I shift on my chair, a soft hiss leaving me. I’m sore, my pussy clenching on its own, the memory of exactly what was shoved inside of me vivid. Although I’m sore and full of partial regret, I can’t deny I wish I was with Nick right now. I didn’t want to leave yesterday, didn’t want to pretend I could just walk away. But I will be damned if I am going to make a fool of myself and want something more with him when he probably just wanted some easy sex, and he sure as hell got that tenfold .

I exhale and lean back, not sure exactly what to do next. I don’t even know his last name to try and contact him, if I was going to go that route. And even if I did know where to find him what would I say ?

“Hey, remember me? We had some kinky Santa roleplaying sex.” Yeah, not going to happen .

“Hey .”

I glance over and see Michael standing in my office doorway, his smile wide, and the “fuck me” look he’s giving me pretty intense. I know Michael wants me, and he makes no secret about it, but with his greasy slicked-back hair and reputation of trying to bang every female in the office, I’ve never been more put off by a man .

Well, and given the fact I’ve just experienced a real man in Nick, roleplaying or not, Michael is more of a turnoff than anything else .

“Hi, Michael,” I say with absolutely zero interest in my voice. I know him well enough to understand even a slight smile in his direction makes him think you want him in your bed .

“A bunch of us are hitting up O’Hare’s after work. Wanna join in ?”

I should say no right away, but he’s making it sound like it’s an office affair, which I wouldn’t mind, especially since it will help keep my mind off Nick. “Who is all going ?”

“Kelly and Mitch, Randall, Shellie, and I think Donald. I’m sure we’ll get a few others to go, but after the Anderson account has been wrapped up we all need to let loose a little.” He wags his eyebrows at me and I don’t even try to hide my distaste .

“Maybe. I have to see if I have anything going on.” That’s a lie. I have nothing going on, but it’s sounding a little more appealing to just go home and finish off a bottle of wine while I soak in a bubble bath…and of course think about Nick and all the things I want him to do to me still .

Michael doesn’t leave right away, and I close my eyes, knowing I am totally screwed either way. I want to see Nick again, but I have no clue where to even start, where to even look .

Then it looks like I’m shit out of luck. Looks like I just need to move on, and hopefully if I ever find another man he won’t be so disappointing that all I keep thinking about is a damn one-night stand .

“Yeah, okay. Getting out with everyone will be nice.” I don’t bother looking at Michael, but I can practically feel his excitement fill the room .

When he finally leaves I look back out the window. I can’t see much but skyscrapers and a murky sky from the winter weather swiftly approaching, but I need something else to focus on besides a certain Kris Kringle-playing hottie who happened to be covered in tattoos and made me sore the next day .

Yeah, Nick definitely ruined me for all other men .

* * *

I sit around with a handful of co-workers, the martini in front of me only half drank. The pub is packed, with bodies almost shoulder-to-shoulder, and the scent of sweat and alcohol filling the air. I swear I can even scent sex lingering, as if all these people are waiting for the liquor to kick in before they take a random stranger home and fuck them .

Kind of like the scenario I keep daydreaming about .

I lift my drink and down half of it, feeling the burn travel down my throat and settle in my belly. “I’ll be right back.” I grab my coat and excuse myself, heading out the front, pushing my way through the thick throng of people crowded in the pub. Once outside, I wrap my jacket around myself a little tighter and lean against the side of the building .

The air is crisp, the winter already here and biting me in the ass. I stare at the crowds of people, shopping bags in their hands, the late night not stopping them from getting their shit done. This is New York, the city that never sleeps, my home, and a place that has over eight million people residing here. There’s no way in hell I’ll ever see Nick again .

The odds are definitely not in my favor .