Chloe, he murmured. God, youre so beautiful.

The look in his eyes, the way his hands tightened, not quite closing, as if he was imagining her breasts in their grasp, made such simple, non-poetic words ignite with a fire that increased her own desire. She continued that slow rub, and then, reaching beneath her, tipped his heavy weight up enough to fit herself onto him. Holding his gaze, she moved forward and then back, sliding down his length like hot fudge down the side of a sundae, too good to resist a bite and wanting more.

The birds continued chirping, calling back and forth. The afternoon sun diamond paned through the trees, jagged bits of gold reaching through to touch his face, bathe all those wonderful muscles, the lines of his body. He was like a living happiness book laid out before her, every page seen and unseen. She wanted to read every word, see every image. Touch every page of that book, front and back.

I love your cock, she breathed. I love the way it feels inside me, how when I rise and fall on it, the ridge of your head stretches me, makes me feel hotter from the friction. The fire in his gaze grew, but she wasnt finished.

I love to watch your face when I do this. Cupping her breasts, she grazed her nipples with her fingers, her heart rate increasing at the way his eyes latched onto the movement, his regard heating her fingers.

The way youre looking at them, makes it feel like these are your fingers touching me. The way you press your lips together, its as if youre already tasting them. Youd taste the strawberry lingering on them from this morning, because your mouth was on them then too.

Do you like knowing I have to wait until you tell me I can do that, suckle your nipples? His voice ran shivers up her spine.

Yeah. I do.

His hands closed on the grass, muscles bunching, power rippling over his shoulders as she purred her next words. I love the way you work so hard to stay still when Im working your cock inside me this way, squeezing, pulling. Stroking. She let her body move in those tiny increments, doing just that. Im imagining how your balls are drawing up, wanting to come inside me. How long youll keep waiting for that one single word from me. Waiting for yes.

I want to see you come, he said, in a growl that tingled up her spine, because of the need in it, despite the fact he kept his hands where shed ordered.

The rising desire twined the physical and emotional together. Lust was gaining an intensity that made her want to give him honesty. She didnt want him to merely forgive her earlier ugliness. She wanted to ask for it, make amends. The honesty was as much a part of what she needed in this moment as the release, one necessary for the purity of the other.

What you are, what youve done, its like going to a circus, Brendan. She went completely still, holding him within her, fingers digging into his chest to bring his attention to her face, despite her breathless tone. It fascinates and saddens me both, because its not my world. I feel like an actor on a stage, pretending to be Guinevere, not really her, because I dont feel it the way you do.

His fingers flexed against the grass again. She knew shed want them on her soon, but she had to get this out, give him the truth, so he could have it to protect him from her next horrible spurt of anger. Thats what I should have said, she whispered, rather than making that horrible remark.

But I want you, Brendan. So much. I want to know that none of it matters, that you want me too. I know Im different from those other Mistresses. I need to know thats okay, but Im afraid its not.

He lifted his hands then, shifted his upper body so that he could cup her face, let her feel the strength that was reflected in his expression. I wont come until you believe it, Chloe. No matter what you do to me. His eyes, all three colors, were vibrant. Not now, not later, not while Im by myself. Not until you believe it enough to say the two words youll say to me then, and mean them with everything you are.

Keeping his gaze on hers, he lay back down, deliberately dropped his arms back to the sides as shed commanded.

The steel of his cock moved in her, aching for her to milk it to completion. She could override him, she thought, squeeze and taunt until biology defeated will, but looking at the resolve in his eyes, she wasnt sure she would in fact succeed. She might not know what made up those fortress walls shed run up against earlier, but now she had a sense of what lay behind the drawbridge. Whatever hung in the balance between them was essential to who and what he was, and shed uncovered it, touched it with her words and body.

More than a little overwhelmed, she curled her fingers into his shirt, his muscles flexing beneath her palms. Would you, could you, in a park?

Can you, will you, in the dark?

Slowly, that intent resolve was replaced transformed by of humor as he picked up on her bastardized Dr. Seuss reference. Only at your word, Sam. Thats what I want. Who I am.

When she would have lifted off him, he disobeyed orders, settling his hands on her hips, holding her in place. It doesnt mean you cant come.

You want to, I can tell. Even now, hed worked under the skirt, and before she could think to protest, shed arched up with a hiss as his thumb found her clit, pressed and began those highly skilled, intuitive circles.

Brendan, she gasped, her hand on his chest becoming a tighter clutch as she rocked involuntarily on him. Thisisntfairto you.

