When I first came to Vegas, it was to earn some big money to put away to save for my plans of running my own shop. A bookstore and coffee shop, to be exact. That’s what all my work had gone towards.

But a brief stopover in the glittering, neon city, became a long stay.

My first hope of romance didn’t go so well. One night of passion ended there. A one-night-stand.

The money I make from dancing here is too good to pass up. Far too good when I’ve got a kid to worry about now too. Over four years old, my little Cierra is a blessing. I didn’t get my store, and probably never will at this rate of trying to prepare for her future, but she’s precious to me. I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

A loud bang disturbs us as Cierra and I play in the living room.

“Where’s that satchel of money I left on the counter?!” bellows John, my ex-boyfriend.

“You took it last night, said you had to deposit it, remember?” I call back. John’s always got money laying around. He tells me he’s a rich guy, but honestly, it goes faster than it comes. And if not for me, he’d never remember where it went.

“Shit, that’s right,” he said, running his fingers back through his hair.

He has his issues, but he doesn’t mistreat Cierra, and he helps out with rent most of the time. She’s my number one priority these days, so I haven’t kicked him out since we broke up. But every time he has another outburst, I wonder if it isn’t time for us to go our separate ways completely.

“Not in front of Cierra,” I say with a sigh.

“Oh, yeah yeah,” he says, looking more distracted than usual. He’s a high-strung guy. And honestly I should’ve kicked him out when we broke up, months ago. In the beginning we split bills, but now it mostly falls to me, despite his claims of wealth. I put up with it, thinking it’d be temporary, but his issues have grown worse. He has a temper on top of everything else.

He’s never hit me, but it’s not the image of a man I want Cierra to grow up with.

I guess the only real blessing is I’ve never let her believe that John is her dad. I never wanted to lie to her, not about anything, and so I always insisted she called him John instead of Dad, much to John’s annoyance.

I haven’t told her who her dad was, not really. But when she was a baby, I’d tell her about how I’d fallen in love with Prince Charming. Love at first sight.

And that his name was Viktor.

But she doesn’t know that’s her dad. She’s too young anyways, but I know eventually, those questions will come. Especially once she gets to school, she’ll start asking questions fast about who her daddy is. I both dread and look forward to it, because as much as my heart aches with the memory, I love talking about Viktor.

About how he made me feel complete for just a few hours. About how being with him was the best thing I ever did, because it brought her into my life, and how the only regret I have is that I never saw him again.

That’s one of the many reasons why John and I didn’t work out, his violent temper aside. I was waiting for a guy who’s stood me up for five long years. I guess he just got cold feet. Our first — and only — time together was intense, and I thought he was up for it, but I never heard from him again.

It’s the type of heartbreak that few people know.

Love at first sight, never to see him again.

There’s a lesson for her to learn there too: love can let you down. But I want her to know that my love — her mother’s love — will never fail her, first. So that’s why I wait.

“Alright, I gotta head out,” John says, looking more exasperated than usual even. I’ve never pried into his business, but these days it’s getting harder and harder to even imagine what it is he does. In this city, it could be anything, and I start seriously thinking about asking one of the other girls at the club if they’d like to split rent with me.

“Alright, I’ll put some supper in the fridge for you,” I call out as he goes. I’m too good to that man, for all the trouble he puts me through.

“Oh, one thing,” John says, poking his head back in through the door. “If anyone comes looking for me… you don’t know where I am,” he says.

“That’s easy, I never know where you are,” I respond, a bit confused. But then it strikes me, how nervous he’s acting, and the strange request. “Wait, what’s going on?” I ask, suddenly getting a big afraid.

“Nothing. None of your business, I gotta go,” he says, rushing off again, leaving me with a million questions and a very bad feeling in my gut.