“What the hell are you doing here, kid?” Jake shouted from the opposite side of the ridge overlooking Compass Ranch. The kickass cowboy galloped over fast enough to give those prissy thoroughbreds in the Kentucky Derby a run for their money, making Austin Compton nearly drop dead of a heart attack.

Damn it! There was no hiding now. He’d been busted. Big time.

“Uh. Would you believe I’m working on some kind of independent study about ranching?” Austin scuffed his boot in the dirt outside the tent he’d been squatting in for nearly a week.

“For a fancy technology something-or-other major? Don’t give me no bullshit.” Jake swung his leg over his enormous draft horse and dropped to the ground. He was awfully spry for a man who’d turned sixty-five last year and had labored hard on the ranch for more than four decades. Hell, the guy had originally worked for Austin’s grandfather, the infamous JD Compton. Though Austin had never met his true blood ancestor, who’d died of cancer before he’d been born, Jake had been a fixture in his life. As much a part of his home as this place and the rest of the family who lived here.

God, he’d missed them so much.

Would they be even a little happy to see him? Or would his colossal failure make him less worthy of a place here with them? The sickness swirling through his gut made it impossible to speak. He clutched his middle.

Jake didn’t relent. “Well? A line as lame as that ain’t gonna fly with me and it certainly isn’t going to fool your dads. So you might as well use this as a test run and fill me in before you have to face them. Maybe I can help you out of whatever mess you’ve gotten yourself into this time.”

Austin groaned and dropped to the ground. He tried to make it seem like he’d flopped there on purpose instead of at the mercy of his wobbly knees. Dread over this exact scenario had kept him at college for two years despite the fact he’d known he wasn’t cut out for academia by the time he’d finished moving into the dorm and realized there was nowhere to hang his cowboy hat. He couldn’t even open the windows of his shoebox room on the twelfth floor of the damn building.

How could someone live without fresh air?

“I couldn’t do it. I’m a fucking quitter,” he blurted. “I dropped out.”

“Of school?” Jake took his hat off and slapped it against his palm, launching a cloud of dust into the air.

Austin nodded.

“Oh boy.” Jake sank into a squat beside him, studying the earth beneath their boots.

“Exactly.” He hung his head, crushing his skull between his hands. What was he going to do now?

“Were your grades shit?”

“Nah. I had one C. Mostly B’s and a few A’s.”

“Then what’s the problem, kid?”

“I didn’t belong there. My roommate came back from class one day shouting that we were almost halfway to finishing our degrees. He was dancing on top of his crappy desk, knocking more shit on the floor, and planning on getting shit-faced to celebrate. Meanwhile, I felt sick. There was absolutely no way I could hang in that long. Every minute I spent there was torture. And for what? A career I’d hate just as much?” Austin ripped a weed out of the ground as he took in the landscape before him.

He forced himself to take a deep breath. Then another.

From the crest overlooking his family’s ranchland, he studied the cows dotting the pastures below. In the distance, the farmhouse, barns, and the row of cottages his sisters lived in were barely visible. Snow-capped mountains spiked into the air around them. A wide river snaked through the long grass.

He held the crisp Wyoming air in his lungs, then slowly began to relax.

It was familiar. Home. Perfect.

Jake nodded. “I never did get how your Uncle Sam survived in New York City so long before coming back home. I sure couldn’t live like that.”

“There were people everywhere, one on top of another. Everyone rushed around all the time and weren’t connected to the things surrounding them. The other students could hardly understand my accent and…well, it just wasn’t me.” Austin sighed.

“Maybe Phoenix wasn’t the right choice. Since you didn’t flunk, you could transfer someplace local.”

Austin shook his head. “Nah. I realized I’m too much like the stubborn stallions we get sometimes. Or…maybe my father.”

“No shit.” Jake chuckled at that. “You’ve always been just like Silas.”

“I need space and freedom. Independence. I don’t think I can cut it working for someone else. Somehow, I have to do my own thing. Be my own boss or something. Have some sort of control over my own damn life.”

“Independence is overrated. Finding your rightful place in the Compass clan, that makes sense to me, though.” Jake looked at Austin then. His piercing gaze made it clear this was one of those rare times when he was being dead serious. “There’s strength in being part of something like this. A reason I stayed all these years. Throwing it away for something you’re not completely committed to would be foolish.”

Yes. That’s exactly how he felt. “Worst of all, I took this girl on a few dates and sort of thought it could get serious, but the only things she cared about were my major and the kinds of jobs I’d get and what neighborhood I wanted to live in.”

“Neighborhood? Wouldn’t she want her own land? Room to spread out?”

Austin smiled wryly. “Starting to feel like I haven’t gone crazy after all. That’s what I wondered, too. But apparently not. And when I proposed bringing her back home with me, she flat out laughed in my face. Like I couldn’t possibly be serious. That’s when I realized I had nothing in common with her and nearly everyone I met. None of the important stuff. She got all fired up about buying a condo and how great it would be not to have a yard to take care of and how she’d save money living on the middle floor, sandwiched between strangers, and soaking up her neighbor’s heat in the winter. She even wanted a miniature designer dog she could put in a metal cage during the day with nowhere to roam. I felt like that animal, except I’m more of a mutt. Just as trapped, though. I wasn’t made to be someone’s pet.”

“Nope. Nope. Nope. I understand your point, kid.” Jake grimaced. “If you felt this way from the start, why didn’t you tell anyone? No one’s going to force you to do something that makes you miserable just for a piece of paper.”

