‘Mamma Mia,’ Rory, my next-door neighbour calls out as I walk down the street.
I’ve had another day hanging out at Dylan’s house, asking him questions, taking notes. I have a lot of stuff to work with now, but there are still particular things I need from him – the things he doesn’t like talking about. Amazing, that you can get him to talk openly about the time he kissed a man in a dress because he thought it was a woman, but you can’t get him to talk about his feelings.
This evening Leo and I are putting our Christmas tree up – our first time doing it in our new home. He was at a stag do last night and I don’t know what time he got in, but it was late, and I was up and out before he woke up – hopefully his hangover has passed now because I’m so excited for this evening. This morning, before I set off, I cleared out the living room so we could make the room perfect for the festive period. Well, as close to perfect as possible. We were going to decorate the living room this weekend but now, to take the pressure off, we’re going to wait until after Christmas. So I’ve moved all the boxes and filled the room with the furniture we’ll need, as well as a few decorative items. I’ve left a space for the Christmas tree in the corner. The room might be white, but it’s going to look amazing once the decorations are up. I’m not one of those girls who goes crazy for Christmas, but this year I’m excited about our tree.
Rory and Iwan are walking along the opposite side of the street, obviously on their way home from work too.
‘Hello, boys,’ I call over to them.
They make a move to cross the road so I wait for them. We might as well walk the last five minutes together.
‘How’s it going, Mia?’ Iwan asks. ‘We never see you these days.’
‘I know, sorry,’ I reply. ‘I’ve been so busy with work, and Leo has been doing so much overtime.’
Iwan shrugs.
‘Don’t worry about it,’ he assures me. ‘Just come out with us this weekend – Leo too.’
‘I think I might be working this weekend.’
The boys boo me.
‘You got your wedding business sorted now?’ Rory asks.
‘Not quite,’ I reply.
‘I’ve gotta tell you, Mia, I can’t see you in a white dress,’ Iwan chimes in.
I stop in my tracks.
‘Erm, because you don’t think it’s my style or because I’m not virginal?’ I ask, semi-offended.
‘Well, both,’ he laughs.
He’s not wrong.
As we approach our houses, I notice a large white van parked outside.
‘Does that look like a TV licence van to you?’ Rory asks me, eyeballing it cautiously, but as we get closer we see the driver get out and knock on my door.
‘Hello,’ I call out to him. ‘Sorry, I’ve just got back from work.’
‘Don’t worry, darling,’ the driver says. ‘Mia Valentina?’
‘Yes.’
‘Got a delivery for you. Sign here.’
The driver hands me a small electronic device, which I sign my name on.
I hover on my doorstep, rubbing my hands together to fight off the cold as I wait for my delivery.
The driver emerges from the back of his van with a large bunch of flowers, all tied together with Christmassy colours, sparkly ribbons and a dusting of glitter.
‘Wow, they’re beautiful,’ I say.
‘Mate, you’re engaged now. Doesn’t Leo know he doesn’t have to bother with flowers any more?’ Rory laughs.
Leo never actually buys me flowers.
Just when I think the driver is leaving, he pulls out another bouquet of flowers, even more beautiful than the last.
‘Oh, I know what this is,’ I tell the boys. ‘I told him I didn’t have a favourite flower a few days ago. This is probably just his cute way of helping me realise which one is my favourite, so I can have them at my wedding.’
‘Soft git,’ Rory laughs. ‘You’ve got yourself a keeper there.’
I’m just about to agree and say goodbye to my friends when I notice the driver dragging a large wicker basket up my garden path.
‘More?’ I asks.
‘A few more,’ the driver replies, plonking the chest down in front of me.
Another two baskets, one box and a four-feet-tall cuddly toy later, the driver seems just about done.
‘Is that it?’ I ask.
‘Oops, don’t forget the balloons,’ he says, grabbing a bunch of balloons with a small envelope attached to them. ‘Here you go.’
‘Tell Leo men like us don’t stand a chance, competing with stunts like that,’ Iwan laughs.
I smile, although I’m a little confused. It’s a lovely gesture. I just don’t understand why.
I pull the little card from the balloons, careful not to let go of them, which would send them floating off into the dark sky.
I’m just about to read the card when I notice my handsome fiancé arriving home from work.
‘Hey, you,’ I say brightly. ‘What’s all this?’
‘I was just about to ask you,’ he laughs. ‘Figured you’d been Christmas shopping.’
‘So this stuff isn’t from you?’ Rory asks.
‘Erm, no,’ Leo replies, suddenly sounding a little suspicious.
Crap.
‘Awkwaaaard,’ Iwan says, doing some kind of gesture with his hands that I’m probably not nerdy enough to understand.
