My therapist was a woman by the name of Patrice Clare, who could have been a professional impersonator for Whoopi Goldberg. She looked like her, spoke like her, smiled like her. She had an open warmth about her, and I felt comfortable being alone in a room with her from the second we met.

I wasn’t too comfortable with strangers, especially those who were scrutinizing me, but something about her put me at ease. She had a great professional relationship with Mrs Landon, and I trusted her judgment in character, which helped.

She asked me a lot of questions about my life, my family, my childhood, and I’d mentally prepared myself for those. But then she asked me what I hoped to get out of our meetings together. “I don’t know,” I replied.

“Well, let’s set some goals. What do you want in a week, a year, three years, ten?”

“Mrs Landon asked me something similar. And like I told her, I haven’t actually allowed myself to look to the future in so long, I’ve kind of forgotten who I am. But I’ve been thinking about it since she asked. I want what Mrs Landon has. Not the money or the house.” I shrugged. “I want to live like her: be happy and healthy, to have someone to love me, who knows what I’ve been through without judging me. But for me to recognize my past without fear or shame.”

“That’s a wonderful long-term goal, and one I have no doubt you can achieve. What about short term? What’s the next step for you?”

“Well, Mrs Landon’s trying to get me into housing. One that’s close to a new acting school. I’m excited about that. A new start, ya know? I’m truly grateful for the Landons, I really am, but I want my independence. I want to stand on my own two feet. Well, I want to try.”

She smiled at me. “It’s perfectly natural to want to reclaim your life. I’m sure the Landons know how appreciative you are.”

“I hope so. I mean, I’ve told them, but it doesn’t seem like enough.”

Patrice leaned forward and whispered with a motherly smile. “Yanni, they know.”

I didn’t know why, but that made me feel better. The very last thing I wanted to be was another disappointment to the people who had been the kindest to me.

“The hardest part about what you’ve been through,” Patrice said, “is the isolation. You finally have your freedom and are regaining your independence, but it feels deficient because you’ve lost all connections with your old life.”

I nodded. “Exactly. I’ve lost my family and my friends. I mean, my family was lost to me before… him… but my friends, that hurts, ya know?”

“Could you contact them?”

“My family?” I shook my head. “No. I spent my entire childhood afraid of who I was because they were so anti-gay. And when I actually came out… well, they made it pretty clear I wasn’t welcome.”

She blinked and I knew we’d be coming back to that topic at some point. “What about your friends?”

I took a deep breath. “Maybe.”

“But you feel like you’d need to explain and apologize.”

“Yeah. And I’m not above doing that, but…”

“But it’s an emotional hurdle you’re not ready for.”

I nodded. “I didn’t know them for very long. I didn’t really know them at all, to be honest.”

“You’ll make new friends.”

“Eventually, maybe.”

“Why do you say that?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. It just feels so out of reach right now.”

“Like you’re at the foot of the mountain you need to climb,” she elaborated.

I smiled at her. “You get this, don’t you?”

“I’ve helped a lot of people who’ve been through what you’ve been through.”

“I think I can tell.”

She chuckled quietly. “Our time is up for this session, but it was an absolute pleasure to meet you.”

“You too.”

“Yanni, I want you to think about something for me. If the opportunity comes up for you to be social, though only if you’re feeling up for it, get out of the house and talk to people. It will help you feel connected again. Only in small doses. Half an hour this week, a little longer next week. How does that sound?”

“Okay, I guess. I’m not sure if Mr or Mrs Landon want to babysit me, though.”

“It doesn’t have to be a babysitting mission. Even just a quick trip to the store.”

“I went shopping with them the other day. We got ice cream.”

“Excellent. Try again this week sometime. Nothing you’re uncomfortable with, of course. And if you’re not ready this week, then that’s okay too.”

I let out a deep breath, gave her a nod, and promised to see her next week. Which I was strangely eager to do.

And a week later, she welcomed me warmly. “How’s your week been? You’ve had a haircut?”

“Pretty good,” I admitted. “Great, actually. And yes, Mr Landon took me to a barber.” My black curly hair was still a little long on top, but at least the sides were neater. “It was nice.”

“You’re still living with the Landons?”

“Yeah. They’re very kind. Some days I have to remind myself it’s only temporary. They seem to like having me there.”

Patrice smiled warmly. “I’ve known the Landons, professionally, for twenty years. If you’re still there, it’s because they want you there.” Then she quickly added, “Not to say that when you do leave, it’s because they want you to leave.”

