Chapter Fifteen
Heidi
“How many times?” Samantha squealed into the phone line.
“I don’t know. Nine. Ten. After the garage, we went back to my hotel room. Then there was the picnic the next day and again after the movie.” I didn’t tell her what he’d done to me during the movie. I’d never been one for exhibitionism, but he’d slipped his hand under my skirt sometime in the first half hour and had teased me until I’d come all over his hand, my face pressed to his chest so I wouldn’t scream.
“Wow, when you get your girl on, you go for the gold!”
I could feel my face heating as I lay on my bed in my crappy Indianapolis apartment. “It’s not just the sex,” I said, though that was pretty fantastic. “He gets my jokes.”
“Even your bad ones?”
“Especially those. And he likes that I’m smart. We think the same way about so many things. And when we don’t, he makes me think.”
“And that big Asian brain of yours does a happy dance.”
It did. A lot. Few people understood how I wanted to be challenged. My parents were about following the rules and finding security. I wanted to question the rules, and Rob made me think I could. Better yet, he held me safe and cheered when I talked about articles I wanted to write to shake up the world. He made me feel like I could do anything.
“He’s asked me to move in with him.”
“Oh my God! Are you going to do it?”
“It would solve certain problems, that’s for sure.” Things like my rent and my food bill. I happened to live in a popular apartment complex, so getting a subletter wouldn’t be a problem. But it was all the other issues that had me tightened into a knot on my bed. “I’d have to quit at the paper. He can’t be with a reporter. There’s no bending that rule.”
“Just you. Over the back of the couch.”
Yeah. We’d done that, too, and it had been amazing. “But it’s my job, Sam. And I really want to be a journalist. I’m even ready to tell my parents that.”
She took a breath, but she didn’t gasp in surprise or anything. And when she spoke, it wasn’t to question my decision at all. Which meant my big revelation hadn’t been that big a surprise. “When?”
I shuddered at the thought. “Actually, I found out there are law programs for journalists, too. I could apply to those.”
“You’re splitting hairs, and you know it. Just tell them the truth.”
“I have to decide about Rob first.”
I heard a rustle and knew that she was sitting up into her stern lecturing mode. “Number one, it’s not much of a job, is it? You’re just a stringer.”
I swallowed. “Yeah, that’s true.”
“Number two, he can’t be with a sports reporter. You never wanted that anyway. So why not just focus on some big story that you can sell to someone else? The Indy paper doesn’t want millennial stories, but there are hundreds of other publications who do.”
“None that pay well. Most of the online ones don’t pay at all.”
“But it’ll give you time to figure out what you want to write full-time. Special interest, features, hard news, whatever. And maybe you do want law journalism or whatever it’s call. But you can’t do that if you’re scrambling for food and rent. Or forced to move back in with your parents.”
We both groaned at that thought. And frankly, unless I figured out how I was going to pay my bills for the next few months, it was a real possibility.
“But what about him? What about if I decide to go to school?”
Samantha was silent for a minute. Long enough to wonder if I’d lost the connection. But then she spoke, her voice low and serious. “You’ve been following Rob’s career for years, right?”
“Yeah.”
“How long has he ever stayed with a woman?”
Damn it. Sam and I knew each other so well that I had already played out this conversation in my head. I knew what she was going to say, and she knew how I would respond. We both knew, but she pushed me into it anyway.
“Come on, Heidi. How long?”
“A few months at most.”
“Right. Now let’s think logically for a second. You had a hot night in Florida, then a great weekend in Nebraska. Is there anything in that time that would lead you to believe he’s in love?”
I swallowed. “I thought so. Maybe. Especially in his garage. There was this moment—”
“When you were humping like bunnies? That’s not love. Certainly not for a sexy celebrity like Rob.”