I take the card from the envelope and read the message.
‘Please reconsider, I need you. D.’
Leo sidles up next to me and reads over my shoulder.
‘Is this stuff from Dylan? What does he mean he needs you?’ Leo asks, little pricks of anger peppering his words.
I look over at Rory and Iwan, who are just staring at us from their doorstep, probably wishing they had some popcorn and a blanket right about now.
‘No,’ I start. ‘Look, help me get this stuff inside, then we’ll talk.’
Leo obliges, carrying the wicker baskets and the box while I stick to the balloons and flowers. We place everything down on the living-room floor.
‘Are you not going to open them?’ Leo asks, as though I might be keeping the contents from him.
I pop the tops off everything before standing back to take stock: balloons, two large bouquets of flowers, a box full of expensive beauty products and three wicker baskets full of delicious-looking things to eat and drink.
‘So…’ Leo starts, more than ready for his explanation.
‘So, they’re not from Dylan, they’re from Donnie Skinner, my old boss in LA.’
‘Didn’t he sack you? Why would he be sending you such an elaborate Christmas gift?’
‘Because he wants me to work for him again. That’s what he means when he says “I need you” – he needs me to write a movie.’
‘Oh,’ Leo says. ‘The note asked you to reconsider – does that mean you turned it down?’
‘Of course,’ I reply.
‘Why?’ he asks.
I’m confused. I thought turning down the job would be the thing that would make him happiest, but he seems upset.
‘Well, because my life is here now,’ I tell him. ‘We’ve got the house and the wedding coming up.’
‘Well, the house isn’t going anywhere, and as for the wedding – nothing is booked.’
‘What are you saying?’ I ask him.
‘I’m saying that nothing is set in stone. Just because we’re together and we have this house doesn’t mean you have to reject the job offer. Why didn’t you tell me about it?’
I slip off my coat and pull off my hat before sitting down on the sofa. Leo takes a seat next to me, ready to hear me out.
‘I didn’t want to put you in that position,’ I tell him. ‘Even if I just went to do this one project, I could be there for months, and what if they wanted me to stay for longer? What if I wanted to stay for longer? What would that mean for us?’
Leo takes my hands in his.
‘Mia, I love you. I want to make you happy – whatever it takes. But you don’t talk to me. You never tell me what’s on your mind. You just bottle it up and stress yourself out and then we end up having a conversation like this. You should have told me.’
‘I know, I’m sorry,’ I say. ‘I just didn’t want to cause any problems.’
‘So, are you going to reconsider the offer?’
‘No,’ I tell him. ‘I don’t want to go to LA, I want to stay here with you.’
‘Shall we at least talk it out?’ Leo asks.
‘No,’ I reply. ‘I’ve made my mind up. I don’t want to go. I want to stay here with you.’
‘I don’t want you turning down a job I know you used to love, just because of me,’ he says with real sadness, like he feels he’s holding me back.
‘I loved the job but I love you more,’ I tell him honestly.
Leo grabs me and hugs me, squeezing me tightly.
‘I love you, Mia. And I can tell when something is on your mind – I could tell yesterday at the wedding venue.’
I’m not sure I give Leo enough credit for his attentiveness and his perception sometimes. Of course the person who loves me, who knows me better than anyone else, can tell when I’m not right.
‘Is that all that’s on your mind?’ he asks.
I pause for a second. There’s a voice in my head urging me to tell Leo the truth, about how I’m feeling about the wedding – but if he thinks I’m saying that I don’t want to marry him, it might break his heart. It would break mine to see him think that for even a second.
‘That’s all,’ I lie.
‘I’ll never hold you back, Mia,’ he says, finally releasing me.
‘I know,’ I reply.
I know he won’t because he’s amazing. I’m so lucky to have him and I’m terrified that one day he’ll wake up and realise how much better he can do than me.
‘I thought it through, I really did. But this is my life now and I’m happier with it. Even if it might have been good financially, Dylan’s publishers are paying well and this might open the door to more books.’
‘I trust you,’ he assures me. ‘Just be more open and honest with me.’
‘OK,’ I agree, even though I’m keeping some pretty big doubts from him.
Leo takes off his shoes and turns out his pockets, unbuttoning his jeans as he heads upstairs. He’s only been up there a minute or so when I see his phone spring to life with a message. I can’t help but eyeball it as I walk past, noticing he has a message from someone called Amy. I can only see the preview, but it says: ‘I still have your jacket from last night. Thanks f…’ The urge to open it is overwhelming. What was a girl doing on a stag do and why does she have my fiancé’s jacket?
‘Are we still putting the tree up tonight?’ he calls from upstairs.
‘Erm, maybe another night,’ I reply. ‘I’m not feeling very festive right now.’