I’d never known a woman that was capable of gutting me with a mere few words. But Hailey had done it. Numerous times. She could wind me up, frustrate the hell out of me, and break me down just by opening her mouth.

But to hear her worry about me after she’s gone? The woman may as well have ripped my heart out and stomped on it. She didn’t truly believe I could protect her from her father. She didn’t believe me when I said I would keep her safe.

And that realization was like a punch in the gut.

I shouldn’t have walked away from her, but it hurt me more to stand there and see the resignation in her eyes than it did to leave her standing there in the middle of the living room, making her think she’d done something wrong.

I was being an oversensitive jerk, and I was taking my helplessness out on her. It was one thing for me to feel useless in the fight against Creighton Banks, but it was another thing altogether to know that Hailey thought I was, too.

I wasn’t sure how long I stood in that bedroom, seething silently over my shortcomings. Long enough that I could hear Hailey on the other side of the door, shuffling around the room, turning the water on in the kitchen. She’d given up waiting for me to return to the dinner I’d left on the table, and was rinsing the dishes.

I pictured her standing in front of the sink, tears silently streaming down her cheeks as she arranged the dishes in the dishwasher, one by one, not wanting to be here, and wondering if she could sneak out without me knowing.

When I wasn’t working, I spent almost all of my time alone, so I knew I would undoubtedly be a difficult person to live with. Stuck in my ways, and a creature of my own routine, I did things without contemplation of how those things might affect those around me. Mostly because there rarely were other people around. If I spent time with friends or family, it was usually out somewhere, a festive event or a gettogether held at someone else’s house.

Not here. This apartment was my space, my sanctuary.

And that’s why I’d brought Hailey here. Because it was a refuge, a safe haven. Safe from the outside world.

Now, though, the reason I’d brought her here—to be safe within these apartment walls—was the reason she was hurting. But it wasn’t being in the apartment that had caused her pain; it was me. I’d brought her here to keep her safe from those that meant her harm, and in the end, I was the one who’d hurt her.

“Jesus.” I combed my fingers roughly through my hair. I was going to combust. That’s what it felt like, not knowing what to do to. Not knowing what to feel.

Because that was a problem, too. I was feeling too many damn things. Conflicting things. Hailey Spencer had taken over my mind from the first day I saw her, but she’d managed to take over my body, too, making me instinctively react to her in a way that I couldn’t deny and couldn’t ignore.

I’d kissed her. Not once, but twice. A third time would only make the fire burning within me burst into flame. Which was exactly why I kept pulling away. I was drawn to her, a gravitational pull forcing me closer, urging me to wrap myself in the warmth of her body and hold on. I couldn’t explain it, and I’d never felt anything like it. But Hailey was definitely a force to be reckoned with, something I couldn’t comprehend, couldn’t fathom…and couldn’t let go of.

I wanted her, all of her. Which only led to me pushing her away. Because that wanting, to me, was scarier than going up against a convicted murderer any day. Hailey had something that Creighton Banks never would, something I feared more than the loss of my life itself. She had the power to undo me utterly and completely. She was my kryptonite, and yet I could never be the hero she needed. Never be the man she deserved.

I moved across the room, sitting on the edge of my bed. Leaning forward, I held my head in my hands, lost. And as my mind reeled, it occurred to me that perhaps Hailey didn’t just hold the power to undo me—maybe she’d already done it. Maybe my scattered thoughts and conflicting feelings were just proof that I’d already careened off the edge I was trying so carefully to avoid. And, if that was the case, there was only one thing left to admit to myself.

Falling off the edge—falling into anything—was a one-way trip. There was no turning back.

* * *

Silence met me when I opened my bedroom door. Hailey wasn’t in the kitchen or the living room, and the bathroom door was open, light off. Instantly, my gaze swung toward the entryway, but the deadbolt was still latched.

With the lights off and the curtains drawn in the main living area, I realized that a soft glow seeped out from under the spare bedroom door. The door was closed, though, and I was enough of a coward to refrain from knocking, telling myself I couldn’t bear to interrupt her after the way I’d acted.

But the truth was, I was just a coward, afraid to see the pain in her eyes. The pain I’d caused.

