CHAPTER 14

 

 

Knox

 

 

 

Fuck!

Goddammit to hell.

You lucky son of a bitch.

It all shouts in my mind at the same time.

London doesn’t need to answer the question. Fuck no. I can feel her pussy, all soft and wet and teasing, perched against my back.

Fucking hell.

The silence between us is charged until finally she answers.

“Uh…no.”

“Why not?”

She waits long enough I’m almost sure she’s not going to answer. “I didn’t have permission.”

Fuck my life. My cock’s been hard from the second she said the word massage. Now I could pound nails with it.

Rule number one. We both get tested, just like you wanted. No fucking until that’s done.

Why the hell had I said that? Made it a rule? Backing down from that shit…I don’t do it. But she’s sitting on my back, pantyless and braless under that too tight dress, and I want her like no woman I’ve ever been with.

No one…ever.

She moves a little, and I feel every minor twitch.

“You didn’t have permission?”

Not sure how I’m able to ask the question. My voice is all hoarse and softer than it should be, but…goddamn. Yeah, I’ve developed a reputation for some kinky shit, but it’s not really true. Not entirely. Oh, I’ll spank a chick if that’s what she needs, and I might use some restraint from time to time, but I’m not a true Dom looking for a sub to hook up with. I’m just…dominant. I like to be in control, and it turns me the fuck on when a chick follows my instructions.

“You said it was important.” Her voice sounds all wavery. “Everything else depended on this. So…” Her voice dies away, and then I feel a soft fluttering of her lips against the back of my neck. “I followed the rules.”

My dick grabs every bit of the blood flow in my body, and I’m fucking glad. For once in my life, I only want to feel.

I don’t hesitate. Not sure how I do it, but suddenly London is on her back, and I’m straddling her thighs. Those expressive golden eyes are wide, dilated, and her breath is caught in her throat. She doesn’t move, only stares at me.

“You were a good girl?”

“Your good girl.”

She said that before. My good girl. Like being even a little submissive isn’t something she usually does.

My dick gets harder.

“You want more rules, baby?”

Her eyes darken, and a little breath sneaks out. “Yes.”

I climb off the bed and stand next to her. “Get up.

She does, and I’m struck again how small she is next to me. Her shoes are off, like mine, and the top of her head only reaches my shoulder. The difference explodes something in me. I want to protect her—and dominate her.

“Undo my jeans.”

Her chest heaves, but she takes a breath and licks her lips as she reaches for my waistband. I want to catch her mouth with mine, seal our lips, and suck her tongue deep into my mouth, but I want to watch the magic of her fingers more. Her fingers tremble as she struggles with the metal fastening, but then she gets it open and releases the zipper. My cock surges forward.

“You’re not wearing underwear, either.” Her eyes raise to mine.

My grin is wicked. “It’s only fair.”

“Sweet baby Jesus.” It’s no more than a whisper, and then she reaches for me, stroking her fingers lightly from the tip to as far as she can reach. “Ten inches, Knox.” She swallows. “What the fuck do I do with that?”

My hips flex. “You handled it pretty fucking good the other night.”

“I think I was in shock.”

“And now?”

Her hands rest on my hips like she wants to push my jeans down, but she doesn’t. Those incredible eyes seem trapped by mine.

“Now I want you in my mouth.”

Precum dots the tip of my cock, and my hips flex on their own. Jesus, I’d give up everything to be in her mouth right now.

“Take off your dress.”

I miss her touch the instant she drops her hands. She fumbles with some kind of fastening at her side, and part of her dress flops open. There must be another button or something, because she reaches inside, and then the whole thing falls to her sides.

Jesus. Those full, gorgeous tits. Amazingly small waist. Hips that beg for my hands. I curl my fingers into my palms.

“All the way off, beautiful.”

Her movements are slow. Does she know how fucking hot that is? She shrugs her shoulders until the skinny little straps fall down her arms, and then the dress is gone. It falls to the floor in a puddle, and she stands before me like I’ve been dying to see her.

“You?” Her voice is hoarse.

“You want these gone?” I point to my jeans.

“Yeah. Uh…yes, sir?”

I grin. I can’t help it. “You been reading some sexy shit, English? Or watching porn?”

Her cheeks flush, but she doesn’t answer.

“I don’t need that sir shit. My kink doesn’t go there.” I open my arms wide. “But if you want me naked, you’re gonna have to take care of it yourself.”

She doesn’t wait. Her small palms are on my hips, and she pushes, sinking to her knees as she drags my jeans down with her. I lift one foot and then the other, and she shoves the pants away before I can.

She drags her hands up my thighs, and then she’s there, cupping my balls. She massages gently with one hand, while the other goes to my cock and strokes lightly. Fucking tease.

My groan seems to please her. She leans forward with a smile, peeks up at me, and slides her tongue out to lick just below the head. Goddamn, but she knows the spot.

My cock twitches, and she smiles. She licks up and down the shaft, all around it, like it’s some kind of ice cream treat. I don’t even try to pretend that I don’t love it, but I want more.