I went silent, hating that when I closed my eyes a single tear slipped from behind my eyes. It was just like Florida when I was thinking “wedding” after a couple hours. But every moment we were together felt right. Even when we argued, every part of me felt connected to him. Logically, there was no way I should be this emotionally entangled with a man after so little time. And yet, here I was thinking about giving up everything to move in with him.
“What if I’m in love?” I whispered.
Sam’s sigh was sympathetic. “Of course, you’re in love. You were in love after Ft. Lauderdale. You’re not the hump-like-a-bunny type.” Like I am.
Sam didn’t have to say those last words aloud. We both knew that she loved casual sex, but I’d never been like that. I couldn’t manage to get my heart to understand that sex could be a physical thing. Every man I’d ever slept with had owned my emotions long after he’d disappeared into another woman’s bedroom.
“What if I can’t make it as a journalist? I don’t want to just cook and clean for a man no matter how much sex there is.” Even if it was fantastic sex.
“There’s nothing wrong with taking a few months to really explore what you want to write. And why not play house with a hot guy while you do it? What you’re really worried about is how you’re going to put your heart back together when it’s time to say goodbye.”
That punched me in the gut hard. Was it obvious that we weren’t going to make it? That logic was right, and all my dreams of a house, kids, and Disney vacations were a lie? “You think we’re going to end in a few months.”
“Doesn’t matter what I think. Either way, do you really want to be that girl, Heidi? The one that doesn’t do anything for fear that she’ll be hurt? That gives up a great time with a great guy just because she’ll be a shattered mess when it’s all over? Is that you, Heidi?”
“You know it is.”
“So don’t quit your job. Stay in your crappy apartment and try to put together articles that you hate for a paper that pays for shit. And you know what? You’ll still be miserable. You’ll still feel shattered, but this time you won’t have the memory of a zillion screaming Os to soothe the pain.”
God, she always put things in perspective for me. Said like that, I’d be an idiot not to make the leap to living with Rob. Except, I couldn’t quite make my logical mind go there. I wanted to be in love with Rob. I was in love. That meant shared dreams and a wedding. But it was too soon to talk about that with him, and I couldn’t wrap my brain around the idea of moving in without it.
“It’s just a few months, Heidi. And I know you’re thinking about your parents, but all you have to say is that you’re moving in with a friend to save money. They don’t have to know he’s a guy. And if you’re really worried, get a PO Box for your mail. No one needs to know the truth. Except me, of course. Because I need all the details. And I do mean every sweaty, pulsating, ecstatic detail.”
I chuckled because Sam could always make me laugh. And in the back of my head, I pictured myself moving in with Rob. I didn’t even know where he lived or how I’d fit into his space. He was in the middle of his season, so his life was pretty full. What would I work on when he was at practice or away at a game? What stories would I tackle if I had all the time in the world and someone else covering my bills? The possibilities were incredibly exciting.
“What if he doesn’t love me?” I said.
“You’ll fall apart. But that’s later.” She huffed out a breath. “You’re not marrying him, Heidi. You’re just making the sex more convenient by living in the same space.”
“Okay,” I said before I could stop myself. “Okay.”
There was a moment of stunned silence on the line. Then suddenly, Sam squealed in delight. “You’re going to do it? You’re going to move in with him?”
“Isn’t that what you’ve been saying I should do?”
“Well, yeah, but I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”
I shrugged, trying to force the butterflies in my stomach to settle. “I’ve got to pack up my stuff anyway. Might as well put it in storage until I know what I’m doing with my life. And if I spend the next few months living the high life with a sports star, then why not live it in his bed?”
“Woo-hoo! You go, girl!”
We talked for another hour, made casual plans to get together in Chicago for a weekend sometime, and then finally said goodbye. Her last words to me were, “Don’t be afraid. Go for it!”
And so, high on her support, I did the most important thing on my to-do list. I called my boss and said I didn’t have a story on Rob, but I’d get him something better very soon.
Hank was nice about it, of course. He even listened to a few ideas. But in the end, he told me to turn in my press credentials. I was officially terminated from the Indianapolis Sun.