“My parents. They threw me that huge party when I got accepted and my dad—Colby—wrote me a long letter about how proud I’d made him. My sister, Clayton, and Wyatt sent me care packages and encouragement around midterms and finals, telling me how well they knew I’d do. They didn’t intend to pressure me, I know. Still, when the people you care most about think what you’re doing is so wonderful and important but you disagree, it’s like standing in the path of a charging herd. Go with them or get trampled.” He gritted his teeth. “I didn’t want—no, don’t want—to let them down. But I have. I just couldn’t do it anymore. To make it worse, I wasted two damn years of my life.”

“You’re, what, nineteen now?”

Austin nodded. Almost twenty and starting over. He’d lost too much time chasing someone else’s dream.

“I’d kill to be young again.” Jake flexed his hands, which seemed more gnarled than ever. His bones cracked and popped as he squeezed his fingers into fists. “Plenty of time to try a couple things and figure out what you’re good at and what makes you happy. Hopefully you’ll find something that’s a bit of both. I’ve had my own share of failures. Most I made worse by clinging onto a lame horse too long, but at least I know I tried my damnedest to succeed. You’ll have that peace of mind. You gave the college thing your best effort. It’s important, you know, having no doubts about that. Especially now that I realize exactly how long the rest of your life is. It’s terrible to wonder if you could have done just a tiny bit more when it counted.”

“Are you talking about Viho’s mom?” Austin peered at Jake from the corner of his eye. The cowboy was Austin’s cousin Sterling’s husband’s dad, though none of them—Jake included—had known he had a son for far too long. Now that would suck. Missing out on seeing your kid grow up, not having a chance to provide for them like any honorable man at Compass Ranch would do. Losing the love of your life.

Jake hummed softly, “I sure would like a do-over with Haiwee. Even if it ended the same way, I’d be sure to enjoy my mistakes more. How we fill our days is rarely a waste. You must have gotten something out of your time away from here, right?”

“The parties were fun, for a while.” Austin shrugged. “There were more girls around there, too.”

“Uh huh. I’m starting to see why you took some time making your mind up.” The old man rocked his shoulder into Austin’s.

“I’m not going to lie, that was part of it. But it got old pretty quick. Mostly I’m worried about my parents. I don’t want to be the loser in a family of overachievers. Shit!” He picked up a stone then threw it over the edge of the ridge. That’s how he felt, plummeting toward the hard-packed ground.

Collision inevitable.

“Trust me, after they think on it for a few minutes, your mom, dad, and father are going to say the same things I am. I’ll bet you a month of cleaning stalls they’ll be more pissed about you hiding it from them than your decision to leave.” Jake smacked him on the back of the head. “How long did you think you could stay out here, anyway?”

“Only a couple days more. I’m running low on my mac and cheese stash,” Austin admitted.

“Desperate times, kid.” Jake laughed at that. “Look, I realize everyone in this whole damn town talks about your papaw JD like he was a saint. I respected him. He was a great boss and an even better friend to me, so don’t take this the wrong way.”

Austin angled his hat toward the sun so he could peer directly at Jake for the first time. The deep grooves etched into his cheeks and forehead had grown surprisingly more evident since last he’d seen the guy. His hair had transitioned from salt and pepper to snow white at some point when Austin wasn’t paying attention. What he said next was even more surprising, though.

“I’m telling you that as incredible as JD was, he wasn’t perfect. Nobody is. There were plenty of times he tried something that didn’t pan out and other times when we weren’t sure if the ranch would make it through a bad season. Droughts, blights, hard winters…I’ve seen it all on this ranch. What made him great—and same for your father when he took over after his dad—was that he was never quite satisfied. He never stopped looking for a way to make things better. He lifted the people around him up when they were struggling, and made himself pretty damn happy in the process, even if it wasn’t in the way he’d originally imagined. I think you’re a Compton through and through, kid. You’ll figure this out and make it work for you.”

“You really think so?” Austin did find that hard to believe. Was Jake just trying to cheer him up?

If so, it was kind of working.

“Yup. Go talk to your parents. Tell them how you really feel. Then get out there and try something else. You’re sure as shit not going to do much sitting up here, hiding. My advice, though…at least put a shirt on so they can’t see you’ve gotten a fistful of new tattoos since Christmas.” Jake grumbled as he plopped his hat back on his head. “How many of those damn things do you need, anyway?”

“More than I have.” Austin grinned as Jake shook his head. “It’s not like my parents can say much about that. My father’s back piece is epic, like all my uncles’. I’m saving that spot for something really important. Hey, maybe I’ll get a portrait of you.”

“You little shit, don’t you fucking dare.” The pure horror on Jake’s face made Austin pretty damn sure he would have to consider it seriously.

For the first time in forever, he cracked up. He wiped the corners of his eyes, telling himself the moisture on the side of his hand was only because of his laughing fit.

“It’s going to be okay. I promise. I know how much you look up to your folks, kid.”

“I do. To you too, Jake.” Austin got to his feet then. Jake was right about one thing. Putting it off wasn’t helping ease his anxiety. It would be a relief to get this over with and maybe start to move on from this disaster.

In standard cowboy fashion, Jake simply tipped his hat at the compliment.

“Hey, Jake?” Austin asked.

“Yeah?”

“Will you come with me? To tell my parents, I mean.”

“Of course, kid.” Jake slapped Austin on the shoulder. “Pack this shit up and let’s go home.”

“You’re going to ride back then come out with a truck to get me and all this junk, right?” It was hot as hell out here despite the early hour. Every minute that passed would get worse.

“Nah, your ass can walk for being a coward. Next time, own your shit and come clean as soon as you realize there’s a problem. It’s always easier that way. Hustle, too. Since you’re here, you might as well help with the chores.”

“Yes, sir.” Austin spun on his heel and got to work tearing down his campsite. At least he could be useful. Maybe Jake knew he needed that right now.