Chapter Twenty-Three
Robyn
I clung to Oliver’s hand, my mind in overdrive, and my feet struggling to keep up with his long-legged stride, but he didn’t pause or speak until we were back inside the hotel and standing outside the doors to our adjoining rooms.
Should I just go back to my own room? Was he done with me now?
Answering my question, Oliver retained the grip on my hand and unlocked the door to his room, guiding me in with him. We entered, still in silence, and I paused just inside the door, feeling edgy and unsure where this was going. Briefly glancing around, I saw that Oliver’s suite was just as luxurious as mine, containing this lounge area and a bedroom beyond, but it was far tidier than mine, and contained a lingering scent of his aftershave in the air.
He dropped my hand, walked over to the desk, and switched on a lamp, then crossed the room to switch off the main light, leaving us cast in a soft orange glow.
Coming to stand before me, he crossed his arms over his broad chest and sighed. ‘You know I have a past, Robyn, I’ve never made a secret of that,’ he murmured, his face still so infuriatingly difficult to read. He was right, he’d been totally upfront about the fact that while he didn’t do relationships, he did do sex. I wasn’t naive; even if he hadn’t told me, I knew a man like him would have slept with plenty of other women before me, no doubt more than I would ever want to count, but even knowing that, there was no way I wanted to be sharing a bed that they’d used together, too, and I remained resilient in my earlier reaction.
‘This can be our space. Just us. New to both you and me. I’ve never stayed in this hotel before … never brought a woman here,’ he added softly, and some of the tension left me. Not only had he picked up on my discomfort in Fantasia, he’d somehow managed to correctly identify the exact cause of it, too.
I still hadn’t spoken, and Oliver’s brow lowered with worry. ‘Please don’t be concerned. I don’t want you to be afraid of me. Do you need some space? Do you want to go back to your own room?’ There was a trace of desperation in his voice as he ran a hand through his hair in an agitated gesture, and although I had considered going back to my room, I found myself shaking my head.
‘No.’ It was the first word I’d spoken since we’d fled the club, and my voice came out dry and hoarse.
Oliver’s eyes fluttered shut in apparent relief, then he nodded. ‘Thank you. I need to apologise, I should never have taken you to that other room,’ he murmured with a frown. ‘You’re new to all this, and things are different with you … with us.’ He paused again, letting his words hang in the air. ‘I’ve known it from the start. As soon as I met you I knew that things would be different between us.
‘When I saw how you panicked just now, how much it disgusted you, I felt sick with myself. I never want you to feel like that around me. I’m not going to rush you or force you, Robyn, I never will. I want you to trust me, I need you to trust me.’
My throat was dry from the enormity of his confessions, but I managed a whisper. ‘I do.’ And it was true, I did. The fact that he hadn’t pushed it in that other room had just acted to enforce that trust. My tiny words caused his eyes to close in relief and Oliver lowered his forehead to rest on mine.
‘There are so many things I want to do with you, but for now I just have to hold you. I’ve wanted to for so long, ever since that first night when you walked in the bar and I laid eyes on you. I need to feel you close to me,’ he admitted in a rough voice.
Opening his arms, he smiled, letting me make the move again; silently asking me to go to him, but giving me the choice. My body trembled with anticipation of his touch, so I stepped into him and wrapped my arms around his waist, snuggling my face into his shirt and absorbing how warm and strong he felt as he encased me in his arms.
He let out a small moan of pleasure, and his lips brushed across the side of my head as he placed a kiss on my temple and held me close.
‘We’re a perfect fit,’ he mused softly, tucking me closer into his embrace. He was right, too: our bodies fitted together perfectly. It made me wonder if we’d fit together just as perfectly when we were naked. I suspected we might.
Tipping my head back, I watched as his eyes darkened.
‘I’m very much looking forward to you submitting to me,’ he added. ‘You’re so strong, but I think that you will enjoy handing over your power to me in the bedroom.’
I was strong, and I was independent, but Oliver was spot on with his observation, because the thought of him taking control of me was a huge turn-on. If doing so made Oliver happy, then that would be even better.
Shifting me in his arms, Oliver guided us towards the bedroom then stepped away from me. Remaining silent, he took off his suit jacket and hung it over the back of a chair then kicked off his shoes before starting to roll up his sleeves. I’d seen him do this several times now, and although I couldn’t quite pinpoint why, it really turned me on. My heart rate rocketed as I watched him, and a flush travelled from my face down my neck.
Once his sleeves were rolled to his satisfaction, he walked over to the bed, lowered himself to sit on the edge, and looked up at me. ‘Lay with me.’ It wasn’t a question, but even though it was said as a command something in his tone made me think that Oliver was almost desperate for me to comply.
He relaxed back onto the pillows, still mostly dressed, and stretched out his long legs while he watched to see what my reaction would be. I was still nervous, as I would be with any new boyfriend when things progressed to the bedroom stage, but his complete calm soothed me.
Being here in this private space with Oliver in all his masculine prowess, I found my arousal reigniting, and was suddenly keen to join him. I stepped out of my heels, then, with a shy smile, I moved towards him and crawled into position on the bed beside him.
