T he first detail I notice when I step foot into Wynter’s and Beck’s place is the living room is lacking furniture. Two of the sofa’s are missing, the end table is gone, and the walls are extremely bare .

“Where did all your stuff go?” I ask Willow as I peer around the room .

She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Beck… moved out .”

“What ? When? And why didn’t you tell me ?”

With a heavy sigh, she sinks onto the sofa. “A few months ago. And I didn’t tell you because it’s been pretty clear you’re dealing with your own shit.” She lowers her head into her hands and sucks in a shaky inhale .

I take a seat in the chair across from her, bouncing my knee up and down. “I’m going to kick Beck’s ass .”

When she lifts her gaze, her eyes are watery. “Why? It’s not his fault we broke up .”

“So you broke up with him?” Sadly, I’m not that surprised .

Before Beck and Willow got together, Beck was in love with Willow for years, but she had these no-dating rules, and it took the two of them forever to get together .

“Yeah, sort of.” She picks at her fingernails. “He doesn’t know .”

“ About what ?”

“About my name being on that list .”

“Is the reason… Is that why you broke up with him ?”

Pressing her lips together, she shrugs. “There was just so much shit going on, and I felt awful and sad all the time. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him what happened, and our relationship started to crumble. Eventually, we both agreed it’d be better if we didn’t live together. Since this is Beck’s house, I wanted to be the one that moved out, but you know how chivalrous Beck is, and before I could even start packing up my stuff, he moved half the furniture into the apartment above the garage and told me he was staying there. I tried to argue with him, but he said he wasn’t moving back in, so if I left, the house would end up being empty.” She shakes her head, mumbling, “He’s so stubborn sometimes .”

“Yeah, he is,” I agree. “I still can’t believe you guys aren’t together. Does anyone else know about it ?”

“I think Beck may have told Grey, which means he probably told Luna. But other than that, no one does .”

“But you guys still act like you’re together .”

“Beck pretends. I just avoid the subject altogether .”

I wish I could replay through the last couple of months and figure out how I missed this, but the sad truth is I’ve been too caught up in my own issues to notice what’s been going on in my friends’ lives .

Not anymore .

“I’m sorry you guys broke up.” I have a feeling one day they’ll be back together, though. At least if I have anything to do with it, they will. “Can I ask… Do you…” My initial instinct is to ask her why her name was on that list. But if I want to ask questions, I may have to start with my own story first. “You want to know why my name was on that list ?”

She nods. “Yes. It’s been driving me crazy since you said it .”

“Okay.” Air in. Air out. “I should warn you before I do that if I tell you the reason, it could drag you into a crazy mess. And it could be dangerous… The guys that I think put my name on that list… They’ve threatened to hurt me and the people I care about if I tell anyone about what happened to me .”

Willow closes her eyes and sucks in a breath. “I’m not too worried about that. My life is a mess already .”

My veins pulsate with fear .

“Keep your lips sealed .”

“Don’t utter a word .”

Shut the fuck up !

“You remember when I went out on a date with Travis Marilellie a couple of months ago?” I ask and Willow opens her eyes and nods. “Well, that date turned into an absolute nightmare.” The truth pours out of me and my heart rate quickens .

“Don’t utter a word .”

Shut up !

“I’m not even sure exactly what happened to me… At least not all the details…” A tear drips from my eye and I quickly swipe it away. “I think I was drugged and that’s why I can’t remember… But I do remember enough… To know I was…” Another breath. Another. Steady yourself, Wynter. You can do this. “I was raped several times. I can’t remember all of their faces… But I can hear their voices—that part is crystal clear.” A few more tears drip down my cheeks, but I don’t bother wiping them away. “The guys who hurt me—they said it was to send my dad a message, but I think there’s more to it than that .”

“You’re dad ?” Willow’s head tilts to the side . “ What ?”

I lift a shoulder. “My dad does dealings with a lot of sketchy men. Travis father is one of them, but there’s a ton more.” I shrug again. “I’m sorry I’ve never said anything about this, but honestly, I’m pretty ashamed .

“You don’t need to be ashamed.” Her brows pinch together. “When you say dealings, though, what exactly do you mean? Because I always thought your dad owned a bunch of businesses around town .”