…
Rob
“Are you fucking crazy? You can’t let her move in with you.”
I stared at Nico and wondered how much trouble I’d get in if I clocked him right in the face. “Too bad. She’s moving in as soon as we can pack up her stuff.”
Nico grabbed my elbow and steered me toward his office. He’d pulled me aside after practice to verify the rumor he’d heard that Heidi was moving in. And when I said yes, he’d looked like he wanted to slap some sense into me. And that expression wasn’t changing.
“She can’t move in. She’s press.”
“She left her job, so there’s no conflict there.”
Nico rubbed a hand over his face. “Jesus, how many ways are you going to screw with this girl? You can’t have a relationship with her.”
He tried to pull me into his office, but I stood my ground. I’d agreed to play baseball for the Bobcats. I hadn’t agreed to let them control my life.
“She’s my girlfriend, and she’s moving in. End of discussion.”
“Lower your voice,” Nico said, his gaze darting around. Guys were coming out of the locker room, the batting coaches were coming in from the field, and our star pitcher was just exiting the medical room walking with the slow steps of a man who’d pulled a groin muscle. All in all, it was a full hallway, but I didn’t care. I had no intention of hiding my relationship with Heidi now that she’d left the Indianapolis Sun.
“Why?”
“Because you’re dating Brittany.”
“Like hell I am!” The words came out loud enough that the coaches looked up in curiosity, but that didn’t stop Nico from speaking in a low tone.
“We all warned you about her. We told you that she liked to pick up the hot new rookie. And she works social media like a Kardashian.”
“Yeah. I remember. Which is why I haven’t done shit with—”
A female voice cut through our conversation as a curvy brunette bounced around the corner. “There you are, Rob! I’ve been looking all over for you.”
“Gia,” I said with a tight smile. She was in charge of the team’s web presence, but her job only started with the website. She made sure to get pictures for publicity, managed the Twitter feed, and oversaw all the player’s social media presence. She was like a hall monitor for our internet footprint, and she took her job very seriously. Which is why I tried to duck her at every turn. “I’m a little busy right now.”
“I’m sure you are, but we’re going to talk anyway. But smile first.” She held up her cell phone and I reacted like a robot, popping up my goofy-Nebraska expression. I never scowled at the camera. That was the surest way to bad publicity. But if I didn’t want my picture taken, I simply did something goofy. This time I crossed my eyes. Other times I’ve scrunched up my face or stuck my tongue out to the side. Anything to quietly rebel at how Gia insisted on taking “candids” of the players.
She looked at her phone and shrugged. “I can do something with this. I’ll call it ‘Rob goes cross-eyed trying to think of some way to make Saturday’s date special.’”
A sick feeling started growing in my gut. “What date?”
“With Brittany, of course. I’ve made your reservations at Ruth’s Chris for an hour after the game. We’ve got a promotion going with them, so you’ll get a good table. Perfect for pictures. Remember to let her cheer you up if you play badly. But if you’re doing well, go ahead and let her order champagne. Just make sure you don’t have any. You’re in-season, after all.”
“I can drink and still play just fine,” I ground out wondering why I was arguing over champagne.
“Of course you can, but your image is more about beer. She’s the classy girl, you’re the Nebraska boy. Now of course, you can order whatever you like, but there are some foods that are messy in photos—”
I held up my hand to cut her off. “I’m not going anywhere with Brittany. I’ve got a girlfriend.”
She’d kept talking for a moment, but as my words sunk in, her eyes widened, and she slowly pressed her lips together. Then she finally blurted out, “You can’t have a girlfriend. I’d know about it.”
Sadly, that was true. “It’s a recent thing.”
“Well, un-recent it,” she snapped. “Brittany’s been tweeting all week about you and your date.”
I gaped at her. “I never asked her out on a date.”