I laughed. “No, I know exactly what you mean. Mrs Landon’s hoping I can get a place in that house near their acting school.”

“How’s that looking?”

“She thinks in a few weeks,” I said. I couldn’t stop the smile that stole across my lips.

Patrice smiled right back at me. “That is good news.” Then she got back to business. “So, you had a few more social interactions this week?”

“Yes.” I ran my hand through my newly cut hair. “The barber. Andrew and Sarah both came to the house. Mr and Mrs Landons’ kids.”

“Yes, I know them.”

“They came and stayed a while. They’re very funny. And I went to the store again with Mrs Landon. We bought some personal things for me.”

“Such as?”

I shrugged. “Underwear. That kind of thing.”

“It must be nice accumulating some belongings again.”

More than I could say. “Yes. I’m keeping tabs on how much they’re spending on me. I want to pay it back one day. I don’t know how, but I will.”

Patrice’s smile had an edge of pride. “That sounds like a goal.”

“It is.”

She studied me for a moment. “How are you feeling, Yanni?”

“I feel good. Better than I have in a year. I’m eating and sleeping better than I can remember, and that helps my frame of mind. I understand that. But I feel… I don’t know, positive, for my future. And that’s a real good feeling.”

She went on to set me little homework tests for the week to follow, which included some pen and paper notes, but more mental than anything. She gave me a notebook, like an exercise book I had in school, and wanted me to write down notes, thoughts, reflections, and emotions. Keeping a journal was a great way to keep on track, but she wanted me to keep being forward-thinking in my social outings.

I thought about her words a lot, and when Andrew stopped by on Friday, I was kind of excited to see him. He was wearing gray trousers and a pink and gray argyle sweater. He was very handsome, and when he smiled, he looked just like his father.

“You look great!” Andrew said as soon as he saw me.

I was sure being showered and dressed in clean clothes would have been any kind of improvement to when he first saw me. But still, I’d seen him since then. “You saw me just a few days ago,” I said. “Not sure I’ve changed that much.”

“Yanni, you look like a million dollars, even compared to the other day.”

“Your parents keep me well dressed,” I said, looking down at myself. If he recognized his father’s clothes on me, he never let on. “And well fed.”

“Dad?”

I snorted. “Yes. He likes to see me eat.”

Andrew grinned. “Sounds about right. But yes, you look like life with my parents agrees with you.”

“They’re so lovely. I really need to thank you and Spencer.”

“No thanks necessary. Spencer said to say hi, by the way.”

“Oh, please tell him hello for me. And that I’m grateful for what he did.”

“I will.” Andrew smiled warmly. “Are Mom and Dad here?”

“No, they’re both at work.”

He clapped his hands together and grinned. “So you can tell me the truth. Are they driving you insane?”

“No! Absolutely not.”

“Not making you do screenplay readings and ad-libbing in the living room?”

“Well, once or twice―”

“I knew it!”

“But I love it!” I said with a laugh. “Truly, I do!”

He put his head back and groaned. “Another actor, I forgot!”

Now I laughed. “Your dad told me you and your sister never caught the acting bug.”

“No, never!”

It was nice to talk with someone closer to my age. As much as I loved spending time with Andrew’s parents, Patrice’s words came back to me about making new friends. Actually, it wasn’t even that he was my age or that his parents weren’t, but just someone new to talk to.

And talk, we did. He told me about his work, which was interesting to say the very least. He drew animation boards for Universal, so for a digital artist, it didn’t really get much cooler than that.

We sat at the kitchen island while I plated up some leftover pasta and told Andrew all about my week so far and his mother’s hopes of finding me a place in a house so maybe I could go back to school.

“That’s awesome!” he said with a mouthful of food. He pointed his fork to his bowl of pastitsio. “And this is really good.”

“It’s a family recipe,” I explained. “I cooked it for your parents.”

He chewed and swallowed thoughtfully. “Your family…?”

“Don’t make for pleasant conversations.” I frowned at my meal. “I shouldn’t have brought them up, sorry.”

“It’s perfectly fine. You don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want.”

“Thanks. My therapist asked a bunch of questions, stuff I hadn’t thought of in a long time, so I guess it’s been on my mind. I don’t normally like to talk about it. I thought they were the worst thing to happen to me until I met… him.”

