Chapter 6

Khaki stood outside Xander’s apartment, trying to work up the courage to knock. This had seemed like a great idea when she’d left Mac’s place, but now she wasn’t so sure. Was it too late to chicken out?

Coward.

She lifted her hand and knocked. He might not even be home. Maybe she should have called first.

She was just about to knock again when the door opened. She blinked, the speech she’d rehearsed on the way over disappearing at the sight of Xander. He was wearing jeans and a T-shirt that showed off his well-muscled biceps. They were so mesmerizing, she could barely take her eyes off them.

“Khaki. What are you doing here?”

While the words weren’t exactly harsh, they were enough to snap her out of her stupor.

She reached up and nervously pushed her hair behind her ear. “Can I come in?”

He didn’t say anything for so long, she thought he was going to make her say whatever she’d come to say right there in the hallway. But then he stepped back.

“Yeah, sure.”

His apartment had bachelor written all over it. There was little in the way of décor unless you counted the monster TV mounted on the wall in front of a sectional that while not shabby definitely had that lived-in look. There was a baseball game on, but the sound was muted. All of that faded into the background as the smell hit her. It was like being immersed in a bottle of Xander-scented cologne. It actually made it hard to breathe—without drooling at least.

“What can I do for you?” Xander asked.

He’d closed the door but hadn’t moved away from it. He wasn’t making this very easy on her.

She glanced at the couch. “Would it be all right if we sat down?”

He gestured toward the sectional, then sat as far away as he could. Maybe she should have taken a shower before coming over.

Khaki wet her lips. “I know you don’t like me very much, but—”

He frowned, his brows drawing together. “What makes you think I don’t like you?”

Had he seriously just asked her that? She let out a snort. “I might be new to this werewolf thing, but my ears work just fine. I heard what you told Sergeant Dixon the first day I arrived about not wanting me on your squad. Since then you’ve made your feelings pretty obvious.”

Xander had the good grace to look ashamed. He leaned forward to rest his forearms on his knees. “Um…about that—”

She held up her hand. “Let’s just agree to not get into that right now, okay? I didn’t come here to talk about why you hate women cops or whatever your issue is with me. I came because I need your help.”

His eyes clouded in confusion. “Help with what?”

Khaki knew it would be easier to just come out and say that she needed him to teach her how to be a werewolf, but instead she found herself telling Xander about Jeremy and the argument they’d had in front of her apartment.

“Did he hurt you?” Xander interrupted before she could get to the part about her nails bleeding.

Khaki did a double take at the vehemence in Xander’s voice. He looked so furious, he probably would have snapped Jeremy’s neck if her ex had been there.

“No,” she said. “And Jeremy isn’t why I’m here anyway.”

When Xander gave her another confused look, she explained about her bleeding fingernails and that Mac had told her it sounded like an uncontrolled shift brought on by her anger.

“Has it ever happened before?” he asked.

She shook her head, then gave him a sheepish smile. “I’ve never shifted before.”

His eyes went wide. “Never? You’ve been a werewolf for over three months and in all that time, you’ve never shifted, not even by accident?”

“No.” She shrugged. “Since I couldn’t do it and you and the rest of the team could, I thought that maybe female werewolves didn’t shift.”

Xander shook his head. “I’m not the authority on female werewolves, but from what Gage has told me, you can do anything a male werewolf can.”

She didn’t know about that. “I can’t even see in the dark, much less cut loose with all the claws and stuff like you and the other guys can.”

He stared at her. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

Khaki lifted a brow.

He flushed under his tan. “Okay, stupid question. Sorry. But if you can’t see in the dark, how were you able to get through the training in the House of Doors today?”

She cringed. She didn’t want to admit she’d been breaking the rules, but he’d asked.

“I used my nose to mentally map out the walls and doors. It took a while though, which is why I was so slow moving from room to room.”

Xander regarded her thoughtfully. “You can actually pinpoint a person’s precise location in a room purely by sense of smell—enough to shoot them, I mean?”

She gave him an embarrassed look. “Obviously not very well. I did hit Becker.”