“Yes, you did. You were supposed to meet after the last home game, but you were so upset about playing badly that you decided to stay after and practice. She graciously agreed to reschedule for next week, because she knows how important it is for you do well, and she’d never interfere with your training.”
I glared at the woman. “None of that’s true.”
“It’s been on her social media feed for two weeks.”
“I never look at her feed.” Hell, I didn’t even look at my feed because it was an account that Gia set up and managed. “None of this makes sense. I haven’t even thought about Brittany for weeks.”
“Weren’t you supposed to meet her after the last home game?”
“Well, yeah, but—”
“And didn’t you pick up her scarf at the White Sox game?”
“It had blown onto the field.”
“And didn’t you hit a home run right after? And play great while she stood in full view of the cameras?”
I blew out a breath. “Yeah, I did, but—”
“So the two of you are dating. And there is no other girlfriend. I cannot stress this enough, Rob. No other girlfriend. You cannot tarnish your reputation. It’d ruin you before you’ve even begun.”
I stared at her and wondered how things had gotten so crazy. “But I do have a girlfriend and she’s moving in with me. I’m not going out with Brittany and—”
“Oh my God!” Gia gasped, throwing up her hands in disgust. “You players are like little boys. We talked about this your very first day. Do you remember meeting with me and Joe DeLuce? You remember him. He’s the team owner.”
“Of course I remember—”
“And what did we talk about? I’ll tell you. Your image. You were going to be the ‘aw-shucks’ Nebraska boy, growing up on a farm and all, who got here from hard work, talent, and clean living.”
“Yes, and a girlfriend doesn’t change—”
“Of course not!” She huffed. “Since the girlfriend is Brittany!”
I folded my arms across my chest. I was willing to do about anything for this team. Playing in the majors was my dream from my earliest memories, and I was not about to screw up this opportunity. But no way would I let them control my life.
“I am not dating Brittany,” I said flatly.
Gia mimicked my stance, her arms folded across her ample chest. “Remember how Joe said that baseball was about selling tickets.”
“Yes, and the tickets sell if we win.”
“They sell even better when the image is right. When there’s a story the public likes. Then they’ll come if you win or lose.”
I winced. I remembered this conversation with Joe. I remembered thinking then that it was a crock of bull, but Joe obviously believed it. And Gia had the ticket sales to prove her point. The fans did like to build stories around their favorites. “Fine, but I’m not—”
Gia cut me off. “Brittany has built a huge wave of publicity on your date.”
“I didn’t know anything about a date!”
“Doesn’t matter. She’s built it, and you will go.”
I was about to argue when Nico abruptly pushed his phone at me. “It’s your agent,” he said, his voice loud enough to silence anything I was about to say.
“What? Why would Marc be calling on your phone?”
“Because I called him,” Nico said as he pressed the phone to my ear. I had no choice but to grab it from him.
“Marc—”
“Listen, dude, Nico got me up to speed on the situation.” Marc’s California slang bothered me, mostly because he seemed to think that’s the way I spoke. But he was one of the best agents in the business and I’d learned to trust him. Especially when he got me my spectacular deal with the Bobcats.
“There is no situation—”
“Of course not. But you know I’m on your side, right? You know I’ve been around the block a few times and I’ve got the long view here. You want a career at the Bobcats, right?”
“You know I do.”
“Right. That means you’ve got to play ball with them.”
“I am playing ball,” I retorted. “Really well.”
“And I was cheering you on every second. Loved what you did in Chicago, dude.”
“So, dude—”
“But listen,” he cut me off. “I was talking about the publicity thing. We’re building a career image here and you’re the one who wanted to do the clean-cut kid from Nebraska.”
“That was your idea.”
“Pretty sure it was yours, but either way, you’re stuck with it now.”
“Right, so I’ve got a girlfriend.”
“No, you don’t. Because you had that great camera shot of you and Brittany. She’s a gorgeous girl and you played like a dream when she was standing there.”