To my surprise, Oliver didn’t attempt to initiate a kiss, or anything more sexual. All he did was pull me against him with a groan and settle me on his body so my head was in the crook of his neck and my hand was lying on his chest.
Relaxing into the position, I sighed contentedly, and with every strong beat of his heart I felt my tensions drift away. Being near him had always filled me with ease, but lying with Oliver so intimately like this, surrounded by his warmth and scent, was just amazing.
Oliver’s arm was wrapped around me, with his hand gently running back and forth along my arm in an apparently relaxed gesture, but under my hand I felt his pulse accelerating, until it was drumming in his chest frantically and betraying his excited state. As I gazed around us, I realised that his pulse wasn’t the only indication of his mood. There was a bulge in the front of his trousers that made my eyes widen. There was no mistaking that as anything other than what it was – Oliver’s very obvious, and very large, erection – and it was pulsing away against the fabric of his suit trousers, making me almost wild with the need to touch it.
As I lay there, I wondered what would happen next. Oliver was a self-confessed dominant, so I had no idea what to expect from our first time in a bed together, but I had thought he might have pushed things forwards a little quicker than this. He hadn’t even kissed me yet; in fact, he hadn’t even moved since we’d laid down.
As the minutes passed, I found myself growing increasingly agitated. I was aroused, very aroused, and the only way I could handle the ache between my legs was to shift my position every few seconds to try to quell the sensation. I squeezed my thighs together, but it wasn’t helping, so in the end I pushed up onto my elbow and looked down at Oliver.
The tightly strung look of control on his face shocked me. He’d seemed so relaxed – apart from his erection and fast heartbeat – but one look at his expression and I saw just how hard he was trying to maintain control of himself.
‘Hi,’ I murmured softly, smiling shyly at him.
‘Hi yourself,’ he replied in a gruff voice. ‘Are you OK?’
No, I’m ridiculously horny and need relief, I thought with a blush, but I didn’t vocalise that out loud. ‘I am. Aren’t we going to … you know …?’ I floundered, not sure what to say. ‘I thought you might do your dominant thing …’
Oliver’s eyes flashed with desire at my clumsy words, but then he smiled and shifted himself slightly so that he was also leaning up on one elbow facing me, our faces practically touching.
‘No,’ he replied softly. Then, seeing my confused expression, he smiled at me so tenderly that I felt a small piece of my heart crack off and liquefy for him.
‘This is not how I would usually progress things, but I nearly messed up earlier by taking you to that room in the club. I’m not prepared to risk losing you, Robyn, so we’re going to do things differently, take it slowly.’ Cupping my face, he soothed his thumb over my cheek. I leaned into the touch, absorbing how good it felt, my eyes closing and a small moan escaping my throat.
‘I won’t rush this, no matter how much I want to kiss you, or how tempting that might be. I just want to hold you tonight.’ The soft, sweet intent in his words melted my heart and I smiled goofily.
As much as I loved his good intentions, though, I needed more from him tonight. My nerves about his lifestyle had made me hold back for so long, all the while craving his touch, so now that I was finally in his arms I wanted, needed, some physical reassurance that he felt this all as crazily as I did.
‘Kiss me?’ I asked huskily. ‘Please, Oliver.’ I tilted my head forward, about to initiate the kiss myself, but Oliver leaned slightly away.
‘Dios, Robyn. You’re killing me here,’ he growled, and in response I sagged in relief, thrilled that he seemed just as affected by all this as I was. ‘If you are to be making a request you should at least add “Sir”.’ His tone dropped lower, suddenly sounding so much darker than before. ‘But that’s not how this works. You don’t give the orders.’
I pulled in a short breath at how commanding his voice now was, and quickly licked my lips. ‘I’m sorry, Sir.’
Oliver sucked in a sharp breath and nodded. After flashing the briefest of winks, his expression returned to the intense one I’d noticed on the day we’d done the ready position training. The day he’d made me come in his arms. The wink seemed to be his way of trying to calm me, and I had to say, it worked a treat.
‘You’re learning, so I’ll allow leniency. If you make the same slip and forget my title again, however, I will remind you with a punishment.’
Punishment. I really wasn’t keen on that word, and my body tensed up. As if sensing the sudden change in my mood Oliver slid a hand to the base of my neck, rubbed away some of my tension, and brushed his lips over mine in the just the briefest of touches.
I wanted more. I wanted a real kiss from him, but as I tried to deepen the kiss he moved away again, causing a moan of protest to slip from my lips. I opened my eyes, expecting to find a castrating gaze levelled on me, but instead I found his pupils dilated with desire. ‘I’ll let you in on a little secret, Robyn; I find it incredibly hot how much you want this.’
He gazed at me, his eyes dropping to my lips and gradually lifting until our gazes locked. ‘I can’t simply kiss you and not want more. So you have a decision to make. We can continue as we are, simply lying together and enjoying the contact, or we can begin things properly. It’s your choice, but be warned, if you say yes, I won’t hold back. Are you really sure you want to start down this path tonight?’
I did. Oh, I really did. I wanted him on so many levels that I could hardly comprehend it, and without any hesitation, I answered him. ‘Yes, Sir.’