Free Read Novels Online Home

Worth Fighting For (Fighting to Be Free #2) by Kirsty Moseley (13)

ELLIE

ELLIE, DARLING, ARE you awake?” Nana called from downstairs.

I groaned and squinted at the clock on my nightstand. Just after seven. “Yeah,” I replied, propping myself up on one elbow, hoping she’d hear me even though my voice was barely above a croaky whisper. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

I hadn’t managed to get much sleep last night; my nerves had been fried, my emotions jangled. All I’d been able to think about was Jamie and how it felt to see him again. It was painful. It brought back a lot of memories that I had buried so deep inside I didn’t think they’d ever resurface, but somehow they managed it as soon as my eyes locked on his. My mind had been whirling ever since, replaying things he said, things he didn’t say, the way he looked at me, the way his lips felt against mine. I’d lain awake for hours on end, thinking about what a good thing we’d had and how much it had hurt when I found out he’d cheated on me and we’d broken up. I’d never felt pain like that before. I hadn’t realized one person could crush you and your spirit with just a few simple words.

Everything was still bubbling inside me, my feelings swirling around to make one big jumbled mess. I hadn’t wanted to talk about it last night when Stacey had tried to get me to open up in the back of the car, but now I was wondering if that had been a mistake. Maybe talking about it instead of bottling it up would have helped.

But how would I have put my feelings into words? I didn’t even know what I was feeling or why.

Before last night I’d thought I was over him. I’d thought I’d finally come out the other side of that dark, long tunnel, but maybe I wasn’t mended completely. I guess I couldn’t be, because there was still a part of me that was unwilling to open up entirely—even with Toby I always guarded myself a little, afraid of what might happen if I gave all of myself to someone else. I’d been there before, I’d loved Jamie unconditionally and with no exceptions. He’d scarred my heart irrevocably, so I didn’t know how to fully trust another man. He’d taken so much from me, made me guarded, so frightened of being hurt again, it even managed to taint my relationship with Toby.

Another wave of anger washed over me at the thought. I couldn’t remember the last time one person had made me so furious. It was almost as if everything I felt, Jamie managed to magnify somehow. This level of powerful emotion—either good or bad—seemed to be limited to him.

I blew out a big breath and squeezed my eyes shut, deciding to just forget the meeting ever took place. I had enough to deal with; I didn’t need to be thinking about an ex-boyfriend who pretended to care about me but didn’t. I pushed myself up to sitting, unclenching fists I hadn’t even realized I had made, and looked down at crescent-shaped marks my nails had left on my palms. Jamie had taken enough from me; I wouldn’t allow him another moment of my time, I decided.

Swinging my legs out of bed, I grabbed a robe and headed out, following the pleasant scent of bacon and coffee downstairs. I stopped short when I saw Kelsey seated at the kitchen table; she was already dressed and her schoolbag was propped on the chair next to hers. She hadn’t been to school this week—she hadn’t wanted to, so I’d called the school and explained on Monday that I wasn’t sure when she would be in.

I cleared my throat, smiling softly when she looked in my direction, her fork halfway to her mouth. “Morning,” I said, hoping for more than a grunt and her walking out of the room, which was what I’d been subjected to the last five days.

Her head nodded in acknowledgment, and then she turned her attention back to her breakfast and iPhone. Nana turned, smiling warmly as she picked up the coffeepot, pouring me a cup. “Morning. Hungry?” she asked.

I gave a half shrug and sat down on one of the empty chairs. “A little.” I turned to Kelsey. “Are you going to school today?”

Her eyes flicked up to mine. “Better than sitting around here doing nothing,” she replied, her voice clipped and tight.

I nodded, smiling at my nana when she put a steaming hot cup of coffee in front of me. “I think it’s a good idea. It might help you get a little normalcy back,” I said thoughtfully.

“Normalcy? What part of this is normal to you?” Kelsey snapped, scowling.

“I didn’t mean normal,” I backtracked, scrambling to explain my meaning. “I meant that it might help you to be around your friends, get some routine back. Being busy will help you too, that’s all I meant.”

“Whatever,” she huffed, setting down her fork and pushing her half-eaten food away from her.