“Suck it, baby. Deep.”

She licks up to the tip, swirls her tongue around, and then does it. She takes me in slow and steady, and I feel myself at the back of her throat. She holds me there for a few seconds until I feel her muscles relax enough that she can take me even deeper.

She stops, one hand still cupping my balls and the other tight around my shaft, until her gag reflex takes over and she pulls back. Her head bobs up and down, her hand stroking in rhythm, and she takes me deep every few beats.

I hold myself steady as long as I can, but it’s a losing battle and I fucking know it. I shove my hands through her hair, hold her face between my palms, and mutter, “Jesus, baby. Let me do it.”

Her movements stop, and her eyes lift to mine. Even as fucking turned on as I am, I can see desire and something more, something deeper—Christ, is it trust?—in the flickering gold. I can’t begin to stop moving, and I’m thrusting like I’ve wanted to since the first touch of her tongue.

Her hands go to my thighs, clench at my muscles to hold her steady. Tears leak from her eyes as I go deep and she gags more often than not, but she does nothing to stop me. I feel like a dick, know I shouldn’t push it when I’m losing control, but it’s all getting away from me. I’ve usually got wicked stamina, but not this time.

“Goddamn, baby, I’m gonna come.”

The voice doesn’t sound like me, and that breaks my trance a little. I need to find my control again, try to pull back, but London tightens her grip on my thighs.

I massage my fingers over her scalp. “Running out of time here, baby,” I grunt. “Pull back unless you want me to come down your throat.”

She sucks harder, pushes against my thrusting, and in seconds it’s too late. I shoot a load of cum down her throat and roar her name.

“English! Goddammit, baby!”

My heart’s pounding, chest heaving, and it’s all I can do to stay on my feet. She holds me in her mouth, her palms against my ass cheeks, and gradually I begin to soften. My hands flex against her head, fingers tangled in her hair, and a low groan comes all on its own.

Hell. Things were not supposed to go that way.

I pull away, scoop her up in my arms, and follow her down onto the bed. I catch her mouth with mine, push my tongue into her mouth, and kiss her like a man starving. Or who just had the best blowjob of his life.

I taste myself on her tongue, and my hips press her to the bed. I drag her arms up over her head as I kiss her again. “Time to return the favor, baby.”

She kisses me back but starts squirming when I drag my mouth over her jaw, her throat.

“No! Uh, Knox.” She wiggles her hips. “No. Please.”

I pull back with a frown. “What is it, English? What’s wrong?”

She smiles almost shyly, touching her tongue to her top lip. “No on returning the favor. That was all for you.”

“And it was amazing.” I offer her a satisfied grin. “But I want to do this. I barely got a taste of your pussy the other night.”

I force myself to smile through the memory of my little freak out that first night. Yeah, it worked out okay in that case, but what about the rest of it? Is that what my life has come to with this fame shit? Everything out of control from day to fucking day?

Nothing has been in my control for months now.

London smiles back, happier, more relaxed, and I feel myself respond.

“You’ll get your chance, luv. Plenty of ‘em over the next couple of months, I think. But this…” She shakes her head and spares me an oddly deliberate look. “This was for you. All you. You know. Friend to friend.”

“Friend?” I send one eyebrow high.

This time she grins. “You know.”

She takes advantage of my distraction and wriggles from my grip. Pushes me back on the bed. Settles in next to me, her softness pressed against my side.

“Still didn’t expect it, English.”

“No?” She turns her head to smile up at me. “What did you expect?”

I drag an idle finger up and down her arm. “Expect?” I shake my head. “Don’t think I expect much of anything anymore.”

Her eyes narrow, and she shakes her head. “No. That isn’t true.”

I stare at her, at the certainty in those whiskey-gold eyes that are warmed by encouragement and not a bit of judgment. This girl…

I lift a shoulder. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. My expectation is to expect the unexpected.”

She watches me, her gaze flickering over me like a damn microscope. “Is that bullshit?”

“No.” I shake my head. “This tour was supposed to be easy. We’d been through it, knew the ropes, made a plan. Had some extra time built in for shit like this when we’re in L.A. A lot of pride in the new album, and we were hot to get the songs before a live audience. We weren’t even out of Austin before it all started to go to shit.”

The same list of names cycles through my brain. Gabe. Bree. Ajia. Zayne. London herself.

And now, the sperm donor.

Fuck.

London reaches for me, pushes hair back from my forehead, and smiles sadly. “You don’t have to go through it all alone, you know, luv. You can share the burdens with others.”

I shake my head. Not these burdens. The only people I have to share them with are the people I have to protect. Nothing’ll change that.

“Nobody to tell.” I settle on that.

“What about me?”

“What about you?”

“Is there anything you can tell me? Share with me?” She shrugs. “You might not be able to tell, but I’ve got some pretty broad shoulders.”

I smile a little, push hair back from her face. “I’m sure you do, baby. You’re probably even really scary when you wanna be. But…”

“But what? Nobody can do it all alone forever, luv.”

