Chapter Forty-One
Two Fridays later, the day before the Fairwind Farm Market, Beth awoke early. Her nerves kicked up when she realized the weight of what lay in front of her. Today would not be like every other Friday. This weekend would not be like every other weekend.
Special moments deserved to be amplified, so Beth made a conscious effort to do that.
Every day that week, members of the Willow Grove community had joined them on the farm, rebuilding what the storm had stolen and helping them set up for the sale. She’d been woefully absent from the preparations, deciding instead to focus her attention on something possibly even more important than saving their dreams for Fairwind Farm.
Still, sacrifices were being made on their behalf—the weight of that didn’t escape her. She’d become a part of this community, not because she was a disappointment who had no other option, but because she loved it here. This was exactly where she belonged.
Now, she walked practically on tiptoes, careful not to let her heels sink too far into the earth behind the old farmhouse. Up ahead, the chapel stood underneath one divinely placed beam of sunshine. Beth stopped to breathe it in, certain God had positioned the light just so and just for her.
She opened the door to the chapel and looked across the rows of wooden pews, light filtering in through the skylight and windows. At the front of the space, on the tiny platform, a large photo stood on an easel she’d found in Birdie’s art barn.
The faces of Harold, Sonya and Jess Pendergast smiled back at her, radiating life and hope and promise. Their dreams had been dashed by an inexplicable accident, an accident that robbed them of their chance at ever having a proper goodbye.
That would change today.
She turned at the sound of footfalls entering the small church and found Drew standing in the doorway.
He, like the rest of them, had spent the entire week working nonstop on the farm, but he’d taken frequent breaks to check on her, talk to her, steal kisses from her. Something inside him had shifted, and she sensed he’d found exactly what he was looking for here at Fairwind.
Funny, she had too.
Her heart leapt to think she could be a part of his prize.
At the sight of her, Drew stopped moving, as if he needed a moment to drink her in. “Is it wrong for me to really love the way you look in that dress?” His mouth pulled upward in a crooked smile.
She smoothed her hands over her simple black dress, tapered at the waist and fitted perfectly to her body. She wore a small strand of pearls around her neck, and she’d pulled her long hair up into a simple, messy bun.
“If it’s wrong, then we’re both guilty,” Beth said, eyeing him in his dark jeans and a blue button-down that skimmed his body in all the right places. “You clean up nice.”
His smile dangled there for a few long moments, and then he drew in a deep breath, as if he’d only just remembered why they were there. “I never thought this day would come.”
She glanced at the photo of the Pendergast family, then back at Drew. “I hope you’re still feeling okay about a memorial service.”
“I am. And it’ll be good to lay Jess to rest here with her parents.”
They would bury Jess at Fairwind, in the family cemetery behind the chapel. Sonya and Harold had been buried there, and beside their graves, a small stone had been placed in Jess’s memory. Now, thanks to Drew, they’d be able to reunite the little family once and for all.
At the sound of approaching voices, Beth started toward the door, but Drew grabbed her arm, stopped her. “Beth.”
She met his eyes.
“Thank you.”
“I didn’t do anything. You did this.”
“No.” He looked away. Words still didn’t come easily for him. And that was okay. He needed to know it was okay.
“It’s okay, Drew, I—”
“You gave me a safe place,” he cut her off. His blue eyes looked even brighter in the light of the chapel, or maybe a shadow had been lifted, making everything clearer, crisper. “I’ve never had that before.”
Beth wanted to wrap her arms around him, to hold him forever.
In a way, he’d given her a safe place too. A place to be herself, even if that wasn’t who she’d expected it to be. He’d loved her without condition, in a way that didn’t make sense to her, and she prayed in that moment she’d be able to do the same for him—for as long as he would let her.
Molly appeared at the doorway, with their mother and Bishop close behind. Beth gave Drew one last knowing glance, then moved toward the door to meet her family as Drew went to the front of the chapel.
She reached her mother, who pulled her into a gentle hug.
“You’re doing a wonderful thing here,” Lilian said.
Beth smiled. “Thanks for the push, Mom.”
Her mother’s eyebrows shot up. “Me? I had nothing to do with this. This was all you girls. And that handsome man up there, from what I’m told.”
Beth followed her gaze to Drew, who stood near the front of the chapel, looking over his notes. “Yes, I’ll introduce you. After. Go find a seat.”
Her mom studied her for a moment. “You seem happy.”
“And you seem healthy.”
Her mother squeezed Beth’s hands and walked off with Molly, leaving Beth in the doorway. She greeted familiar faces—Birdie, Callie, Ben, even Dina had made the drive—while Bishop strummed hymns on his guitar until everyone was seated. There weren’t enough seats, but nobody seemed to mind standing.
Everyone wanted to say goodbye to the little girl who had gone too soon.
