I spend my last couple hours with Sister, struggling to keep the crippling fear from dimming my features. Irin agreed to let her stay until she is completely healed, and after that, she will be free to stay or return to her old life, whatever is left of it. As much as I would hate to imagine my sister in a skimpy outfit, serving drinks to supernatural creatures during lavish parties, I truly hope she decides to stay. Safety is a novelty that only Irin can provide for the time being. If Toyol’s reports are accurate, the city is a war zone. There is no place for her there.
“So are you just going to let me ramble on about these rich chicks’ botched boob jobs, or are you finally ready to tell me what’s bothering you?”
I turn from the Housewives show I’m spacing out on, and plaster on a tight smile. “Nothing is bothering me.”
“Bull.” She clicks off the television, giving me her undivided attention. “I know you, Eden. You can lie to everyone else and pretend like you’re not scared out of your wits, but you can’t pretend with me. Come on…talk to me. Between you and Cain, I’m starting to freak out here.”
That piques my interest. “What did Cain say?”
“Nothing. That’s the point. He tells me nothing, as if he’s afraid that any hint of bad news will break me. I’m not that fragile. I know something is going on and I deserve to know what it is. Being in the dark nearly killed me, remember? I don’t think I’ll cheat death a second time.”
A pang of guilt pierces my chest at the mention of the explosion that nearly took her from me. The explosion that was a message for me. She’s lying in that hospital bed because of me. I may as well have pushed the button on the detonator myself.
“Well?” she says impatiently. Determination narrows her glare. “I’m waiting. Spill it.”
I take a deep breath. Then another, just to stall. “L…he’s gone.”
“Gone? Like, stepped out for a smoke-gone? Or went to the store for a gallon of milk and been gone for twelve years-gone?”
“I don’t know. I guess the second one?” I shrug. “He just left. Didn’t tell anyone.”
“Damn. Like that other guy, right? Crysis?”
Shit. She’s right. Like Crysis, Legion left without a trace, without telling a soul he was leaving. And the only thing I can think about is how I had a part in both of their disappearances. Crysis ghosted shortly after he and I had that tiff, resulting in me blasting him with holy light. And last night, after….whatever…happened between Legion and me, I can see why he dipped out too. Although, I didn’t blast him…I think. I just assumed he had gotten ahold of himself and threw himself back into that wardrobe, leaving it in a pile of splinters and strewn clothing…
Fuck. What if that was me? I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to hurt him, despite the fact that he was hurting me. But what if some inner angel, flight or fight instinct kicked in before I even realized what I was doing? It’s certainly possible. I didn’t see any light, but I was also being held facedown into a tear-stained comforter.
“Are you ok?” Sister asks, her voice full of sympathy.
“I don’t know. I’m worried.” And terrified. And angry.
“I know.” She rests a partially gauzed hand atop mine. “Did something happen?”
I look away and shake my head. There’s no way I can tell her about last night. She wouldn’t understand. Hell, I don’t even understand. But I know he left because of me. He abandoned his family—the ones who have fought alongside him for centuries—because of me. There’s no way I can stomach that fact without choking on my own guilt.
“I wanted to see you tonight because we’re leaving,” I finally admit.
“Leaving? When? Where are we going?”
“Not we, Sister,” I explain, turning back to face her. Her big, brown eyes fill with concern and confusion. “Me. I’m going with the Se7en to find L.”
“But I thought it wasn’t safe.”
“It’s not. Not for you, at least.” I try to smile through the pain, but I can’t force the act. “I’ll be fine, I promise. I’ve been training every day. Cain says I’m pretty lethal with a gun.”
Her mouth twitches as if she wants to appear optimistic, but I know just the mention of her newfound companion pains her. She’s not at risk of just losing me. She could very well lose him too. And even if we somehow make it out alive, there’s no telling how long we’ll be gone. Or in what state we’ll return.
“Don’t go,” she whispers, her voice cracking under the strain of emotion. “Stay here with me. Please? I can’t lose you too.”
I blink back tears, refusing to let them fall. It wasn’t that long ago that she lost Ben, the man she had been planning a life with. She loved him. And it’s a miracle that she’s opened her heart enough to heal and find solace in Cain. Her life was stolen from her. Her job, her home. Yet, she never let it ruin her. Somehow, it only made her more determined to survive.
But I fear that losing me and losing Cain will destroy her.
Still, I believe that I have to do this for her. We have to do this for her. Even if we don’t survive, she deserves another shot at happiness.
“I wish I could,” I reply to her pleas. “I do. But I can’t let others fight on my behalf anymore. All this…it’s because of me. Uriel is still out there, and he has my mother, plus a weapon that could kill the Se7en permanently. I won’t be a coward. If everyone else is willing to risk their lives, I need to do the same.”
