CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Tyler didn’t regret what he’d said to Billie out on the patio after the meeting with the wedding planner. He’d needed to say it and it was long overdue. What he did regret, however, was the timing. She was already feeling raw and overwrought about the wedding plans. She was overwhelmed by it all and she was upset that he wasn’t too. She was nervous and she wanted him to be nervous with her. She was scared and she wanted to know she wasn’t the only one. He understood that but he’d learned in his life that worrying didn’t get him anywhere. It didn’t solve a damn thing; it only festered and made him second guess his actions. It was better to decide the course and stick to it, making corrections along the way. He and Billie would be fine but she needed to get out of this death spiral she was in, constantly looking for the worst case scenario.
If he had it to do all over again he would have picked a better time. Maybe after a good dinner when they were both relaxed in front of the television. Or after a particularly hard workout when she was too exhausted to argue with him. Too late now. He’d gone off on her and she was probably pissed off at him. To make it up to her he’d gone through the wedding magazines and marked all the pages that he liked. Perhaps if she thought that she wasn’t going to have to make all the decisions alone it might put her in a better mood.
Descending the stairs, the aroma of charred beef tickled his nose and his stomach growled in approval. Billie was grilling and it was the most heavenly smell in the universe. He’d missed lunch today because of meetings with his agent and business manager and his mouth watered as he turned into the kitchen where she was slicing a tomato.
“Hamburgers are on the grill,” she said, barely turning around, but her tone was cheerful and friendly. “I also made some fruit salad and some homemade fries with sea salt. It should be ready in a few minutes.”
This was a pleasant surprise. He’d assumed they’d go to a restaurant where they’d make awkward conversation until one or both of them broke down and apologized. They were never able to stay mad at one another long.
“I love your fries,” he replied, placing his hands on her shoulders and dropping a kiss on her cheek to test how far this friendliness went. In the past she wouldn’t have blinked an eye at his behavior. “I’ll go check on the burgers. Do you want cheese on yours?”
“Absolutely.” She waved her knife to the other counter. “I already pulled it from the refrigerator and sliced it up.”
Grabbing the neat stack of cheddar slices, Tyler headed out onto the back patio to the outdoor kitchen. It had been one of the major selling points of the house he’d purchased sight unseen. He’d given his business manager a list of must-haves while off making movie after movie and this home was what had been selected from that criteria. He hadn’t even decorated it himself. His people had hired a designer and he’d come back exhausted and bleary-eyed to a brand-new home that he’d never seen before but was move-in ready.
He liked the house but if he were truly honest he would have moved a long time ago if Billie hadn’t been living in the guest cottage. He’d always wanted to live at the beach and if Billie wasn’t so spooked about everything changing he’d suggest they start looking for a home in Malibu.
Stopping abruptly in the doorway to the patio, Tyler surveyed the scene before him. Something was clearly going on. The outside table where they ate most of their meals had been set by Billie. Nice dishes, not the paper plates they usually ate from. Flowers and candles. Music from the discreet speakers in the wall. She’d even put a few of his favorite beers on ice.
It almost looked romantic which was silly because they didn’t do romance. They were buddies. Pals. He didn’t think about Billie that way.
Except she had looked very pretty in the short sundress that showed off her long and tanned legs. She’d left her hair down tonight and it came down to the middle of her back like a silky dark curtain. He didn’t often think about how Billie looked but it was times like these that reminded him that she was a beautiful woman.
He was going to be her husband and suddenly that took on all sorts of meanings that it didn’t have before. He’d been rather flip about sharing a bed with her but that’s exactly what they were eventually going to do. He hadn’t thought that he cared whether it was sooner or later but he found that he did. Quite a bit. Sooner was much better and it didn’t have anything to do with the fact that he hadn’t slept with anyone in awhile.
It had everything to do with her.
Friendship and sex. It was a powerful combination. So many men only had one or the other.
He checked the burgers and added the cheese and had just placed the platter of cheeseburgers on the table when she joined him, a bowl in each hand.