I sighed. “Kels, how long are you going to be like this with me?”

She shoved her chair back, making a loud screeching noise. Her face contorted, her nose scrunched in anger. “Until you leave and abandon me again!” She grabbed her bag and stormed out of the room, not giving me a chance to reply. I didn’t even have a reply. I was stunned into silence. My brain was replaying the word abandon over and over. Is that what she thought? That I had abandoned her? I knew she hadn’t wanted me to leave home, but I’d never thought she would hold animosity toward me for it.

I looked up at my nana for some wise words, but she just shrugged, her smile sad and sympathetic. “Keep at it, she’ll come around.” She placed a pancake and a couple of slices of bacon on a plate before setting it in front of me. “Eat up, you need to keep your strength up, darling.”

“Thanks.”

“Still okay to take me home this morning so I can grab a few things?” she asked.

“Of course.”

“Thank you, Ellie. I’ve washed this dress three times already this week. I’ve tried borrowing some of your mother’s clothes, but they don’t really fit me. Sadly she’s much more ample in the bosom department than I am,” she said, pointing down at her basically flat chest. “Ruth has what I think you kids call a ‘great rack.’ ”

I laughed, almost choking on my coffee. Hearing my eighty-year-old grandmother saying the words great rack was not something I’d ever imagined happening in my life.

 

* * *

 

The drive to Mount Pocono, where my grandmother lived, was pleasant, as always. When we pulled up outside the familiar wooden-slatted house, I couldn’t help but smile. I had many great memories of this place. My grandparents had lived here for as long as I could remember, retiring out here to a quieter life. Sadly, about six years ago, my grandfather had passed, leaving Nana alone. We’d come out to see her as much as possible, my parents making the trip every Saturday to spend the day here with her before coming home. Kelsey and I were frequent weekend visitors too, and Nana Betty had her friends and clubs to keep her busy. She wasn’t one to rest on her laurels and was president of some wine appreciation club as well as being president of the bowling club.

“Oh, it’s so nice to be out of the hustle and bustle of the city.” Nana sighed as she pushed the passenger door open and stepped out of the car. She took in an exaggerated deep breath. “Oh my, the smell, I’ve missed it.”

I smiled and followed her out, leaning against the car as one of her elderly neighbor friends, Nora, came out of her house, waving at her before heading over to chat. I closed my eyes, letting the sun beat down on me, and realized that the air was different here, fresher, cleaner. I guess you got used to living in a city—London was the same, full of smog and fumes as you walked the streets. I’d forgotten what clean mountain air smelled like.

My parents had always had a dream that one day they’d move out here, too. My dad dreamed of a place on the edge of the lake that they could turn into a B and B. My mom would take care of the guests and cook breakfast, and he’d teach kayaking lessons from off a jetty at the back. It would have been perfect. Would have being the operative phrase. It couldn’t happen now.

When my eyes began to sting with building tears, I forced my mind away from what could have been and turned to my nana. She was just wrapping up her hushed conversation with her neighbor; I could tell they were talking about my parents’ accident, so I hung back and walked deliberately slowly up to the house. They followed me and hugged at the doorway, Nora telling Nana to call if there was anything she could do.

When Nora turned to leave, her sympathetic eyes met mine. She was a lovely lady; we’d roasted s’mores over her cast-iron fire pit in her backyard every summer. “Oh, Ellie. You’ve grown into a beautiful, strong woman.” She walked forward and hugged me tightly, her musty perfume filling my nose. “You take care of your grandmother for me, all right?”

“I will,” I replied, awkwardly pulling out of the hug and stepping back a step.

She ambled off back to her own house next door, and I stood watching a little squirrel foraging for food in the front yard while Nana unlocked the front door.

Before she stepped over the threshold, I decided to broach the subject that I’d been thinking about for the last couple of days.

“You know, Nana, you don’t have to come stay at our house if you don’t want to. I mean, I’m back now, so I can take care of Kels. If you wanted to stay here, you could,” I offered. We hadn’t spoken about it, but I knew she hated the city, and she had to have missed her own house and bed. In the beginning, she’d come to stay with us because it was closer to the hospital and it was Kelsey’s home, but now that I was here, there was no reason for her to come back with me.