She nods, knowing that my words are as true as they are earnest. But I know they do nothing to soothe her aching heart.
“When?”
“Tonight,” I answer. When her gaze goes wide with terror, I continue. “The sooner we leave, the easier it may be to track Legion. Before he gets too far. He could very well be in danger.”
“I understand,” she replies, casting her gaze downward.
I don’t want to cause her any more undue pain, so I climb to my feet and lean over to leave a kiss on her forehead.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can. I promise.”
“You better.” Her beautiful, brown eyes well with tears. “I love you, little sis.”
“I love you, too.”
I turn away before the first of my tears have a chance to fall. The sniffles at my back have me swallowing my own sobs as I open the door that leads to the hallway. I’m not surprised to find Cain standing there, propped against the opposite wall.
“You told her.”
I nod. “I don’t want to lie to her.”
“So she knows there’s a good possibility that none of us will make it back?”
“She knows there’s a chance that will happen, yes.”
A frown dimples the space between his dark, bushy brows and he strokes his beard. I’ve grown to learn that it’s his tell when he’s contemplative or troubled. “If things go awry, I want you to make it back here. If it looks like we’ll lose, leave us. Come back to her. She’ll need you more than ever if we’re not successful.”
“Successful. In finding Legion? Or in stopping Uriel?”
“Either. Both. If we fail at either one, it won’t matter anyway. If Uriel doesn’t destroy your world, Legion will finish off the job.”
My stare goes sharp and narrow. “How can you say that?”
“Because it’s the truth.” He pushes off the wall and comes to stand in front of me. Even with his proximity, I’m not afraid of him anymore. Actually, I’ve grown fond of Cain. And with his newly grown beard covering most of his scar, I might even find him handsome. “There was a reason he surrendered his power to Lucifer. He could’ve resisted, but he didn’t. He didn’t want this.”
“So what do we do now?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
“We find him. Then we go after Uriel.”
“In that order?”
He nods. “L is a sitting duck out there. Uriel knows that if he presses the right buttons and provokes him, Legion will do the very thing he desires. He will wipe out mankind.”
“And if it’s too late? If somehow Uriel finds him first?”
Cain looks away. Even his tone is distant. “We stop him.”
I hear the words, but know they mean something different—something more. We won’t just stop Legion. Cain is prepared to kill him.
“We meet in twenty. Suit up.”
He steps to Sister’s door but doesn’t turn the knob to go inside. Instead, he gently presses his forehead against the polished wood, a move that is so vulnerable, it almost makes him human. He’s in pain. Maybe even a little afraid.
I wish I had some words of comfort to offer him, but there’s no way I could offer fake confidence and optimism, not when my insides were twisted with anxiety. So I turn and slowly make my way down the hall, letting my tears leave a salty trail from Sister’s door.
When I make it to my room, I find that someone has taken the liberty of laying out clothes for me. Black leather pants, a long sleeve thermal, combat boots. Fighting clothes. There’s even a matching leather jacket with half a dozen inside pockets and straps built in, for weapons, I assume.
Holy shit. This is happening.
I mean, I knew it was happening, but it didn’t really sink in until now. I’d grown spoiled during our stay here. Too comfortable with the safety and security that Irin’s home provided. Now we are deliberately stepping into a war zone. And to be honest, I’m scared shitless.
I dress quickly just to give my shaking hands something to do and then slick my hair back into one long, silver braid. Whoever left the clothes also thought to include wool socks and leather gloves. It’s sweltering with all my layers, but I know it’s necessary to combat the Chicago chill. It’d be downright tragic to make it this far only to fall victim to hypothermia.
When enough time has passed, I make my way to Irin’s sitting room for the last time. The mood is somber. Even her staff have stowed their usual cheery demeanor. The Se7en are stationed at their designated space on the opposite side of the sectional, but Legion’s absence makes them seem even farther away. His presence filled the room. I could feel him in every cell, vibrating with the hum of his unnatural heartbeat. And now, he’s left a gaping hole—in my chest and within the Se7en. None of us are complete without him.
Irin is dressed in one of her many sarong and bra top ensembles, but this set seems less flashy. It’s black, just like everyone else’s clothing, and I have to wonder if we’re subconsciously having a funeral. Even Adriel has swapped out her flowing winter white for darker layers.
I’ve only just sat down when Lucifer comes striding in, Nikolai right behind him. The dazzling warlock comes to sit beside me, his expression unreadable. He isn’t in his usual dark suit, having traded the designer threads for slacks and a leather jacket similar to mine. I release a relieved breath.