“Well, he won’t be bothering you anymore,” Andrew said. “Spencer and Emilio paid him a little visit at his work the day after he found you. Gave him a taste of his own medicine.”

My stomach twisted, threatening to expel my dinner. “They hit him?”

“No!” Andrew said quickly. “No, not like that. Just told him they knew what he’d done and threatened him. Apparently that was all it took. He almost crapped himself.”

I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. “Was he angry? Does he know where I am?”

Andrew stood up and came around my side and put his hand on my arm. “No. Yanni, you’re safe here. He knows nothing. And from what Spencer told me, he won’t be looking for you. He wouldn’t be game to try.”

My mouth was dry and I had trouble swallowing. “He won’t ever stop looking for me. He told me that.”

Andrew moved his hand to my back and rubbed reassuringly. “He’s finished. He’s done. Mom told me you went back to the police. Out of all the things he is, a monster, an asshole, a snake, the one thing he is the most is a coward. He wouldn’t survive five minutes in jail, and he knows it. Yanni, he’s out of your life for good.”

I tried to take comfort in his words, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever believe it. If not now, I knew I’d have to face him again at some point. And that was something I couldn’t even think about right now.

“You know what?” Andrew said. “How about we get out of here for a while? We can just drive downtown, grab some beers if you want?”

“I uh, I don’t drink.

“Soda? God knows Mom and Dad don’t have sodas in the house. What kind of soda have you been craving?”

I almost smiled. I hadn’t had soda in so long. “Root beer.”

Andrew grabbed up his keys. “Excellent, let’s go.”

We drove down to the Boulevard, a place I hadn’t seen in what felt like forever. When I was a kid, I dreamed of coming here. When my relationship with my parents came to an abrupt end, this was the first place I went. It was where I was going to make it big and make it on my own.

Until life, and him made sure that didn’t happen.

Though as Andrew drove, it was hard not to smile at the lights and the strictly LA feel. Maybe it was why Andrew chose it. To let me see the lights, the people, how life hadn’t actually stopped around me.

We pulled up at a store but Andrew had to double-park. He took out twenty dollars and handed it to me. “You all right to go in on your own?”

“Sure.” I wanted to prove I could do this. A simple thing like going into a store by myself. It was all very normal; no one paid any attention while I found what I wanted, and the cashier even smiled. God, it was such an everyday thing to do, yet something that felt so unreal. It was ridiculous how excited I was. I collected my six-pack of root beer, and when I got back in Andrew’s car, he was on his phone. He held it to his chest and looked at me. “Spencer is at a diner just down the road. He asked if we wanted to join him, but only if you want to.”

I thought about what Patrice had said, about being more social in situations where I felt safe. But then Andrew added, “He’s having coffee with a friend. So you know there will be somebody else there. I’ve never met this guy, but Spencer trusts him.”

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to meet strangers, but I wanted to see Spencer to thank him. And if he trusted this man, then I would too. “Um, okay.”

When Andrew said it was just down the road, he wasn’t kidding. Literally two blocks later we pulled up to a small diner and went inside. Spencer stood to greet me, and I didn’t know what came over me, but I was so pleased to see him that I hugged him. He was the man who saved me. I hadn’t known it at the time, but I knew it now.

I think I surprised him more than I surprised myself, but we settled into our seats, and it was then I noticed the man across from me. He was possibly early forties, with short blond-gray hair, blue eyes, and a kind face. He was also wearing a tuxedo, so he looked every penny of a million dollars. A quick round of introductions later, I discovered his name was Peter, and he had a smile that made me feel safe.

Spencer spoke first. “Yanni? How’s life with the Landons going?”

“Oh, it couldn’t be better,” I said. “They’re just the nicest people ever.”

“But they’re driving him crazy,” Andrew added.

I laughed and shook my head vehemently. “No, no. They’ve been very generous. I really do owe you everything, Spencer. If it weren’t for you…”

Peter exchanged a questioning glance at Spencer, so I quickly explained. “My ex hired Spencer to track me down and… befriend me. He… wasn’t a nice man, and Spencer took me in. He saved me.”

Spencer looked modestly embarrassed. “Well, I don’t know about that. I couldn’t leave you where you were, that was for certain. It was Andrew’s parents who took you in.” Peter was staring at him, so Spencer added, “I kinda just did what was right.”

“You’re one of the good ones, Spencer,” Peter said. Then, with a heavy sigh, he gave me and Andrew a sad smile. “My ex is exactly that. My ex. It was confirmed tonight that he has no interest in returning to me.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Andrew said. I nodded sympathetically.

