The next morning, Livvie awoke alone again. A sense of dread consumed her like never before. She looked at her night table to see if he had left a note as he had yesterday, but there wasn’t one. Then she heard him speaking on his cell in the kitchen, and she sighed with relief. She didn’t know what she would do if he decided to leave her today. After she had told him about her past, it felt as if the walls around her heart had melted. She needed a day or so to build those walls back up.

She got out of bed, brushed her teeth, ran a comb through her hair, and threw on a long pink sweatshirt that fell to the middle of her thighs. She was so excited to see Drake, she practically ran to him. And then she stopped. He was speaking on his cellphone in her kitchen, fully dressed, his suitcase sitting on the floor beside him. Wow, she must have slept soundly not to have heard him packing. And then her heart clenched. Her intuition had been right. Something was wrong.

When Drake saw her, he immediately ended the call and walked toward her. She looked into his eyes, searching for answers. All she saw was regret.

“Hey, beautiful.” Drake kissed her on the cheek, which was all the confirmation she needed.

“What’s going on, Drake?”

He smiled softly, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Mr. Birkshire called and said I’m needed at the vineyard.”

“Of course,” Livvie whispered.

“Don’t look so sad, my little raffle winner.” Drake grabbed a bottle of water from her fridge.

Livvie stood there trying to find the protective walls to place around her heart again, but she couldn’t. She wasn’t the same naïve girl who had found Liam cheating, nor was she the lost woman she had been with Zach. She was a survivor. Now she had to figure out how to survive without Drake Morganthal.

“Is that the real reason you’re leaving?”

Drake rolled his suitcase into her living room and turned back to her, his eyes changing from warm to cold and distant.

“I’m not Liam or Zach, but I will be if I stay here any longer.”

“What do you mean?” She needed him to spell it out.

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t want a long-term relationship, and this has already become more complicated than anything I’ve had in the past.” He was shutting her out. She could feel it.

“Please don’t leave.” Her voice grew louder.

“I have a vineyard to run.” Drake groaned and then came over to her. He grabbed her shoulders and then dropped his hands. Remaining silent, he studied her…although it felt as if he was memorizing her. And then he bent down and kissed her on the forehead. “You deserve a man who wants to give you a real relationship. Our intimacy last night made me realize I’m no better than Liam or Zach. By staying, I’m leading you on, knowing full well I can’t give you what you want.”

Drake looked her straight in the eye, and she let him. She wanted him to see how much his leaving was affecting her. He was going to leave, anyway, so there was no need to hide the new scars that had formed. She never should have slept with him last night, but it didn’t matter. He would have left her, eventually. It was probably better that her actions pushed things along.

“Olivia, all I’m giving you is that look in your eye. The one my mom had. And I swore to never do that to a woman, but I’m doing it to you now—to the only woman I’ve ever cared about. I accused Zach of giving you the same look. That doesn’t feel good to me. I’m not your hero, Olivia. Next time you find a man, make sure he treats you like a queen. Never settle for less.” Drake walked back to his suitcase and rolled it to the front door, which was already open.

His words had hurt her deeply, and she chose not to respond. She could see a limo waiting out front. If she hadn’t woken up in time and run into the kitchen, would he have even said goodbye? But she chose not to ask that question because it didn’t matter. He had made up his mind, and he was leaving…for good this time. She had no choice but to let him go.

“Goodbye, Drake. Take care of yourself.” She swallowed hard.

Drake had one foot out the door, and then he paused. He acknowledged her by nodding, but he never turned around. She wished she could see his face one more time. She watched Mr. Birkshire help him into the limo. Drake closed the car door without even glancing her way. But as Mr. Birkshire opened the trunk to throw in the luggage, he did. And she could see the look of compassion all the way from here. She waved to him and then watched the limo drive away. Then she slid down her door, and when she reached the floor, she sobbed, not caring if the whole world saw.

Drake was wrong. He was worse than Liam and Zach combined. He was a coward.

Minutes later, Livvie crawled to her living room and closed her front door with her foot. Her cellphone was ringing like crazy. With trembling fingers, she grabbed it from the coffee table. Her heart sank when she saw it wasn’t Carly. Livvie needed her friend right now more than ever. She knew there was no way it would be Drake. Instead, she saw a number she didn’t recognize. Maybe it was for a new job? She forced herself to answer even though she felt like crap.

“This is Livvie.”

There was a pause.

“Hello?” She was about to hang up until she heard a male’s voice.

“Hi, Livvie. It’s Stephan Brenson, from lunch at Morganthal Winery.”

Livvie didn’t want to deal with another man right now, but she couldn’t be rude. “Hi, Stephan. Of course I remember you.”

“Is this a bad time?” Stephan asked.

Yes, it’s a really bad time. “No, it’s a perfect time. How are you?”

“I’m great. Hey, I just wanted to know what the status is with you and Drake. I don’t mean to pry, but I’ve been in LA for a super early meeting. I have about an hour to kill before I leave for the airport, so I wanted to know if I could stop by your house, or if you want to meet me somewhere?”

Livvie inhaled. “Okay.”

Stephan laughed. “Okay to seeing me, or is that the status between you and Drake? I don’t want to come see you if you’re with him. I hope you understand.”

He was a good guy. How could she turn down one of those when they were so rare?

“I’m not with Drake.” Livvie paused. Did she want to meet Stephan somewhere in public or have him come here? Then she sighed. She was in no condition to drive. “Why don’t you come to my house?”

“Great. Text me your address, and I’ll be there as soon as I can. Does that sound okay?”

