Wet panties were the last thing I needed while standing next to my boss. Couldn’t be helped, though. Not when John was within a one-mile radius. He could be a dozen yards away, and my body shot straight into sex mode. Goose bumps, weak knees, hard nipples…and I’d already mentioned the state of my panties.
I probably should have been ashamed that the only man who’d ever gotten me going like that was technically—technically—my brother. Stepbrother, to be precise. Stepbrother who didn’t come into the family until he was well into his twenties and out of the house—out of the country. Stepbrother who’d never even inhabited the same home, with the exception of ninety-minute family dinners once a month. But from the way John acted toward me, you’d think we’d shared a womb.
No. I knew brothers. Knew how rude and gross and overbearing they could be. How they loved to make my life hell just because. How they’d sneak their nasty, dirty socks in with my laundry to get out of doing theirs, or pile into the car and then lock the windows so I had to suffer through a tear-inducing dutch oven courtesy of all three of them.
Not even close to my relationship with John…or the relationship I wanted with him.
I shook those thoughts from my head as I followed my boss, Mr. Huntley, into the firehouse for our tour, stopping to shake hands with Dwayne Montgomery, the captain. I’d been anticipating this visit since I’d set it up with Lola, Mayor Briscoe’s assistant. John worked forty-eight hours on, forty-eight hours off, and I may have had his schedule memorized. I also may have worked the visit so it fell on a day he’d be at the station. I was a glutton for punishment, but I couldn’t help myself. If there was a chance to see John in his uniform, I’d take it.
“Thank you for giving us a tour,” Mr. Huntley said, gesturing for Mayor Briscoe and me to go ahead of him. “I’m sure you’ve got plenty of other things to do, but I appreciate it nonetheless.”
“Of course.” Dwayne nodded, shooting me a wink. “Besides, when Little Emmy called and needed a favor for her first big job, I couldn’t very well say no, could I?”
A string of obscenities exploded in my head, but I kept my outward composure for the sake of my job. My father’s best friend or not, the captain deserved a swift kick in the ass. Yeah, he’d seen me grow up, but so what? It was damn difficult to try to make something of myself, to try to be seen as a professional, adult woman, when everyone and their dog referred to me as Little Emmy.
“She does seem to have a way of getting what she wants around here,” Mr. Huntley said, glancing at me, his lips tipped up at the corners. “Which is fine by me. I need someone who knows the ropes in Temperance Falls.”
“Well, that’s definitely Emmy. I remember one time when she—”
I cleared my throat loudly, getting Dwayne’s attention. “Are the firefighters ready for us? We wouldn’t want to keep them waiting.” I tried to keep my glare under wraps, but from Mr. Huntley’s hushed laughter, apparently, I wasn’t quite successful.
Dwayne chuckled but kept his mouth shut as he led us through a door to the garage, filled with two fire trucks and a dozen firefighters, all looking in our direction. It only took me five seconds to find John in the group, his height putting him inches above the others. Carelessly mussed dark blond hair stood this way and that, and eyes I knew to be bright blue scanned the room. God, I’d been right to schedule this when he was working, my mouth going dry at how hot he looked. Broad shoulders stretching his Temperance Falls Fire Department T-shirt, arms crossed over his chest, brow furrowed. Probably trying to figure out what the fuss was.
“Gentlemen!” Dwayne barked, startling me enough to force my eyes away from John. Like I was a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Then again, I didn’t suppose it was acceptable behavior to look at your stepbrother like you wanted to strip down, climb him like a tree, and hop on for a ride. “Please welcome Mr. Colin Huntley, CEO of Huntley Group, Mayor Kate Briscoe, and someone we should all know, considering she’s been running around the neighborhood her entire life, Miss Emery Collins, to the firehouse.”
I didn’t have time enough to give Dwayne a grateful look that he’d used my full name instead of my nickname because I was too entranced by John. His eyes shot straight to me as soon as Dwayne said my name, and all the air in the room promptly evaporated.
