Reese

 

Cam’s eyes were wide with shock as he froze in the doorway of my dad’s office.

“Reese, what are you doing here?”

I glared at both of them, unsure of who I was more angry with. After what I’d just heard I was ready to march right into his office and rip both of them a new one.

“I came down here to try and convince my dad to be lenient with you,” I said through clenched teeth. “But I see this was a wasted trip because I don’t care if he is or not anymore.”

My dad twirled a pen around in his fingers, seeming nervous. Good. He should be.

“You heard us?” Cam asked, apprehension clear in his voice.

I shifted my attention to him. “I heard enough. Don’t worry. I’ll deal with you after I’m through with him.”

He swallowed thickly. “Everything you heard… I can explain all of it.”

My impatience with the entire male population was wearing thin. “We’ll discuss it after I’m finished with my father.”

“Okay.” He peeked over his shoulder at my dad before turning back to me. “I guess I’ll just wait outside?”

I focused back on my dad but addressed Cam. “Oh, you can stay in here. This won’t take long. You should probably hear some of it, anyway.”

I approached my once estranged father, a man I used to hero-worship with all my heart. Some of that hero-worship had returned since I’d taken this job. But he didn’t deserve to hear that right now.

“You warned all the guys on the team to stay away from me? You threatened them if any of them came near me? Are you serious?”

He slowly nodded. “I did.”

At least he wasn’t trying to deny it. “Why? And if you give me that crap about protecting me from the dangers of college boys, I’ll walk right out of this room.”

He opened and closed his mouth a few times before coming up with a response. “All right. I did it because I didn’t want any of them screwing up this position for you.”

“What does that mean?”

His jaw tightened. “It was hard enough convincing you to work alongside me in the first place. I didn’t want you to get involved with any of the guys because if it didn’t end well, you might not have wanted to stay. And I wanted you to stay, Reese. This was my chance to get to know my daughter again, and I wasn’t going to waste it.”

“That doesn’t mean you get to interfere in my life,” I snapped, stomping over to his desk. “You already did that by getting me this job in the first place. I told you how I felt about it, and you promised you wouldn’t do it again. If I started seeing any of the guys, that would have been my choice. And if it didn’t go well, that would have been on me. But I would never have been so unprofessional to have quit over something like that.”

“I wasn’t trying to meddle in your life,” he said, sounding miserable. “I was just trying to get you back and keep you here.”

“And why did you have to get me back, huh? Why were we not part of each other’s lives for so long?”

He groaned, scrubbing his hands down his face. “Are we back to that again? How many times do I have to apologize?”

I laughed mirthlessly. “See, that’s the thing. You never did apologize. Not even once, and that’s all it would have taken.”

He looked up at me, shell-shocked. “I apologized.”

I shook my head sadly. “No, you didn’t. Not to me, anyway. Not for ignoring me when you had me on weekends. Not for missing my high school graduation because you were on a scouting trip. And not for failing to call me on my birthday two years in a row. You’ve never once acknowledged how you’ve hurt me over the years. You just push it aside and act like everything’s fine.”

“I didn’t realize—” He shook his head as if trying to clear it. “You know I have a busy job. It’s always been like this.”

“No, it wasn’t always like this,” I argued, an unbearable ache settling in my chest. “Not when I was a kid and I actually had my father around to play with and teach me things and help me with my homework. All of that changed once you started taking on bigger coaching jobs. And I’m not blaming you for striving for more because I know coaching at NCU was always your dream. But you went on to bigger and better things and left your family behind.”

I felt tears gather but I forced them back. I couldn’t make my point if I got all emotional.

“That’s why you and mom split up, and that’s why after so many years I just gave up trying. Why should I spend my time with someone who clearly doesn’t want to see me?”

His expression was full of hurt. “That’s not true. You’re my daughter and I love you.”

That didn’t help my watering eyes.

“You’ve done a poor job of showing it these last several years. So, you have to understand how upsetting it is to hear that the man who’s chosen not to be a part of my life since I was fourteen years old, suddenly thinks that now he has the right to control it.”

“I would never try to control you,” he said, pleading. “But this was my way of rectifying everything. Getting you here was my attempt at mending the fences between us.”

“Which was why I agreed to take the job. I was willing to give you a second chance. Something I’m now thinking was a mistake.”

He stood up, his voice desperate. “Don’t say that. Things have been better between us, haven’t they?”