“Barely, and it doesn’t really matter anyway. At least not when you’re using a paintball gun,” he said. “We all have good noses, but none of us can smell our way through a dark room. It’s frigging incredible.”

If Khaki didn’t know better, she’d think Xander had just complimented her. She would have thanked him, but he continued.

“Are there any other special things your sense of smell allows you to do?”

It should have been a simple question, but it wasn’t. How did she know what special things she could do with her nose when she didn’t know how the guys used theirs?

“Well, I can pick up every scent around me and remember it,” she said slowly. “Forever.”

“Seriously?” When she nodded, Xander let out a low whistle. “That’s even more in-freaking-credible than sniffing your way through a dark room.”

Khaki felt a silly sense of pride at the words. “You really think my sense of smell is that special?”

“Hell yeah.” He shook his head. “I’m not sure exactly how to capitalize on it yet, but I have no doubt it will be a benefit to the team.”

She had visions of the guys running her around like a bloodhound. “I’m okay with that, as long as you teach me how to shift like the rest of the squad.”

He flashed her a grin that made her pulse trip over itself. “Deal. You want to start now, or would you rather wait until tomorrow at the compound?”

“I kind of hoped we could start now,” she said, then added, “And that we could do the lessons in private. I don’t want the guys knowing how inept I am.”

He nodded. “That’s fine with me, but you really don’t have to hide this stuff from the Pack. We’ve all been through it to one degree or another.”

She wholeheartedly doubted Xander or any of the other guys had a problem like hers, but didn’t say so. “I’d rather keep this between us.”

“Okay,” he said. “Then the first thing you need to do is relax and get comfortable.”

Khaki was almost afraid to ask what his definition of “relax and get comfortable” was. From what she’d seen at the SWAT compound, the guys didn’t seem to ever relax and get comfortable.

Xander grabbed the remote for the television and turned it off. “Let’s sit on the floor.”

Khaki sat cross-legged between the coffee table and the television. Considering Xander had kept his distance until now, she was a little surprised when he sat down facing her barely a foot away. This close, it would be so easy to get lost in those beautiful brown eyes of his.

“Ready?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Close your eyes.”

She obeyed.

“I want you to picture yourself running barefoot through the forest.”

Xander’s deep voice was soft in the silence of the apartment. His low, rumbling tones caressed her skin, making her feel more relaxed than she’d felt in a long time.

“Imagine the wind in your hair. The soft ground under your feet. The sun on your skin,” he said. “It’s just you and the trees. There’s no one around for miles.”

Sitting here in his living room, Khaki could almost imagine her feet slapping against a trail, the dappled sunlight touching her face as she ran in and out of the shadows created by the trees.

“Now feel yourself fall forward onto all fours,” Xander told her. “You’re running crouched over, speeding along the path as your fingers dig into the earth.”

Khaki’s mind instinctively rebelled. Running on all fours didn’t feel natural. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” Xander said, his calm voice soothing away the resistance.

She tried again, and this time she rejoiced in the bizarrely strange sensation of running on four feet.

“The sun is going down now,” Xander whispered, his mouth only inches from her ear, and she didn’t know if the shiver that ran through her was from the sudden lack of imagined sunlight or his warm breath caressing the sensitive skin of her shoulder and neck.

“The shadows are growing longer, the darkness under the branches deeper,” he continued. “Imagine yourself opening your eyes wider, letting every flicker of light in to fill the darkness.”

Khaki never would have dreamed that the brusque, demanding squad leader she knew could make her feel so relaxed. But the more he whispered in her ear, the less he resembled her preconceived image of him.

“It’s dark now, but you can see as clearly as if it’s bright daylight. You’re running through the dark, able to see every tree and rock and leaf around you, and it’s amazing.”

She smiled a little, unable to help it. In her vision, she was sleek and fast, running tirelessly through a pitch-black forest, leaping over downed trees, big rocks, and small streams. Xander was right. It was amazing.

“Open your eyes, Khaki,” he entreated in that same soft voice.

She obeyed.