I hadn’t seen him, hadn’t talked to him, hadn’t texted him—hadn’t had any contact at all with him, in fact—since family dinner night last week. When I’d cornered him. When I’d dropped the bomb I’d been working up the nerve to ask since my first appointment with my gynecologist.
He stared at me for a brief moment, his jaw ticking, before clapping Riley Nash on the shoulder and stalking out of the room without a backward glance. My stomach crumpled, my heart actually aching over his dismissal. It wasn’t only that he’d obviously made his choice not to help me fulfill what I so desperately wanted—a baby—but that he’d changed into someone I didn’t even know anymore.
When I’d started writing him letters all those years ago, I’d done it because I’d wanted to get to know the newest member of my family. But it’d quickly become something else entirely. The way we communicated was so freeing, the distance of letters and emails allowing me to be more myself than I could with anyone else. And it didn’t take long to realize our interactions weren’t sibling-like, as I’d assumed they’d be. There hadn’t been anything romantic there either—not at first. Just friendship. Real and true friendship. One I feared I’d totally annihilated with my request.
Though, he hadn’t been the same since he’d been back. He’d become my best friend while he’d been deployed, and then suddenly, on his first day back on the island, I was a leper he couldn’t stand to be around.
That was fine. I’d decided over the past year that I wanted a baby, and I’d gone after that. And while my Plan A—a baby with John—was apparently no longer an option, I’d have to move on with Plan B. Just as soon as I figured out what that was.
* * *
The tour didn’t take long, and John avoided the rest of it. I never saw his head over the others, never saw his eyes peering at me. That was just as well. I needed to figure out what the hell I was going to do now that it was obvious he had no interest in helping me. And attempting to do so while staring at the only person my body—or my heart—was interested in wasn’t an easy feat. I didn’t have time to pine over him or daydream about what might have been. My time was running out.
“Emery.” Mr. Huntley pulled me aside as the mayor and Dwayne chatted while the firefighters dispersed. “Mayor Briscoe and I have a few things to discuss back at her office. You can cut out early.”
“Okay.” I nodded, glancing at my watch, relieved I wouldn’t have to try to focus enough to get actual work done. Mr. Huntley was of the work hard, play hard philosophy, which sometimes made him a difficult man to work for. It also sometimes meant I got to cut out at two o’clock in the afternoon. “I’ll double-check your schedule for tomorrow before I head home.”
“Perfect. I’ll call you later this evening to get the details.”
Par for the course with him—a late-ish phone call to discuss the following day’s schedule. I didn’t mind—not for what he was paying me. Hell, he could come over at two a.m., and I’d serve him tea while we went over it if he wanted.
I said my goodbyes, once again thanking the captain for making the tour possible, and hurried toward the garage door that led outside. Eager to get home so I could nurse my wounded pride and bruised heart. Preferably with a pint of Chunky Monkey.
“Since when are suits your type?”
I startled, snapping my attention to the right where John was tucked into an alcove just off the door. “Since…” I shook my head, trying to follow him, all the while attempting not to get swept up in his presence. “What?”
“The suit. Calling you later.” His brows pinched together, his jaw tight. “I didn't think guys like that were your type.”
I narrowed my eyes. What the hell was he getting at? Since when did he care at all about any of that? If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was jealous, but he’d made it pretty damn clear he wanted nothing to do with me like that. And didn’t want anything to do with my proposition. “I didn’t think you gave much of a damn who my type was.”
He planted his feet and crossed his arms, his jaw ticking once. “I don't.”
If I weren’t so pissed at him, I’d laugh. “Then I don’t know why you stopped me from leaving. Or why you care whether or not Mr. Huntley is calling me later. Or why it should bother you at all if we’re going to discuss business…or pleasure.”
John always towered over me, but right then, he seemed even taller, his obvious anger adding another six inches to his stature, easy. “I thought you were smarter than to sleep with your boss.”
He might as well have slapped me for how hard his words hit me. Especially coming from him—the one person who knew me better than anyone. And the fact that he thought he even had the right to give input on a part of my life he clearly had no desire to be involved in? If my boss weren’t standing across the room, I would’ve shoved John in his stupid, oversized, caveman chest.