“Are you ready to eat?” he asked, watching her closely. He’d known this woman for five years and she didn’t set a semi-fancy table for cheeseburgers and fries. There was more going on and he couldn’t wait to find out what it was.
Settling into a chair, she pushed the bowl of fruit salad toward him. “Starving. The burgers look great.”
“You did most of the work. Thanks for making dinner.”
Awkward. This was terribly awkward. They weren’t people who did small talk. Soon they would be discussing the fucking weather.
They ate mostly in silence, the music in the background soothing to his frazzled nervous system. He didn’t want Billie to hate him but it appeared that’s exactly what he’d done. Perhaps this nice dinner was to soften the blow of telling him she was breaking things off.
Billie popped a fry in her mouth. “It’s supposed to rain tomorrow so we might not get to go on a run.”
Weather. Shit. He couldn’t take this anymore.
Swallowing a bite of melon, he placed his fork on his plate with a clatter. “Just for fuck’s sake yell at me, baby girl. If you’re mad, say it so we can get past this. I can’t take the passive-aggressive bullshit.”
Instead of letting loose on him, Billie calmly dabbed at her mouth with a napkin before replying. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at me. That’s why I made dinner tonight. I wanted to show you that I’m sorry and that I’m going to try harder.” She sighed, her lips turning down. “I miss you too.”
“I never went away, babe.”
“I was pushing you away.” She dropped her head into her hands for a long moment and then finally looked up. “I’m so freaked out about losing you as a friend if this all goes sideways. I don’t think you realize how important to me you’ve become. You’re practically my whole world.”
She’d choked on the last words, her moss green eyes bright with tears. A pain ripped through Tyler’s heart and it was all he could do not to leap over the table and pull her into his arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. He’d rather cut off his own arm than let Billie be unhappy for even a second.
In fact, what the hell was he waiting for? Why was he just sitting there? This was his best friend and now fiancée. He should comfort and care for her. He started to rise but Billie shook her head and waved him back into his chair.
“Don’t. If you come over here I won’t be able to say what I need to say, and it’s important that I do.”
Fear clawed at his insides and he had to force himself to stay seated and not panic. He’d been right when he came downstairs. Something was definitely up with Billie.
“You’re important to me too,” he said, trying to keep his tone soothing. Her lips were trembling and she’d paled as if in fear. “You’re my best friend, babe. I’d die for you. You know that, right?”
She tried to smile and laugh. “I don’t want to test that theory. I just need to tell you something, okay? And I need you not to react until I’m done. Can you do that for me?”
Probably not. He wasn’t known for his patience but for her he’d try. She hadn’t even told him what it was yet but already he was nervously sweating, his heart pounding against his ribcage.
“I will. What do you need to tell me?”
Straightening her shoulders, Billie took a deep breath. “I have family. Not much of one really but I do have one.”
Honestly he’d always assumed she didn’t have a soul in the world, perhaps an orphan. She’d never once mentioned anyone and only referred to her life before Los Angeles in the vaguest of terms. She hadn’t wanted to talk about it and he’d respected that. His mind couldn’t help but drift back to his office and the file folder he’d shoved in one of the drawers. Out of sight but not out of mind. Was she about to tell him what was contained there?
“Okay,” he said cautiously. “I have to say that I’m kind of surprised.”
Gobsmacked was a better word, but whatever.
“I have a sister,” she confessed, her gaze studiously avoiding him. “A twin sister.”
Freakin’ twins? She had a twin? What in the ever-loving fuck?
“A twin?” he repeated. “You’ve never mentioned her, Billie.”
Her head snapped up when he used her name, which he didn’t do often. She had to know that although he appeared calm he was becoming increasingly upset. How could she have had a fucking twin sister and not mentioned that to him in the last five years? It made a mockery of how close they were supposed to be.
Rubbing the back of his neck, he pushed his plate away. Food was the last thing on his mind. He wanted to hear Billie’s story.
“Maybe you should start at the beginning.”