Jade
COMFORTABLE AND WARM, I didn’t want to wake from my rest even though I heard Blaze as she pounded on the glass door. Had I locked her out? Or had she left in secrecy to go to Reece in the middle of the night and forgotten her key? I was halfway between sleep and time to get up modes when I also heard Daniel. I vaguely wondered why Blaze was still knocking on the door and why Daniel was in my house ready to let her back in. My subconscious questions were answered as I felt warm lips kiss my cheek and whisper in my ear.
“Good morning, Jade, how did you sleep?” My heart stopped and my breath hitched in one brief second. That voice was Tommy’s.
Oh no, I slept with him? I didn't think I drank all that much last night. Wait a minute. Waking further, I knew no matter how much I drank, if I slept with Tommy I would absolutely remember it. Tommy had the body a woman wouldn’t easily forget. I peeled my eyes open carefully, one at a time, and looked down. There was a huge Native American Indian blanket that covered me. I realized then, I must have fallen asleep during our talk last night and Tommy had covered me.
GOD…this could have been embarrassing.
It did get pretty emotional for me when I spoke about my brother Jimmy. I remembered I had begun to cry when Tommy wiped my tears and pulled me to him. He was tender, and he made me feel comfortable. I was completely at ease with him; I must have become totally relaxed and fell asleep.
Blaze halted her assault on Tommy’s door when Daniel let her in. They both approached Tommy and me on his couch. Daniel grinned and Blaze was somewhat awestruck.
“I can’t believe it. You slept with him…already? That’s so not like you.” Blaze wrongly observed with wide-eyes.
“I guess you're right, it appears I have,” I toyed with her.
“You could have at least called me to let me know you were okay.”
“Blaze, have you lost your mind? I was right next door. What trouble could I have possibly gotten into from my deck to Tommy’s?”
She crossed her arms and cocked her eyebrow, as she gave me a bit of a judgmental look. She had to be kidding? She was going to disapprove of my actions last night when she was sleeping with not only an older man but one that she had been sneaking around with for six months and kept her relationship with him a secret from me the entire time they had been together.
“I suggest whatever that look is on your face, you get rid of it and quick,” I said, as I untangled myself from the blanket and stood up to face my friends.
“What look?” She was being coy.
“Exactly,” I said and turned my attention to Daniel.
“Good Morning, Daniel, I hope my intrusion last night didn’t disturb you?”
“No, not at all, I haven’t slept this good in months,” Daniel replied.
“It must be the ocean air,” I added.
I looked around and picked up my phone from the coffee table. It was 6am. Wow, 6am and Blaze was awake. She really must have been worried. I had to be at the shoppe for 8, so I needed to get a shower and some coffee. I was about to say goodbye when Tommy pulled me close.
“Stay and have coffee with me.” His bright eyes searched for my response, as the morning light hit them. His hands holding my upper arms, gently, as he waited for my decision.
When I turned to look at Blaze and Daniel, they both tried to hide their amusement. Oh, sure, now she’s okay with this. I turned back to Tommy, but before I could ask for a raincheck, he was asking Blaze to stay, as well. She eagerly agreed and made herself at home on one of the stools at the island in the kitchen. Daniel followed her but settled at the kitchen table.
“I guess we’re staying,” I said to Tommy.
“Good, you get the breakfast treats and I’ll make the coffee.” Then he kissed the tip of my nose and walked into the kitchen to join our friends. His actions made me smile, which surprised me. I didn't want to be with any man and I still don’t, but Tommy’s carefree attitude was making my decision more difficult, especially since I struggled with the fact I just met him.
Before retrieving the breakfast, I called the shoppe to let them know that, yet again, I was going to be late. I couldn't continue to make a habit of this. I only worked about six months out of the year to begin with, and I had a business to run. I was certainly not setting a good example for my staff, especially being late two days in a row and on the first weekend of the new season. I ended the call and joined Tommy, Daniel, and Blaze seconds later with the breakfast I had brought over last night, which got me into this situation in the first place. Once everything was on the table, we sat down together to talk. Blaze, of course, needed to know everything, so she started the conversation.
“So now will you tell me what happened? What had you sleeping on Tommy’s couch in the first twenty-four hours you know him?” She was insistent and finally realized sleeping on my neighbor’s couch didn’t mean sleeping with my neighbor.
“Tommy had asked me about my relationship with Damien and how we met, so I started to tell him the story.”
“Okay, but that still doesn’t explain why you fell asleep here.”
