Something’s changed.

Sebastian isn’t a hundred percent sure what it is or when it happened—maybe it was Matt sitting at the dinner table at his mom’s house, eating a slice of apple pie even though he and Clarissa warned him a dozen times not to. Maybe it was the night they were together, really together, and the way he looked spread across Sebastian’s bedsheets, happy and good. Maybe it was the vulnerability, the truth, in his admittance that Matt had feelings for Sebastian long before whatever this is actually started.

He’s not sure what’s changed. He’s not sure if it has changed for him or for both of them; the only thing he knows is that it’s different now.

Everything’s different now.

The wedding rehearsal dinner ends not long after Matt and Drew come back from the kitchen. Matt’s a little distracted and keeps sending him short, contemplative frowns when he thinks Sebastian can’t see him, but other than that, it’s a pretty good evening.

Sebastian kind of knows everyone at the dinner, even if he’s not really friends with them. It’s the beauty of living in a small town that even awkward nights aren’t too awkward because at least relatively few people are actual strangers.

They say goodbye to everyone, and Peter makes them both promise to get to the chapel by noon the next day.

Sebastian kind of can’t believe how quick this whole thing is going. He only actually, properly met Matt a few days ago and now, the wedding is here and Matt will leave and be gone and Sebastian will—

Sebastian doesn’t know what he’ll do. He can’t really think that far ahead when he’s still got tomorrow to worry about.

He and Matt leave the restaurant and start walking wordlessly towards the motel that Matt’s staying at. He’s quiet, lost in his thoughts, and Sebastian’s wracking his brain trying to come up with something to say that will ease a bit of the tension in his shoulders.

“Hey,” he blurts out, reaching out to touch Matt’s arm. There’s no real point to it except that he wants to feel that burst of heat that always blossoms when they touch. As predicted, his skin tingles, and he tries to smother the heat-induced grin. Matt stops walking and looks down at where his hand is. Sebastian’s sure he feels it, too. “Do you pay rent for your motel?”

Matt looks at him, brows furrowed, and cocks his head. After a beat, he says, “Excuse me?”

“Well, your parents own it, right? The Sunnyside Motel. Your parents own it, so I guess I’m just wondering if you, like, have to pay rent.”

Matt blinks, shaking his head. He starts walking again. “No, I don’t,” he says. “My mother offered me the room there when I said that I was too old to sleep on the couch.”

“What happened to your room?” Sebastian always just crashes in his old bed when he stays at his mom’s.

“Craft room,” he answers.

Sebastian frowns. “What about your brothers’ rooms?”

Matt looks at him, a wry smile tilting his lips. “Future grandchildren playrooms.”

Sebastian laughs, whistling. “Wow, Momma Collins is subtle.”

“Lisa Collins has no need for subtlety,” he quips. Sebastian grins.

They continue the rest of the way in silence.

When they get to the motel, they stop by Sebastian’s truck. Matt leans against it, looking exhausted. He’s had a long couple of days and Sebastian wants nothing more than to pull him into his arms and make him forget all about it.

The urge sits just beneath his chest, like a longing. It makes itself known, as if it’s waiting to be taken out and offered to Matt.

He would, too, if he were allowed.

“So, chapel by noon?” Sebastian asks.

Matt nods. “Chapel by noon,” he confirms.

“What time do you want me here?” Sebastian shoves his hands in his pockets because they’re begging to reach over and pluck an imaginary bitfluff off of his shoulders, brush his knuckles across the growing five o’clock shadow on Matt’s strong, sharp jaw. There’s no one around, no one to pretend to be boyfriends for, and Sebastian’s not really allowed. He swallows and tries not to feel the disappointment building in his gut.

“To get to the chapel?” Matt asks, then turns his head a little bit, looking at the chapel that’s just across the street, up a little. It’s right next to the courthouse. They can practically see it from the parking lot they’re in. “By noon? How about eleven fifty-nine?”

Sebastian rolls his eyes, but his lips quirk up. “Okay, okay. Point taken.”

Matt sways towards him a little, face concentrated, before he smooths it out and smiles tightly. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Oh, yeah.” Sebastian starts a little, surprised by the quick goodbye. Matt’s already turning towards the door thoughand walking away and Sebastian has to call out quickly. “Night!”

Matt turns halfway around when he gets to the door, giving him a little wave. “Goodnight.”

He climbs into his truck and drives home on autopilot, the radio loud and windows down. He feels nervous, anxious, for the first time all night. Lying about being gay, about dating Matt, wasn’t as nerve wracking as he thought it would be. He didn’t mind exaggerating their stories or playing the dutiful boyfriend. He didn’t mind being teased about liking Matt because on some level, it was true.

