I had a headache from all the flashing lights. The blue and red LED light bars had been blinding, the intense colors alternating over and over again until I could still see the sequence with my eyes closed. There were little yellow tent flags littered around the area at the back of Rusty’s, and if I never spent another moment in the back of a police cruiser for the rest of my life, it would be too soon.

Sutton had been doing his best to put out fires, but there was a look of defeat in his eyes as he leaned into the back of the Navarro Sheriff’s car to talk to Travis who was saying nothing. He let his officers question us briefly, as well as the people of Babylon, but we stayed as quiet as we could get away with, for the most part. Slater was handing out the specifics, while the rest of us watched on, nodding and agreeing where it was deemed necessary. My wrists ached from the metal cuffs that had been put there while I was in the back of the car. Something else Sutton hadn’t been able to help with.

I couldn’t say I’d never been that scared in my life because I had been more scared than this before—the night in the warehouse had been far more terrifying than being handcuffed in the back of a car knowing the worst that could happen was a criminal record and possibly prison.

Okay, the situation was bad, but I could have been dead, so I had some perspective.

Emergency technicians had Autumn sitting in the back of an ambulance, and most of the men Travis had brought with him were treated in an area they were using as triage… One of two as they were doing everything in their power to keep the two clubs apart.

Four hours later, I was released and sent home with the others on our own recognizance. The usual warnings of not leaving town rang in our ears as we helped Rusty lock up and rode home.

The moment I was inside The Hut, I slipped behind the bar and did a mental eenie meenie miney mo between, Johnny, Jack, and Jose. Johnny Black Label won. I twisted the cap off and inhaled the liquid fire as my eyes locked on my betrothed.

He was battered, bruised, and worn, but damn him, he still managed to look sexy as hell as he approached the opposite side of the bar with his T-shirt sleeves rolled up to his shoulders proudly showing off his strapped up bullet wound. That usual damn smirk was in place, only he had enough respect for me to at least look a little bit cautious in his approach.

“Is now a good time?” he asked softly.

I tipped back my head and held the bottle to my lips, letting more of the liquid trail fire down my throat, while holding up a finger to ask for a moment. I shuddered as I rocked forward and held the bottle out to him, letting out a gasp.

“Now is a perfect time, Mr. Tucker. I need you to explain what the fuck just happened.”

“You shot me,” he said with amusement as he swiped the bottle from me and tipped it to his lips, never once taking his eyes from me.

“Yeah, I caught that. It was the why I was unclear about.”

He shuddered and gasped, dropping the bottle back down onto the bar to push it toward me. “Trigger… Sorry, Travis, was trying to frame you for Jacob’s murder. I needed to create a scene that made it look like there’d been a struggle—that he’d been the one to snatch the gun from you, causing the trigger to be pulled by accident, which led to Jacob being shot in the head. I tried to step forward to defend you, he twisted the gun in both your grips, tried to aim it at me, and it caught my arm… just not enough to stop me getting to you. I managed to break you apart. We fought.” Drew paused and faked a harsh wince of pain. “He got me real good. Right here.” He pointed to his left eye. “And I hate to admit it, but the little sniper got me in the ribs a few times, too. Way more hits than he’d have got if I hadn’t just been shot in my arm.” His eyes met mine as he looked up and tried not to smile. “You stumbled back. Slater caught you. You were… traumatized. The rest happened so quickly. What can I say?” He shrugged.

I pulled the bottle toward me, my hand tightening around the neck as I studied him. The adrenaline was still racing through my veins, but it was only a matter of time until the inevitable crash came, and I had more questions.

“Thank you,” I said, running my thumb around the lip of the bottle. “He didn’t blink, Drew. When he shot Jacob, he didn’t even blink. It didn’t affect him enough to even blink. His own brother.”

I covered my face with my other hand and sucked in a deep breath.

“What am I looking at? Time wise? It would be manslaughter, right?” I sniffled, teetering on the edge of sanity.

“Ayda,” he said quietly, losing all his breeziness as his tone slipped from casual to cautious in an instant. I felt his arm reach out, and when his fingertips brushed my wrist, I saw him lean against the bar. “Do you honestly think I’d let you do time? Ever?” he whispered.

I dropped my hand into his, twisting, so our fingers linked, and brought his bruised knuckles to my lips. “Do you honestly think it’s going to be that easy to get out of this?”