“I was okay until I got to the part about Jimmy.”
“Oh,” Blaze said, but that was all she said. My statement explained everything. She knew how hard it still was for me.
“Yeah, oh,” I flatly repeated.
“So, Tommy knows everything now?” Daniel asked and as I took a sip of my delicious brew, Tommy answered his friend.
“No, we were getting to that point, but when I saw our talk was upsetting Jade, I cut it short.”
“So he doesn’t know all of it?” Blaze addressed me.
I shook my head.
“What… don’t I know?” Tommy was confused.
“Are you going to tell him, or should I?”
“I’ll tell him.”
“Would you like Blaze and me to give you and Tommy some privacy?” Daniel asked. He was always so considerate. He knew much of the story and felt that maybe it was something I needed to discuss alone with Tommy. Probably because it could become even more emotionally charged than last night.
“No, Daniel, both you and Blaze should stay. You both know what went on. There are no secrets here.” I really think I asked them to stay more for moral support. I was afraid to get close to Tommy. I was extremely attracted to him, but I had promised myself not to get deeply involved with any man since Damien. I knew if our friends stayed here, there would be less of a chance for intimacy between Tommy and myself. What happened between Tommy and me last night was one thing, but I couldn’t lead him on. I had basically abused his kindness when I told Reece that Tommy and I were in a relationship. I wouldn’t take any further advantage of him.
“Okay, but just say the word and Blaze and I will get lost,” he said, as he gave me his sweet smile.
Tommy placed his hand over mine. “You don’t have to do this.”
I placed my free hand on his and took a moment before I finished what I had started last night; looking at him wasn't an option.
“It’s okay, Tommy. Thank you, but I’m fine now.” I paused to collect my thoughts and myself. “Let’s see. I told you about The Mavericks and Jimmy going to the Center where he met Daniel.” I rehashed part of last night’s conversation.
“Yeah, you had said Jimmy passed away,” Tommy’s low hesitant tone proved it was a tough statement for him to make.
I took a deep breath, his grip tightened further. His support helped me to continue and helped me to look up at him.
“I remember when your brother and I first met. He was one angry son of a bitch. Yet, later on, after many arguments and long late-night discussions, we became really close. Damn, I miss him.” Daniel became teary-eyed. Using my free hand, I reached out to Daniel, nodding in agreement with his assessment of my brother.
Daniel knew exactly how Jimmy felt. Yet, Daniel would always say that someone who is born with his condition has somewhat of an easier time psychologically in dealing with it, because they only know that one way of life. Whereas, Jimmy’s life changed in an instant from one bad decision…a decision he himself made. It was a hard thing for any person in Jimmy’s position to live with, because he had to live with himself knowing it was his choice that put him in the condition he was in at that time.
“Eventually, Jimmy did settle in and became one of the art directors at the Center. He loved to draw and take photographs. He also became a counselor like Daniel. Life started to improve for him. Even his relationship with my dad had gotten better.”
“Jade, I don’t mean to interrupt, but I’m kind of confused. Yesterday you said Jimmy passed away on his 37th birthday. Did his health take a turn for the worse or were there complications no one was aware of?” Tommy struggled with my explanation, but his confusion was justified. I couldn’t blame him. He didn’t know what to expect after last night and being that I hadn’t elaborated on how my brother died, now I had no choice but to tell Tommy the complete story.
“Yes, his emotional health did suffer greatly and in many ways silently. I mean to say we knew he was distraught. No one needed an explanation about that, but there was a great deal of pain that my brother was feeling, which we weren't fully aware of. Pain that he kept inside and pain that in the end, destroyed him.” I had to let what I said sink in and in doing so, Blaze took over.
“Yeah, and through no fault of his own,” Blaze added. I loved my friend. She supported me through all of this. She knew as well as I did what sent my brother over the edge. I mean who sent him over the edge…Courtney.
I smiled supportively at Blaze. She understood and got up to kiss the top of my head and squeeze my shoulder before she walked over to the counter to retrieve more coffee.
“What Blaze means is that my brother had been in a long-term relationship with someone, but after his accident, her demeanor towards him began to change.”
“I see,” Tommy said with a bit of sadness and a hint of disgust.
“You don’t know the half of it.” Blaze chimed in once more.
“Huh?” Tommy remarked.
A sympathetic smile crossed my lips. Tommy was confused, so I continued. Even though I knew up until now wasn’t the toughest part I had to reveal to Tommy, and I knew it would hurt me even further, but for some strange reason I needed for him to hear all of it. I don’t know why I felt I needed to be this forthcoming to a man I hardly knew, but a man I wanted to know better, even if it was just to become good friends.