He didn’t like Matt like that, because he doesn’t. Sure, he realized the other night that he was attracted to Matt—really, awfully, fully attracted to the guy, actually, but he doesn’t like guys.

Sebastian pulls into his parking spot and gets into his house. It’s empty and dark and he knows it’s just because he’s had company over so much lately but it feels lonelier in here.

He grabs himself a beer and kicks off his shoes. He strips down to his t-shirt and boxers before throwing himself on the couch, flicking on whatever weird movie he’d left paused.

The movie drowns out his thoughts for a little while but he can’t keep them at bay for long.

So, Sebastian’s not gay. Except that’s not really true anymore, is it? Sebastian doesn’t know what he is but he doesn’t really think it’s fair to say that’s not gay...so he’s just not not gay.

He frowns.

He can’t really be straight, either, now, because he definitely enjoyed the other night with Matt, and even thinking about it gets a heat flaring low in his belly and his heart racing. More than that, his fingertips tingle with the urge to just reach out and brush against him. He fits in his lunch breaks at work and at his mom’s kitchen table and in his bed. Matt fits in his life, and Sebastian can’t pretend like that’s a coincidence. He fits and Sebastian wants him to. He’s willing to adjust what Matt doesn’t fit into until he does.

He’s only known the guy about a week, technically speaking, but Sebastian thinks maybe you don’t need a lifetime to figure out the important stuff. He knew when he met Vic that they were going to be best friends. He knew when Clarissa was born that he was going to protect her, and when his dad died that he was going to be there for his family, no matter what.

And he knows, he knows, that Matt fits in his life, that he wants Matt in his life.

He also knows that Matt could want that to, if he let himself.

Sebastian tries to concentrate. He tries to figure out if his thoughts even make sense, they’re whirling so fast in his head. The movie seems too loud and his beer feels full but maybe he’s justdrunk afterall of this and he’s really just in an alcohol-induced paranoid fit. He had a bit of wine at dinner, too.

He thinks about dinner, which makes him think about Matt, and about how Matt would blink up at him, a split second before Sebastian finished a joke, waiting and sure that the punchline was about to land. He thinks about the way Matt seems to have a hundred different types of smiles, each one specific and full of meaning, and he probably has a hundred more that Sebastian hasn’t even seen yet, and yeah, okay, he’s at least a little gay.

If he’s not gay and he’s not straight, he’s—

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

The beer slips from his fingers, landing on the floor with a crash. Sebastian jumps, cursing, and reaches for the box of tissues. The can somehow landed upright and he manages to clean up the mess quickly, even with his shaking hands.

Holy shit.

He’s in love with Matt.

He’s in love with Matt and he’s been—what? Debating the implications of being gay or being straight when regardless of where he landed, he still wanted to be with Matt?

He laughs out loud, head falling into his hands.

God damn, he’s in love with Matt and he had no idea.

He’s only known him a week. One week. That’s not enough time to fall in love with someone. That’s barely enough time to get to know someone.

He knows that he just decided that one week was long enough to know something, to know that something was different and special and—and—permanent about Matt. He’ll stick by thattoo, but one week is not enough to know that he’s in love with the guy...except that—he totally is. He totally, completely loves Matt.

His pulse steadies for the first time in a week, as if throwing itself on the ground and yelling finally.

There’s a sureness in him now. He doesn’t understand it, how he could go from basically not knowing Matt to actually loving him, but it’s happened. Now that he’s realized it, he can feel it.

Every interaction the past week just slots into place, sliding together like puzzle pieces. He might’ve felt guilty at first, for being mean to Matt when they were kids, but even when that had faded nearly instantly, he still couldn’t keep himself away from the guy.

He thinks about the way his whole heart and mind had steadied at his mom’s house, watching Matt at the table with his sister, doing math homework, while he helped with his mom’s apple pie creation. He thinks about the way Matt looked the other night, head on his pillow while he laughed, eyes closed and throat bared. He thinks about the way he’d blushedand looked up, horrified at what Sebastian might think, when his secret high school crush was made known. He thinks about Matt sitting at a crummy motel right now, having no idea how Sebastian feels about him.

Sebastian stands up in such a hurry thathe knocks into the coffee table, re-spilling his beer everywhere.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he groans as he tries to clean up the mess quickly. When there’s enough tissues thrown onto the spill to adequately soak it up, he rushes into his bedroom and pulls on the first pair of jeans and sweatshirt he finds, slipping back into his shoes and grabbing his keys as fast as he can. He makes it to his truck in record time, nearly falling when he grabs the handle to swing himself around the corner. He manages to get inside without further incident and mutters an annoyed come on, come on, come on, as the engine turns over.

He’s pulled out and onto the main road before the thought occurs to him that, maybe, Matt doesn’t feel the same way.

He slows his driving, trying to breathe through the panic that’s starting to curl inside his chest.