“Yes,” he said confidently. “I do. You need to trust me. I love your honor, baby. I love your fight. I love the way you’ve brought me to life and loved me like no other living, breathing thing has ever loved me before. I love watching you grow from this shy, unsure woman who used to look at me like she was afraid I was going to bury her, to this woman who now looks at me with instruction—a woman who now tells me how to live. A woman who has become my moral compass for life.” His fingers dug into my palm as he pulled me closer. “But if you think for one fucking minute that I would let my future wife go to jail before I did, then you’re mistaken. I would take the fall a thousand times for you. I would die for you tomorrow. Tonight. Right fucking now. And if you think this is up for debate, then you’re mistaken, Ayda, ‘cause I love you so fucking hard, I’d rather die right now than see you suffer. So take those words I’ve just spoken, taste them, let them slip down your throat and sink in. You’re mine. I protect what’s mine. Your future is safe. Let me worry about mine.”

There were no words for the way my heart beat in my chest. I couldn’t describe the feeling that ran through my body. If they could bottle my emotions and sell them, we’d be millionaires. It was an odd high that had my knees trembling, and not one part of that was from the shock.

“I love the way you love me, but I think we’re at an impasse.”

“No, you think we’re at an impasse. I know what I’m doing,” he whispered, bringing my hand to his lips and closing his eyes as he spoke against it. “Please. Just for once. Fucking trust me.”

I smiled at him, my hand releasing the bottle and reaching out to run through his hair. “Jesus, Drew. I think I proved how much I trust you when I shot you.”

“That was so hot, by the way.” He smiled against my hand. “Got a little hard when I saw that look in your eyes.”

I started to laugh. It was inappropriate and a little hysterical and drew the attention of the men closest to us, but I couldn’t have cared less. “I am so in love with you, you crazy ass.”

“I know.” His eyes peeled open as he looked up at me. “I love you, too. You wanna know why?”

“Always.”

He sighed heavily, his breaths washing over my knuckles as he brought both hands to hold mine and ran his thumbs across my skin.

“Words are easy, Ayda. Actions are harder. You never fail to act.” Drew looked up at me, wearing the most, sincere heartwarming expression I think I’d ever seen. “You just don’t know how to let me down when I need you the most.”

I’d gone the entire night without crying. I’d had a man shot point blank in the face beside me, I’d watched Autumn get beaten before she’d gone badass and taken a bite out of a guy, I’d shot my future husband, and I’d been arrested, but I’d managed to keep my composure through all of it. All it took was my gorgeous, rugged, and smooth-talking man to say something so genuine to spark those tears in my eyes.

“Bastard.” I sniffled, just as The Hut door was thrown aside and Sutton stormed in.

“Hold that thought, wifey,” Drew whispered, dropping another kiss to my knuckles before he winked, spun around and turned his attention to the chief of police storming through The Hut.

Sutton had always had confidence. Even when he’d come back from the disaster at the warehouse, and he was the prey among the predators, he’d held his own until Drew had been fit to walk out into the middle of his brothers and announce that Howard was now a friend of the Hounds.

But as he stormed through The Hut, it wasn’t confidence that shone from him.

It was fear.

Worry.

Desperation.

As soon as Drew saw him, he pushed up from the bar, straightened his spine and stood tall. Gone was my man with the smooth tongue and all the wonderful words he was about to speak to me. The president had taken over. The difference in his posture as he took his position always astounded me, no matter how many times I saw him shift from man to warrior in the blink of an eye.

“Howard?” Drew said roughly.

Sutton’s eyes were frantic at first, but when they eventually landed on Drew, his whole face and body sagged.

Nothing was said as a thick silence descended over the entire building. Sutton’s eyes zoned in on Drew’s, and it was the little flickers and flinches of his face that told Drew, me, and everyone who was watching, that whatever news Sutton had to deliver, it wasn’t good.

It wasn’t bad, either.

It was fucking catastrophic.

“Drew,” Howard said quietly.

Drew somehow stood impossibly taller as he pulled his chin back to his chest and scowled in confusion. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

“I… I…” Sutton swallowed, pulling the hat off his head slowly and holding it down at his stomach as his eyes searched the floor of The Hut.

“Chief?”

Howard closed his eyes, the regret there obvious. His voice was caged, though, unable to break free no matter how many times he parted his lips to try and speak.

Drew sensed the danger and glanced around at all his brothers behind him, his tribe, his pack, his club… and me. When his eyes landed on mine, all I could see was uncertainty—an emotion that wasn’t common for him.

He turned back to the chief slowly, parting his legs and taking a strong stance in front of Howard.

He was ready. Whatever news he was about to be told, he was ready.

“Sutton,” Drew began. “Say it.”

“I don’t know how to,” Sutton muttered.

“How bad are we talking?”

“Drew…”

“I can handle it.”