“Those are his front businesses.” I can’t believe I’m uttering this aloud . “Honestly, I’m not positive what he does—he’s always made sure I was left in the dark for the most part. Even when I… When I passed along the message, he glazed over the subject.” I stare down at my hands. “He accused me of lying too. I’m not sure if he believed I was a liar, though, or if that was his way of stopping me from going to the police.” I shake my head. “Doesn’t really matter if he meant it or not, because I never told anyone else and I’ve been carrying around the secret for months, scared out of my mind half the damn time or so pissed off I can barely think straight .”

Air in. Air out .

I’m about to hyperventilate .

“Just breathe.” Willow gets up from the sofa and sits down beside me. “The hyperventilating, it’ll pass .”

“How do you know?” I whisper through my ragged breathing, tears cascading down my cheeks .

“Because I’ve suffered from anxiety for a long time—years actually .”

“ What for ?”

“A lot of things.” She shrugs. “I’m just a natural worrier .”

“I can understand that.” I’ve known Willow since grade school and even back then, she would stress out about the smallest things .

“I was getting better there for a while but…” She takes a tremulous breath. “A few months ago, Beck and I were at this frat party when he got called on a work errand and had to leave immediately. Since he didn’t have time to take me home and I had been drinking, I was just going to call a cab. But he didn’t want me wandering around alone at night so he asked a friend of his to drive me home… Noah Partertone… Do you know him ?”

I nod. “He’s friends with Travis.” And his family is even more rich and respected in this town that Travis’s is, known for their generous donations to almost every charity .

Fuck .

She gives a shaky nod. “Well, Beck asked him to give me a ride home. Before Noah and I took off, I did a shot. A bunch of people did one too. The waitresses were passing out the shots, so I didn’t think much of it.” A few tears fall from her eyes. “By the time we got to the car, I knew something was wrong…. I was so dizzy and out of it—I could barely grasp onto reality. And Noah kept laughing and making jokes about how much of a lightweight I was.” Tears flood her my eyes. “Then the next thing I know, I’m waking up on the living room floor with no recollection of how I got there. But my skirt was torn, and my entire body didn’t feel right. I knew something was wrong, and my anxiety kicked in. Before I could even think about what I was doing, I freaked out and jumped into the shower.” Her shoulders heave with her gasping breaths. “I just felt like I needed to scrub whatever the fuck happened to me off .”

Unable to stand seeing her in pain, I wrap my arms around her and hold onto her with everything I have in me, refusing to let us both break. “Where was Beck? I mean, after you woke up on the floor ?”

She hugs me back, clutching onto my shirt, just like I did to Everette’s .

I just broke .

I wonder how many people can say that? Probably a lot .

“He wasn’t home from work yet,” she whispers through her tears. “He came home that night and I wanted to tell him—I really did—but I couldn’t get the words to leave my lips. The really shitty part is I’m not even sure what happened—if I was raped or assaulted or if I just tore my damn skirt on the way in. But I know I was drugged right before I left that party. And I know my body felt invaded when I woke up, enough that I went and got a… STD test. Thankfully, I’m clean, but I still can’t shake the feeling that something’s broken inside me .”

“I feel that way too,” I admit. “All the damn time .”

“I’m sorry you went through that .”

“I’m sorry you went through that too .”

We clutch onto each other and tears sting in my eyes. Suddenly, I’m breaking again, crying hysterically. Willow starts sobbing as well, sobs wrenching from her chest. I hold onto her tighter and she does the same thing to me. It makes all the sobbing and pain a bit easier to endure. To know that I’m not alone. To have someone who understands and doesn’t try to make me feel ashamed for what happened .

“Have you ever thought about going to the police?” I ask once I get my tears under control .

“A couple of times, but what would I even say? I have no proof and it’d be his word against mine .”

His word against mine .

His word .

Against mine .

His .

Mine .

I fucking hate those words. Wish that statement didn’t exist. Wish this sort of shit didn’t exist .

“I have an idea,” I utter, pulling back from her. “A way we might be able to get some form of justice .”

“Really?” Hope sparkles in her eyes. “What is it ?”

“That list that I was talking about…” I start to pull my phone out when something dawns on me. “Wait. How did you find out about the list ?”

Sniffling, she wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. “Beck wanted to go to the club about a week after it happened. Honestly, I didn’t want to go, but I let him talk me into it. When we got there, the bouncer wouldn’t let me in because my name was on this list. I wasn’t sure why it was on there—still don’t—but Noah walked into the club while Beck was arguing with the bouncer about it and winked at me.” She squeezes her eyes shut. “Maybe I’m looking into it too much, but I swear he’s the reason I couldn’t get in .”