Peter simply shrugged it off. “Well, if he can move on so easily, it should be easy for me to do the same, right?”

“If only it was,” I answered quietly.

Peter smiled at that. “So very true. Anyway, Spencer here very graciously offered to keep me company, for which I’m grateful.”

Our conversation was interrupted by a waitress delivering our dessert. Coffee and pie was such an everyday thing, and I tried not to let on that it was special to me. I remembered Mr Landon telling me that I didn’t need to wait for permission to eat, and I didn’t want Spencer or Peter to think that I was weird or damaged, so as they began to eat their pie, I picked up my fork and did the same. Spencer and Andrew were playfully bickering over their shared plate, so any hesitation on my part, or any uneasiness, thankfully went unnoticed.

I wasn’t sure what to say or how to contribute to the conversation. I used to be outgoing, used to be the loud one, the one whose laughter would make everyone smile. But I hadn’t been that Yanni in a long time. Thankfully Andrew prompted a conversation about silent movies, of all things, and I knew that small piece of information must’ve come from his parents, but most surprisingly, Peter looked up at me and said, “Oh, I love silent movies!”

“Me too! I thought I was the only one! Most of the people I went to acting school with were all about Tarantino or Scorsese. And I do appreciate them, but silent movies are my favorite.”

Peter sipped his coffee but was quick to nod. “I agree! The characterization, the portrayal of emotion and sentiment without saying a word is a talent lost in today’s cinema.”

I stared at him. “I said the same thing to Andrew’s dad just the other day. We were watching Joan of Arc, talking about the craft of method acting and cinematography.”

Peter swallowed his mouthful of pie and smiled. “Oh, I haven’t seen that in years. But my favorite is Charlie Chaplin. I guess he’s everyone’s favorite. The most famous, most likely.”

I was almost giddy, getting to talk about my passion outside of acting class or away from the Landons. I was having adult conversation, being social without judgment, and that felt pretty amazing. I couldn’t wait to tell Patrice. But soon enough, our cups were empty and our plates cleared away, and I was hit with a pang of sadness when Peter announced he should be going.

“Thank you for this evening.”

Spencer was quick to reply. “No worries at all.”

And as they both began to slide out of the booth, Peter said it was nice to meet me and something came over me. I didn’t know what it was. Bravery? Foolishness? But the words were out before I could stop them.

“If you want to catch a movie,” I said, “there’s a cinema in West Hollywood that plays silent films.”

“Oh,” Peter said, clearly surprised. He swallowed hard and spoke kindly. “I’m truly flattered, but I’m not looking for that right now. I think I need to give my old heart some breathing room.”

I felt the blood drain from my face when I realized he thought I’d just asked him out on a date. “I didn’t mean…” I shook my head and turned to Andrew for help. “I didn’t mean… Oh God.”

Andrew gently put his hand on my arm before I could have a complete meltdown, but he looked to Peter when he spoke. “I don’t think Yanni meant it like a date.”

I shook my head again and swallowed down the pie that was now a roiling lump in my stomach. I could feel the cold spread of panic starting to seep from my chest. “No, I’m so not ready for that. Like really, really not ready for that. But my therapist said I should try and make new friends. You like silent films and I love them, and I just thought, well, I don’t even know what I thought.”

I didn’t know whether he took pity or if he was worried I was some fragile little kid. “Yanni,” he said warmly. “I’d love to see a film with you. Spencer and Andrew can come along if they’d like”—he looked to Spencer and nodded before turning back to me—“if you’d prefer. Because having friends sounds perfect to me right now. Well, friends, popcorn, and Charlie Chaplin.”

Oh, thank God. I nodded. “Okay.”

“Spencer can give you my phone number and email,” Peter added.

“I can,” Spencer said, giving me a bit of a grin. Peter put his jacket on and said goodbye and left.

Spencer let out a long sigh. “Man, I wanted him to be one of my success stories.”

“He’s a nice guy,” Andrew offered.

“He is. Decent and honest. Which is rare these days.”

“Except for me.” Andrew sniffed indignantly. “I was honest and decent, right?”

Spencer laughed. “Honest, yes. Decently indecent. In the best of ways.”

Andrew threw his scrunched up napkin at Spencer’s face. “Just because you’re looking all hot in your tux with your bow tie off and buttons open doesn’t mean you can say those things.”

