delia sat on the couch and spread her legs. I instantly put my mouth to Delia’s pussy and began to pleasure her.
The man pushed inside of me from behind. The girth of his cock stretched me and I braced myself as he sunk himself entirely into me. I continued with Delia, trying to concentrate on my task at hand as the man thrusted inside of me. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. The man was just about to unravel inside me when the door flew open.
“What the hell is going on in here?”
My father was standing in the doorway next to my boss. I tried to cover up, but my dad had been given more than an eyeful. That was when I found out my father owned a high end strip club.
My father threw his jacket over me and escorted me out. A night that started out so thrilling and hot turned out to be the embarrassment of my life. My father made sure I knew what a little slut I’d become as he drove me back to the dorms. That was pretty much the night that ended my freedom and forced the move in with Trent. My father felt I needed some supervision and Trent was the only one capable of doing so. Needless to say, I’m not sure if Trent would have asked me to marry him if our families hadn’t pushed us together.
My phone rings, bringing me back from the past. I sigh, sad that I hadn’t spoken to Delia in years. Not until a few months ago when I reached out to her. At first it was phone calls. As weeks went by, we had secret rendezvous. We’ve been intimate ever since. That’s why I haven’t had sex with Trent. That’s why I’m so torn. I’m in love with Delia and always have been. The thought of destroying my children’s sense of family is hard for me to take. Plus, I do love Trent. I’m just not in love with him and I’m not sure I ever have been. My heart sinks when I see who is calling.
“Hello, Daddy.”
“Parker, where is your husband?”
“I presume he’s still in New York making funeral arrangements for his father.”
“Then why don’t you explain to me why he removed most of the money from his trust fund?”
I drop my glass of wine, the red liquid making an abstract art pattern on the white carpet. My heart begins to thump loudly in my chest, my mind swirling like a tornado with rogue thoughts spinning around. Trent had promised me long ago he was never going to touch it. All that money was going to go to the boys when they were of age. Something must have happened.
“I don’t know, Daddy. This is the first time I’ve heard of it. How did you know?”
“Because I keep track of my kids’ interests. Fortunately your joint bank account has remained untouched. However, you may want to move that money into your personal account to protect yourself. I don’t know what he’s up to, but I have a feeling it’s no good.”
The first thing that comes to mind is that this is my father’s fault. He had something to do with this. “What did you do? Is Trent okay? You promised he wouldn’t get hurt.”
“I haven’t done anything to him. Have you talked to him since he left?”
“No, but I didn’t expect to. This has been hard on him. I’m sure I’ll hear something soon.”
“You can’t just stand by while he’s pulling money from accounts. You need to protect yourself. First thing in the morning you go down to the bank and withdraw all the funds from your joint account. I don’t want you left with nothing.”
“Daddy, I’m a Matthews. I’ll hardly be left with nothing. I don’t need Trent's money. Besides, I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me like that.”
My dad laughs into the phone. “You’ve been making bad choices all of your adult life. Do I need to come down there and drive you to the bank? Get it done or else.” He hangs up the phone. Part of me hates that man. The other knows he’s just trying to protect me. I don’t need protection from Trent. He’d never hurt me. Me, on the other hand, I’ve about destroyed him. My stomach in knots, I think about what I’ve done to Trent over the past year. Horrible things. He has every right to divorce me. I’ve been spying on him, deceiving him, and cheating on him. Everything possible to destroy any trust he could have in me.
I go into the office and check the bank balance. Trent’s smell lingers and I feel his presence in the room. This is his spot where he thinks and ponders his family and life. This is where he has time to just be himself without any pressures. His private space. And here I am snooping into his world.
I log into the bank account. No activity today, but he did take out three hundred dollars at the airport ATM yesterday. Nothing unusual. I’d expect him to get some cash before traveling. I check our savings account. Trent transferred fifty thousand dollars in it about a week ago, but there haven’t been any withdrawals.
Clearly Dad is overreacting. Trent probably just took the funds out of his trust fund because of something that had to do with his dad.
I close the computer, certain that everything is okay. I lean back in my husband's chair and close my eyes. Perhaps with Jonathon dead, all this stuff can go away. Maybe Trent and I can get back to our lives and be happy again. Do I want that? Or do I want to pursue a life with Delia?
My cell phone rings and a picture of Trent comes up. It’s as though we’re in sync. He knows exactly when I’m thinking about him.
“Hey, honey. I was just thinking about you. How is everything?”
Trent exhales. “It’s hard. I can’t believe he’s gone. I’ve kind of been in shock all day long.”
“I’m sorry. Were you ever able to get a hold of your mother?”
“No. She still hasn’t answered her phone. I’m guessing she’s on the boat in the middle of the ocean somewhere. I just pray I can get a hold of her in time for a funeral. I’d hate to bury him without her.”
“Oh my gosh. Certainly there has to be a way to get a hold of her on the ship in case of an emergency. I think this qualifies.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know what company she went with and I haven’t had a chance to check it out. It’s going to have to wait until I get back. Anyway, I was calling to let you know that I’m going to be a couple more days. I need to arrange some things before my dad can be shipped back.”
“Do you want me to come out there? I can bring the boys, or maybe Beth can watch them.”
“No! I mean, no they need to have you there with them and continue with their normal routine. I don’t want them here seeing me like this. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Trent sounds weird. “Okay. Are you sure? Because I want to be there for you.”
“Yes. You’re there for me right now and I appreciate it. I need to get going. I need to close my eyes.”
“One more thing before you go. Why did you pull money out of your trust fund?”
He’s silent on the other end for what seems like eternity. “How did you know about that?”
“My dad told me. He was concerned about you.”
“My father’s name was on the account. I thought it would be best to sever the tie now while I was in town. I just transferred it to another bank. No big deal. Now I’ve got to go.”
Trent hangs up without another word. I stare at the phone to make sure he’s gone. Something isn’t right. I ponder what could be happening before writing off his weird behavior to the fact that Jonathon is dead. Who knows how I’d be if the situation were reversed?
I call my dad back to let him know that Trent moved the money for a good reason. I also ask for his help in locating Trent’s mom. If anyone can find her, it’s my dad. If I can do that for him, it will alleviate a lot of Trent’s stress. It must be hard making all the decisions regarding his father by himself.
When I finish, I head upstairs and crawl into bed wishing my husband was lying by my side, wishing that I could change the events of the last year. Wondering if there is a chance to save this marriage or if that is what I want. I just don’t know.
As I drift off to sleep, my mind wanders to Delia. Her heart would break all over again if I left her a second time.