Chapter One

If the Roman Empire had “carpe diem,” I have “carpe David.”

And I finally have my chance—after waiting five years for this moment.

David Darling and I are on a business trip together in San Mateo. Although Sweet Darlings Inc.’s headquarters is in Sweetridge, Virginia, there are a few mission-critical app dev teams and a secondary marketing group in the Bay Area. Unfortunately, although we flew in together, we aren’t in the same hotel. It’s like there’s some invisible force trying to keep us separated.

Bitch.

But I’ll vanquish it. Good always triumphs over Evil.

“So. He’s in a suite on the fifteenth floor, right?” I confirm as I put on a lacy black bustier and work on the hooks. Black is David’s favorite color. He called it chic when we met on my first-year move-in day at UVA. Since then, black’s become the only color I wear.

“Um. Yes…” David’s new assistant Erin’s hesitant voice comes over the Bluetooth headset in my ear.

I pull fishnet stockings over my freshly waxed legs and secure them to the detachable garter belts. “Perfect. So, the room number?”

“I don’t know if that would be a good idea…” She clears her throat. “To give it out, I mean.”

“Erin. Pleeeeeeease. You know he’s bound to be…” I search for an acceptable word. Sad is sort of pedantic. I need something impactful, with a little oomph. Then it comes to me: “…desolate after his breakup.”

I sure as hell wasn’t. Practically danced the theme from Rocky when I found out. He and his skanky, leggy girlfriend finally ended their five-plus-year relationship last week. I would’ve heard about it sooner, but my best friend Jan isn’t working for him anymore. She moved to the app dev team immediately after Thanksgiving, and he went assistant-less until this month, when he finally found Erin.

I lower my voice and infuse it with sincere concern for his well-being. “I don’t want him to mope in his room.” I want him to bone me. And then immediately realize I’m the missing half of his soul.

Not that I’ll say that out loud to Erin, who’s already acting like she doesn’t want to do the right thing. If only Jan were still his assistant…! But I wouldn’t want her to go back to marketing. She’s happier and much more fulfilled in app dev, and I’m smart and quick enough to adjust.

“I don’t know…” Erin says again.

Argh!

I’m leaving tomorrow for Virginia while David’s staying another day, so I can’t afford to waste time with Erin’s waffling. If she really “doesn’t know,” she should just take my directives.

“Erin, listen. He looked really down during our flight. You know how guys get, with their shoulders drooping…sighing every so often for no reason,” I embellish. David spent the entire flight reviewing a PowerPoint presentation and napping four seats away from me, which proves that he isn’t at all hung up about his ex and therefore that now is the perfect time to make my move…before some other skanky, leggy somebody swoops in and snatches him away.

I put on a tiny black thong with a pale satin pink ribbon in front—just in case David wants me to keep the stockings on—then slip my feet into classy fuck-me heels. The pink is vivid against the black, so I think it looks chic rather than odd. Or maybe I should’ve gotten the one with a black ribbon just because… Well. David’s very partial to black, even though pink is my favorite.

“Really?” Erin says.

“Yes, really. You’re new, so you probably don’t know, but it’s pretty unusual for him to be like that. He’s always so…upbeat. You know what I mean?”

While Erin mumbles about being unsure, I adjust my boobs and study them critically in the mirror. God, they’re so small. It’s all the running, but I need an outlet for my daily stress. Hopefully the bra’s padding will help…but if not… Well. Maybe I’ll find a way to naturally grow my breasts. I’m not too keen on surgical methods because I heard they can deaden the sensation in your nipples, and seriously, what’s the point then?

My legs are toned from running, though. And my ass isn’t too terrible either. Ideally David will be a gam lover. It’s hard to tell because all his exes had huge frontal melons in addition to long, shapely limbs.

Inhaling deeply, I rearrange my unbound hair. It’s extra smooth and straight, like a black waterfall around my face. My eyes look smoky and my cheeks sculpted, thanks to the in-person makeup lessons with my bestie Michelle, who is an expert with stuff like this. The bright red lipstick is totally inspired. Michelle says it’s the best shade for seduction, since according to some recent surveys, men find red lips more attractive than non-red ones.

Finally happy with how I look, I pull out a large glossy black box with gold lettering that says “Sensual Surprise.” It’s a collection of sex toys. I figured David and I need something that’s uniquely our own, so why not start with virgin toys? I lift the lid and check the items inside. I couldn’t choose what I wanted—the whole point of a box set is to be adventurous and try something you might not otherwise. I’m not sure about the nipple clamps or paddle, but I can be flexible in the name of love. I close it and turn my attention back to Erin, since without her help, I’m not going anywhere.

“It’s just a room number,” I cajole her. “What do you think I’m going to do with it anyway, except to stop by and make sure he’s all right?” And break in the toys.

“Yeah… But maybe you should call him first?”

“He’s not answering.” I don’t tell her the marketing team in San Mateo took him out to dinner because their meeting was running late, and he never checks his phone during meetings. She’s still new. Plenty of time to learn stuff like that on her own. “It’s not a state secret. Even if it were, I already have the top security clearance. I’ve been working at Sweet Darlings Inc. for over six months, remember? I interned there for two summers, too.”

She exhales audibly, and I know she’s about to crack. “Okay…”

I fist-pump when she gives me the precious four-digit number.

David Daaaaarling. Here I come!