Chapter 7.
For the next three weeks Lena spend most of her days working at Gabriel’s company and nights in his bed. She put everything in her life on hold and enjoyed the present. During the time together, he took her to an art exhibit, dinners, walks... One of many advantages of a crowded New York City lied in the fact that they could be together without worrying someone would see them. He obviously enjoyed her company but sometimes she wondered if he did all those small compromises just to accommodate her and make it easier.
It was Thursday night and Lena had just finished an analysis Charlotte asked her to do, ready to leave the office for the day. Her phone buzzed. It was a text from Gabriel.
“I have a thing tomorrow night. A charity event. Care to be my date?”
“Hmm… how posh would I have to dress? On scale from one to ten,” she quickly typed.
“Eleven.”
“Dammit. I’m not sure my fairy godmother will make the dress by tomorrow.” It was past 7 PM and therefore too late to go shopping. Buying a dress that was affordable, classy and without needed adjustments was a mission that would require several hours of shopping. And Lena didn’t have that time.
“I don’t know about your fairy godmother, but your fairy man will wait for you outside the building in 20 min. Let me make a few more calls first.”
“You sew?”
“Fairy men don’t sew. They do magic. Just be outside in 20 min.”
Lena was puzzled but intrigued. He was up to something.
Twenty minutes later, she jumped in his car checking if anybody saw her do it. Then she turned to him and her heart skipped a beat. These suits looked so damn sexy on him.
“Ready?” He leaned forward and kissed her.
“Where are you taking me?”
“You’ll see,” he replied mysteriously.
Fifteen minutes later, Gabriel parked in front of a boutique that Lena heard off but never went inside because it was over the top expensive.
“What is this?” She was confused.
“We’re getting you a dress for tomorrow. I made some calls and we can stay here for as long as we want,” he calmly explained.
“What? No, no. Not here Gabriel. I can’t afford this.” Lena was flattered but started to panic. With the money she sent to her parents, there wasn’t much left for extravagant clothes.
“But I can. You are doing me a favor for accompanying me tomorrow. So let me do this for you.” He tried to disarm her but Lena’s resistance was stronger. She refused to be like those gold diggers who let their sugar daddies buy them jewelry and clothes.
“No Gabriel. You will not buy me clothes,” she defiantly replied.
“Why not?” Now he was confused. A woman rejecting that kind of offer could only be in high fever or insane.
“I’m not like that,” she whispered sinking in her seat.
“It’s only a dress Lena.” He was persistent.
“No, it’s not. Buying me dinner is one thing, although the next one is definitely on me, but buying me clothes, in addition to our ‘just sex’ policy makes me look like a gold digger. Plus, I didn’t accept mercy even when I was hungry and walked to school wearing shoes with holes in it, so I’m not doing it now either.” Words had just escaped Lena and she looked away.
Gabriel didn’t know which part of her confession shook him more- the fact that she thought of herself as a gold digger or that she was once hungry.
“Lena.” He carefully placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Look at me,” he said.
“You are not a gold digger. I may not know you enough but I know that much.”
Lena closed her eyes.
“I didn’t know about your past. Is that why you helped that homeless woman in front of hotel the other day?”
“How did you...?” Muscles in her face tightened.
“I went after you. To give you the talk about responsibility.” Gabriel exhaled and continued,
“And then I saw you. I felt like was intruding and I quickly went back before you caught me spying.”
Lena couldn’t believe her ears. Of all the people in the world, he was the one who had to witness that.
“You shouldn’t have seen that.” She placed her palms on her cheeks feeling uncomfortable.
“I’m glad I did.” Gabriel whispered. That act of hers brought them together.
“Then you understand, right? I know that it’s a dress we’re talking about and that your intentions are good but I...”
“Lena” Gabriel put his finger on her lips hushing her. “I never meant to offend you. But as you say, it’s only a dress. And I don’t want to go alone to that gala. So let’s find the cheapest dress they have and afterwards you can do with it whatever you want. You sell it and give the money to the charity. How does that sound?” He suggested half-jokingly while trying to reason her.
