Chapter Three
Caleb sat in the dining room, waiting for Faith to arrive. He couldn’t look away from the door, and he was curious as to what she would wear. Not for the first time in the past few weeks did he wonder about her.
His thoughts when it came to this girl were starting to drive him crazy. Not only that, he’d seen Beast and Hope’s relationship flourish. Faith wasn’t like other women he’d met. She didn’t throw herself at him, even though he’d seen the interest in her eyes.
She wasn’t a virgin, but from what he’d learned from her own lips, she may as well have been. The guy didn’t know what he was doing, and she’d only done it out of fear her father would make her do something later on.
Rubbing at his temple, he sat back in his chair and wondered what the fuck he was doing. He was a grown-ass man, and shouldn’t be sitting with an eighteen-year-old girl at dinner. There were plenty of women out there. Women who would suck him off and not blink if he walked away without touching them.
There were women whose fathers were still alive, and hadn’t been killed by his own hands.
Even as he thought all of this, there wasn’t any place he’d rather be than at home with her. Then of course, Faith rounded the corner and stood in the doorway of the dining room, and there was no chance he was leaving.
The clothes Anne had bought for her fit perfectly, and now he was able to look at her without thinking of a sack of potatoes.
“Anne said you hated shopping.”
“It’s really not my thing.” She stepped into the room, hesitant at first. He expected her to sit far away from him, but she didn’t. She took the seat right next to him. “Did you have a good day?”
“Yes.”
He expected more of an interrogation, but in fact, he got nothing. Anne brought their food out, and he didn’t understand the smile on her lips. It was just food, and yet she looked mightily smug about something. “Enjoy your meal.”
“You’re not going to join us?” Faith asked.
“No. I already ate. But you two enjoy.”
Caleb didn’t like the look on his cook’s face. Anne was up to something, and he didn’t get it.
Picking up his knife and fork, he glanced over at Faith to see her doing the same. Together, they began to eat, and he didn’t like the awkward silence.
“Can I ask you a question?” Faith said, speaking up first.
“Sure.”
“I was wondering … if I might be able to buy some books? There are a lot of e-books out there that I’d really like to read, and well, I don’t have an account or anything.”
“I will get you an e-reader, and we can set you up an account then.”
“Thank you.”
They ate once again in silence. He couldn’t take it anymore.
“Are you happy here?” he asked.
“What?”
“Would you like me to find you an apartment or something like that?”
“No. I like it here, and there’s no one or anything for me to go back to. Do you want me to leave?”
“No, I don’t. It was the wrong thing to say. I want you here, Faith.” He reached out, touching her hand, and she stared down at it.
Just like that, he ruined dinner.
Faith excused herself, taking her plate into the kitchen and then heading outside.
“Well, what happened here?” Anne asked, coming to take the seat that Faith had been sitting in.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“I know you, Caleb. Women and you have always gotten on well.”
“She’s eighteen.”
“I’ve had a great many adult conversations with that woman. Eighteen or not, she knows her own mind. Sure, she’s quiet a lot of the time, and it takes her a while to warm up to you, but her heart is there. She’s a good woman, Caleb.”
“Her father gave her to me for a debt, Anne. What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to stop feeling guilty about wanting someone younger than you. Stop trying to push her away, because Faith could be the one person to understand you. Now, go and talk to her.”
“We’ve got nothing to talk about.”
“Ugh, you men are stubborn, and it’s going to drive me into an early grave.”
“Early? Last I checked you were nearly sixty.”
“And to a lot of people that’s still young. Don’t back talk me, Caleb Carson. I used to change your diapers, and your hard-ass approach is not going to work on me.”
He rolled his eyes. He couldn’t help it. No matter what he or Beast did, Anne had their back. Of course, she’d seen the evil within their middle brother, and would do everything she could to help him, but there really was no helping him. That’s why he was dead now, and Beast was raising Dwayne, the evil brother’s son.
It was one of the many reasons he didn’t trust Dwayne. He didn’t come from a good man, and there was nothing to suggest that he wouldn’t turn out the same as his father.
“Go and talk to her.”
“You know it’s not going to work.”
“Have you ever thought she’s as lonely as you are?”
“I’m not lonely.”
“Screwing whores does not make you happy or fulfilled. It gives you satisfaction for as long as that feeling lasts, which I’m guessing is not that long.”
“Your mouth always surprises me.”
“I had to help some Carson boys. I had to learn not to be a prude, especially when I found porn underneath your beds at such a young age. Now, be a good boy and go talk to her.”
She took his plate and offered him a smile.
Anne was the closest thing he’d ever really had to a mother.
He did as she asked, and made his way outside. Once again, he found Faith at the rose bushes, her fingers brushing against the softness of the petals.
