SHE FELT WOODEN during the twenty-minute ceremony, and then dead during the reception.
It was all a blur. The meal. The toasts. The music. The cake.
She didn’t even remember stepping on to the ballroom floor for their dance. She couldn’t feel her legs. Couldn’t feel anything but Gio’s hand on her side, his hand on her back, his hand on her arm as he steered her here and there, from one place to another, keeping her moving, keeping up appearances, keeping it together.
And then finally, finally it was over and she was in her room, but it wasn’t her room anymore. During the reception someone had emptied the wardrobe in the blue guest room and taken everything out, taking all of her things out, putting them elsewhere.
Rachel sank onto her bed, the bed that was no longer her bed, her white full skirts pillowing up, and then fluttering down.
She didn’t have anything anymore. She wasn’t even herself anymore.
The door opened and closed. She knew without looking that it was Gio. She could feel his energy and intensity from across the room.
“This isn’t your room anymore,” he said quietly.
Hot tears filled her eyes. “You’ve taken everything from me.”
“But I’ve also given everything to you. My home, my name, my heart—”
“You don’t have a heart.”
He didn’t answer, not right away. He walked around the perimeter of the room, studying the blue silk wall covering and the enormous gold framed mirror and then the blue painted dresser with the pair of blue vases.
“If that was true, then I wouldn’t feel anything right now,” he said, lifting one of the blue vases and turning it in his hands. “I wouldn’t care so very much that I’ve hurt you. And I wouldn’t mind that you’re in here, alone, feeling betrayed and deceived.” He set the vase back down and faced her. “But I do mind very much. It wounds me that I’ve hurt you and ruined your wedding day—”
“Please stop. You’re just making it worse. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to see you. I just want to go home, to Seattle.”
“But this is your home now.”
“No.”
“Yes. And we are a family now.”
“Never!”
“And my wife, whom I love.”
She covered her ears and squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to listen, unable to endure any more. He’d won. Couldn’t he see that he’d won? Did he have to break her completely? “Then prove it,” she cried, jumping up. “Prove you love me. Do what’s best for me. Let me go.”
He stood before her, expression shuttered. “Giving up on you, giving up on us, doesn’t prove love. It shows defeat.”
“I’m not a challenge. I’m not a business deal.”
“I know. You’re my wife.”
“But I don’t want to be your wife, not like this, and for me, this...” She gestured to the room, the house, the city beyond the windows, “This will never be okay.”
She had to go. She had to get out of here. She’d leave everything behind. She didn’t need her clothes, or her suitcase. She just needed her passport. “I’m leaving,” she said hoarsely. “Tonight. I don’t want anything from you. I don’t want money. I just want my passport so I can go.”
“What about Michael’s?”
“I’m not taking him with me. He will stay here with you for now, but I’m hiring an attorney. I’m going to sue for custody—”
“It could take years, and I’m not sure you’d win.”
“What else am I to do? Stay here and pretend that you didn’t lie to me and manipulate me?”
“I’m asking you to forgive me. I’m asking you to understand that I was in a difficult position, too.”
“I was not a gold digger!” She threw the words at him, eyes brilliant with unshed tears. “I never wanted your money. I wanted you.”
“Good. Because I want you. Not just want you. I need you.” He hesitated. “I need you with me.”
“You don’t mean it. You can’t even say the words without flinching.”
“It’s true. I don’t speak of love easily, and until tonight, I have never told any woman I loved her. Just as you refused to make love until you had found the right one, I have held out, too. There are only a few people in my life that I can say I truly love. My mother. My brother. Michael. And you.” He approached her. “Yes, you. I love you, Rachel.”
“You’re only saying that because you’re desperate.”
“You’re absolutely right. I am desperate. I’m desperate for you to stay. I’m desperate to salvage what’s left of our wedding day. Today was horrendous, but we still have the night—”
“No.”
“Yes. We have the night, and we have every night from now on. I’m not going to let you go. This is your home now. You belong here, with me.” He moved toward her, a slow walk to match his measured words. “Rachel, I didn’t have to marry.”
“But you did. The media...the company going public...you couldn’t have the scandal.”
“Money is money. I have plenty of it, but money doesn’t buy happiness and I would never, ever marry just to protect my financial interests or investments.”
“But you said—”
“It was a tactic.” He shrugged, unrepentant. “I wanted you here. I wanted you with me. And yes, I want Michael, but I want you every bit as much. From the moment you appeared on my doorstep, you’ve been mine. I waited thirty-eight years to find someone like you. You can’t think I’m just going to give you up?”
Her head spun. He was saying the right words, all the things she’d wanted him to say, but why did he wait so long? Why hadn’t he shared all of this before? “You just don’t want me to go.”
“You’re right. I didn’t marry you in an extravagant, romantic wedding to lose my bride before the honeymoon.”
She drew a quick, sharp breath. “There will be no honeymoon.”
“Of course there will, but there won’t be if you leave.”
He was trying a new tactic, she thought, and she didn’t want to be intrigued but she couldn’t help showing a little interest. “Why haven’t you mentioned it before?” she asked suspiciously.
“Because it was supposed to be a surprise.”
She wished she wasn’t curious. She wished she didn’t care. But she did care, not about the trip, but about what he might have planned for her. For them. “Where were we going to go?”
“Ravello, on the Amalfi Coast.”
Rachel drew a quick, shallow breath, feeling far too many emotions, not the least being regret. “Were we going to take Michael?”
“No. Not on our honeymoon. I wanted time alone with you, my bride, my wife, my heart.” He reached for her and drew her toward him, little by little, step by step, ignoring her resistance.
Or maybe it was because she didn’t resist very much.
Rachel was exhausted. It had been a roller coaster of a day, up and down, and down and down, and even though she didn’t want to care for him, she did. Her love wasn’t a flimsy thing, but strong and deep and true.
“You have hurt me so much today,” she whispered as he pulled her against him. She rested her cheek on his chest, his arm tight around her.
“I am sorry. I didn’t want to bring those letters to you before the wedding, but how could I share them with you after?” He stroked her hair, and then down her back. “That would have been even worse. And so even though the timing was awful, I did what I thought was right. Shared with you everything I knew.”
“Even though it meant ruining our day.”
“I’d rather we ruin a day than start our marriage with a lie.”
Rachel closed her eyes and breathed him in, needing his arms right now, and his warmth. She needed him and loved him, for better or worse. “And what would you do with me on our honeymoon?”
“I would make love to you three or four times a day. I would love you until you felt secure and understood that you’re the only woman I have ever wanted to marry. I did not marry you out of obligation or to satisfy the international stock market.”
She tipped her head back to look up at him. His bright blue eyes glinted with tenderness and humor.
“It’s true,” he added, his expression changing, the laughter giving way to a focused intensity. “I married you, bella, because I love you. And just in case you need to hear it again, Rachel, bella, ti amo. I love you. I love you. Do you understand?”
Her heart was beating a mile a minute. “I think so.”
“You’re not convinced?”
“Not entirely. Not yet.”
“What else can I do?”
She touched her tongue to her upper lip, dampening it. “Take me on that honeymoon?”
He grinned, and then his grin faded and he kissed her, a long, searing, bone-melting kiss. “We leave tomorrow,” he said. “And we’d better sort out our birth control, or you’ll be pregnant before you know it.”