My body is shaking uncontrollably. I am not sure if I am cold or if the shock of everything that has happened is wearing off. The spray is hitting the top of my head, my hands braced against the shower wall. Arms wrap around my middle, his warmth covering me like a blanket.

Konrad just left; he checked me out from head to toe. Wilder would barely let him touch me at all. I have a knot at the top of my head where I was knocked out. That was all that happened to me.

I do not regret doing what I did for him and the others. If I hadn’t we would all be dead; there is no question.

Wilder’s hands circle my small stomach bump, and my hands rest on top of his.

“I had to, Wilder,” I whisper.

He pulls me against him. “Sweet girl, I know why you did it.”

I close my eyes and kiss the side of his neck.

“You’re so fucking brave, but it fucking killed me, Joslyn.” His body is shaking just as hard as mine.

I cover my mouth so I don’t scream. “My love, I love you so much. If I could do something to save you, I would.”

His hand smashes into the wall, cracking the tile. “It’s ingrained in every part of my soul to protect you, and them taking you right in fucking front of me. Killed me. My world ended, right there.” He spins me around, facing me. “Because you’re my world, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, which is why I did what I could to save you.”

He picks me up, and I cling to him for dear life. “Don’t be mad at Travis and Tristan,” I whisper and he nods.

A few minutes later he turns off the water, stepping out of the shower, and we go straight to our bed. “Love me, Wilder.” I tug his face over to look at me. He searches my face, and he moves me to the head of the bed. “No foreplay. I just want you.”

He twines his fingers together, resting them by my head. He slowly enters me, and I raise my legs, tucking them against his sides. I needed this. I really needed this. To feel him, to tie me back to reality. That everything is okay. I am safe right here.

He lowers his head and kisses me slowly, deeply. I can feel all of his emotions. The fear, the hurt, everything else that he has been feeling.

One thing I will never admit to him was how scared I was. God, was I scared. I am not a female who is badass. I was scared, but I will do whatever it takes to protect what’s mine.

His slow, gentle, and tender movements are drawing the pleasure out. Neither one of us wanting this moment to end, I wrap my arms around his neck, his face tucked into the side of my neck.

I tighten around him, and he twists his hips causing me to fall over the edge, shattering into a million pieces. He comes right along with me, his body shaking.

He slowly moves beside me, curling completely around me. “Don’t do that again, sweet girl,” he whispers and closes his eyes.

I hate with every part of my soul that he is hurting so much, but it was my choice and I have to live with it. The most important part is that we are alive. It had to be done, and he would have done the same thing without hesitation.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, sweet girl.” He covers my jaw with his hand, his leg thrown over mine.

* * *

Hours later, I wake up with the urge to use the bathroom. I slowly slip out of the bed, making sure I don’t wake him.

The moment I wash my hands, Wilder yells, and I hear him jump off the bed. I walk out of the bathroom to see him standing in the middle of the floor with a panicked look on his face.

Oh my God.

I run over to him. He is standing stoically, just staring at me. My arms wrap around his middle.

“I woke up and I thought my nightmare had come true.”

“I am right here.” I rub the back of his neck, calming him. He climbs back in bed, pulling me with him until I am lying on his chest.

“Sleep,” I whisper

I hate this so much.

* * *

“What do you want for breakfast?” I ask him. I am on his lap on the couch. The moment we woke up, we went downstairs and cuddled on the couch. The house is quiet and usually, right about now, Travis is here.

“You.”

I laugh.

There is a knock at the door, and we look over to see Travis. Wilder motions for him to come in, and he steps inside. I can see that he is uneasy about it all.

“I was about to make breakfast. What do you want?” I ask him.

He relaxes and plops down on the couch next to me. “Anything you want to make.” He looks at Wilder before he pulls me over, hugging me. “I am glad you’re okay.”

Wilder pulls me back to him a second later.

“Wilder, why don’t you book an appointment with the baby doctor for a checkup? I’m going to make breakfast.” Wilder walks out of the room, on the phone, and Travis is watching him. “He is on edge,” I whisper.

Travis looks at the floor and swallows hard. “He was in bad shape yesterday, Jos.”

“I know. I had to, though, Travis. It killed me,” I whisper, ducking my head to hide the tears.

“I know, Jos, he loves you and it killed him to see you in danger like that.”

“I love him too, but you’re also my family. I did it for all of you.”