“I’m not used to having company,” he said.
She offered him a smile. “I’m not either. For the most part, Dad said kids were to be seen but not heard. He didn’t really like to see me all that often either.”
“I killed him,” he said, blurting out the words before he could even stop himself.
“I figured you had.”
“A man that was willing to put his daughter in danger was not a man I wanted out on the streets for you. He could have brought a lot more complications.”
She simply nodded.
“You’ve not got anything to say to me.”
“Nope.”
“I admitted to killing your father.”
“He wasn’t really a dad to me, Caleb. He spent most of his time elsewhere. I’ve been on my own for so long that I forgot what it meant to have a parent or anything like that.”
“Is that why you didn’t return to school?”
“Schools are full of people with parents and problems. I had a father with a reputation who was addicted to gambling. No matter where we went people seemed to know who I was related to. I simply stopped going to school to avoid the inevitable problems that would come.”
“I know a woman that could help you,” he said, thinking about Hope.
“What do you mean?”
“She tutors. If you’d like, I could ask her to come over here, and she can help you with your studies, bring you up to date. I’ll even arrange for the high school to let you take your last exam if you don’t want to go to classes.”
“You’d do that for me?” she asked.
“Only if you want to. I’m not going to pressure you or anything.”
“I’d love to do that.”
“Okay. It may take some time. The woman I’m referring to belongs to my brother. He’s a little possessive.”
“I don’t mind waiting. I’ve waited all this time, so what’s a few months more?”
He smiled.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to leave?” she asked.
He didn’t like the little pang of guilt and regret that rushed through him. “No, I don’t want you to leave. The roses would miss you, and so would Anne.”
“I do like Anne, even though she loves shopping way too much.”
“She means well.”
Once again, he was watching her with nothing to discuss. He didn’t like this. Normally he was happy to just walk away. When it came to Faith, he liked looking at her, watching her.
She was different from the women he was around. The scar didn’t detract from her beauty, and in fact, to him, it made her shine brighter than anyone else.
Faith was one of the many reasons he loved coming home.
****
The weeks went by, and one of Faith’s favorite times of the day was sitting down to eat with Caleb. Of course, there were long silences, but then there would be a spark that struck a chord with each of them, and they could talk. He’d started to leave a magazine around or a newspaper, and it helped for them to find something to talk about.
She enjoyed their silences just as much as the conversations. Both were amazingly fun. He couldn’t stand the silence though, and it always made her smile thinking about it.
After living in places where the walls were super thin, she appreciated peace and quiet. Not only that, being with Caleb, she felt safe, which, considering who he was supposed to be, was crazy.
He wasn’t a good man, and yet he’d done nothing but show her kindness.
Before long, she’d been with him nearly four months, and one day she was sitting in the library, reading one of the many books when he brought in a beautiful woman, who couldn’t have been much older than herself.
“Faith, this is Hope. She’s my brother’s wife.”
Hope positively glowed, and when Faith looked at her, she saw that she was pregnant.
“Caleb said you needed help with studying, and I do that well.”
Closing the book on her lap, Faith climbed off her seat and moved toward them. “Thank you,” she said, looking at Caleb.
“Enjoy studying. I’ve got things to do.” He left them both alone, and Hope sighed.
“Beast is always doing that. They’re busy men.”
“I think I make Caleb uncomfortable,” Faith said.
Hope chuckled. “I find that hard to believe.”
Faith shrugged. “You’re a Carson?”
“Yep.”
“Beast is a lot older, right?”
Hope shrugged. “I don’t care. I love him, and he’s amazing, and I shouldn’t be babbling right about now. I need to focus on helping you study. Caleb told me that you’ve been out of school for a while, and to help me find where you’re missing things, I’ve printed out a couple of tests. I can see where we need to start off.”
Faith stared down at the test, and Hope placed a pencil in front of her, taking a seat. She held open a study book and started to read.
Faith saw no point in arguing as she really did want to finish high school. Being a dropout hadn’t been in her plans until she got her scar. Tucking some hair behind her ear, she sat down and started to read the test.
Every now and then she found herself glancing at Hope.
She couldn’t recall a time she’d seen another woman so happy, and she was married to Beast, one of the most feared men in their world.
Pushing all of those negative thoughts aside, Faith focused on the test and began to work her way through it. After answering only a few questions, she felt that rush she used to love about being in school. She loved learning new things, and she had missed it so much.
She found herself glancing over at Hope, who was working on a couple of assignments. On her finger was a wedding band, and it made Faith curious.
“Do you love your husband?” Faith asked.
Hope smiled. “It’s a test. I really shouldn’t be talking to you, but when it comes to Beast, I can’t seem to stop myself.”
“You love him?”