Lena seemed to be thinking about the proposition. Maybe she did exaggerate a bit but she needed to make sure he knew this wasn’t easy for her.
“Deal.” A smile appeared at a corner of her lips.
Gabriel let out a sigh of relief.
“So, when we return from the gala I won’t be able to tear it from you?” He leaned to her and licked her earlobe.
“Nope. Unless you really plan to learn how to sew,” she grinned.
“Party-breaker.” Pretending to sulk, he unfastened his seat belt and got out of the car.
A few minutes later, sitting in a comfortable chair in front of a dressing room he waited for Lena to show up behind the curtain. A sales assistant helped her select a few dresses and she went on to try them.
This time, Gabriel was no help at all. Every time Lena would come out wearing a different dress, he was left out of breath. Strapless, short, long, tight, flowy… Lena looked perfect in every one of them. And he wanted to make love to her so bad he kept shifting in his chair trying to ease the pressure in his trousers.
“Ok, Gabriel. You are really not helping here.” Lena was exhausted after trying on the sixth dress.
“Sorry, but you could wear a plastic bag and I would still knock you down right here on the floor and do you things.” He flashed a wicked look.
“Gabriel!” Lena snapped looking around if the sales assistant heard him.
“Don’t worry; she went to get another dress,” he grinned and got up from his seat.
“I want you so bad.” He pulled her in his arms and she felt how hard he was.
Sales assistant came back and they both blurted at the same time,
“We’ll take this one,” referring to long crimson red strapless dress, narrowed at the waist and flowy under it.
“Let’s go home now.” Gabriel mumbled in her ear and sent the wave of anticipation through her.
*
Gabriel was about to pick up Lena and she was excited and anxious at the same time. She attended a couple of important events and dinners but this was different. The wealthiest and most powerful New Yorkers would attend and she didn’t want to embarrass Gabriel.
The dress they selected fitted her perfectly. Tucking a stranded lock of hair back into a low bun, she checked the time and was about to put her phone in a clutch bag when it vibrated. It was her mom.
“Hey mom,” she answered.
“Hey sweetie. Are you home?” Her mom asked.
Lately, she talked to her mom only on her way from work or during lunch break because Gabriel occupied the rest of her time. She didn’t tell her she was seeing someone. That would require a lot of explaining and she was afraid her mom would misunderstand.
“I’m about to go out. Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine. I just wanted to talk to you. You are always in a hurry lately.”
“Well, you are the one who pushed me to go out more.” Lena tried to justify herself.
“That’s true. Although, your constant absence and excuses remind me of the times your dad and I started dating. So, tell me, is my little girl in love?” Her mom cunningly asked.
Lena expected her mom to ask something like that but her choice of words made her body stiff.
In love. That was not the part of a deal she and Gabriel made. However, her mind and heart clenched on mom’s words and wouldn’t let go.
During the past few weeks, she tried to discard all the signs and told herself it was only lust. However, the feeling of emptiness when they were apart, the fluttering in her stomach when he would smile at her… She wasn’t in love with him, she loved him. She loved the way he would run fingers through his hair when he was nervous and the way he would pour cold water in his tea because he hated to wait for it to cool down itself. She loved all about him. And that could be a problem.
“Honey, are you there?” Her mom’s voice took her back to reality.
“I’m here. But I have to go. We’ll talk later. Love you.” Lena quickly hung up.
The next thing she heard was knocking on the door and she jumped off the sofa. It was him.
Taking a deep breath, she opened the door. Gabriel stood there, in a black tuxedo, looking dapper with his dark hair perfectly combed.
“Hi,” she breathed out.
“Hey beautiful.” Gabriel was stunned. He saw that dress yesterday but it looked even better on Lena. However, her usually glowing eyes seemed a little dimmed and he hoped nothing bad happened.
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m just a little anxious.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll do fine. Plus, I’ll be right there.” Putting her arms around her waist, he touched her lips with his. He liked the fact she never wore lipstick but the sweet taste of coconut balm she used only left him wanting more. Yet, something was different this time and he attributed it to her anxiety.