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” she joked, nudging my arm with hers.

“Of course not, I love having you around, and I’d miss your cooking tremendously,” I replied, grinning sheepishly. “But... you know, Kelsey and I will be okay on our own if you did want to stay home.”

Her eyes met mine, her expression serious. “Ellie, you know there’s a good chance your mother won’t wake up. You need to prepare yourself for that, just in case.”

I recoiled, shocked at the abrupt turn in the conversation. “I know that.”

She nodded, reaching out and setting her wrinkly hand on my cheek. “If that happens, then there’ll need to be some permanent procedures put in place for Kels. She’s still a minor and will require a guardian. I’m coming home with you now because after, when this is over and we know what’s going to happen, I’ll be there for Kelsey. It’s not right for such a burden to fall on you when you have a life across the pond.”

A lump formed in my throat. I reached up and placed my hand over hers on my face, smiling gratefully. “You really are the best grandmother a girl could wish for,” I said. “But if the worst happens and Mom doesn’t wake up, then I’ll be staying here to take care of Kels. You don’t need to worry about either of us, I got it, I promise.” It was the easiest decision I’d ever made; it didn’t warrant thinking about. I would never have expected my elderly grandmother to take on a teenager.

Birds tweeting were the only sounds around us as we stood in silence for a few heartbeats, and then her eyes brimmed with tears and I reached out and engulfed her in a hug.

“I can’t believe this happened. Your parents were such good people. Why do bad things happen to good people?” she asked softly, her voice muffled by my shoulder.

“I don’t know, Nana,” I answered truthfully.

She pulled back and sniffed, pulling a hankie from her pocket and wiping her nose with it. “Have you spoken to your fiancé about what happens if the worst happens?”

I looked down at the floor and frowned. “I’ll talk to him later.” I was picking Toby up at the airport in a few hours. It was a conversation we’d avoided so far in our daily phone calls, but we couldn’t put it off forever. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go because he had responsibilities in England and I had responsibilities here. I feared there wouldn’t be much middle ground to compromise on.

“Let’s just keep praying that it doesn’t happen, that your mother wakes up and everything is fine. She’s a fighter, that one, we may be worrying about something that will never happen,” she said, reaching out and squeezing my hand.

I nodded but her words didn’t help, because deep down inside me I was already thinking that I wanted to stay here, whatever happened. I’d left my family once, wasted time I could have spent with them, and I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to leave them again. The dilemma was real and the feeling intense. I wasn’t sure what the future would hold for my mother, but I was pretty sure I already knew what it held for me.

 

* * *

 

I stood at the arrivals gate later that day, watching for Toby to walk through the glass doors, with a strong black coffee in my left hand and a BLT sub in my right, as per his texted request. Apparently the airplane food was less than to be desired, and he was wasting away with starvation—his words, not mine.

He was one of the first into the baggage claim area, along with a middle-aged woman he was chatting up a storm with. His face split into a grin when he saw me.

I bit my lip and looked him over—jeans and his blue Millwall FC shirt, worn Nike sneakers (or as he liked to call them, trainers), and a sweater tied loosely around his waist. He still wore a travel pillow looped around his neck and had a rucksack slung over one shoulder as he dragged his carry-on behind him. His hair was in disarray, one side flat where he’d most likely been asleep, and the dark circles under his eyes showed he was already feeling the jet lag.

He said something to the woman he was with, and she looked over at me, sending me a little wave and a smile. I waved back awkwardly, my hands full so it was more of just a coffee salute. I smiled. Toby could talk to anyone; you could put him in a room with a bunch of strangers, and in no time, he’d be talking to them all like old friends and would know their life stories.

“Hey,” I said as he stopped in front of me.

He grinned, stepping closer and wrapping his arm around me, pulling me against his body as his lips found mine. I squeaked from shock against his lips, awkwardly holding my arms out straight, trying not to spill coffee down his back. When he let me go and broke the kiss, his tired eyes met mine. “You’re a sight for sore eyes,” he said.

“Me or the coffee?” I joked, holding the cup out to him.

“Mmmmm,” he groaned, taking it and swallowing a large gulp.