“You see before Jimmy went out to The Mavericks, he had proposed to his girlfriend and she had agreed wholeheartedly to marry him. Then, after the accident, she was understandably scared and confused. In the beginning, Jimmy was very bitter. Sometimes even cruel. He would kick her out of his hospital room. He would look for any excuse to have an argument with her. I believe he did it to make her break up with him, but she never did.”
“No, she did a hell of a lot worse in my opinion. That bitch drove him to his death,” Blaze lost it and her temper.
We all stared at her.
“I’m sorry, Jade, but it had to be said,” Blaze stated, and then quietly retreated in her chair, as she stared outside; her grimace reflected the swirl of emotions Blaze was dealing with inside. Her emotions were in a fight with each other as she spoke of Jimmy.
“Go on, Jade,” Tommy mildly prompted me to continue.
“I’m sorry to say the way it turned out proved Blaze wasn’t wrong about Jimmy’s girlfriend. What she said to him on the day before his birthday is what killed him. I mean…it’s what made him kill himself.” It was still hard to say it after all this time, but in some strange way telling Tommy was cathartic.
“You can stop now if you need to.” Tommy was being sensitive, but Blaze halted that in its tracks.
“Oh, please don’t stop her now. Everyone in her family stops her from speaking about it. Let her speak. You need to hear the rest.” Blaze’s anger was palpable and for good reason.
“Tommy, I’m fine. I know this may be hard for you to believe, but this has been somewhat liberating for me.” My heart began to race. I needed to get it out…all of it. It was liberating, but not without heartbreak.
Tommy nodded. I wasn’t sure if he fully understood, but he was respectful throughout my entire story. I needed to end this once and for all, especially for my own sanity.
“We had gotten the call at 10 am. It was the 4th of July, ironically my brother’s birthday was on Independence Day. They wouldn’t say over the phone what had happened, just that we needed to get there. My parents were down here with Viv, and I was with Blaze in the city. Damien was in LA with his dad on business. When we got there, the doctors at the Center had explained that Jimmy somehow managed to get up to the balcony on the third floor which over-looked the fountains in the gardens at the Center. He was then able to lift his body up just enough to topple over it. My brother fell to his death.” The darkness, the image I created in my head of Jimmy going over the railing shook in my voice.
I looked at the coffee in my cup as the all too familiar lump of clay formed in my throat and those tears I remembered so well burned my eyes. The silence in the room drowned out the waves of the ocean that roared only steps away from us. Yet, a part of me was liberated when telling the story to Tommy. The other part endured the pain… my brother was gone. In a split second my life changed. I knew Jimmy had been unhappy, yet he seemed to have adjusted very well. He was the one person who never took life for granted. Because of that, I never thought his sadness would be the sum of all his fears and those fears would have forced my fearless Jimmy took to end his own life.
“Let’s shut this down. No more, I don’t need to hear any more. I understand.” Tommy whispered, but Blaze wouldn’t let it go. She wanted me to tell him all of it because she was right, the story wasn’t done yet. It needed its not so happy ending to make it complete.
“Tommy, let her finish it.” Blaze pushed.
“Maybe Tommy’s right. Why rehash it?” Daniel said, trying to reason with Blaze.
Blaze was about to speak, but I beat her to it.
“It’s okay. I’m almost done, and I’d like for Tommy to know the truth… all of it. You’ll understand why I did what I did yesterday. Why I came downstairs in my underwear and yelled about the rose vines. Why I did what I did at the party…once I’m finished, you’ll understand all of it.”
“Okay, it’s your story to tell. Go on,” Tommy said.
“After Jimmy died, I was beside myself with grief. I wouldn’t go to work. I barely ate. I just wasn’t me anymore. Part of me died with Jimmy. Damien tried his best to make things somewhat normal, but it finally took its toll on him. He was spending more time away from me and the shore and more time in New York. He traveled more. Our relationship began to unravel. Finally, I knew I had to do something, so I quit my job at the restaurant and moved down here to my parents’ house on the other end of LBI. I had been going back and forth from here to the city, but when my parents offered to sell me the land next door to my childhood home, I had decided to build a place of my own and open Summertime Sweets. I felt better and for a while, my relationship with Damien seemed to be improving. Then one weekend I had told Damien I’d be going into the city to stay with Blaze. He was away on business and said he’d be back from France on Monday. Blaze’s meeting fell through, so we agreed that we would come down here instead and relax before Damien returned. It was late when we drove back from the city on Saturday evening. I had noticed that Damien’s car was in the driveway and the first-floor lights were on. We went inside, but there was no one around, yet we heard something upstairs, so I assumed it was Damien. I went upstairs to surprise him, but the surprise was on me.”