“Until today,” I said flatly. “You just don’t get it. You’ve tried to brush everything under the rug and act as if it never happened, rather than having the courage to confront me and admit your faults so we could move past it. I had boyfriends throughout high school, you know. And a couple in college, yet you never cared about any of them. So, don’t pretend to be the overprotective father here, sitting on the porch with your shotgun. I don’t care if you’re his coach. You have absolutely no say in who I date.”

He lowered his head, putting his hands on his hips. “What can I do to make it up to you?”

“You can go back to doing what you’ve always done. Staying out of my life.”

I spun around and found Cam standing in the corner of the room, hands in his pockets. There was guilt all over his face. A new kind of tension formed in my shoulders.

“And you.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “Look, Reese. What you heard—”

I cut him off. “That’s the reason why you told me nothing could happen between us? Why you were such a jerk in the beginning? Because you were afraid of being benched?”

He put his hands up in surrender. “Hey, being afraid of getting benched had nothing to do with it. There were other reasons for not pursuing you in the beginning, but none of them was because I was too much of a coward to go after you.”

“So, then this whole thing was just about wanting what you couldn’t have? Did that make it more exciting for you or something?”

I tried to keep the sarcasm at bay, but it was a lost cause. I was just fed up with domineering men in my life who thought it was more effective to solve their problems by stomping around, grunting and groaning like cavemen, and clubbing each other over the heads when something didn’t go their way.

Oh, and keeping things from me. I hated being lied to.

He sucked in a breath. “No. It wasn’t anything like that. Yes, your dad’s threat had something to do with it in the beginning, but it’s not as bad as you think. I didn’t want to screw with the team’s dynamic because I allowed myself to be led around by my dick.” He must have seen something on my face because he winced. “That didn’t come out right. I—”

“No, you’re right,” I interrupted. “You were being led around by your dick. Clearly, that’s all this was. I mean, it took a fight for people to actually find out about us. It didn’t matter to you before that happened if anyone ever knew. I should have known this would happen.”

“There’s more than that between us,” he said forcefully. “You know that.”

“Do I?” His nostrils flared. “Because all I can recall is a bullshit excuse about not wanting the press to get wind of anything and a whole bunch of other lies. That doesn’t exactly paint the picture of a great relationship to me.”

“I didn’t lie to you,” he said in a low voice.

“You lied to me by not telling me the truth. You know how important honesty is to me, Cam. I’d rather you crush my feelings than lie to me. And this was hanging over our heads for months. You had a million opportunities to tell me and come clean. Instead, you chose to keep your secrets.”

“But I didn’t lie about anything else,” he blurted, almost in panic. “Everything else that happened between us was real. That was all truth.”

I ignored the nagging voice inside my head that told me to believe him.

“I’m not sure of anything right now,” I said with finality. “All I know is that I need time away…from both of you.”

He reached for my arm as I turned away. “Please, Reese. Don’t do this. Don’t walk away from me.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing the need to leap into his arms to disappear.

“I need space, Cam,” I said solemnly. “You have to give me that.”

His grip on my arm tightened. “I don’t know if I can.”

I looked back at him, my heart breaking at the hurt on his face. “You don’t have a choice.”

He let go and I slammed the door behind me when I left.

 

***

Cam

I stood there staring at the door Reese had just stomped out of.

She left me.

I felt like the top layer of my skin had been peeled off, leaving me raw and exposed. God, was my heart even still inside my chest?

How could she think we weren’t real? After all the nights we’d spent together talking, telling each other everything? After the night of the party? I thought we’d made this otherworldly connection this weekend. I thought after the Trey incident there would be nothing that could tear us apart.

I’d been wrong.

And it was my own stupid, asshole fault.

I should have told her.

“You have feelings for her then?” Coach asked in a quiet voice. “I mean, this isn’t a temporary, fleeting thing between you?”

I didn’t turn around to look at him. I couldn’t take my eyes off that damn door.

“I’m in love with her.”

Holy shit, I was.

I was in love with Reese.

That was the first time I’d ever admitted it to myself.

“I only want what’s best for her,” I added. “And what’s best for her is exactly what I’m trying to be. I want to make her happy.”

And that’s exactly what I’d do. Somehow, I’d figure out a way to get her back.

Because we weren’t done yet. Not by a long shot.

I had to tell her all about my revelation. She had to know that I loved her.

And by God, I’d find a way to do it.