“You’re coming?”
Niko nods. “Luc told me how he found you last night. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
He stares straight ahead, his jaw tight. I can’t imagine what he must think of me right now.
“He didn’t mean it… It wasn’t him.”
Niko’s head turns towards me so unnaturally quick that I nearly yelp. His eyes are pale and speckled with azure fire. “Wasn’t it though?”
He holds me with his glittering glare for nearly a minute before Lucifer clears his throat from his place beside Irin. When I look to him, he gives me a tight smile, so unlike the cocky grin that usually curves his sensual mouth.
Cain steps to the center of the room to address us all, his expression serious. He’s trimmed his short beard, revealing more of the scar that mars his face from lip to ear.
“If any of you are even the slightest bit uncertain, this is the time to speak up. Because the moment we leave this house, there is no turning back. There is no mercy beyond these walls—no safety from the terrors that await us. There is only violence. Only death. If you survive, you will live out your days with blood on your hands. Blood that may never wash off. So if you’re not one hundred percent sure that you can handle that, do us all a favor and stay behind. The training wheels are off from this point forward. This is war.”
I know he’s talking to me, but he gives me the courtesy of diverting his beady, black eyes. I wouldn’t back down now, even if I were uncertain. There is no option other than fighting. For Legion. For my sister. For every innocent human life. All I have left in me is the will to fight.
“Well, that’s one hell of a pep talk. Is this the part where we feel a rousing sense of inspiration?” Lucifer jibes, rolling his eyes. Cain flips him the bird and stalks back to the Se7en.
The polar opposite of his demon brother, Phenex angles his body to the right and bows his head gracefully. “Irin, we appreciate your hospitality. It will not be forgotten.”
The Watcher nods in response. “Of course. My doors are always open.”
The next moments feel like sleepwalking. Both Cain and Toyol approach me with a small arsenal and a few gadgets that look to cost more than most homes. I swallow down my trepidation and stand with my head held high, not willing to show the barest inkling of insecurity.
“This is an earpiece,” Toyol says, holding up a tiny black dot. “Once activated, you’ll be able to communicate with each of us through it.”
I nod and dip my head forward to let him secure it to my ear. When he’s done, he holds out the small sensor I wore the first time I visited Irin’s home. The one Legion gingerly placed on the inside of my dress, right against my heart. I still remember the way his warm fingers felt brushing against my breast. I can still smell the masculine scent of his skin—scorched earth and midnight jasmine. And the way his eyes swirled with molten silver as they roamed my body.
That was the Legion I had grown to know and care for. That was the Legion I had laid beside in the darkest hours of night, relishing the heat that emanated from his frame. And when I surrendered my body to him, along with my heart, it was that Legion who took me in his arms and made me feel like the most desired woman on Earth.
And I lost him.
I wanted to prove that my feelings hadn’t changed so badly that I ignored the fact that he was slipping away. He was disappearing, bit by bit, right before my eyes, and I did nothing to stop it. Like a naïve little girl, I just kept hoping he would come back to me.
“Eden? You with me?” Toyol lifts a brow.
“Uh, yeah,” I stammer, carefully taking the censor from his fingertips and securing it against the skin between my breasts. The time for modesty has come and gone.
Toyol gives me a few more items—compact night vision goggles, a high-voltage taser, flares—and sure enough, there’s a pocket for each item as if the jacket was specially made for me. When Cain steps up with the weapons, a dark, nervous energy quakes in my bones.
“These are for you,” he says, handing me a holster outfitted with twin Glock 43s.
He shows me how to secure the firearms, giving me a quick rundown on the specs, and then offers me two other gifts—knives longer than the length of my hand. The hilts are studded with red jewels, much like the ones embedded in The Redeemer. The slightly curved blades are sheathed in thick leather and slide right into two pockets inside my coat. They’re positioned perfectly, and I find I can retrieve them in a hurry without managing to slice off a finger in the process.
“Are you ready for this?” Cain asks me while Toyol outfits Niko with an earpiece. I guess the other gadgets aren’t necessary for the warlock.
“I am,” I reply, mustering what’s left of my confidence.
He nods to himself, busying his hands with the task of securing his own weapons. “The bullets are tipped in angelsbane, a weaponized form of demon blood. It won’t take down a Seraph, but it should subdue them. It’ll work on both lesser angels and demons too. Something Phenex and Jinn have been working on. The blades were forged in Hellfire. They will send lesser demons back to Hell.”
“And is that what we want? To send Legion back to Hell.”
He weighs the words in his mouth before answering. “If it comes to that, that would be the best case scenario.”
“And the worst?”