A bad smell of rancid meat or something hit me, and I wrinkled my nose in distaste. “Ugh, what is that smell?” I held my nose, breathing through my mouth.

He groaned again, this time not in appreciation of the coffee, and shook his head. “Oh, man, I smell like vom, don’t I?” He dipped his head, taking a few tentative sniffs of his shirt. “Flight was rough; I puked. A lot. Managed to get most of it in those stupid paper bags, but I’m pretty sure my Millwall shirt is gonna stink like chunder forever now.”

I grinned wickedly. “You poor baby.”

He nodded, his lips turning down at the corners playfully. “I know, right? I told you I wasn’t a good flyer. Me Gregory is killing me too, ’ad to buy a stupid ruddy pillow on the plane, cost a fortune. The things a guy ’as to do to please his fiancée, huh?” He sighed jokingly, reaching up and rubbing his neck—or his “Gregory Peck,” as cockney rhyming slang translated.

“You totally took one for the team,” I replied, smiling gratefully. “I’m glad you’re here.” That wasn’t a lie. Toby always had this ability to put me at ease and brighten anybody’s mood. It was part of his sparkling, jokey personality.

“I missed ya,” he replied, leaning down to kiss me again.

“You, too.” I looked up at him and willed there to be some spark of passion. I hadn’t seen him for days, I should have wanted to rip his clothes off and lick him all over, but other than a small pitter-patter in my heart and gratitude that he was here, there was nothing. I guess it was hard to lust after a guy when he looked like death and smelled like vomit, though. Well, that was what I told myself anyway.

“Come on then, let’s go home and you can shower,” I suggested, waving my hand under my nose as we headed for the exit. “We’ll have to drive with the windows open,” I added, grinning.

He gasped, faking horror. “We can’t do that, me ’air will go all poufy,” he joked, winking at me. As we stepped out of the door, he stopped and looked around. “So this is what all the fuss is about, is it? The Big Apple.”

I nodded. “Yep. Welcome to New York. What d’you think?”

He looked left and right, then up at the cloudy blue sky. He drew in a big breath and then coughed dramatically. “Smells just like London.”

I burst out laughing. For the first time in days, I actually felt like laughing. It was definitely a talent Toby had.

Search

Search

Friend:

Popular Free Online Books

Read books online free novels

Hot Authors

Sam Crescent, Zoe Chant, Flora Ferrari, Mia Madison, Lexy Timms, Alexa Riley, Claire Adams, Sophie Stern, Elizabeth Lennox, Leslie North, Amy Brent, Jordan Silver, Madison Faye, Frankie Love, C.M. Steele, Jenika Snow, Mia Ford, Kathi S. Barton, Michelle Love, Bella Forrest, Delilah Devlin, Dale Mayer, Sloane Meyers, Amelia Jade, Nicole Elliot,

Random Novels

Royally Yours: A Bad Boy Baby Romance by Amy Brent

P.S. I Spook You by S.E. Harmon

A Gift for the King (Terranovum Brides Book 1) by Sara Fields

Watcher United: Dark Angels Paranormal Romance (Watchers of the Gray Book 5) by JL Madore

Destiny's Love: A Wolf Shifter Mpreg Romance (Savage Love Book 1) by Preston Walker

Autumn Nights (Four Seasons of Romance Book 2) by Elle Viviani

The Good Doctor by Andi Jaxon

Hard Game (Wild Boys Sports Romance Book 1) by Harper Lauren

Wild by Sophie Stern

Scheme of Maneuver: A Career Soldier Military Romance by Tawdra Kandle

Faking It: A Fake Girlfriend Romance by Brother, Stephanie

B-ry: A Steel Paragons MC Novel (The Coast: Book 4) by Eve R. Hart

Nikolai (The Romanovs Book 1) by Marquita Valentine

SEALs of Honor: Cooper by Dale Mayer

Behind the Mask: A Rockstar Romance by J.L. Ostle

Decker's Wood by Kirsty Dallas

I'll Make You Mine by Gia Riley

All They Wanted (Wanted series Book 7) by Kelly Elliott

Black Light: Fearless by Maren Smith

Silver Dragon: A BBW Dragon-Shifter Romance (Alma Venus Mail-Order Brides Book 1) by Cara Wylde