“Yeah, but I can’t.” When Sutton looked up, his eyes were glazed, and he had to rub his lips together to try and hold onto his composure.

To my surprise, Drew smiled softly at him and shook his head. He never let his confusion stay around for long. He was a man of many battles. I guess he’d seen all the outcomes and had all the predictions in his hat already.

“It’s okay, Howard,” Drew said softly. “Do you need to take one of us back for more questioning? Do you need to—?”

“Drew, no. Stop.” Sutton swallowed again, his hands worrying his hat as he stared up at his old enemy’s eyes like he really cared. “It’s bigger than that.”

“Bigger?”

“Much bigger.”

“I don’t understand,” Drew said, frowning.

“When I got called away from the party, I was told it was an emergency. The station needed me. I didn’t understand what was going on. There’d been nothing big happening in Babylon since the whole warehouse incident. We didn’t have anyone of importance in custody. Life was quiet, apart from you guys and what was going on with my… my Sloane,” he stuttered, drawing in a breath and blowing it out almost instantly. “I’d never have left if I didn’t have to, but there was something happening. Something way above me.”

We’ve put things in place. Sutton is probably being stripped of his badge as we speak.

The words Travis had spoken came back to me all at once, smacking the forefront of my mind.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Drew asked in a quiet whisper.

“The mayor was there. So were a bunch of police officers from the Navs’ territory, Drew. They were accusing me of being in your pocket. They were checking my payroll. Every member of my team’s bank accounts. They were on fire, going through files, trying to find a link between me and The Hounds that could strip me of this badge I’m wearing.”

Drew scowled harder, but he’d gone into silent mode, and his jaw was ticking tight, over and over again.

“They wanted to cut me loose, Drew.”

“So they can take over,” he whispered.

“The mayor was pretty adamant that I couldn’t be trusted anymore.”

“Why is the he getting involved in this?”

“I wish I knew.”

Drew’s nostrils flared as he exhaled. “There was nothing there for them to find, though, right?”

“Nothing concrete. They had their questions. About the warehouse. About the Emps. About my sudden allegiance to you all. About M…” He stopped to clear his throat. “About Maisey’s death. About the reports we filed. I’m under investigation here.”

“Okay,” Drew said slowly, not moving. “Chief, I’m sensing there’s something else you’re not telling me.”

Howard nodded slowly, his face scrunching up as he looked down at the floor and curled his hat in his hands. “I gotta take one of you in.”

I rocked forward against the bar, my heart sinking as the MC seemed to groan as a collective. Most of the guys holding a beer were draining their bottles. Others were openly staring at the chief as though he’d lost his mind. Me? I could only think of one way to fix the problem.

“A Hound? Or just someone associated with them in this mess tonight?” I asked, ignoring the eyes that flicked to me like I was a magnet.

I stiffened as my thoughts crowded my head all at once. Drew would understand what I meant after the conversation we’d just had, and though I knew he would veto anything to do with me taking culpability, my idea was better than him going back to that soul-sucking prison. He was president, he was king, and he was where he needed to be.

Sutton glanced my way, his eyes full of sympathy for me as he tilted his head to one side and held my gaze. “You’re not big enough for them, Ayda,” he whispered with regret. “You’re not enough. I’m not enough. They want to get to the root of everything bad that’s ever happened around here in the last few years. They want…”

“... Me,” Drew finished for him.

Sutton looked back at Drew and gave him a nod. “The body they found on the Navs’ turf has been linked back to this club. Miguel Hernandez was a member of the Emperor MC, and he was found buried wearing a Hounds of Babylon wrap around his arm. There’s more evidence in place, or so they say, but I haven’t been made privy to it yet. All I’m getting is a lot of threats, nothing concrete. They told me they had plans, Tucker. Big plans. Plans to bring all of you down, including me, my girls, my life...” Sutton swallowed again, the taste of his words almost making him sick as he turned green with regret and his voice choked up. “I can’t… I can’t lose my girls, Drew. I can’t let them lose anything else. They’ve already… I’ve already… we’ve already lost so much. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. This is bigger than me, than us, than anyth—”

Drew cut him off instantly, his hand landing on Sutton’s shoulder and commanding him into submission.

“It’s okay, brother. I wouldn’t want you to. I understand.”

“Drew,” Jedd called out from somewhere.

“Drew,” I heard Slater say.

“Son,” Harry said weakly.

“No, Drew.” Deeks.

“No fucking way.” Kenny.

No. No. No. The cries went out.

“Do what you have to do, Howard. Do what you have to do,” Drew whispered.