When they arrived at the gala, Gabriel felt Lena’s hand clenching his. He gave her a reassuring smile and they slowly fused with the mass. He usually attended these events alone or accompanied by Charlotte so he knew there would be questions hanging in the air. Not so subtle looks towards Lena made her even more uncomfortable judging by the way she held onto him, so he led her to the bar.
Handing her a glass of champagne, he whispered,
“I thought you might need it.”
“Inject it directly into my vein please.” Lena tried to make a joke.
Gabriel smiled and was about to say something when he felt someone’s hand on his elbow. Richard Capresi, a banker Gabriel collaborated with came to say hello, introducing him and Lena to his wife Julia. Richard was tall and skinny, just like his wife and they both appeared to be snobs but Lena expected nothing less.
“Isn’t this amazing?” Julia asked Lena referring to the event.
“I just wish they skip the charity part. It always upsets me and I can’t think straight for at least an hour,” the woman added.
Lena thought she heard wrong but then realized Julia was serious.
“Oh. Well, I bet they wish there’s no need to raise the money.” Lena couldn’t help herself. Then she continued,
“By the way, do you know the purpose of all this? They are raising funds for children’s oncology ward. Considering the heaviness of the problem, and my personal estimation, you should be upset for at least an hour and a half, no?” Lena faked a polite smile.
Julia nervously smiled back as if she didn’t understand what Lena meant.
Almost choking on his champagne, Gabriel squeezed Lena’s hand and in effort to salvage the situation he stated,
“Unfortunately, there’s no point in upsetting but thankfully we can help financially. And we have always been generous at that, weren’t we?” He patted Richard’s shoulder.
“Absolutely. Tax deductions are just another bright side of it.” Richard winked.
Gabriel smiled at the pair.
“Excuse us now. The lady needs another drink.” Gabriel gently pushed Lena away from the Capresis’.
“I’m sorry. What I was thinking?” Lena put her hands on her temples when they left their sight.
Gabriel was quiet but he looked amused.
“Actually, I enjoyed every moment of it. I hate that couple,” he admitted.
“You see, there are two kinds of people here. Ninety percent of them make money and help people only to be able to brag about it. The other ten percent make money, help people and keep their mouth shut. However, they all work together or cross their paths at one time or another. So having their mouth shut is what helps the smaller percentage of them keep making money. And therefore, helping.”
“I guess you are among the ten percent.” Lena said softly.
“I may have no friends here but I try not to make enemies either. I don’t want to waste my time. I’ve seen some of the titans present here clash, and it’s exhausting, not to mention destructive. And I have people depending on me.” Gabriel wasn’t upset at Lena. On the contrary, he envied her ability to say her opinion at loud, without hard consequences.
Charlotte was right. Lena does think with her heart. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. Although it was a hanging threat above his head.
“I get it. I could have handled it better.” Lena nervously intertwined her fingers.
She knew the whole story behind Gabriel’s success. Charlotte told her in confidence. His father was in the ninety percent, no doubt, trying to destroy his own son. And she understood why he had to toughen and shut down his emotions. Those people look like they could eat the weak.
“Seaborne! Where have you been hiding lately?” Preston Blakely, a media mogul and Gabriel’s old acquaintance yelled but then noticed Lena and added,
“Correction- where have you been hiding this creature?” he asked nonchalantly kissing Lena’s hand.
“Away from you.” Gabriel laughed and offered him his hand when Preston finally let go of Lena’s.
“Well, I can’t blame you”.
Preston’s cocky behavior didn’t really suit his appearance, Lena thought. He was short and overweight. However, he was outrageously rich and therefore, surrounded with beautiful women.
Feeling uncomfortable in his company even with Gabriel next to her, Lena excused herself and went to the ladies room.
She took her time because she didn’t feel like talking to Preston. None of these people were interested in the reason they were all there. When Gabriel told her about it, she did her research and genuinely cared. But for most of these people, “charity” meant being able to show off.