Its not about fair. Its about giving you pleasure, letting you take it. This cock is yours, Chloe. Use it. Its yours.

The demand nearly melted her brain. Heedless of who might be watching now, she was lifting, plunging, feeling him thrust harder, matching the spiral of response churning up from where his fingers were. His gaze followed her breasts, the way each downward impact made them quiver, the flutter of the open shirt showing him the dark flush color of her nipples. She saw that press of lips, how he wanted to suckle them, and part of her wanted that too. But the other part was fascinated enough to go down a little harder on him, make the quiver become a definite wobble, a provocative jiggle where the nipples were making his mouth water to taste them. A ll male animal beneath her, between her thighs, all under her control. Yet holding the reins felt like such a delicate business, as if any moment hed break forth from the leash, even knowing he wouldnt.

Brendan Realizing she was about to come hard, and there were people who were in hearing distance, she still couldnt make herself stop.

In a swift move, he drew her down against his chest, palm flattening under her shirt against her bare back. He held her close, her movements rubbing her clit against firm muscle and bone, his cock moving inside her still. He was iron all over, so she felt the powerful fight, the strain to hold onto his control as she went over, turning her mouth into his neck so her cries were muffled, her body twitching on his, the skirt ruffling over her ankles and his knees.

She wanted him to come. She really, really did, wanted to feel it, but she couldnt say that word. She wanted to test him, just as hed predicted.

A s she spiraled away on the tide of her own release, she wondered how someone she hadnt let all the way into her soul already seemed to understand and know every room, light and dark.

Her knight had gotten over her drawbridge and much further into her fortress than shed gotten into his.

She just hoped the dragon inside hers wouldnt end up tearing him to pieces.

Chapter Seventeen

How could a woman not fall for a male willing to bind himself to self-denial for her own pleasure? Or was that self-abstinence? She wasnt sure what term applied to a man willing to deny his own release, while she used him to fuck her brains out whenever she wished.

It was possible he got off on it, some equivalent type of psychological orgasm. Maybe. However, she suspected the truth was far more complex and more than she wanted to explore right now.

Theyd spent a few more hours in the park, going on that canoe ride, walking the hiking paths in the hushed pine forests. A t one point, theyd helped a young girl corral her escaped pair of Jack Russell terriers. The dogs considered being chased a game, up until Brendan, thinking fast, stripped down to his boxers and plunged into the water with the leashes. Theyd followed him, yipping excitedly, and hed gotten hold of the collars and snapped the leashes back on. Hed emerged with laughter and triumph in his face, as well as thin cotton plastered to his privates and backside in a way that had stirred her anew, as well as any other woman in the park with a pulse.

But while he might have masochistic tendencies, she tried to quell her unexpectedly sadistic ones. It was difficult, particularly when he didnt spare himself, being as physically affectionate as hed been all along, stopping to give her long, drugging kisses on those paths as her hands ran up his back and down over his ass. When she leaned into him, she registered the tremor in those muscles, the turgid state of his cock, her barest touch hardening him further, his cock jumping eagerly. However, it was his mindand her wordthat were the leashes that kept him in check. She had to admit, it was heady, powerful stuff.

It was also very convincing. Despite what he was, she thought back to the auction, all the beautiful women. Except for a respectful nod to Marguerite at Tylers table, his attention had all been for her. Earlier, on the picnic blanket, it had been indescribable. When he gazed up at her from the ground, his cock hard and demanding inside her, everything in him focused on what she wanted and needed, denying the ache and primal need of his own body through her orgasmit had been mind blowing.

Perversely, such commitment made it hard for her to resist the compulsion to give him his release, give him those words that would do it. For some reason, it made her recall her readings, the term topping from the bottom, where a submissive controlled the direction. It had been discussed as a negative, where the submissive wasnt truly being pushed to where they needed to be, a true release of control. Which brought her back to Mistress Lydas uncomfortably knowledgeable eyes.

Oh how the hell could she really know whether or not Brendan was doing something like that, and whether or not it was good or bad, for either one of them? She wasnt a Mistress, and Brendan had said she didnt need to worry about those kinds of things, anyway.

Shed dated everything from a rough and semi-violent biker to a computer analyst who had an addiction to X-Men comics. Her natural curiosity and acceptance, BVA Before Violent A ttackhad let her get beneath the surface, find the polish of the roughest, uncut gems. Shed always been satisfied with her journeys, sad but accepting when she knew it was over.