Cash’s plane landed early, and he grabbed a coffee in the private members’ lounge while he waited for Natalia to arrive. He’d rather have picked her up at the paper, but she’d insisted on meeting him here.

Even though it had been two days since she’d told him she was moving in, he could still hardly believe it, and adding that to the stunning news he’d received on Tuesday, he felt like the luckiest man in the world.

The trust she was placing in him was more than a little overwhelming, and he had to remind himself about how difficult such a huge change would be for her. He couldn’t let her down.

He wouldn’t let her down.

His leg bounced as he grew impatient to see her. He glanced at his watch. She was five minutes late, and he wondered if there was a problem on the DLR. He googled the Transport for London website, but apart from a slight delay on the Jubilee line, there didn’t seem to be a problem. When five minutes turned into fifteen, he rang her mobile. The call went straight to voicemail, meaning she was either engaged or her phone was switched off. He tried again with the same result.

An anxious feeling clawed at his insides. What if something had happened to her? If she’d got stuck at work or on the way to meet him, she would have called. He found the number for the paper and dialled reception. As it was past business hours, he got through to security, who put him through to Natalia’s landline. After the phone rang several times, he was diverted back to security. He asked to be put through to Pete.

Pete didn’t pick up either. Cash’s heart began to race. He wiped damp palms on his jeans. Something wasn’t right.

He left the lounge and headed for the taxi rank. The queue snaked around the corner, and he cursed. Rush hour on a Friday at City Airport, and this is what you get. He was approached by a couple of fans looking for selfies, but he shook his head and pulled his cap lower. It took thirty minutes to reach the front of the line, and during the wait, he kept calling Natalia, but each time, the call went straight to voicemail.

Finally, his turn arrived. He jumped into the cab and he gave the driver Natalia’s address. The traffic was awful. The cab kept stopping and starting, and with every delay, his angst grew. She still hadn’t answered her phone. Please, God, let her be okay. Don’t snatch her away just as I’ve found her.

The cab pulled up outside Natalia’s flat. A light was on in the living room, so someone had to be home. His heart was pounding as he knocked on the door. The living room curtains twitched, and then a few seconds later, Emmalee opened the door, her face smouldering, her eyes cold.

He frowned. “Hey, Emmalee. Is Natalia home? She was supposed to meet me but didn’t turn up.”

“What the fuck do you care?” she said, shoving him hard in the chest as he began to walk inside.

“What?”

“I should have known. Once a cock, always a cock. Fuck off, Cash, before I call the police.”

She slammed the door, but he managed to ram his foot into the gap. He shoved hard, and the door bounced open.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he said, brushing past her into the hallway.

“Get out of my house,” Emmalee said between gritted teeth. “You are not wanted here.”

“I’m going nowhere. Not until I get some answers.”

He marched into the living room. Natalia was sitting with her knees curled into her chest and her arms wrapped around them. Her face was red and blotchy and her eyes bloodshot from crying.

“Baby, you’re all right,” he said, making a move towards her.

She held up her hand. “Stop. Don’t come near me.”

He ignored her, crouching down at the side of the chair. As he reached for her hand, she snatched it away.

“Don’t touch me,” she hissed. “Don’t you dare touch me.”

“I-I don’t understand.”

Emmalee coughed out a laugh behind him. “Sure you don’t.”

His head snapped around. “I said I fucking don’t.”

“Em, it’s okay. I need to do this. Give me five minutes, will you?”

Cash shot a triumphant look at Emmalee. He didn’t have a clue what was going on but wasn’t going to find out with her snapping at his heels. She nodded at Natalia, glared at Cash with intense loathing, and left them alone.

“Please tell me what’s going on, baby.”

“Don’t you dare call me baby. I’m not your baby.”

Cash frowned and dug his fingers into his temple. “Tell me what I’m supposed to have done, because I sure as hell don’t have a clue.”

She sneered, the edge of her top lip curling upwards. “So that’s your plan. Play dumb? Well, too bad for you, the camera doesn’t lie.”

His frown deepened. “Camera? What the fuck are you talking about?”