Matt had a crush on him years ago, like, over a decade ago. Now he’s back in town and Sebastian has basically stalked him, badgered him into hanging out, kissed him without Matt kissing him first—Matt could just be compliant in this thoughtlessly, willing to see what happens because he’s home on a long weekend and not because he actually has feelings the way that Sebastian has.

Even their fake dating and wedding guest date was Sebastian’s idea.

By the time he pulls into the motel’s parking lot, he can barely breathe and his eyes are burning a bit too much to just be the fresh air.

He’ll just drive home. He’ll just drive home and pretend like the entire epiphany and attempted love confession didn’t happen. He’ll go home and he’ll be polite and not crazy tomorrow and then he’ll go on with his life. Hell, maybe he’ll tell Vic about it—in a few years, when it’s funny, and not just pathetic.

Sebastian lets his head fall on the steering wheel.

He’s a lot of things. He’s a little crazy and he’s a little scatterbrained and he’s completely singleminded in almost everything he does. He’s got a lot of flaws, more than he likes to think about. Sebastian is a lot of things, but he’s not a coward.

He turns the truck off and climbs out, stomping his way towards Matt’s door.

It opens suddenly when he’s a few feet away.

Matt’s fully dressed, a t-shirt and jeans paired with shoes, and he freezes when he looks up and sees Sebastian’s frozen body.

Matt’s jaw drops and he stares at Sebastian blankly. Sebastian returns the stare.

Shit, shit, shit, he’s going somewhere.

Sebastian wants to run and hide under a rock. He squares his shoulder instead.

“Matt,” he says, but his voice breaks halfway through, and he closes his eyes, mortified. He’s not even done the hard stuff yet and he’s already failing. Can’t knock on a door, can’t say his name. He’s interrupted whatever it is that Matt’s going to do, and Sebastian feels panic like a caged bird inside his chest.

“Seb,” Matt breathes out his name in that entirely intoxicating way. “I was just coming to see you.”

Sebastian’s eyes fly open. “What?”

“I was—on my way...to your house.” He clears his throat, swallowing. He’s still got the door knob in his hand and when he realizes that, he opens the door all the way. “Please, come in.”

Sebastian’s chest pounds as he follows Matt across the threshold into the motel room. It’s not messy, but it’s not neat either. The sheets and blanket are tangled together, half on the floor, and there’s a half empty food container by the nightstand, as if Matt was in bed before getting ready in a hurry.

“Why were you coming to my house?” Please love me too. Please love me too.

Matt’s face brightens red. “Why are you here?”

Sebastian’s throat threatens to close. He rakes his fingers through his hair and scratches at a sore spot behind his ear. This is why he came here. This is what he wants to do. Don’t be a coward.

“Sit down.” Matt complies immediately, sitting on the edge of the bed. He looks good on the edge of the bed—distractingly good. Sebastian shakes his head to clear it of those thoughts.

Sebastian paces for a second, trying to get his thoughts in order, but they never come. After a minute, he sits next to Matt.

He looks straight ahead and decides, to hell with it. “I’m a little bit, sort of in love with you.”

There’s a beat. Then two.

When time passes and it’s still nothing but quiet and Sebastian’s heart ispounding, he gathers all the courage he’s ever had to use as a deputy and turns to face Matt.

Matt’s mouth is parted, lips barely open, and his eyes are wide and unblinking. He looks shocked but not disgusted and that’s all Sebastian needs to barrel forwards.

“I’m definitely in love with you, actually,” he corrects himself. “I just realized it, like, thirty minutes ago, but I’m really sure. I’m in love with you and this is kind of a piss-poor confession, I’ll give you that, but—” Sebastian flounders when Matt’s hand flies to his mouth. At first, Sebastian thinks he’s crying, but then he moves his hand and Sebastian sees that he’s laughing.

His heart hurts from the rejection, so strongly, and so fast, that it’s almost baffling that his body is able to comprehend information that quickly. Shortly after the pain of Matt’s laughter, Sebastian’s ego takes a hit, and he sits on the precipice of crying.

He lashes out instead. “Hey! Listen, I know that you’re like, a fancy professor or something, and you can do a whole lot better than some small town guy, and my confession was admittedly bad, but you don’t have to go around laughing at me.”

Matt laughs harder at that, one arm wrapped around his waist as he nearly doubles over. Sebastian can feel his eyes start to sting and he goes to stand up, furious, when Matt throws an arm out and wraps his hand around Sebastian’s elbow.

“Wait,” he gets out between chuckles that are, thankfully, dying out. “Don’t leave, please.”

“I don’t see why I should stay,” Sebastian says, clipped.

Matt cocks his head, smiling. His laughter is all but gone and his grip turns from harsh to soothing. “I’m laughing because—” he stops and his face gets even redder.