Clenching my hands into fists at my sides, I glared at him. “Nope, just a dumb kid.”
I shoved past him, no longer interested in whatever he had to say. No longer interested in even being around him, too angry to see straight. How he elicited equal amounts of irritation and attraction in me, I’d never know.
He hissed out a curse at the same time he grabbed my wrist, pulling me to a stop. “Emery, wait. I didn't mean that the way it came out.”
“Well, I’m not sure how else you could’ve meant it.” I yanked my arm back, hating how much I loved his touch. Hating how even the most innocent caress lit up my body from the inside. I crossed my arms, attempting to hide my reaction to him. Attempting to shield myself in whatever way I could. “Look, I get it. You don’t want any part of what I’m planning. You’ve made that perfectly clear, and that’s fine. You were my first choice, but that doesn’t mean you’re my only choice. I’ve got other options.”
He didn’t need to know I hadn’t yet found those other options, but I would. I would, because this was something I wanted. Desperately. And as much as I wanted it with him, I wanted it for myself equally.
John’s entire body jerked as he blinked in clear astonishment. After a tense moment, he leaned forward, enunciating every syllable in a low, gritty voice. “You have options?”
That voice shouldn’t have done things to me. Shouldn’t have gotten my panties wet—or wetter, as it were. Shouldn’t have made my nipples harden. Shouldn’t have made my heart race. But it did. It so did. And if I hung around for even another thirty seconds, he’d be able to tell.
“Yes,” I said, turning to go. Needing to flee to safer ground. Needing to get as far away as I could from John and his brain-scrambling presence. “Or did you think my world revolved around only you?”
I didn’t give him a chance to respond. Instead, I spun on my heel and hurried out of the firehouse and away from John. Away from the person I’d offered a permanent place in my life—one he’d proved he held little interest in.
After swinging by my office to grab my laptop, I sped home, pulling around the side of the oversized main house and to my picturesque cottage on the lake. On a normal day, I’d be smiling as I drove up to the tiny white house, complete with window boxes full of fresh flowers and a colorful welcome mat out front. It was mine, all mine—my own little piece of paradise. Any other day, I’d daydream as I walked inside. Letting my mind wander to what it’d be like to have John filling up my space, making the perfectly acceptable-sized cottage feel way too small.
But today, I blocked it out as I parked and walked inside, dropping my laptop next to the love seat. Mr. Huntley wouldn’t be calling for several hours, which meant I had nothing waiting for me but a bubble bath with my name on it, a marathon of The Office, and as many pints of ice cream as I had in my freezer. Not the most adult thing I could do, but after the interaction I’d had with John, I deserved it.
Tonight, I’d allow myself to wallow in the what-could’ve-beens, but tomorrow… Tomorrow, I’d—
A two-by-four pounded against my front door, the entire outside wall shaking with the force. I froze in my path to the bathroom, head jerking toward the sound. My heartbeat broke into a sprint, my pulse fluttering in anticipation. There was only one person that could be. My brothers—demanding, overprotective oafs that they were—all had keys and used them at their leisure. My dad wouldn’t come over without Yvonne, and she would never allow him to announce their presence like a…a demand. And that was exactly what it was. A demand in four quick raps. One that said, Open this door right now, Emery Grace.
With tentative steps, I inched my way toward the door. Paused with my fingers pressed against the cool wood, both anxious and terrified about what awaited me on the other side. But if John wanted to pick up where we left off, fine. I’d do it. And I wouldn’t hold back. Not anymore.
Even though I’d known it was him, opening the door and seeing his imposing form filling the entire width of my doorway still managed to take my breath away. He rested his hands on either side of the doorframe, his head hanging between massive shoulders that blocked out nearly all the light behind him.
And then…oh, then, he lifted his head, his eyes locking with mine. The anger and frustration I’d been expecting. But the desire that was so plainly clear? That nearly made me fall on my ass, and his low, rough voice sent shock waves straight between my legs.
“How do we do this baby-making thing?”