“I think you might be right.” I open the list on my phone. “I went to the club the other night too and something similar happened to me. And I managed to get a photo of the list .”

Willows brows rise as her eyes pop open. “How the hell did you manage that ?”

I grin, the movement feeling all sorts of wrong, but I refuse to allow it to falter. “By being a badass .”

The corners of her lips quirk into the smallest of smiles. “Yeah, you are.” Her smile swiftly fades. “Who else’s names are on the list ?”

I turn my phone toward her so she can see for herself. “They’re all female names. The only one I know was yours. But I want that to change .”

“You want to talk to these women ?”

“I do and I want to find out if they have similar stories to yours and mine. And I want to find out if the incidents all happened at the frat’s parties .”

“You think the frat’s behind this ?”

“Noah and Travis are part of the same frat, and you and I were both at a party when we were drugged. Maybe that’s just a coincidence, but maybe not .”

She wraps her arms around herself. “But what would we even do with that information ?”

“I’m not sure yet.” Revenge. Revenge. Revenge . “But I think if all of these women on the list were attacked, maybe we could get together and do something. But we need to track them down .”

Willow takes the phone from me and skims over the list. “Ari could probably help us find them, at least if they’re living in Fairs Hollow. If they’re not, they might be harder to track down .”

“I know, but I have to try .”

She chews on her bottom lip. “I want to be part of this too .”

“Really?” I’m a bit shocked, since usually Willow has to deliberate for days before making a decision .

She nods, returning my phone to me. “I have to do something because just living day by day, letting this secret eat away at me, isn’t working .”

I tuck my phone back into my pocket. “Have you thought about telling Beck ?”

She nods, tears filling her eyes again, but she hastily sucks them back. “A couple of times, but I don’t know if I can do it yet—if I can deal with him looking at me differently .”

“He’s not going to look at you differently,” I assure her. “Give Beck some credit. He loves you. Is he going to be angry? Yeah, at Noah. But not at you .”

“Yeah, maybe.” She lets out the saddest sigh ever. “Maybe I could — ”

Someone bangs loudly on the door .

Her brows crinkle. “Who the hell could that be ?”

Uneasiness stirs in my stomach. “You’re not expecting anyone ?”

“No.” She rises to her feet and hurries toward the front door .

I follow her, digging my phone out of my pocket. “Look out the window first and see who it is .”

She casts a worried glance over her shoulder at me . “Why ?”

“Just to be safe.” I’m worried, though .

Worried someone found out I uttered the truth aloud .

But how would they know ?

“It’s the police! Open up!” Someone shouts as they knock on the front door again .

Willow’s eyes widen. “The police? What the hell?” She rushes to the door and pulls it open .

Standing on her front porch are three uniformed officers .

The tallest one settles his gaze on Willow. “Wynter Porterrsen ?”

What the hell ?

Willow remains quiet, probably in an attempt to protect me. I’m not going to let her do that. Let her deal with… Well, whatever this is .

I step forward. “Actually, that’s me .”

His gaze shifts to me. “Wynter Porterrsen, you’re under arrest on drug charges. Please turn around so I can handcuff you .”

“Wow, you’re awfully polite for someone who’s arresting me,” I spit out as I turn around .

“As long as your cooperative, I’ll continue being polite,” he says as he slaps a pair of handcuffs on me. “Now, stand still why I pat you down .”

Air rushes from my lungs as his hands begin to wander along my pockets .

Get your hands off of me !

Get your fucking hands off !

Tears veil my vision as nausea twists in my stomach .

Breathe, Willow mouths. We’ll get you out of this .

I wish I could believe her, but I already think I know what’s coming .

Seconds later, just like I expected, it happens. The damn officer finds a joint tucked in the inside pocket of my jacket. Willow’s eyes widen at the sight. Sure, my friends occasionally toke it up, but I used to never be much of a lover of Mary Jane .

After the officer hands the joint to his partner, he steers me toward a police vehicle and guides me into the backseat. Then he shuts the door, locks me in, and drives away .

Drives me toward the police station .

Drives me toward jail ?

Shit, how the hell am I going to get out of this? Ask my father? He probably could help me. But do I want his help ?

No, I don’t. At all .

In fact, I’d rather rot in a prison cell than ever see his face again .