Sebastian’s not feeling all that empathetic though and he nudges him forward. “Yeah, because?”

“Because,” Matt continues at the prompting. “I was on my way to your house...to tell you that I was in love with you.”

Any trace of humor is gone and instead, it’s just Matt, face open and bare, this honesty sitting between them like a peace offering.

Sebastian’s head hurts with the whiplash of his feelings. His hand lands on top of Matt’s, unable to stop itself. “Yeah?” he asks, quietly.

Matt sways closer. “Yeah.”

“I love you,” Sebastian repeats. His heart flutters in his chest as if it has wings, flapping around and waiting.

Matt cocks his head. It puts their lips closer together. “I love you, too.”

This time, they meet in the middle for the kiss.

It’s not the fireworks or the surprise that Sebastian feels this time. It’s their confession, thick like honey on his tongue as he swipes it across Matt’s bottom lip. He can taste the moment as if it’s tangible, dipped in sugar. It’s sweet and soft and it’s everything that Sebastian never knew he wanted. He wouldn’t even have known how to ask for it.

When they part, it’s not bittersweet or a break before more. It’s just—parting. It’s just waiting. It’s just them, and it fills Sebastian with so much happiness that he thinks maybe he’s been way gayer for way longer than he thought he was. It’s like something he didn’t know was missing has clicked into place, slotting together puzzle pieces that fill his limbs with blissful peace.

“I’m sorry I laughed at you,” Matt says, smiling. They’re close enough that it’s nothing for Sebastian to accept the apology with a light brush of their lips, just a second.

Nothing existsexcept for the lightning shooting up his spine. Every brush of his skin with Matt’s stings in a delightful way.

Sebastian looks at him, hard, because he’s allowed to. His lips spread in a wide smile. “Did you plan a speech?”

“What?” Matt asks, surprise marring his features.

Sebastian doesn’t buy it for a second. “Come on. You made a speech in your head, didn’t you?”

Matt bristles. “Well, I didn’t want to just barge in with something that is self-described as piss poor.”

“Hey, no trash talking it. That’s our story now.” Sebastian winks.

Matt rolls his eyes. “I’ll do my best to erase that part of your confession.”

Sebastian waves a hand. “Don’t bother. Adds color. Give me your speech.”

Matt squirms. “No, it’s entirely redundant now.”

“Oh, come on.” Sebastian scoots back on the bed so his back is against the headboard and he pats the spot beside him. “Come sit by me and give me your love confession.”

Matt huffs but his lips are twitching, and he crawls up beside Sebastian instantly.

“Fine,” he says. He lays his head on Sebastian’s shoulder and faces the TV in front of them. It’s turned off and Sebastian can kind of see them, can make out Matt’s face. He watches the reflection as Matt starts to speak, his voice dipping into that low rumble in his chest.

“Sebastian Anders,” Matt recites before faltering. Sebastian offers his hand for moral support, and Matt clings onto it instantly. He starts again, voice a little firmer. “You are endlessly frustrating. You are hard to read and have changed so much from the last time we met, I hardly know who you actually are. You’re impulsive and a messy eater and you keep promising to make me dinner but then make out with me instead.”

Sebastian laughs, and opens his mouth to defend himself, thank you very much, but Matt shushes him and keeps going. “But you’re also incredibly kind. You’re more clever than you think, and you’re so endlessly good. You’re a really good man, Seb, and I know there are so many reasons why we won’t work. We’ve only known each other for a week—”

“Technically, twelve years.”

“—and I live in a completely different city—”

“Buddy, Wichita is, like, an hour away.”

“—and you don’t even like men—”

“That one is honestly a whole lot more debatable than either of us thought.”

“But,” he stresses the word, raising his eyebrows into the little TV mirror they’re both grinning into. “I’m in love with you. I’m very, very in love with you, and I think if you try, you could love me, too.”

“Oh, Matt,” Sebastian turns and lifts his hands, cupping Matt’s face. “I really didn’t have to try at all.”

They grin at each other.

“I love you,” Matt repeats.

Sebastian feels still and full. “I love you, too.”

He leans over and kisses Matt.

There’s not a lot of things that Sebastian hates. There are a lot of things that he likes, though. And there are some things—some people—that Sebastian really loves.

He pulls away from Matt and knows that no matter what is thrown their way, he’s the one that Sebastian loves. He leans over and rests his head on the top of Matt’s head and thinks about how lucky he is to have been on duty that day a week ago. He thinks about Matt’s eyes and lips and kindness, about how the fluttering in his chest belongs to the lilts of Matt’s voice, and he thinks about how in love with the man he is. For the first timesince all this started, he doesn’t try to stop himself, because he might not know everything, but he does know one thing: Sebastian is in love with Matt, and Matt, he’s in love with him, too.