I tuned their playful banter out until I heard my name. “Yanni? You okay?”

“Oh, sure. Well, not really. Do you think I should have done that? Asked Peter if he wanted to be friends? I mean, who even does that outside of kindergarten? But he seems like a nice guy? Doesn’t he? I know my ability to see people for what they are isn’t great, but we like the same movies, don’t we? No one else I know loves silent films.”

God, I felt so foolish. I felt like a kid. Peter was probably twice my age and certainly didn’t want to be babysitting a kid with more issues than Cosmopolitan.

As always, Spencer was quick with a sympathetic response. “I think you and Peter would be good friends. I’ve only known Peter a week, but we’ve talked a lot. I’ve asked him a bunch of personal questions, and he was honest with me every time. I’ve been to his house, I’ve been in his car, and I felt one hundred percent comfortable with him at all times.”

It was like he knew exactly what to say. “Good.”

“And you didn’t ask him if he wanted to be friends,” he added. “You asked him if he wanted to hang out sometime. And that’s what new friends do. You did good.”

My anxiety reduced to a simmer, and I reminded myself that even small steps were still steps forward.

Then Andrew said, “We better get going. It’s getting late.”

As we made our way back to Andrew’s car, Spencer asked if it was okay if he tagged along, and I realized that Spencer was entitled to be there, and I was the one tagging along. “If you two wanna go, I can…” I looked off down the street. I wasn’t sure what I’d do exactly. I had no money, no phone. I couldn’t call a cab. Hell, I couldn’t even catch a bus.

Andrew sighed and looked at us both over the roof of his car. “Would you two just get in?”

I climbed into the backseat, leaving Spencer to get in the passenger seat. “He’s always bossy like that,” Spencer said to me as Andrew got into the car. “Don’t let his geeky sweater vests fool you. He was on the cover of Bossy Geeks and everything.”

Andrew started the car and stared at Spencer. “I hate you.”

Spencer took his hand and kissed his knuckles. “No, you don’t.”

It was so obvious they were very much in love. They bantered and teased, but it was all so very lovely to watch. I ignored the ache in my chest, the longing. “You two can stop being so cute now.”

“Well, Spencer can,” Andrew deadpanned. “I, unfortunately, am cute all the time.”

Spencer laughed. “It’s true. He is.”

They dropped me back at Andrew’s parents’ house and said a quick hello to Mrs Landon while I put the root beer in the fridge. After they’d gone, Mrs Landon met me in the kitchen. “How was your night?” she asked, like she wanted me to dish on all the gossip.

“It was fun. Andrew and I only intended to go to the store, but Spencer was literally just a block away. He invited us to join him. We had coffee and pie.”

“Sounds lovely.”

“Spencer is a great guy, and it’s pretty obvious that he’s in love with Andrew. You know that look?”

Mrs Landon tilted her head and smiled. “I think so.”

Of course she knew. Mr Landon looked at her like that all day long.

Then I blurted out, “I asked someone if he wanted to go to the silent movie theater sometime, and he thought I was asking him on a date. It was so awkward, and I was horrified because that’s not what I meant at all. I’m trying to be sociable, like Patrice suggested, and this guy is a nice guy. His name’s Peter and Spencer trusts him, and he likes silent movies as much as I do.” I let my head fall into my hands. “I almost died of embarrassment. Thankfully Andrew saved the situation.”

Mrs Landon gently rubbed my shoulder. “What did he say?”

I looked up to find her smiling. “Who? Peter or Andrew?”

“Peter.”

“He said, yes. Just friends, though,” I stressed again. “Apparently he just broke up with his boyfriend. Well, his boyfriend dumped him, so we probably make for good company right now.”

Her smile was wide and warm and she gave me a bit of a hug and bid me goodnight. I went to my room, showered, and changed into pajamas. I picked up my backpack and climbed into bed, then stopped.

Did I need to sleep with my backpack under the covers anymore? Certainly no one in the Landons’ home was going to steal it. I let it fall gently beside the bed and snuggled down in the warmth and softness.

My mind whirled back over the evening, and I smiled at the ceiling. I was taking back control of my life. I had a friendly non-date outing to see a silent film. Not only was Peter gorgeous and smart, but we seemed to hit it off. As friends. And even though I still slept with the light on, I closed my eyes, and I was sure it was the first time in years that I fell asleep with a smile on my face and hope in my heart.