Chloe

I look over at Evan when Dr. Bergstein’s nurse calls out my name.

Chloe Newell.

He doesn’t react which I suspect is because he did some digging and realized that I’m still lugging around my married name. I’ve been meaning to file the paperwork to change it back to Jones. I’m definitely doing that before the baby is born.

“Do you want the baby to have your last name?” I ask when we both stand to follow the nurse to the exam room. “Or we could do a hyphenated thing like Jones hyphen Scott or we could just name the baby Jones Scott.”

He stops mid-step to look at me. “I want whatever you do, Chloe. Whatever makes you happiest.”

I follow the nurse down the corridor with Evan next to me. “I’d like for its surname to be Scott. I want that for the baby.”

A ghost of a smile slides over his mouth. “I’d like that.”

We enter an exam room where Dr. Bergstein is already waiting. “I’ve got a full schedule and I’m actually on time for once. It’s good to see you both. Evan, it’s been awhile.”

“Rita,” he says quietly. “It’s nice to see you looking so well.”

“My nose is courtesy of your mother.” She turns to show us her profile. “She does the best work. It’s well worth the trip west.”

He doesn’t respond. I make a mental note to ask him what that was about once we’re done.

“I’m going to do our regular exam and then we’ll have a listen to the baby’s heart.”

I look at her face before my gaze slides to Evan. He looks as surprised as I do. “We get to hear our baby’s heartbeat, Evan. I didn’t know that was going to happen today.”

He nervously shifts from one foot to another, his hand stroking his chin. “It’s good. We’ll hear it together.”

I nod as I toss him a compassionate look. I know what he’s feeling. He went through this once before and it turned out that baby wasn’t his. I don’t know if he’s opened the envelope that contains the paternity test results yet, but I’m hoping that after hearing our baby’s little heart beating, that he’ll feel as connected to our child as I do.

“Hop up here, Chloe.” Dr. Bergstein pats the top of the exam table. “We’ll get started and we’ll see just how strong the new little Scott is.”

***

“Tell me why you’re crying.” Evan cradles me in his arms. “I want to help, Chloe. I need to know why you’re crying.”

The tears began as joy when we heart the whoosh and then the heartbeat of our beautiful baby. It was steady and strong and Dr. Bergstein said it was a good sign of things to come.

We left her office and headed to Central Park. On our way there we passed a tourist bus and my tears morphed into something else.

My mom used to take me for rides on the buses when my brothers were too busy to hang out with us. My mom would pretend to be from out-of-town and would question the tour guide on every landmark we passed.

I lived for those moments when she’d make me laugh aloud.

We followed every single one of those rides with a hot dog in Central Park.

“I wish my mom could have been with us today.” I look at a group of children playing on the grass. “When I was trying to have a baby years ago, she’d tell me that her greatest wish was to be a grandma. She never got it, and now that I’m pregnant, it’s feels bittersweet.”

He holds me close. “I wish she could have been here too. I would do anything in my power to change that day if I could.”

It’s a sweet thing to say. I would do anything I could too but the doctors tried valiantly to save her life. “No one could have done a thing.”

“I could have,” he insists. “I’m the best there is, Chloe.”

I pull away so I can meet his eyes with mine. “I have no doubt that you’re a wonderful surgeon, Evan, but you don’t even know what was wrong with her.”

He swallows hard. “Your mother died from an abdominal aortic aneurysm.”

I stare at his lips. Did he really just say that? “I’ve never told you that.”

His eyes close briefly before he locks them with mine. “I was there, Chloe. I was in the operating room. I was present when your mother died.”

I’m on my feet in an instant, my hands pushing against the air around me trying to find room to breathe. “You weren’t there. It was another doctor. You aren’t him, Evan.”

“Dr. Jordan Whitman made the notification to your family that night.” He searches my face. “I’m sorry, Chloe. I wanted to save her. If I would have had more time, I might have had a chance, but it was too late.”

“Too late?” I step back when he reaches for me. “You had a chance to save her life? You were there?”

“I was there,” he says softly.

“You saw her die?” My voice cracks as my body shakes with a sob. “Did she suffer? Was she in pain?”

“No.” He fists his hands at his sides. “It was quick. She wouldn’t have felt anything after she collapsed on the sidewalk.”

I turn away from him to sort through my thoughts. How could he have been there? I would have seen him. I would have felt something, wouldn’t I? We didn’t know each other then, but the bond that connects us now is so strong.

“There’s more.” I feel his hand on my shoulder. “I need to tell you something else.”

I spin back around. “About my mom? Is it about my mom?”
“No.” He hangs his head. “It’s about your ex-husband. I’m the reason he left you that night.”