Livvie looked down at her pink sweatshirt. She needed to get dressed, but it wouldn’t take her long.

“Perfect. See you soon.”

They hung up, and she texted him her address. She quickly threw on black skinny jeans and a loose black tank top. It was the best she could do. She put on a lot of under-eye concealer, as her eyes were a mess from crying.

Minutes later, Stephan arrived in a limo, just as Drake had done.

“Hey, Stephan.” She forced herself to smile and give him a hug. It wasn’t easy.

He hugged her back tightly. But these weren’t Drake’s arms. “Hi, beautiful.”

He waved at the limo driver and then walked past her into her living room. Livvie closed the door.

“Do you want a drink?”

“No. Sorry, I only have ten minutes. I found out I have another quick meeting before I get on my plane.”

Livvie was so relieved even though she shouldn’t be feeling this way. Stephan was the real deal, and Drake had proven he wasn’t. This time her smile was genuine.

“No problem at all. Sit.” She motioned for him to sit on the couch, and she sat on the chair.

“Since I don’t have a lot of time, I’ll cut to the chase.” Stephan took a deep breath.

Uh-oh, thought Livvie. There was no way she could handle a serious conversation right now. She’d lose it. She gripped the arms of the chair for support. Why did her life always feel as if she was on a rollercoaster?

“When we met, I felt a connection between us. I’d like to pursue that connection,” Stephan continued.

Livvie’s heartbeat went wild. She wasn’t ready for this. “But you live so far away.”

“But you come to New York sometimes to visit your family, right? I figured you can write your novel from anywhere, and I could fly you on my private plane whenever you want. We can figure out a way to make this work.”

She felt as if she was being strangled. Instead of answering him right away, she asked a different question. “How did you get my number?”

“I asked Mr. Birkshire for it before I left Drake’s house. So what do you say?”

Livvie inhaled deeply, needing some air. Her adrenaline was pumping. She had to be honest with him. There was a reason she had refused to take Stephan’s number to begin with.

“I’m not with Drake, Stephan.” She paused to calm her nerves. “But my heart is.”

Stephan’s face fell, and she hated herself for feeling as if she was forced to tell him all of this.

“Well then forget it. Or forget it for now. Thank you for your honesty. I appreciate it.” Stephan ran his hands through his hair. “I want you, but I want all of you. You’re all I’ve been thinking about since I met you. Your face, your smile, your beautiful body.” Stephan exhaled loudly. “You’re the type of woman I could imagine spending the rest of my life with. And I’m telling you all of this, even though you’re in love with Drake. I saw the two of you together. I saw your connection, but I also saw that we had one too. Just different.” He slapped his hands against his knees. “When your heart is free again, I’d like to explore that.”

“I’d like that, too,” Livvie said. “Please, don’t forget me.”

Stephan stood up to leave, so she stood, too.

“You turned me down that day after lunch, but I thought I’d try again. I have to go, but call me when or if you’re ever over Drake Morganthal.” Stephan walked away from her and opened the door. Before he left he turned around and looked at her.

“And Livvie, I believe Drake has real feelings for you, too. So don’t just stand there. Fight for him. Like I tried to do with you, but, unfortunately, you don’t feel for me yet what I feel for you. Your heart is preoccupied. I understand. But if he consumes your thoughts as you consume mine, then, please, do yourself a favor. Fight for him.”

“I’ve done that, Stephan. I’ve pretty much begged him.” Livvie hated telling Stephan the truth.

Stephan looked at her for a brief moment before responding. “When I met you at Drake’s lunch, I was attracted to you because I saw a woman who was being treated poorly and yet held her head up high. You were warm at that lunch. You spoke to everyone. You laughed when you wanted to cry, and you handled yourself with class and dignity. Most of all, I was drawn to your strength,” Stephan said. “If you truly begged Drake to be with you, then you just lost yourself for a moment. Find your strength again. Figure out where you got lost, and then fight for him. At that lunch, Drake wanted the same woman I wanted. Don’t allow Drake to take your power, especially since he hasn’t earned it. Once you have your power back, fight for him. You’ll have a much better chance at winning.” He didn’t say anything more. He looked at her for one more second and then turned back around and closed the door.

Stephan was right. Since Livvie came back from Napa, she hadn’t found the time to ground herself. Aside from writing, she needed a yoga class. Mostly, she needed to figure out who she was without the job drama and the men drama. She needed her best friend.

Livvie picked up her cellphone and called Carly. It went to voicemail again. Sitting back in the chair, she closed her eyes. She needed time to think.

 

* * * * *

 

Hours later, what Stephan had said was still running through Livvie’s mind. He thought she should fight for Drake once she was whole again.

With Liam, there’d been no point. He loved another woman. And with Zach, they wanted two different things. She wanted to be monogamous, and he didn’t. To top it off, he wasn’t in love with her. So no reason to fight there. But Drake had said he cared about her, and he had invested more in her than his other past relationships, although he refused to call it that. So it came down to whether or not she was willing to put her heart at risk and fight for him or not. Drake was wrong. She wasn’t looking for a hero. She was looking for real love. Livvie would have preferred to ask Carly her opinion, but Livvie needed to make this decision for herself. She picked up her cellphone and called the one person she never thought she would call in her life.

“Hi, Veronica, it’s Livvie. I need your help.” And as she took her leap of faith, she hoped and prayed it would not lead to more heartbreak. But even if it did, she’d learned that she had survived before, so she’d survive again. Most importantly, she needed to work on herself, and become strong again. She needed to get back to Livvie.