Nicolette

 

“Good morning, Nicolette.”

 

“Good morning, Brenda.” I smiled at the front desk woman as I breezed through the front doors of Stephens & Coolidge, Attorneys at Law. I’d only lived in Durango, Colorado for about three weeks, but I loved it so far. It was boring. It was quiet. It was absolutely everything I needed after spending the past five years in hell.

 

“How was your weekend?”

 

I smiled, setting my bag down on my desk. “It was good,” I said slowly. “A little boring.” I couldn’t help but blush. “I’m finally fixing up the inside of that cottage. I got such a good deal on it! But wow, it needed so much work.”

 

Brenda nodded as though she understood. She was a little older than me – maybe late twenties – with a bubbly head of blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Despite our differences, I really liked her. She was sweet and caring, not the type of woman I was used to being around.

 

I knew if she ever discovered my background, she’d probably hate me.

 

“How was yours?”

 

Brenda grinned. “I had a date,” she said with a secretive hint in her voice. “Connor finally asked me out.” She glanced down at her lap self-consciously. “I told him yes, as long as he doesn’t mind two girls for the price of one!”

 

I laughed politely. Brenda was a single mom, and she often joked about how difficult it was to find men interested in dating someone who wasn’t childfree. I couldn’t understand it; she was obviously gorgeous and fun. Why wouldn’t a guy want someone like her?

 

Because brats are trouble. I shivered at the recollection of Jack’s – my ex’s – voice inside my head. Getting away from Jack was just one of the reasons I’d moved to Durango, and one of the reasons I knew I could never go back home to California. I’d grown up in Carlsbad, and for years I’d never thought of leaving. But after things with Jack turned sour, well, I knew if I didn’t get out, I’d probably be dead within a year or two.

 

“I’m sure it’ll work out,” I told her.

 

The office was quiet for a Monday. Both of our lawyers – Mr. Stephens and Mr. Coolidge – were in court, and I knew I could expect a long morning of editing documents and preparing motions for later court dates this week. Still, I felt happy. It was such a welcome change from everything I’d run away from that it almost seemed like a dream. Hell, it even seemed too good to be true at times. I couldn’t believe I’d made it out of Carlsbad and begun to turn my life around.

 

And to think I was only twenty-two!

 

# # #

 

When I first met Jack, it was like a fairytale. He was three years older than me – seventeen to my fourteen – and he seemed like a real man. He had hair on his chest and bulging, muscular biceps. When he smiled at me, I thought my heart was going to melt out of my body and drip onto the floor.

 

My friends all teased me about having a crush, but I knew I was right and they were wrong: this wasn’t just a crush, it was true love. I spent hours doodling Jack’s name in my school notebooks, blowing off my studies. It was just as well. I’d never been great in school anyhow. And obsessing over Jack really gave me something to think about, something I thought I’d want for the rest of my life.

 

The day he first asked me out, I thought I was in heaven. He came up to me in the parking lot after school, where I was waiting for a ride home from my mom. With his tight bootcut jeans and black leather jacket, I thought he looked tough and sexy. When we made eye contact, my cheeks burned bright red with excitement and shock that someone like him would ever want someone like me.

 

“You wanna go to the movies this weekend, Nicolette?”

 

I had stammered and blushed and bit my lip. “Yeah,” I said softly. “That would be great. When are you picking me up?”

 

Jack snorted. He spat on the ground and sucked his teeth. “I ain’t pickin’ you up,” he said. “You meet me there. I can’t have my parents seeing me with a girl.”

 

He said it like a dirty word. I should have known at the time, should have taken it as a red flag. But I couldn’t – it was like there was some secret, cosmic rope pulling me towards Jack and no matter what I did, I couldn’t pull away. He’d already become the center of my universe, and we’d barely talked! Thinking of going on a real date with him was too good to be true.

 

That weekend, I met him at the movies after spending a painstaking hour crimping my hair and applying glitter eye shadow to my lids. I had to do it all in secret: Mom and Dad were real strict, and if they ever knew I was planning to meet up with a boy three years my senior, I knew I’d really catch hell. But I lied, and told them I was going out with a girlfriend. Dad didn’t ask any questions after that. I knew talking about girl stuff always made him squeamish.

 

I could hardly wait to see my Prince Charming. When I skipped up to the movie theater, I was shocked to see Jack already there, smoking a cigarette. It occurred to me then that I thought he’d stand me up. Somehow, I wasn’t actually convinced he liked me. It seemed improbable. How could someone as sexy and grown-up as Jack want me, a skinny little fourteen-year-old girl?

 

That night turned out to be the best night of my life so far. Jack bought us tickets to a movie and popcorn, which we shared. Every time my fingers touched his in the tub of popcorn, I shivered with lust. Just sitting next to him was enough to set me off, and the electricity crackled between us as the movie started.