Do it all alone forever? Maybe not, but I’ve been doing it alone for a long goddamn time. Don’t think I know how to share this shit anymore. Never had anybody even offer before.

She smiles sadly when I don’t say anything, just tucks herself closer to my side and kisses my chest. “It’s okay. Just know that I’m here for you.”

We lay that way for a while. A few minutes, half an hour? I have no clue. She seems contented enough, kissing my chest from time to time, and wrapping her arm securely around my waist. I haven’t felt this close to a woman—to anyone—in a long time.

It feels good, and I know I shouldn’t let it.

“It was the old man.”

“What?” She looks up at me.

“On the phone. The sperm donor.”

She doesn’t blink, but her expression turns to an odd combination of both relief and horror. “Sperm donor. I take it you and your father aren’t close.”

My laugh is disgusted, even ugly, but I do nothing to stop it. “Nope. Haven’t seen or talked to him in about…oh, eleven or twelve years.” I swallow. “Until today.”

London doesn’t say anything until, finally, “What happened?”

I shrug. “He disappeared. Went to El Paso and never came back. Never heard from him again.”

“How old were you?”

“Twelve. Bree was eight.”

She flinches, almost like she can feel what it was like. The fear. The not knowing. The pain on our mom’s face. And maybe she can. She has a fucked-up family life, too.

“What did he want?” London asks quietly.

“Money.” I cup her head for a second, hold her against my chest, and then stroke my hand down her arm and back up. Rather do that than remember the ugly words from the sperm donor.

“Money.” Her nose wrinkles as she repeats the word. It’s kind of cute, but I don’t have time to appreciate it when she tilts back her head. “Are you going to give it to him?”

My head snaps back like it’s on a spring. “No! Fuck no!”

She nods, like she expected me to say that. “Will he accept that?”

I’ve been keeping my hand moving up and down her arm, but I can’t do it anymore. Anxiousness scraps over my nerves, something in me wants to smash shit.

“No. I…no.” Tension seeps back into my muscles, my very bones. “Said he’d tell everybody that he caught me messing with Bree as a kid.”

“Knox!” London pops up onto her knees in an instant, her hands on my face, and a look of horror darkening her eyes. “What kind of father would do such a thing?”

I shake my head. “Not a father, remember? Sperm donor.”

She sits back on her heels, giving me a great view of her tits, her waist, her lush hips. I want to grab her, pin her beneath me, but I know her well enough already to guess she probably won’t let this go that easily.

“What are you going to do?” she asks with a frown, proving my instincts.

“Not give him any freaking money, that’s for sure.”

“Good.” She smiles with something that looks almost like pride, but it’s followed by a little sigh.

“What?”

She shakes her head. “I thought my family was fucked up. My father has his issues, but he would never try to extort money from his children.”

“Welcome to life in the Gallagher family.” I don’t even try to smile. “A stepfather who hits on his stepdaughter, and a sperm donor who’s only after the money. Who the fuck knows what I’ll turn out to be like?”

“Knox…”

I shake my head. “I’ve done everything I can to protect Bree and keep her from knowing the shit that’s gone on. This gossip about a band orgy…” My jaw clenches, despite trying to remain calm. “It shook me.”

“Of course it would.” Amazingly, London leans forward and drops a quick kiss on my mouth. “But I’m here now, luv. I know you like to take care of stuff yourself—” she shakes her head when I open my mouth to say something “—but it’s my job to help you. So let me!”

I let myself relax against the headboard. This woman. She’s nothing like anybody I’ve ever known. Pisses me off one second, soothes me the next.

“Don’t know what you can do, English. You said it yourself, speaking out is what the paparazzi wants us to do.”

She nods. “Yeah, well, I’ve been thinking about that. Knowing this—” she waves her hand “—about the…sperm donor, I think we should take charge.”

“Doing what?”

“I want to take your biographies, the ones you blokes gave to the label, and expand them a little. Put them on your website. Make them more personal. Maybe add a couple of pictures from when you were kids.”

“What’s that supposed to do?”

“We take the first step. Strike before anybody else can. We’ll start with you, open up about growing up with a single mom who worked hard after your dad disappeared one day.”

I’m shaking my head before she finishes. “You know how I feel about that shit, English. I don’t wanna use my family for—”

“I know,” she interrupts, her expression and her voice so sincere, I have to listen. “And we don’t have to go into much detail. But we can still show a father who leaves his family—who disappears!—isn’t a good guy.”

The subject fucking exhausts me. “You really think that’ll help?”

“I don’t know. But he doesn’t get to make all the rules.”

“Rules.” The word shoots a different energy through me, my dick perks up, and slow smile comes eases across my face.

“Rules,” I say again. “Goddamn rules.”

She nods like she’s encouraging me.

“Okay, English. Don’t mean to change the subject here, but you know what we talked about? The rules?”

“Yes?”

“Well, dammit, English, I really wanna fuck you!”