Xander was sitting in the same spot he’d been before, a smile on his handsome face. As hard as it was to tear her gaze away from his, she couldn’t resist looking down to see if her claws had come out. But her nails were the same.

Disappointed, she opened her mouth to ask why it hadn’t worked and realized that the overhead lights weren’t on anymore. Xander must have turned them off when she had her eyes closed.

The room should have been completely dark, but it wasn’t. She could see everything, from the subtle colors in the rug she was sitting on to the finest features of the hunky guy who seemed to be regarding her with amusement twinkling in his gold eyes.

“I can see,” she breathed in wonder. “How is that possible? I didn’t do anything.”

Xander chuckled, the sound deep and sexy as he leaned back on his hands. “No, you didn’t do anything. But you did let something happen. That’s the key. You can’t make it happen. You have to let it come out naturally. Because that’s what it means to be a werewolf—giving yourself up to the animal inside you and allowing yourself to become what you really are.”

She got up and ran around the dark apartment, laughing like a kid on Christmas. When she found herself in his bedroom, her laugh turned into something lower and more animalistic as the overwhelming scent coming from his big bed told her that Xander Riggs slept in it completely naked. Nothing else would explain how completely his scent blended with the sheets.

Ignoring the urge to bury her nose in their softness, Khaki turned and ran back to the living room before she could think too much about Xander’s naked body, his bed, and what it would be like to get wrapped up in both.

He was still sitting on the floor, grinning.

“Do my eyes look different?” she asked.

He didn’t say anything for so long, she began to wonder if something was wrong. But then he grinned even broader. “Yes, they look different. A green-gold completely unlike any other werewolf’s eyes I’ve ever seen.”

That alarmed her a little. “Do you think they’re okay?”

“Of course they’re okay. They’re just unique—like you. Sit down and I’ll show you how to back out of the process.”

She plopped down in front of him eagerly. Over the next two hours, he taught her how to get her night vision to disappear, then how to bring it back again. Sooner than she ever would have thought possible, she could make her eyes shift in and out of night-vision mode without even thinking about it.

Giddy because she’d learned something like that so quickly, Khaki grabbed Xander’s hand to give it a squeeze. His hand was warm and slightly callused compared to hers, and her breath hitched at the tingle that surged through her. His gold eyes flared brighter for a second, like he’d felt it too. She wanted to hold on longer to see if the tingle might get even stronger, but then reminded herself that he was still her squad leader and that she shouldn’t be holding his hand. But the moment she let go, her hand itched to reach out and touch him again.

“Teach me something else,” she said excitedly.

His mouth twitched. “Okay, but just one more little thing. We don’t want to push it too hard. This stuff can take a lot out of you when you’re new at it.”

She opened her mouth to tell him that she could spend the rest of the night doing this, but realized she was a little tired. It had been one hell of a long day.

“Okay, you’re probably right,” she admitted. “But do you think you can show me how to make my claws come out?”

He frowned. “Claws are a few rungs up the ladder from night vision. They can be tough if you’re tired.”

Khaki tried not to let her disappointment show, but Xander must have seen it because he shook his head with a laugh.

“Okay, we can try it. Just don’t get your hopes up too high.”

She scooted closer to him on the floor, promising that she wouldn’t.

Xander had her close her eyes and imagine running in the forest again, except this time he had her focus on her fingers.

“Dig your fingers into the soil—deep,” he said. “Think of your claws gaining purchase as you push to get up the hill.”

As he continued in that soft, honeyed voice of his, Khaki wondered if part of the reason she’d wanted to continue the lessons was simply so she could keep hearing him talk. He did have a really nice voice, and she’d be lying if she didn’t admit she liked feeling his breath on her skin.

Khaki didn’t know how long she sat there with her eyes closed, but when Xander finally told her to open them, she found herself looking at a set of long claws extending from her fingertips.

“Your claws are a part of you, just like your eyes,” Xander told her. “You can’t make them come out any more than you can make your legs longer or your hair turn blue. But if you let them come out, they’ll be there every time for you. It’s the basic rule for all werewolf abilities. You have to be calm and relaxed and allow your inner wolf to come out. Sometimes, claws and fangs will come out if we’re angry, but then that’s not control. It’s just rage.”