Instead, I had a shower, scalding my skin with the hottest water I could handle, punishment for my outburst. I changed into a t-shirt and drawstring pajama pants. I pulled the door open, letting steam waft out into the living room, but I didn’t leave the tiny room.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my cologne on the counter. Head tilted, my eyebrows arched as I stared at the matte black bottle. A slow, mischievous smirk pulled at my lips, and I reached for it, let the cap fall into my hand, and sprayed it once before I put it back and retreated from the room.

It occurred to me to leave Hailey alone. Maybe she was just as angry at me as I’d seemed at her. Maybe she wanted time away from me. I wouldn’t blame her after the way I treated her. But I found myself drawn to her door anyway, my hand pressed flat against it. Leaning in, the lacquered smoothness of the door cold against my ear, I heard nothing.

Shit, she’s already asleep. The thought that she may have closed her eyes with her last thought being that I was pissed off at her sunk in my stomach like lead. Sighing, I pushed myself away from the door. As I did so, a faint squeak sounded, the hinges creaking against my weight. It may as well have been a bomb going off in the stark contrast of the silence. I sucked in a breath, holding it.

“Alex?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling like I’d been caught in the act of something, then turned the doorknob. I was met with only darkness. “Hey, sorry. I wasn’t sure if you were awake or not. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

The bedside lamp clicked on, illuminating the room in a dim, yellow light. There were light creases on the side of Hailey’s face where she’d laid on her side, but her eyes were bright and alert. She hadn’t been sleeping. “You’re not. I just heard a sound. Wanted to make sure it was you.”

“Just me,” I confirmed. An awkward silence fell. “Hailey, I—”

“It’s okay,” she cut in, then smiled, crooked and half-hearted. “You’re right, I think.” She pushed herself up into a sitting position, and the blankets fell down around her. “I should have more faith in you, especially after everything you’ve put yourself through for me. I should have more faith in people, in general.”

“Not necessarily,” I countered, swinging the door open. I crossed the floor and chose a spot to sit on the edge of the bed beside her. “You don’t really know me, and it’s good to be cautious. Trusting easily is just as dangerous as not trusting at all.”

“Spoken like a true cynic.” Her lips quirked up.

“It takes one to know one.”

She chuckled under her breath, nodding. “I’m sorry, anyway.”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry about.”

“I made you angry when—”

“You didn’t make me angry, Hailey,” I explained as my hands came up to run through my hair, still damp from the shower. “You make me crazy, and you scare the hell out of me, but you don’t make me angry.”

Her mouth hung open, and in any other context I’d have probably laughed.

“I scare you?” she exclaimed. “But why?”

“I’m not scared of you,” I tried to explain. “I’m scared of losing you.”

Those five words may as well have been ammunition, bullets sent straight through my own chest. I hadn’t consciously decided to confess to her, but part of me had also been mentally aching to admit it.

“Alex…”

“If you tell me that it’s a very real possibility again…”

“I won’t say that.” She surprised me by sliding her hand across the comforter and squeezing my own. “But I don’t think you realize that I’m just as terrified that something’s going to happen to you.”

Her hand burned against mine, skin on skin, and I couldn’t look away from it. “I’d rather it be me than you, Hailey.”

“I wouldn’t.” Her voice matched mine, hoarse and wavering.

“You’ve been through enough.”

“That’s not your call to make,” she replied, ducking her head to catch my attention. “I don’t know why you’d put yourself in that situation.”

“It’s my job, Hailey.” Our eyes locked. “To protect you.”

“Your job,” she repeated. “You’re putting yourself in danger, playing the role of my own personal bodyguard, and risking your career, and you’re telling me it’s in the name of your job. If that’s it, it doesn’t make any sense.”

She was goading me, pushing me with each word she uttered. It was hard to concentrate through the heat that emanated from her hand into mine. “I don’t think you understand.”

“Then, you better make me understand. Because I want the truth, Alex.” She leaned closer, forcing me to focus on her instead of diverting my gaze to the bed, suddenly glaringly aware of our proximity. “If it’s only about saving me, because you think I’m some damsel in distress, because you’ve got some kind of hero complex—”

I dove forward and crashed my mouth against hers, faintly aware of the muffled gasp that died somewhere between where she ended and I began.