He shakes his head, and I don’t need to infiltrate his mind to know exactly what he’s thinking. The worst-case scenario is killing him—permanently. I’m not sure how, considering Uriel has The Redeemer, and I’m not even sure I want to know. Uriel made me to be used as a weapon against Legion before the sacred demon blade was even in play, so there must be another way. We just have to make sure we find Legion before the Seraph do.
“You know, if it were up to me, you’d be sitting this one out. You’re untrained,” he remarks. There isn’t criticism or annoyance tainting his tone, but real, genuine concern. And when he looks down at me, it’s not malice that I see narrowing his gaze, but what looks oddly like fear and desperation. “But it’s not up to me, and I understand your choice to go out there. I just… I need you to survive this. I need you to come back to your sister. I don’t think you understand just how much I mean this.”
“I understand.”
“No. You don’t. Because if you did, you’d be with her right now, watching whatever stupid show is on Bravo or Food Network, flipping through trashy magazines, and discussing the latest gossip. She’s not like us, Eden. She hasn’t been beaten and broken more times than she can count. She hasn’t been stitched together like an ugly, mangled rag doll that no one wants to play with. Her pieces still fit. She’s still foolish enough to hope, to dream, to want.”
I never realized Cain saw us as two sides of the same coin, and although the analogy stings, he’s right. Sister hasn’t let life ruin her. She isn’t jaded by pain and strife. And while she had been orphaned at a young age, it wasn’t because her parents didn’t love her. They didn’t abandon her because they chose their own selfish needs over their daughter. They died in a car accident.
I never told her, but I remember envying her for their deaths. I feel terrible, even now, for thinking it. But to know that you were once truly loved the way a parent should love a child was a gift that no one could ever take from her. It was why she could still find it in her heart to hope, to dream, to want. Because she had never forgotten what that felt like. And I had never known what it was to have it in the first place.
“I will,” I tell Cain, meaning it. “I’ll come back to her.”
“Thank you,” he replies. And I realize that my survival isn’t just for my sister. It’s for him as well.
Lilith and Andras approach, and I recognize whom I have to thank for my new clothes, not that I’m surprised. The leather pants fit like a glove, yet provide ample movement and breathability. The thermal is also fitted, and the boots are stylish yet comfortable. This outfit has the blonde duo stamped all over it.
“You look good, girl,” Andras remarks, letting out a low whistle.
“You do,” Lilith adds. “How are you feeling?”
I shrug. “Anxious.”
“You’ll ride with us, Nikolai, and Lucifer. Cain, Toyol, Jinn, and Phenex will be with Adriel in the other car.”
I look to my left, my right, then whisper, “Is that a good idea?”
Lilith steps in close, so we’re nearly chest to chest. “While Luc may be a conniving prick, I trust her even less.”
I follow her line of vision as she turns and glances at Adriel. Jeans, a heavy down jacket, flat boots. Not a weapon in sight.
“You think she’ll betray us?” I ask, turning back to Lilith. Ironic, considering it was Lilith who sold us out to Lucifer, even if it was to protect me, in his own convoluted way.
“I don’t know. She still loves Legion. I…get that.” She offers a pained grin, remembering her own deceit in the name of unrequited love. “I don’t think she would do anything to jeopardize his life.”
I simply nod. If there’s one thing that bonds the three of us, it’s our love for Legion. And if I have to be constantly reminded of their feelings in order to secure his safety, then so be it.
Once everyone is outfitted with their chosen weapons, we bid our goodbyes to Irin and her staff. I don’t even flinch when Kairo wraps his arms around me and leaves a peck on my cheek. He’s been good to me during my stay here. And I have to admit, after seeing him in action with Lucifer—an image that will forever be burned into my skull—I wish I had taken the time to chat with him more.
“May our Lord be with you, my little doves,” Irin trills as we take the basement stairs that lead to the weapons room where Cain and I had target practice. Apparently, there’s a hidden door that leads to an underground garage. It’s where the Se7en hid the vehicles they escaped the city in.
My nerves spike when I spy the matching black SUVs, and a pang of nostalgia strikes my chest. I haven’t been beyond these four walls in what feels like months. And as I slide into the backseat, I can’t help but picture Legion in the driver’s seat instead of Andras, smiling slyly at my song choices. I can still hear the sound of his bellowing laughter, the way its richness would warm the enclosed space like a heated blanket as I tortured him with my singing. I can still picture the way his throat would flex and bob when he threw his head back and succumbed to those rare, jovial moments.
I can still feel him, so all cannot be lost. He has to be out there somewhere. Waiting for me to bring him back.
And I will. Even if it takes every bit of power within me.
Even if I have to surrender my humanity and become the weapon I was created to be.