“I didn’t even notice her there.”
“But the camera did. The audience did. And the Twitterverse certainly did.”
“But—”
“Nico says you’ve got a girl. That she wants to move in with you.”
“I asked her.”
“Doesn’t matter. She can’t. You’ve got to hold her off until you’ve played to the paparazzi for a few dates with Brittany. She’s a one-woman publicity queen and you don’t want to turn her against you. Look, it doesn’t have to be real. Brittany knows how this is done. Go on a few dates. Let her show off some new jewelry, and then let her find someone else. You know she’ll be finished with you by next year.”
“Next year!”
“Yes, next year. This is how it’s done, Rob. You’ve got to listen to me. This other girl, is it love?”
How to answer that? It was so new and, yet, I’d been so sure when I asked her to move in. “Yes, it’s real.”
“If it’s love, she’ll wait. She’ll understand that this is your career. And if she doesn’t, then you’ll know it wasn’t meant to be. Come on, Rob, think. It’s only a few dates. A couple months until the season is over. I’ll make sure the Bobcats pay for the meals. They won’t cover any jewelry. You’ll have to take care of that yourself, but they can pay for the food.”
“No.” I wasn’t going to do that to Heidi. She’d given up her lease. Where was she supposed to live?
Marc blew out a breath loud enough that it sounded like a rumble through the phone. “You have to, Rob. Seriously. Look, I was going to call you and congratulate you on how smoothly you’ve been handling the image thing. National TV, dude. A close-up with you looking lovelorn at Brittany.”
“I wasn’t looking at her!”
“The camera made it seem like you were. And social media has started calling you two Rittany.”
“That’s a terrible name.”
“Yeah, well I didn’t make it up. Brittany knows how to work the fans and she’s damn good at it. Dating her would be just the boost to your career that will keep you as the darling of the team. That’s important in general, but right now it’s crucial. You need this boost, Rob. At least until you establish yourself in the majors.”
Holy hell, what was I going to do? Marc had warned me early that this first season was crucial for setting up my image in sports. And that the right image could take my career to the stratosphere. That’s what he’d said. Stratosphere. As long as I kept playing well, he and the team’s publicity wing would manage the rest.
“I just want to play baseball,” I groused, knowing that I sounded like a child.
“I told you when you first signed with me,” Marc said. “I warned you it wasn’t just about baseball. It was about your image. That’s how I got you such a great deal at the Bobcats. They needed a wholesome boy. If you make Brittany look bad, she can destroy your image. And that will hurt your whole career.”
“I never asked her out.”
Marc snorted. “Like that makes a difference. The media already has you two in bed together.”
“Hell, no!”
“Take it easy. I’m not suggesting you do that. I’m just saying you go out on a few dates. Let the Bobcats pay for your steaks and champagne. What happens after the meal is your business.”
And what the hell did I say to Heidi? How could I explain this to her? After I’d begged her to move in with me. After I’d claimed it would solve all our problems?
“This isn’t right,” I said.
“It’s show business.”
“You mean baseball.”
“Same thing.”
We talked for a few moments longer. Argued, really, but he’d already won. As much as I hated everything about this, I knew that all three of them had a point. I hadn’t just been hired to play baseball. I’d been hired to fit into an image, which was being molded by experts to make me into a media darling. Before Heidi, I hadn’t had a problem with that. But now I felt like the biggest shit on the planet. And I hadn’t even told her yet.
Then I spotted Jake coming in from the field. He was our shortstop and last year’s surprise call-up. The man had great hands and a silver-tongue known for flirting with every female interviewer and fan. He didn’t have the blond hair and blue eyes that I did, and his heritage was Mexican rather than Caucasian golden boy, but his square jaw and short hair gave him a rugged quality that girls seemed to go for. Plus he had been a firefighter before joining the Bobcats, so he had that hero thing going for him.
And even better, he owed me a favor.