Khaki held her hands up, transfixed by her long claws with their slight curves and sharp tips. She looked closer at the nail beds to see that they weren’t bloody at all. Maybe letting her claws come out naturally was less traumatic on them.

She took a deep breath and imagined her nails the way they always were—oval shaped and just slightly longer than her fingers. She didn’t try to force her claws back into their other shape, but simply saw them that way.

As she watched, the claws slowly retracted. It felt strange, but it wasn’t painful. How could they possibly hide themselves in her slender fingers? What was she thinking? She was a werewolf. None of this was logical.

“That was perfect,” Xander said. “Very smooth.”

Khaki laughed. “You think so?”

“Yeah, but I think we should call it a night.”

She was getting tired. She’d probably crash as soon as the adrenaline rush wore off. But she was having so much fun, it was tough to stop. It wasn’t just the werewolf lessons she was enjoying either. She was having fun being with Xander. That was crazy, considering just a couple of hours ago, she was sure he hated her guts. She didn’t know what had changed or why he was being nice to her now, but she wasn’t going to complain. He was a gorgeous guy with a great voice, apparently infinite patience, and a rocking body that would make any female werewolf growl.

Khaki pushed those thoughts aside and remembered her manners.

“Thanks for taking the time to teach me all this stuff,” she said as she stood up. “I know it’s not in your normal duty description, but I really appreciate it.”

He grinned as he got to his feet. “Don’t worry about it. Training you, no matter the subject, is my most important job. I’m glad you decided to trust me enough to tell me you needed help. I know we haven’t exactly hit it off very well.”

“You were here when I needed you. That’s what matters.” She picked up her purse and slung it over her shoulder. “But I think it goes without saying that I’ll need some more lessons. I hope we can do this again?”

“Of course,” he said. “We can do your next lesson here or your place. Wherever you’re comfortable.”

Wow. Xander seemed not only willing to teach her more, but almost eager. She hadn’t expected that.

As he walked her to the door, Khaki tried to come up with some reason not to leave. She had this crazy urge to stay and talk. She didn’t know why she thought he’d even be interested. It was getting late and he probably wanted to get back to TV and his game.

At the door, she turned to look up at him. She wasn’t sure what she’d been going to say, but anything that she might have said disappeared as Xander’s eyes caught and held hers. Why did he have to be her squad leader? He was so unbelievably hot, and he smelled divine. In fact, the longer they stood there, the better he smelled. Then her nose picked up another smell that almost made her knees give out. Xander’s scent was blending with something completely different and so masculine, but so sweet at the same time, that her nose tingled and her mouth watered. Crap. She was literally starting to drool over her boss.

She wanted to kiss him so badly. Actually, she wanted to do a lot more than that. But she wasn’t that stupid. He was her squad leader, and if her little run-in with Jeremy had reminded her of anything, it was that workplace romances with fellow cops always ended badly.

Besides, she’d promised Emma she’d call to let her know everything was okay. She couldn’t do that if she was throwing herself at Xander.

Not that he was likely to reciprocate.

“Thank you again,” she said as he opened the door for her.

“You’re welcome again,” he said in that same deep, sexy tone that sent waves of warmth right through her. “Good night, Khaki. See you tomorrow.”

Khaki nodded, not trusting herself to say anything else. She felt very proud of herself for being able to walk away from a situation that had “bad idea” written all over it. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t kicking herself at the same time.

“Hey, Khaki.”

She turned at the elevator, her pulse skipping a beat. Xander stood in the doorway of his apartment, one hand on the jamb, the thumb of the other hooked casually in the front pocket of his jeans.

“I know I can come off like a jackass sometimes,” he said. “But if you think that means I don’t like you, you’re wrong.”

Khaki stared. Had she heard him right? Xander disappeared inside before she could decide.

She stood there in the hallway long after his door clicked shut, half of her wanting to knock on it again and the other half telling her to get her ass back in her little car and go home.

Common sense finally won out, but the decision was a lot closer than it probably should have been.