Thankfully, there were people like Gabriel and Charlotte.
Slowly approaching Gabriel, she overheard the conversation between him and Preston.
“So, where did you find that girl of yours? Could it be that the great Gabriel Seaborne finally fell for a woman?”
“Lena is a beautiful distraction. That’s it.” Gabriel seemed to laugh in entertainment.
“Ah, yes. They are all disposable, aren’t they?” Preston didn’t even try to lower his voice.
Lena didn’t stay to hear Gabriel reply. Overpowered by sudden nausea, she turned away and ran outside to get some air.
Explaining himself to someone like Preston was the last thing on Gabriel’s mind. His relationships weren’t any of Preston’s business. He told him what he wanted to hear and shook him off.
His and Lena’s arrangement was special. It didn’t involve love but it definitely wasn’t just sex. That was something he unwillingly came to term some time ago. On some level, he cared about her.
Realizing she’d been gone for a while, he went to find her. He couldn’t spot her anywhere and an inexplicable fear crawled into him.
“Hey Seaborne, you couldn’t have found yourself a better date for the night.” He heard someone behind. It was Brian Weatherly, one of the organizer of the gala.
“I think she will raise more funds than the event itself.” Brian seemed amazed.
“What do you mean?” Gabriel wasn’t sure if they are talking about the same person.
“I’ve just ran into her on the balcony. She is a wonderful young lady. And she actually knows something about the theme of the event. She spoke so fiercely about it that I swear I saw some of the men around hypnotized, pulling out their checkbooks.”
“Ermm, yeah, that’s Lena.” Gabriel looked proud but edgy because there was still no sign of her.
“Oh, she’s right there at the balcony. Probably trying to escape the old Moskowitz.” Brian pointed in their direction.
“Excuse me.” Gabriel muttered to Brian and rushed to get her.
Lena was really there, with her back facing him, politely listening to Mr. Moskowitz trying to charm her. Gabriel knew she saw right through him. The old man was one of the rare good people he met and he had utmost respect for him.
“Lena.” Gabriel came to her from the back and felt her stiffen.
“I thought I lost you,” he added.
“You did.” Lena replied.
“Mr. Moskowitz here has won me over.” She winked to the man.
Gabriel knew how to recognize a joke but he noticed something was off.
“Oh, I wish that was true.” Mr. Moskowitz theatrically touched his heart and smiled to Lena.
“But I must leave you now. I hope you will enjoy the rest of the evening.” He withdrew to mingle with other guests.
“Are you okay?” Gabriel asked Lena.
“Yeah, it’s just… so many different people and new findings. It’s a lot to take in.” She shrugged her shoulders feeling tired.
When she heard him talking to Preston, she desperately wanted to get out and run home, but Mr. Wheatley grabbed her attention. And then others came and she felt trapped.
Even when Gabriel found her, more guests came to talk and they weren’t alone for the rest of the night.
It was after midnight when Gabriel escorted Lena to the car and collapsed at the driver seat.
“Finally,” he exhaled. “Let’s go home.”
Lena leaned back and nodded.
“Something is wrong,” was all Gabriel could think about all the way home. He refused to think further and make theories. He will find out soon enough.
When he closed the apartment door behind them, he turned to Lena. Not saying anything, he pulled her in his arms and kissed her.
“I need you.” There was something lonely and urging about the way he said it.
Lena’s initial hesitation dispersed and she wrapped herself around him.
“I need you too.”
Soft kiss deepened into hungrier and Gabriel lifted Lena in his arms and took her to his bedroom. Her fingers worked on unbuttoning his shirt and when she slipped her hand inside and touched the muscles on his chests, the craving he felt only magnified. He promised to keep her dress intact and that was challenging enough because he wanted to rip it off her and devour her body.
But Lena was faster. She reached for his trousers, got them off him and pushed him to the bed. Taken aback, he watched as she climbed on top of him, pointing his sex onto hers and sucking him in. Gabriel stopped his breath as he felt her body tighten around him. Letting her dictate the pace this time, he cupped her perfectly shaped breasts with his hands and started to massage her nipples in circles as she moaned in pleasure. Lena wanted to be aware of every second, every expression on his face. She wanted to be in control at least for a little while. Soaking it all in, pushing himself harder on him, she finally let go and got lost in the oblivion.
