Kathy told Tessa she'd be staying until the baby was born, and Tehar set her up with an incredible doctor. March tumbled into April seemingly overnight.

Kathy was restless, not used to spending so much time not working on anything. She set herself to learning Arabic for something to do. Shadaf and Khalila were eager teachers, though even they could not quite keep up with her need to not just study, but throw herself into things bodily and not stop until she'd mastered it.

With Tehar, things were a stranger and more delicate situation. Neither of them really knew what they wanted their relationship to be yet, but they both knew they didn't want to stay away from each other.

It led to a peculiar semi-avoidance where they took any chance, when others were present, to sit near each other, to exchange thoughtful, warm glances. But as soon as they were alone, they scrambled to separate, to maintain that crucial distance. They danced around one another, trying to have their cake and eat it too, and instead having neither.

Neither wanted to commit to a romantic relationship, or more specifically to the idea of family that seemed to be implicit in it, but neither could they give up and disengage entirely.

The tipping point finally came in late April. Khalila and Shadaf invited them both into the city to a historical theater where an internationally renowned ballet troupe was performing. Kathy didn’t know much about ballet, but she hadn’t been out of the palace since she’d arrived and she wanted to see more of Abu Sadah.

Khalila loaned her a beautiful abaya made of light, draping fabric with panels of embroidered flowers and beading. It was surprisingly lovely, which Kathy hadn’t really thought such a modest garment could be. Khalila’s was edged in gold lace which came together over her chest in a breastplate like delicate armor. In comparison, it was the men for once who seemed plain.

They piled into the town car together and Kathy tried not think about how close she was pressed against Tehar in the back seat.

“I got us reservations at the most fantastic restaurant in town,” Shadaf said while the driver loaded his wheelchair into the trunk. “Some of the most beautiful French fine dining I’ve ever experienced.”

“You still haven’t let me take you to that place in Miami,” Tehar replied. “Kathy and I went for our first…the first time we talked.”

Kathy heard the brief hesitation in his voice. He’d almost called it a date. Had it been a date? Was tonight a date as well? Once again, the ambiguity of what they were to each other left Kathy in frustrated confusion.

The restaurant Shadaf had chosen really was amazing. They ate themselves silly on fine French haute cuisine and talked casually about whatever came to mind, surrounded by the restaurant’s shimmering air of luxurious fantasy.

Kathy tried not to think of anything but enjoying herself, but she couldn’t be in Tehar’s presence without thinking about their situation. As they drove from the restaurant to the theater, she struggled to keep up with the conversation, her thoughts far away. She knew Tehar noticed.

The play was La Sylphide. Though it was beautiful, Kathy didn’t think she would have been able to follow the story at all without the description in the program. A beautiful sylph falls in love with a young man who, though he is engaged to a human girl, chases after the sylph anyway. But it was obvious from the start they could never be together, she thought, as she watched the man chase the sylph as his fiancée chased him and his best friend chased her. They were from completely different worlds. It would have to end in tragedy.

Sure enough, as act two rolled around, Kathy felt her heart sink lower as a cruel witch tricked the young man into binding the sylph with a scarf. Though the witch promised it would let the sylph stay with him, all it did was burn off her wings and kill her. Then the young man died too, of a broken heart, both of them punished for wanting something they could never have. Kathy excused herself to the bathroom, unsettled.

Tehar was waiting when she emerged.

“Are you all right?” he asked. “You’ve been quiet all evening.”

Kathy glanced down the hall, looking for Shadaf and Khalila.

“They’ve gone to the car to wait for us,” Tehar explained. “Shadaf was feeling tired.”

“You’re breaking the rules,” Kathy said, looking at him seriously.

“Maybe I’m not interested in following them,” he said in a low voice that sent shivers across Kathy’s skin as he stepped closer, his hands sliding around her waist.

It would be so easy to let him push her back into the deserted ladies room, to melt into the heat of his kisses and forget her worries. But she shook her head. Despite how much she undeniably wanted to fall into his arms right then, she didn’t want to deal with the guilt or frustration that would come later. He stepped back when she pushed him away, though she could see how much he wanted to do anything but.

“We can’t keep doing this,” she said. “I’m not just going to be someone you want around when it’s convenient and ignore when it’s not.”

“But you don’t want me to be anything more than that either,” Tehar finished for her, the frustrated bitterness in his voice clear.

“No,” Kathy said, putting a hand to her head. “I don’t know. I want you, I just… I want myself too. I want the life I wanted for myself before you. I don’t know what I want. The things I want don’t work with each other anymore.”

“You know I feel the same way,” Tehar replied, his expression grim.

“So, what do we do?” Kathy asked, throwing her hands up. “Do we just keep circling each other like this forever? No offense, but that sounds incredibly unsatisfying.”

“We both want the same thing,” Tehar said. “Not to be trapped or tied to each other. Not to be forced to give up our lives to be with each other.”

He stepped closer to her again and touched her cheek, his fingers sliding into her hair.

“But we still want this,” he said, dipping lower, nearly kissing her. “So, can this be enough? No promises, no expectations, but we don’t ignore what we want either. I’m not asking for us to just sleep together and then ignore each other. I want a relationship with you. Just—”

“Just a relationship with no clear future,” Kathy finished for him.

“It’s better than no relationship at all, isn’t it?” he pleaded.