That’s what this was about. Not some fucking hero complex, or the need to save anyone. I didn’t just want to save Hailey, and it wasn’t about me wanting to do anything. This was about the way she kissed me back, the way she had her reservations about me but still, bit by bit, gave herself over to me, letting me see the Hailey she’d hidden from the world for years. I wanted her. I needed her. And, damn it, I wanted her to want and need me, too.

“Alex…”

My lips trailed down beyond her jaw, kissing the soft, tender skin, letting the heat of her flesh melt into me, capsizing my resolve. Her pulse beat wildly beneath my mouth, and the sound of my name on her lips—not a fearful demand for me to stop, but a desperate plea—only heightened my need to make her understand, to show her. “This isn’t about anything but me and you, Hailey.”

“Me and you,” she repeated in a breathy whisper. It may as well have been one word on her tongue, two pieces that fit together so perfectly that it was impossible to determine the division between them. Me and you.

Her hand released mine, her fingers grazing a fiery trail of tingles and goosebumps as they followed along the curve of my forearm.

I was on fire; I had to be. Heat swarmed me, burning me up from the inside out. Her touch ignited the embers that had been smoldering in me for days. “Jesus Christ.” I didn’t say it consciously, but it was muttered with enough pain that Hailey’s eyes snapped open again.

“Are you okay?”

Her hands were on my arms—not holding me at a distance, but keeping me within reach—and my own fingers had become entwined in the hem of her shirt. I hadn’t even realized I’d reached out for her.

“I’m okay, if you are,” I breathed, convinced that my heart might explode. “But I’m losing my mind over here, Hailey.”

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine again, tenderly, shocking me with the softness of it in comparison to the crazed feverishness I’d offered her only moments before. Then, she pressed her forehead to mine, eyes shut, breathing me in. “I’m okay, as long as your mind is the only thing you’re losing. I mean it, Alex, I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” I promised her. “You’ve got me. All of me.”

Hailey took a deep breath in, and her hands came up around my neck, hugging me to her. Her silence and tight grip on me sent a shiver of worry down my spine. I feared that I’d crossed a line, scared her. But, she’d asked for the truth, and I’d given it.

“Hey…” I began.

She cut me off. “My God, do you have any idea how good you smell?” She pulled back, letting her arms linger. Her fingers softly traced the curve of the back of my neck.

“You and that goddamn cologne,” I chuckled.

Her eyes narrowed, glinting with humor. “What? I never said anything—”

“You didn’t put the cap back on properly,” I smirked. “I’m a cop, I notice these things.”

“Don’t sound so satisfied with yourself.”

I’m sure I did a poor job of hiding my amusement. “C’mon, it’s funny. I like that you like it.”

A rosy blush crept into her cheeks, and I could feel the palm of her hand pressed delicately at the base of my skull. I quite liked that, too.

“I’m sorry,” she said in a hushed voice. “For slapping you yesterday.” One hand appeared in my peripheral vision, and her thumb stroked my jaw where her opened hand had struck me the day before.

She sat cross-legged, her legs still tucked under the covers, and I was turned to face her, one leg curled up in front of me on the bed while the other stayed planted securely on the floor.

“After the way I just kissed you, you’re still thinking about yesterday. I’m definitely doing something wrong here.”

“No—” She shook her head, turning redder. “I just wanted you—”

My finger pressed gently against her mouth. “It’s the last thing you should be thinking about.”

Her eyes met mine. Slowly, I pulled my hand away. “Remind me what I should be thinking about, then,” she breathed.

Crookedly, I grinned. Coy, I thought. If that isn’t an adorable expression on her pretty face, I don’t know what is. “We’re playing a dangerous game here, Hailey.”

“It’s not a game.” Her thumb followed along the curve of my cheekbone, and I sighed. “You said I’ve got you. All of you,” she reminded me.

“So, you do remember.”

“I do.” She nodded. “And that’s what I want, Alex. All of you. Because you’ve got all of me, too.”

Something broke inside me, a wall of crumbling self-preservation and defenses. If this was what falling was like, falling for someone, careening over that edge…

To hell with it. Let me fall.