“Wait just a goddamn minute,” I shouted, marching around the bar and avoiding anyone that tried to stop me. “This is blackmail. This is just… It’s like a never-ending fucking cycle. Travis shot his own brother. That fucking psycho took the gun from my hand and shot him in the face.” I pushed my hands into my hair hysteria bubbling under the surface. “I don’t understand, Howard. Even if you take Drew in this won’t ever stop.”

I was shaking as a new wave of adrenaline dumped into my system. Now I looked like a tweaker, my eyes darting around the faces that surrounded us. Our family. My family. They were being attacked from every side, but the mayor… He didn’t do it with guns, knives or fists. He was fighting with bureaucracy and corruption.

Drew’s eyes were closing, even though his body stood strong.

The silent communication was kicking in again. I read it in his expression, in his body language, in the tick of his jaw.

“Come here, Ayda,” he said like there was only the two of us in the room.

I took the few steps toward him—my hands balled flat against his stomach as my forehead landed against his shoulder. I wanted to cry at the injustice of it all. We were outlaws, I supposed, but there was still honor among thieves. We followed a code of our own. Nothing good would come of this. They would make sure Drew did the maximum amount of time. The death sentence was still very much alive in Texas, after all.

I couldn’t lose him.

Not like this.

Not to some power hungry politician who was working under an agenda.

I sucked in a breath, calming myself enough to stop the angry tears from forming.

Drew pressed his lips to the top of my head, taking his time to kiss me and take a few breaths as his hands worked the length of my hair like they’d done so many times in bed before.

“Do you know what the perks of being my first love are?” he asked, not waiting for me to answer. “The world can take me away from you, but they can never take me away from you. The world can try to tear us apart, but they’ll never win because it’s deeper than that. Baby, we’re bigger than that,” he breathed against my head. “I have to go, though. I have to go and do this. It’s part of my job. It’s who I am, darlin’.”

The first tear fell freely, landing on the leather of his cut as I felt my chest fracture into a thousand pieces. Was it really just that morning that the blissful happiness had made me feel like nothing could touch me. Was it just that morning that my world finally came together and made sense?

I knew I needed to be stronger… for him. For the guys and for myself, but the first sob came regardless of what I knew I needed to do. It took everything in me to nod and step away, my fingers wiping the tears as I glanced up at him. My voice refused to work, so I whispered the words instead.

“I would do this for you. If you let me, I would do this for you. I love you more than you will ever know, Drew.”

“You think I don’t know?” he breathed, pulling me closer.

“You couldn’t possibly.” I sniffed and swiped at the tears now falling in a steady line down my cheeks.

He huffed out a pitiful laugh and pulled my face away from his body, holding it in the palms of his hands as he stared down into my eyes and sighed softly. Peacefully. Like he wasn’t just about to be taken away. “God damn it, Ayda, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to this club. They need you more than they need me. Look after them for me, if all our efforts to push past this fail and I don’t come back soon.”

“They’re my family, of course I’ll look after them, but you’re coming back, even if I have to sell every acre of my parents land to get you out.”

He nodded slowly, clearly hiding what he was going to say as he opened his mouth and quickly closed it again, instead pulling me closer and devouring me in a kiss.

We clung to one another almost desperately. His was a kiss that was full of goodbyes, while mine was a promise of hope, even if he didn’t believe that, but no matter what the intentions were, the underlying sentiment was the same. The kiss sang of our love and gave us something to hold onto. The moment we parted, I bit my lip, swallowed my sobs and looked over my shoulder at Sutton.

“I’m going to be down there later this morning, Howard,” I told him. “You better look after Drew until we get him out of there.”

“I’ll do my best. You know I will…” Sutton’s face scrunched up, his voice giving up on him and forcing him to angle his body away from mine. I knew he felt guilty. It was clear to see. Drew tried to put a stop to that by placing his arm around Sutton’s shoulder and pulling him closer.

“Let’s go, Chief.”

“I’m sorry,” Sutton choked out.

“Yeah,” Drew sighed. “Me, too.”

The two of them stood taller, staring at the door of The Hut until Drew looked back over his shoulder to find me.

“I’ll be home soon.” He winked, faking a certainty I knew he didn’t feel.

The sea of cuts seemed to step to the side as Sutton and Drew walked toward the door, while I stood alone, shaking and forcing back the body rocking sobs that were building like a storm inside of me.

I felt violent.

I felt desolate.

I felt fucking angry and sad and torn in two.

I rushed to the door the moment they disappeared through it, my hands gripping the porch rail once I was through to stop my momentum, even as the rest of the guys filed out behind me.

Deeks and Autumn flanked me, their arms circling my waist as I white-knuckled the railing, not quite able to say goodbye.