Kathy thought of the sylph, so desperate to be with the man she loved that she let him tie her down and burn off her wings. And the man, so desperate to be with her that he’d leave behind a happy, normal life with a wife and children and friends and run into the woods with no idea what the future held. They had both destroyed themselves to be together, and in the end it still hadn’t worked. This might destroy them, but she couldn’t resist trying.

“All right,” she said, and kissed him. They slipped back into the bathroom together, not thinking about the future, or about how they would explain the delay to Shadaf and Khalila when they emerged nearly a half an hour later.

It was hard to say whether the acceptance of their strange relationship made things more or less complicated. The dodging and avoiding each other had been replaced by sneaking away together, brief moments of clandestine pleasure in the heat of the palace’s many gardens, courtyards, and salons.

Fear of the future had given way to the hedonistic delights of the present. But the future, cold and uncertain, lingered always on the edges of things—every morning she woke up nauseous, every time she had to give up on another pair of pants because of the swelling of her stomach, every time she caught a glimpse of it in the mirror and she remembered that by winter, this would be over and she didn’t know what came next.

Kathy could only assume she would return to Miami, or Colorado, or wherever she could find work after this disaster with Mitchell. And Tehar would stay here with his family and his work and his roots. And she might never see him again. Or only on stiff formal occasions for the baby’s sake, which might be worse.

But that was for the future. She pushed those thoughts away whenever they crept up on her like strangling ivy in a rose garden, and focused on the present. On him.

* * *

April became June, which was so hot that, combined with the severe morning sickness Kathy was experiencing, she could hardly drag herself out of bed. Tehar came to visit her in bed instead, fussing and worrying no matter how many times the doctor told him this was normal and Kathy just needed to watch out for dehydration.

Once the doctor was gone, he would peel off her abaya and open the balcony doors to try to coax in a breeze while they sprawled on out Kathy's bed eating oranges.

In July, they all went together to the beach. Shadaf was having a good day and walked into the surf on his own feet rather than bring the wheelchair out into the sand. Kathy watched him playing with Khalila, both of them laughing and more in love than she ever thought she'd seen two people be.

She lay on the sand where the shallow waves were rolling just high enough to wash over her swollen belly. She was starting to have a real bump now. In another month, anyone would be able to tell at a glance. She ran a hand over it in slow, meditative patterns as she enjoyed the sun and the rhythm of the water.

She heard a splash, and looked up to see Tehar sitting down beside her. He placed a delicate, iridescent seashell on top of her stomach and she laughed.

"Are you happy here?" he asked suddenly.

"Of course," she answered without thinking. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"No, I mean, are you happy being here, in Abu Sadah, with me?" he clarified. "I heard you talking with Khalila earlier about the full-body swimsuits. It must be stifling for you here, having to wear clothes you don't like, not able to go anywhere without a man."

"It's pretty frustrating," Kathy admitted. "I'm not going to lie. But it's an inconvenience, that's all. I don't mind dealing with some annoying clothes and rules in order to be here with you."

"But would it still just be an inconvenience if you lived here?" he asked. "You would not be able to work, or travel alone, or own anything of your own. The laws in Abu Sadah are not as strict as in Saudi. There, you would not even be able to be on the beach like this with me. But you would still have almost none of the freedoms you have in America. Would you still stay here, knowing that?"

Kathy considered it for a moment.

"No," she said. "I don't think I could. I want to stay here until the baby is born, but I don't think I could live here. Especially if it meant giving up my work."

"I didn't think so," Tehar said, frowning.

"Why do you ask?" She sat up, water running off her baby bump. "Were you planning on asking me to stay here forever?"

"Maybe," Tehar murmured. Kathy felt herself flush and looked away.

"Have you figured out what you want, then?" she asked.

"Not remotely," he replied, scrubbing a hand over his face as though the thought exhausted him.

"I have figured out one thing," she said, looking down at her stomach and smiling. She reached for his hand, twining their fingers together in the sand. "Whatever else we decide, I don't want this to just be business between me and you. When the baby is born, I want to still be a part of your life."

Tehar was quiet for a moment, considering, then squeezed her hand.

"I don't want this to just be business, either," he agreed. "I want to find a way to make this work."

"Me too." She leaned closer, thinking she might kiss him, though she would probably regret it. But just as she moved, she felt something strange.

"Oh!" she gasped, grabbing her swollen stomach.

"What?" Tehar was on his knees in an instant, ready to pick her up and rush her to a hospital. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine!" Kathy assured him quickly, laughing. "I just…I think I just felt the baby move!"

"Oh," Tehar collapsed back onto the sand with a sigh of relief.

"This is the first time I've felt it!" Kathy said, still laughing, unexpectedly overjoyed by the strange sensation of something shifting inside her, this undeniable proof that her baby was alive and growing. She paused, realizing this was the first time she'd really thought of it as 'her' baby. It felt somehow more real, all of a sudden.

"Kathy," Tehar said gently. "Are you sure you're all right? You're crying."

She touched her cheek in surprise, then laughed again, sobbing through it in a confused muddle of emotions.

"Yeah," she said, choked by a sob. "I'm okay. I'm just really happy."

"You're so strange." Tehar chuckled.

"Sorry," Kathy blubbered, trying to wipe the tears away.

"Don't be," Tehar said warmly, and leaned in to kiss her red, tear-damp cheek. "I think you’re wonderful."