“More than anything in the world. I lost my mom a couple of years ago, and I was living with my aunt, and out of nowhere, Beast helped me. He had his reasons, but one thing led to another, and before I knew what was happening, I fell in love.”
Faith nibbled her lip, seeing the sparkle within Hope’s eyes. She was clearly happy. There wasn’t a time Faith could ever recall really being truly happy like that. She’d been constantly moving, fearing the knock at the door, wondering if her dad would ever come home.
“How are things with you and Caleb?”
“I don’t really know. We eat dinner together. He’s always out for breakfast.”
“You’re not together, together?”
“Not at all. He kind of got dumped with me.”
“Hmm.”
Faith stared at her. “What’s the hmm about?”
“Nah, just the way he approached me about tutoring you, and how he looked when he mentioned you had some gaps in high school … I thought something more was going on.”
Staring at her test, Faith couldn’t really see the words, and that in itself was … irritating. For a long time, she didn’t give Caleb much thought, and now over the weeks, and past few months, he’d become a comfort.
“What’s it like being with an older man?” The moment she asked the question, she slapped a hand over her mouth and shook her head. “Completely ignore what I just said. I don’t know what the hell has come over me. I’m clearly losing it.”
Hope chuckled. “Have you ever had a girlfriend to talk to?”
“Didn’t stay long enough in one place to have one of those.” She rolled the pencil around in her fingers and felt like an utter fool.
“It’s the best feeling in the world.”
Faith looked up and saw Hope’s cheeks were red.
“Are you a virgin?” Hope asked.
“No.”
“Oh, I was. I mean, and he was so careful and gentle, and sweet. There’s … he took his time, and he made me orgasm. I’m sorry. I’m not really good at this either. I’ve been seen as a bit of weirdo for a long time.”
“It’s more than fine. I really shouldn’t ask. I don’t even know why I did.”
“Do you have a crush on Caleb?”
Faith paused for a second thinking about him. Dinner times were her favorite out of the entire day. When she was in the garden, her heart would speed up just thinking about him. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever really had a crush on someone.”
Hope laughed. “Really?”
“Again, my life hasn’t always been so easy. Guys just … don’t do it for me.”
“How do you feel when Caleb is near?”
“My heart speeds up, and I sometimes think what it would be like if he kissed me. Is that weird?”
“It’s not weird. I think this is the first time I’ve ever had a girly conversation about boys,” Hope said. “And I’m married, expecting our first baby.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thank you. Beast is very protective. He wanted me to have a bodyguard just coming here.” She chuckled. “I know to some women his protective attitude is, like, serious overkill, but I love it. I love that he worries so much about me, and he doesn’t want to see me hurt. I love that he holds me close at night, and when his arms are around me it feels like he never wants to let me go.”
Faith saw the love shining in Hope’s eyes, and she wanted that.
“I don’t think Caleb would ever feel that for me.”
Even as she thought it, she felt a little saddened by it.
“What about you?”
“What do you mean?” Faith asked.
“Don’t you feel anything for him? Sometimes it doesn’t have to be the man to start something, Faith. It could be you.”
She didn’t answer, and finished the test. Once that one was done, Hope gave her another, then another. For most of the day all she did was take tests.
Caleb came to the library to let them both know that Beast was here to take Hope home. Just the look on Hope’s face had Faith wishing for something like that for herself. Following Hope out of the library, she watched as she ran toward a man whom she assumed was Beast.
“You ready to go?” Beast asked.
“Yep.”
Hope turned toward her. “I’ll go over these, grade them, and see where we can go on from there. If you want to talk about anything at all, anything, just give me a call. Caleb knows my number.”
Before she could stop her, Hope had pulled her in for a hug. She saw Beast watching her, and she quickly closed her eyes.
“You better know what you’re doing,” Beast said.
In the next second they were both gone, and Faith stood at the door.
“My brother is very protective of his wife.”
“I can see that. Hope told me he was.” She held onto the pencil like a lifeline. Glancing over at Caleb, she wondered if he could have any feelings for her at all, or if he felt more obliged to help her, which made her cringe. She didn’t want to be a problem that needed solving.
“How did things go with Hope?”
“They went well. She’s really nice. Erm, I can’t talk to her. I don’t have a cell phone.”
Caleb nodded and pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. “Been meaning to give you this, and this.” He opened one of the drawers in the hallway that held an e-reader. “I’ve set you up an account. Anne has everything ready.”
She stared at the device, shocked and touched.
“Thank you.”
“It’s no trouble at all. I want you to be happy.”
Looking up at him, she thought about what Hope had said, and once again there was a stirring deep inside of her that she couldn’t control. Caleb reached out, stroking her cheek. “Enjoy.”
He left her alone, more confused than ever before.