Seeing Lena’s body twitch in pleasure, Gabriel dropped the last ounce of self-control, turned her around in one swift move and thrusted one more time into her, coming so intensely he screamed her name and then crashed on her.
Aware of his weight he tried to pull back, but heard her begging.
“Not yet. Not just yet…”
They stayed joined for a few more minutes, until their breathing slowed down.
“I can’t get enough of you.” Gabriel gently kissed her shoulder as he rolled off her, placing his arm under her head and pulling her to his chest.
As she laid there, Lena stared at the ceiling.
“You are amazing, do you know that?” He blissfully gasped.
“And disposable, right?” It wasn't until those words came out that Lena realized what she’d just started. There was no going back.
Hearing what she said, Gabriel froze. She heard his conversation with Preston.
“Lena?”
“Don’t worry. It felt a little heart-stabbing, but I know you didn’t mean it.” Lena slowly moved away from him, sat straight on the edge of the bed turning her back on him and wrapped the sheet around her body.
“I know you don’t think of me that way,” she added.
Gabriel knew he should feel relieved but he didn’t.
“I tried to get rid of Preston. I would never…”
“I know. It’s not just that... You see, today I was faced with a simple question,” she paused and then calmly added,
“Am I in love?” The words were out. Gabriel’s face was calm but inside, he felt like he was caught on fire.
With caution in his voice, he asked,
“And what was your answer?”
“I didn’t know. I couldn’t say it at loud...,” she whispered.
“No, no, no,” echoed in Gabriel head.
“Lena... Don’t do that.” Now he sat straight on his side of the bed, putting his hands on the back of his neck and bending his head to his knees.
“Tell me one thing Gabriel. Could you ever feel that? Love?”
“Don’t ask me that. I told you Lena… I don’t even know what that is.” Gabriel sounded desperate, furious even. For the first time in his life he wished he could lie to her, tell her whatever she wanted to hear just to stop this torture.
“Yeah, I kind of knew the answer. But I had to ask.”
“Lena, look at me.” Gabriel jumped and came around to her side of the bed, sitting next to her and grabbing her wrists.
“We have a great thing going here. We have fun, we enjoy each other. And I care about you.” His eyes were pleading.
“But I love you Gabriel. And I’m helpless about it. Can you comprehend that?”
Gabriel suddenly let go of her hands.
“Don’t worry. It’s not contagious.” Lena laughed cynically.
It sounded cruel but his reaction was worse and Gabriel knew it.
“It’s just...” Closing his eyes and breathing out, he calmly stated, “Try Lena. Just try. I’ll do anything. Just don’t ask me to love you. I don’t want to hurt you.”
If there was a slightest hope hidden in the farthest corner of Lena’s heart, Gabriel crushed it at that very instant.
“I want to be with you,” he whispered.
He leaned to her, touching her forehead with his.
“Tell me you are still here.” Gabriel glanced her upper lip with his.
“Tell me you are not going anywhere.” The despair in his own voice frightened him. He was begging her not to love him so he could be with her.
“I’m here.” Exhaling, Lena closed her eyes, feeling defeated. There were two possible paths in front of her and neither included his love. So she chose to take the one which at least included his presence.
Gabriel heard her words but they weren’t enough. He had to make sure she was staying. Like an animal marking its territory, he kissed her roughly, raiding her mouth and pushed her on the bed. Not separating from her, he unwrapped the sheet around her body and as she dug her nails in his back, he thrust himself into her. There was no closeness in their actions, no tenderness. Just pure rawness, a dark primal need to possess each other. As they reached the climax together, Lena felt her body fall apart.
Afterwards, as she lay beside him, there was a part of her body that didn’t come back together. It was her heart. It felt cracked. She closed her eyes, hoping it will fix itself eventually.