“Go on, Jade,” Blaze coaxed.
I sighed and blurted it out. “I found Damien having sex with Courtney.”
“I assume you booted him out on his ass,” Tommy snapped, but not at me.
“No, I just stood there… and laughed,” I said it and just like back then, a small laugh escaped my lips.
“What?” Tommy said as if he couldn’t understand my reaction.
“It was a strange way to behave; I’ll give you that. Perhaps the norm would have been to scream and throw things, but it was my house. Why should I have wrecked my place for him? Blaze, on the other hand, lost it. She started to yell at them both. She even went so far as throwing their clothes over the deck onto the sand. It forced them to leave naked. As I think back on it now, that was the best part of the night. Well, that and the fact that Blaze and I dragged the mattress out of the house and burned it on that beach that very evening.” Blaze and I both grinned with sheer satisfaction.
“Yeah, that was one hell of a bonfire, sweetie,” Blaze added with a satisfied grin.
“After everything, I had been through that year or so before, Damien sleeping with Courtney seemed so…I don’t know, laughable. It really did. I lost my brother and now the girl who broke his heart was fucking my fiancé, in my bed of all places.”
“Wait, Courtney was Jimmy’s girlfriend?” Tommy stopped me.
I nodded. “Yeah. Obviously, she had been sleeping with Damien before my brother had died and before our relationship troubles began.”
“Did you speak to either one of them again?” Tommy asked.
“I saw Damien shortly after the incident. He came to pick up his stuff. He said they had started to sleep together after my brother died, but I never totally believed him. I haven’t seen Courtney since that evening and hopefully, I won’t ever have to see her again.”
“So let me get this straight. Even though Damien was a total shit to you, his dad still wants you both to start over again?”
“Yeah. He has always disliked Courtney. I’m not really sure why he has such a disdain for her, but he always has, even before Jimmy died. He had no use for her and he had even tried to keep Jimmy from becoming involved with her.”
“I know you don’t like her and for good reason, but I wonder why Reece doesn’t like her, so much as to tell Jade’s brother not to get involved with her?” Tommy questioned Blaze.
“Because Courtney is a know-it-all. She’s pushy, and she likes to one-up the people around her every chance she gets. And when she doesn’t get her way, she whines. Reece doesn’t tolerate women like her very well.” Blaze explained.
“So that’s why he was so determined to get Damien back with Jade. Some of the things you’ve said about Courtney are very superficial things for a man like Reece to bother with. Are you sure there isn't anything else going on?”
“Reece loves Jade and has always loved her. He would love for his son to wake up and realize what he’s missing. I believe Courtney is just a means to an end for Reece so he can get what he wants. He is not one to lose.” Blaze continued.
“It doesn’t matter what Damien is missing out on or that Reece doesn’t like to lose, Damien and I are done. We’ve been over for a long time. I’ll never go back to that. Frankly, that’s why I decided not to get into a serious relationship with anyone anymore.”
“Forever?” Tommy seemed stunned and weirdly disappointed.
“Umm…I don’t know about forever, but what I do know is life can’t always be about forever. It has to be about the here and the now, something I took for granted. I do know I wasted so much time on Damien, time that could have been spent enjoying life. That’s what I intend to do, have fun and enjoy what’s in front of me, not what’s possibly down the road.” Just then I looked down at my phone and realized it was almost 8 o’clock; I jumped up to rush out.
“Not so fast, baby. Don’t I even get a kiss goodbye? I mean I was your boyfriend last night and you did fall asleep in my arms, and I was a perfect gentleman. Don’t you think my acts of valor deserve a reward?” Tommy teased as he grinned from ear to ear.
He was too sexy not to take him up on his offer, and I was all about having fun. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, my fingertips grazed the back of his neck, then I kissed his cheek, letting my lips linger there before I whispered in his ear.
“I can’t thank you enough for such a perfect evening. Maybe we can do it again sometime?” My voice was soft and breathy. I wondered if I turned him on like he unknowingly had done to me that night at the club.
When I pulled away his mouth hung open slightly. His stare was blank, and he was speechless.
Yeah, I did…Good.