Beth walked to the front of the church and took a seat next to Drew. He reached over and took her hand as Pastor Harker stepped onto the platform and met their eyes. He gave them a warm smile and then opened his Bible.
Pastor Harker read from Ecclesiastes, familiar words about a time for everything under heaven. When he finished, he asked Drew to join him on the stage.
Drew’s throat was dry.
He must not have been thinking when he’d agreed to this.
“It has to be you, Drew,” Birdie had said. “You knew her best.”
And he knew she was right—but as he stood behind the small pulpit, feeling too clumsy and too big, he looked out over the crowd of now-familiar faces looking back at him.
“Just talk to me,” Beth had said.
As if that had ever come easily to him.
His eyes found her, sitting in the front row looking stunningly beautiful, hair pulled away from her face, bright eyes startling life into his bones.
She gave him a warm smile.
“The day Jess went missing was the worst day of my life,” Drew began.
The crowd stilled.
“A lot of people thought I had answers. Some even thought I had something to do with what happened to her. I spent a lot of years wondering if they were right. Got pretty mad at myself when I couldn’t give everyone what they wanted.”
His eyes fell. “I had a lot of nightmares, and after a while, I started to hate all of my memories of Fairwind Farm.
“But today, I realized something. I realized I had more than nightmares of this place. I also had the memories of a girl who had the loudest, funniest laugh. A girl who loved to hunt for frogs and bait hooks for fishing out back in the creek. And if you tried to do it for her, she’d slap your hand away.” He laughed at the memory. “I can still hear her singing in the barn—completely off-key—just because she loved the song so much.”
He pulled his gaze from the podium to the audience. “Yeah, something terrible happened that day. And I was a witness to it. But I was also a witness to something pretty amazing too. Jessica Pendergast’s life.”
He took a moment to hear her voice in the shadow of his mind, then looked at Beth. “Man, I wish you’d all known her. She would’ve cracked you guys up.”
Tentative laughter trickled through the room.
“Jess was what you’d call spunky. If you told her she couldn’t do something, it only made her want to do it more.” Another glance at Beth. “I suppose you two had that in common.”
Beth smiled.
“I came here looking for something—I don’t even think I knew what it was,” Drew said. “But I didn’t expect to find what I did. While I’m now able to turn the page on one chapter of my life, a new one has already begun. And I owe that to the people in this room.”
He drew in a deep breath. A breath that washed new life over him, giving him permission to put his shame to rest alongside Jess Pendergast.
“I just want to thank you all.” He turned to Beth. “Especially you. For accepting me into this family.” His voice caught in his throat. This was more talking than he’d done all year. “Just, thanks.”
Drew walked off the platform and into the reverent silence of the room, certain that he’d never be able to properly convey to the world, or to Beth, the way her love had saved him. Now, on the other side of his pain, he could see that he’d been a walking shadow of a man.
But never again would he be haunted by the darkness he’d carried for so many years. Instead, he’d stepped out of the shadows to live in the light.
They stood in the family cemetery behind the small chapel as Pastor Harker prayed one final prayer and Jess’s small white casket was lowered into the ground. The people of Willow Grove had donated money for a new headstone for the little girl, one that included both the day of her birth and the day of her death along with the following words:
The earth laughs in flowers.
Beth brought a rose to her face and inhaled its glorious aroma. While she’d once believed a love of flowers made a girl weak, she now saw them for what they really were—a beautiful gift bestowed on all creation by a kind, loving Creator. The kind of gift that didn’t need to be earned, the kind given to anyone who stood with arms stretched up to heaven in surrender.
Today, and every day, Beth decided to live with her arms open, welcoming every lavish gift God wanted to give her.
No matter how unworthy she felt.
And as they followed the rest of the group away from the gravesite, Drew’s hand firmly pressed into her own, Beth inhaled a deep prayer of thanks for the gift she’d grown to love most of all.
A beautiful, broken soul with pitch-dark hair and stunning blue eyes. A man she’d decided to love without condition, the way God loved her. She slowed their pace, putting distance between them and the others.
“How are you feeling, really?” she asked when everyone had moved along.
He squeezed her hand. “Better than I think I ever have.”
“I liked what you said in there.” She brushed a stray hair back into her messy bun. “I was just wondering, this new chapter you were talking about . . . am I in it?”
Drew stopped walking and looked at her, doing a poor job of hiding a smile. “On every single page.” He took her face in his hands and kissed her—wholly, sweetly and wonderfully kissed her.
With her arms around his neck, she leaned back and met his eyes. “You are the best gift of all.”
He answered her with another kiss.
Another reminder that the best gifts are given freely and without strings.
And for the first time in her life, Beth Whitaker decided not to ask questions, but instead opened up her heart, outstretched her hands and received.