Natalia leaned forward and picked up a brown padded envelope off the coffee table. She reached inside and took out a bunch of photographs, her face twisting as she glanced down.

“Here,” she said, thrusting the contents at him.

Confused, he looked at the first picture, and then, when he flicked through the rest, his head jerked upwards.

“This isn’t how it looks.”

“You are such a cliché, Cash,” Natalia said. “Of course it isn’t how it looks. How stupid of me to think that a picture of you kissing another woman would be anything other than what it is.”

Sweat broke out on his forehead as panic rushed through him. “Where did you get these?”

“I don’t see how that matters, but if you must know, they were sent to work.” She laughed mirthlessly. “You’ve pissed off enough paps over the years. You must have made someone’s day when you snogged another woman.”

Cash scrubbed a hand over his face. “You don’t understand.”

“Who is she?”

His teeth grazed his bottom lip, and he blinked slowly before meeting her gaze. He wanted to lie, but the truth slipped out. “Gracie.”

Natalia sucked in a breath. “I knew it,” she said softly.

Cash knelt in front of her and grabbed her arms, expecting her to throw him off, but she was limp. Lifeless.

“This is not what you think. Gracie is an important presence in my life but not for the reasons going through your head. There is nothing romantic between us.”

She laughed bitterly. “Well, of course not. I often kiss men that I have no romantic involvement with. Wait until you get those pictures.”

The sudden surge of agony surprised him even though she was trying to be facetious. Thoughts of Natalia kissing someone else were too fucking painful to acknowledge.

“Please let me explain.”

She shrugged him off then and pressed her body into the back of the chair, as far away from him as she could get. She waved her hand dismissively. “Go on, then. I’m listening.”

“I have never had any romantic feelings for Gracie. Ever. She is… helping me with something in my personal life. But it’s not how it looks in these pictures.”

“What is she helping you with?”

“I… I can’t tell you.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Can’t. Not yet. Natalia, trust me, please. I’ve told you time and time again to trust me, yet still you can’t. What do I have to do?”

“Stop kissing other women!” She grabbed the incriminating-looking photograph and shoved it against his chest. “You are kissing her, Cash. As I said, the camera doesn’t lie. I’m sick of your lies and your secrets. I’ve had enough.”

“Natalia, please––”

She held her hand in the air, cutting him off. “No. I want you to leave. You knew the deal-breaker, Cash. I never want to see you again.”

Defeated, his shoulders dropped. He wanted to tell her everything, but when he did, he’d lose not only her but potentially his whole career too. He couldn’t risk that. “I’m not leaving. Not until you hear what I’m saying. Gracie means nothing to me.”

“I don’t believe you. And I don’t trust you.”

Her words cut through him, slicing right through his heart. He grabbed her hand and pressed it to his face.

“Natalia, I love you. I’m in love with you. I can’t lose you.”

There, he’d finally said it. For a split second, he thought she was going to cave. And then she yanked her hand out of his grasp and glared at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You utter bastard, Cash. Anyway, it doesn’t matter what you say. You’ve already lost me.”

Cash reached out his hand once more, but when Natalia recoiled, he let it fall to his side. “This isn’t over. It can’t be over.”

A single tear spilled down Natalia’s face. “Then how come it is?”

“I won’t accept that.”

Natalia sighed softly. “It’s not your decision. It’s mine.” She turned her back on him, wrapping her arms around herself. “I need you to leave.”

Cash swept a hand over the back of his head. “Okay, I’m leaving.” He turned around, pausing in the doorway. “But I’m not giving up. I’ll find a way to make you believe me, because I can’t let you go.”

 

* * *

 

As the front door clicked shut, Tally dropped onto the sofa and curled into a ball. She put her head in her hands and sobbed, only remembering she wasn’t alone when Emmalee’s hand rested on her shoulder. She pulled Tally into her arms and rocked her like a baby.

“I’ve got you,” she said. “Shall I call Pete?”

“No. Please don’t.” Huge sobs wracked Tally’s body. The pain at Cash’s betrayal was beyond anything she’d ever had to suffer. Her insides felt shredded, and she wanted to claw at her face, to smash everything in sight, to hit out at those she loved.