He smiles, letting the old Travis out. “Now I am craving some cinnamon rolls.” He helps me off the couch and leaves the room.

I turn off the phone, having booked her appointment, which is in a couple of hours. It pays to have some doctors in your pocket. Travis walks into the room. “I didn’t mean it,” I say.

“I know, man, I understand.”

I sit in the library, looking out the window. “Yesterday was fucked up, I was scared for the first time in my life,” I admit, because it’s fucking true. That shit will forever leave a mark.

Joslyn came in and took me over. She is the only woman I have ever loved. It’s ingrained in me to protect her, to make sure she is safe—and her being in a place where I didn’t know what was happening, that was the worst feeling in the world. What are they doing to her? What if they are hurting her? Those thoughts were constantly in my mind, but it made me realize one thing.

I love her in a way not many people ever experience. I am one lucky bastard, and I will live every day like it’s my last.

I stand up. “Well if you will quit fucking staring at me, I will go help my woman make breakfast.”

Travis smacks my shoulder, laughing. “I will just stare at your woman then.”

I push him hard into the wall and press his face against it. “Look at her, I will kill you.” He just laughs. If you beat his ass he laughs, but he will kill you laughing.

Crazy fucker is what he is.

I let him go and walk into the kitchen. Joslyn is standing there with an apron on that has a man’s abs on the front. I laugh and she turns around, grinning at me.

She is still the same Joslyn. This shit is not affecting her. She is the strongest woman I have ever met.

“The doc told us to come by in a few hours.”

She whips around and throws flour on me, covering my beard and the front of my shirt.

“Oh Baby, what did you do?”

“Oh Baby, what did you do?” He gives me that wicked look. I have my Wilder back.

“You mean this?” I throw the flour again, covering him head to toe.

He shakes out his beard and dusts off his shirt. “You have a five-second head start.” He arches an eyebrow, smirking. “One...”

I run into the living room. Travis looks surprised to see me running. “He’s coming!” I scream. Travis lifts the couch cushions, and I burrow under them. He buries me in cushions and sits on one.

Wilder walks into the room, and I hold my breath. He walks past us and runs up the stairs. I push the cushions up and hurry back into the kitchen, and I hide in one of the cabinets.

This is not the first time Wilder and I have done this. Last time I hid for a good thirty minutes. Every time he would leave a room, I would go to another; then he would beg me to come out.

The cabinet door opens slightly, and Travis looks inside and shuts it.

“She in here?” Wilder asks.

I suck in my lips to hide my laughter.

“Nah man, I am just cleaning up.”

Wilder is going to kill him. Wilder walks out of the room, and I let out a giggle that I couldn’t hold back anymore.

For the next thirty minutes this goes on and on, until Wilder comes back to the kitchen. “Where the fuck is she? Are you hiding her?”

I hear a thump, and I guess that is Wilder pushing him out of the way. The cabinet door swings open and Wilder looks inside. “Caught you, you little shit.” He pulls me out and kisses me.

“Let’s just drive through and get something,” I suggest, because the kitchen has been completely cleaned. I take off my apron and toss it onto the counter. I have on a pair of jeans and a shirt. I’m going as is; there is no way I feel like going back upstairs to change. “I am going to call your mom, tell her to meet us there.”

Me: Meet @ the baby doc in an hour?

Her: I will be there. You okay?

Me: I am perfectly okay <3

“Let’s go.”

* * *

“He is perfectly okay, everything is normal,” the doctor says, and we all let out relieved sighs. I knew he was okay because he was kicking, but the worry is always there.

“He lets it all out, no shame there.” I laugh, looking at the monitor. There is no denying it: he is Wilder’s son. I look at Wilder from the corner of my eye to see him smirking. Cocky should have been his middle name. Darla takes the pictures from the doctor, and she keeps one for herself and gives the rest to us.

My stomach growls while Wilder is wiping my belly with a napkin. “I guess the baby is hungry this time,” he says. I flush in embarrassment.

Walker comes into the room, and the doctor leaves. I think, on the down low, she was informed of went down, but only in small bits. Walker glances at the pictures in my hand, and I give them to him.

“How are you, baby girl?” His voice is deeper than usual.

“I am fine, Dad.”

He seems to relax. “I heard my grandson was hungry.” We all laugh but I catch Darla wiping away a tear.

This ordeal has affected us all, but it has brought us all closer. We are a family. It may be screwed up in some respects, but normal is way overrated.

I am fine with the way it is.