 

Now, I couldn’t tell you what we saw. In fact, I barely even watched the movie. I was more taken with Jack: his sexy profile, the scent of his cologne wafting over from the seat next to mine. He enchanted me. I imagined him taking me home and kissing me gently on the lips. Maybe we’d even French! I’d never Frenched before, though I had kissed a couple of guys by the time I was a freshman in high school. My friend Alex always told me I moved too fast, but I was determined to prove her wrong once and for all. I didn’t move too fast – I moved at exactly the right pace to entice Jack Duncan.

 

When the movie was over, Jack asked if I wanted to go for a drive. I was nervous – I remember that my skin was cold and clammy and my stomach kept turning over and over. I was so thrilled at the idea of being alone with him! But as soon as we were driving through the country, I realized I might have gotten more than I bargained for. After all, Jack was close to an adult. My palms began to sweat and itch as I realized that he’d probably had sex before. Like, actual sex.

 

I wondered if my parents would kill me if they knew where I was.

 

Jack pulled the car over to an overlook, by the mountains. The night air was cool and I shivered – I’d only worn a tank top with my favorite pair of jeans. Jack grinned when he saw me with my arms wrapped around myself. He slid out of his jacket and passed it over to me in one smooth motion, without losing focus on the road. I shivered again – not because I was cold, but because the jacket smelled deliciously like him. Like danger, like spicy cologne. Like illicit cigarettes smoked after dark in some parking lot in the middle of nowhere, watching the stars.

 

As the car rolled to a slow stop, Jack turned off the headlights. For a moment, everything was black. Then my eyes adjusted and I could see his eyes, staring right at me. I felt like he could see me without my clothes on, like he could see everything I was and everything I felt. It was the most exposed sensation I’d ever had, and I struggled to hold his gaze.

 

“Thanks for inviting me out tonight,” I said shyly. “I had a lot of fun.”

 

Jack grinned, exposing a row of white teeth. They weren’t too even; I could tell he needed braces and hadn’t had them, but the overall effect was still sexy as hell. I blushed.

 

“You’re a real babe,” Jack said.

 

I blushed even harder as he reached out to stroke my cheek. As he ran his hand down the side of my face, he wrapped his other arm around my shoulders and tried to pull me closer. At first, it felt awkward: I was still buckled into my seat belt and I giggled nervously as we struggled together for a moment. Finally, I managed to unbuckle the nylon belt holding me against the seat and I launched forward into Jack’s arms.

 

He pressed his lips to mine and I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of the kiss. My first real kiss. His chin was rough with stubble and the usual teenage acne, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was the sensation of him, wrapped around me, making me feel safe. The smell of cologne and cigarette smoke was enough to make me dizzy. When he slipped his tongue in my mouth, I almost drew back because the sensation was something unlike that which I’d ever felt. His tongue wasn’t slimy, but it was viscerally wet. After a moment, I began to enjoy the sensation, and I found I couldn’t imagine kissing without it.

 

Jack slid his hand down my back and pressed me closer. The gesture was both familiar and startlingly possessive. A shiver of lust crawled down my spine as I felt my body slam against his. Our kiss deepened and the sensations coursing through my body grew even more intense as I moaned softly into Jack’s mouth.

 

“God,” Jack muttered. He tangled his hands in my hair and tugged – not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to make my eyes roll back in my head. I couldn’t believe this – I was finally here, making out with a hot guy in his car! I was finally making out!

 

Jack grabbed one of my hands and tugged it towards him. He set it on his lap and began rubbing his crotch with my hand grasped in his. I felt a huge bulge under the fly of his jeans and I almost cried out with surprise. His dick felt so big – I was suddenly afraid that whatever we were doing, whatever sex was, that it wouldn’t work. He’s not going to fit, I realized as Jack rubbed himself faster and faster against my hand. I began to find the rhythm and after a moment, Jack let his hand fall away and I continued pleasuring him on my own.

 

The sensation swarming through my body was incredible. I felt like my skin was on fire, like fireworks were exploding right beneath the surface. As I rubbed Jack, I noticed a change in his own behavior: he began breathing more heavily and his face grew damp with sweat. The car was filled with an intense, musky odor.

 

When he uttered a groan of pleasure and jerked his hips against my hand, I began rubbing him faster than ever before. Then Jack suddenly shoved my hand away, but not before I’d felt a touch of wet denim under my fingertips.

 

He grinned at me again, panting like a dog. “That’s enough for now,” Jack said. He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket, lit it with the knob on the dashboard, and leaned back in his seat with a smug expression on his handsome face.

 

I should have known at the time it would be the last time I felt truly happy around Jack Duncan.