She wanted to die.

Em held her until she stopped crying, her silent condemnation of Cash filling the room like a thick blanket of fog. “I could fucking kill him,” she muttered under her breath.

She wiped Tally’s face with a crumpled tissue before disappearing into the kitchen. She was back a minute or so later. “Here,” she said, thrusting a glass of brandy under Tally’s nose. “Drink.”

“Urgh,” Tally said, wondering why brandy was always the go-to choice for shock. She hated the stuff but took a sip anyway. An overwhelming need to have a moment alone washed over her, and she started to get up until Em put a hand on her arm.

“Where are you going?”

“Don’t worry,” Tally said, patting Em’s hand. “I’m not going to slash my wrists or anything.”

“Not funny, Tal.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m going to wash my face, that’s all.” She trudged into the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot and her skin red and blotchy. As she thought about those photographs and Cash’s insistence he’d done nothing wrong, the hole in her chest grew wider, and she wrapped her arms around her body as though trying to hold herself together. She’d known a breakup would cause emotional pain, but the physical agony was a terrible side effect she hadn’t bargained for.

She rinsed a flannel in warm water and scrubbed her face. She expected to look different somehow, but apart from the temporary alterations caused by crying so much, she looked exactly the same on the outside. The inside was a different story, however. She’d changed, her broken heart not quite fitting right when she tried to glue it together, as though pieces of the jigsaw were missing.

She pulled the bathroom door shut behind her and headed into the kitchen. The smell of grilling bacon made her stomach roll.

“Not for me,” she said, pulling up a chair at the kitchen table.

“You need to eat,” Em insisted, but Tally shook her head

“I can’t. I’ll be sick.” She went to the fridge and poured herself a large glass of wine.

“That’s not the answer.”

“Then tell me what is!”

Em kept her eyes locked with Tally’s and silently watched her knock back at least half the glass of wine in one go. Tally carefully placed the glass on the kitchen table when what she really wanted to do was throw it at the wall.

“Tell me what to do, Em,” she said softly, her voice beginning to crack.

Emmalee eased the glass out of Tally’s reach. “I can’t, babes.”

“He said he loved me,” she said in a whisper.

Em sighed. “As much as it pains me to say it, I think he does, Tal. In his own way. But a man like Cash… I don’t think monogamy is a word he understands. Sooner or later, he’d have fucked up. If it wasn’t with this Gracie, it would have been with someone else.”

Tally winced as Em said the name of her nemesis out loud. “You’re right,” she said, shaking her head sadly as the realisation of what she would have to do slotted home.

“I can’t stay here, Em. I have to get away. At least for a few weeks. Cash said he would be back, and he will. He won’t leave me alone because I’m the one who ended it. He truly believes he’s done nothing wrong, and if I don’t go, I’ll never be free of him.”

Em dashed her tears away away before they had a chance to fall. “Where will you go?”

“Probably Pete’s place in Brighton. I’m sure he won’t mind loaning it to me for a while.”

“But what will I do without you?” Em whispered.

“I was going anyway.” Then Tally’s face crumpled. “It’s not so far, and it won’t be forever. Just until Cash gives up.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“He will. In the end.” Tally wearily got to her feet and kissed Em’s cheek. “Hope you don’t mind, but I need to be alone.”

Tally closed the bedroom door and climbed under the covers. She retrieved her phone from the bedside table and flicked through pictures of her and Cash together during the last few weeks. Paris, Rotterdam, Northern Ireland. She didn’t need Google anymore. She had her own images. Personal, wonderful images that were too painful to look at for very long.

She tossed her phone to the side and curled her body into a ball. The pain was like experiencing a death, and in a way, she supposed that was exactly what it was: the death of a perfect future that had been cruelly snatched away.

Tally stared into the well of despair—a familiar sight but one she’d hoped never to see again. As she plummeted into the darkness, she closed her eyes and allowed her tears to fall.

 

 

 

 

Turn the page for preorder links for Losing Game, Book Two in the Winning Ace Series where Cash and Tally’s story continues, and a little sneak peak at Chapter 1