I lie awake in bed, my eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling. For the life of me, I can’t shake the memory of Knox’s last kiss. I hear a whimper leave my throat and run the pad of my index finger across my lips. They’re still a little swollen. Raw, like the ache that continues to grow in my chest.

He wanted me and I turned him down. I should feel bad but saying no to Knox tonight gave me back a bit of my power. But God, how I wanted to say yes.

Just the thought of giving in to temptation causes my core to clench, and I have to drag my thighs closed to ease the throbbing at my clit. Then our time in that cramped closet comes flooding back again. His strong wandering hands, his heated mouth at my puckered nipples, his cock filling me to completion, almost stretching my walls beyond their limits. And that soreness between my legs that lasted for days after that night.

No wonder I bolted.

If I had stayed, we never would’ve gotten back to dinner with our family, and my parents would not let me live it down. They’re already rooting for us to get together. No matter what, we can’t have anyone find out what we did, or what I fear we might do again if we’re anywhere in the vicinity of each other again. For that reason, I need to stay the hell away from the Hamptons and the Steele family for the Independence Day long weekend.

I roll onto my side and glance at the bedroom window. My curtains are usually drawn at night, but I was so distracted when I got home tonight that they’re wide open, letting in the faint haze of a flickering streetlight. I catch sight of my alarm clock and notice the time. It’s two in the morning. I need to shut off my mind and get some sleep, but that won’t happen until I get a few things off my chest. There’s only one person in the world who can relate to what I’m going through.

Unplugging my phone from the bedside charger, I scroll through my contact list until I make it down to my ‘P’ contacts, and hit the call button for my sister, Bethany. It’s barely midnight out west. She’s sure to still be up.

I pace the apartment while I wait for her to answer, wishing desperately that she’ll pick up. I need some of her unfiltered down-to-earth energy to mellow me out. Nothing ever fazes Bethany. She’ll probably laugh when I lay it all out for her, and she’s sure to tell me to live a little.

“Isa?” she answers in her lazy drawl. “How are you up so late, little sis?”

“Beth, oh my God, remind me why you’re several states away again? I need you here so bad, sis.”

“What’s going on? Are Mom and Dad giving you hell?”

“Not exactly, but it’s a nightmare all the same. Gosh, where to I start? Okay…I bumped into someone a week ago, and I—”

“Stop right there,” she says firmly. “Do not tell me you saw him. Is this about that lowlife bastard, Knox?” I open my mouth to answer but I hear her swear through the phone. “Please say that you saw him and told him to fuck off and go to hell. Isa?”

“Well, I…I was angry at first, but we were at an engagement party. I think it was all that champagne, and all those cocktails, and the whiskey later on.”

“Oh no, no, no, no. You drank with him?”

“That, and a whole lot more,” I confess.

“What the hell? You forgave him, didn’t you? I can’t believe you let that sorry excuse for a friend off the hook.”

“We had sex.”

The other end of the phone goes dead silent for a long stretch of time.

“Beth?” I call. “Are you still there?”

“Girl, you’ve gotta be shitting me,” she practically screeches through the phone. “You let him fuck you after he ditched your ass for ten goddamned years?”

“Okay, take a breath,” I tell her. “It’s not what it sounds like.”

“Like hell it ain’t. You’re calling me in the middle of the night, wanting my advice on this arrogant, cocky, spoiled son of a bitch, because you spread your legs for him after what, one chance meeting?”

“Well Mom, Dad and I had dinner with him and his grandfather earlier tonight too.”

“Hold on. Wait a minute. Mom and Dad are in on this too?”

“No no, it wasn’t planned. Although, she did text me his number. We bumped into them at dinner, and you know how Dad is with his big campaign donors.”

“Oh my gawdddddd,” she says, dragging out the last word. “You see why I got the hell outta Dodge when the time came? There’s only two modes in New York City. Fast, and crazy. And you, little sis, are on the crazy train.”

“Are you going to continue to criticize me, or will you be my big sister for five seconds and just lend an ear?”

She takes a loud, long breath that makes me feel she’s a lot closer than two thousand miles away. “All right, all right. I’ll hear you out. But don’t expect me to like the guy. You keep insisting that the two of you were just best friends, but I could tell there was a heck of a lot more between you, even if you never acted on it until now. He might’ve seen you as a friend, but you? Girl, you fell so hard for that guy that there was nothing left for you to land on.”

My heart freezes in my chest and I have to swallow a few times just to open up the tightness in my throat.

“I was never in love with him,” I shoot back and hear the defensiveness in my voice. “We were just friends. We were always just friends…until now.”

“Oh yeah, sure. That’s why you cried yourself to sleep for ages after he left and forgot all about you… Look, sis. I’m sorry. I was never very good at being a nice, supportive sister. I’m gonna shut up now, and just listen to whatever you have to say.”

Of course, now I don’t know what to say anymore. She’s already judged me, Knox, and our actions. I can’t ask her for advice on what to do. She won’t understand.

“So, you saw him?” she asks after silence from my side.

“I did.”

“Are you together now?”

“No, of course not. I’m just…I don’t know what to do. I see him everywhere I go now. And the attraction between us, it’s nothing like when we were friends, yet that bond is still so strong.”

“Oh.”

“And I have all these feelings that were never there before.”

“I see.”

“He kissed me tonight. There’s something going on with him. He’ll open up to me eventually, and I want to be there for him like before… but…”

“But what?”

“He’s so going to hurt me again. I can feel it already. Like my heart is breaking now because it knows what’s coming.”

“Hmmm.”

I know my sister isn’t being authentic. She’s holding her tongue. But even in her act, letting out my fears, hearing them out loud, it’s helping me.

“You know what?” she asks, breaking the silence.

“What?”

“Take it a day at a time. For all you know, this is exactly what the two of you needed.”

“What?”

“You’re my sister and I love you. Go ahead. Get laid. Fall for him. Hear his hopes and dreams. Maybe this time, with sex in the equation, maybe this can work.”

“Wait, what? How can you go from he’s a sorry ass son of a bitch to wishing me luck with him?”

“Easy peasy, my darling. All I’m saying is try to live a little. If he breaks your heart, so what? Broken hearts heal…eventually. And I promise I won’t say I told you so if it doesn’t work out. I swear to God. I might fly back to kick his ass if that happens, but I won’t say I told you so. How’s that?”

I flop down onto the bed. Bethany is no help. Not one bit. I need to work this out on my own. Not even Knox can give me all the answers. In a way, Bethany is right. I’m going to take a chance and live for a change.

“Thanks, Beth. You’ve been a big help.”

She lets out a laugh. “Liar.”

“No, really. I’ll take it day by day. Bottom line is I’m glad he’s back. So, I may make a few more mistakes, but I’m sure to enjoy at least some of it. It’s better than what I had going on before.”

“True.”

“Tell me about Colorado,” I say, moving on to her life.

“Get your butt out here for a visit and you’ll see for yourself.”

“I will, one day.”

“Sure, all right then,” she groans. Mom has been out to see her once. Dad and I are yet to pay her a visit.

“I will. I promise. You’ll see.”

“Okay Isa. Thanks for calling. Love you.”

“Love you too, big sis. Thanks for listening.”

Once I hang up the phone, I pull the covers over me and close my eyes.

If I see Knox again, there’ll be more yes responses than no’s. The sky’s the limit.