I’m feeling a little delicate as we make our way down to the dining room the next morning. The lights are too bright, the background hum of the castle too loud, and I fear the sight of the breakfast buffet will cause the contents of last night’s drinks trolley, seemingly still swishing around my stomach, to make an unwelcome reappearance.
‘Whose idea was it to sneak all that drink up to our room last night?’ I sit carefully in the nearest available chair in the dining room, leaning my elbow on the table and resting my poor, throbbing head in my hand.
‘Pilfering the booze was my idea.’ Alice joins me at the table just as carefully, but instead of slumping, she reaches for the jug of water and pours two glasses. ‘But I didn’t chuck it down your neck. That was all you.’
I try to drink the water Alice passes to me, but it’s barely touched my lips and it’s making me gag.
‘I think I’m going to die.’
Alice pushes the glass of water towards me again. ‘You are not going to die. We had way worse sessions than that when we were at uni.’
This is true, but we were younger back then, and we’d built up a tolerance. I can’t remember the last time I got properly trashed. It isn’t a good idea to mix hangovers with a class of thirty kids who are programmed to detect even the slightest weakness in a teacher, so I manage my alcohol intake with precision normally.
‘You need to eat. Soak up some of the alcohol.’ Using the table for leverage, Alice pushes herself onto her feet and heads towards the buffet trolley. I don’t follow. I’m breathing slowly through my mouth so I don’t smell any of the food because I swear I’m going to hurl if I pick up the slightest whiff. I should go back up to bed and sleep this off. You never know, I might be recovered enough to attend Carolyn’s wedding in two days’ time.
I try another sip of water, surprised when it stays down. It feels good in my parched mouth and throat, so I try another.
‘We should walk down into the village after breakfast.’ Alice sits down again, and I turn away from her so I don’t have to look at her plate piled high with fluffy pancakes swimming in gooey syrup. ‘The fresh air will do us good.’
I doubt that very much. The only thing that will do me any good is a time machine set to yesterday evening, just before Alice started to concoct that first disgusting cocktail.
‘Oh, wait.’ Alice shakes her head. ‘You can’t go off into the village for a wander.’
Too right. The only place I’m wandering to is my bed.
‘You’re helping Tom, remember?’
‘I am?’ I’m frowning at Alice, but it’s all starting to come back. It’s the bonfire tonight. Tom is going to be collecting firewood and setting it up. And I’ve only gone and volunteered to help him, haven’t I? I can only blame that shoddy wine from the restaurant.
‘Yes, I am. It should be fun. Right?’ I flash Alice a hopeful look, but she mustn’t be feeling very charitable this morning.
‘About as much fun as a smear test using a red-hot speculum.’ Alice winces and we both cross our legs under the table. ‘Rather you than me.’
‘Thanks.’ I push myself up out of my seat with a sigh. ‘I may as well go and get it over and done with.’
Alice happily slices off a chunk of pancake and swipes it through a dollop of syrup. ‘I’ll see you at lunchtime. If you’ve finished by then.’ She grins at me before popping the pancake in her mouth.
I kind of hope she chokes on it, just a little bit.
For once, I don’t get lost. I seem to have found my feet at the castle, and I soon find Tom out in the large field at the back. He’s kneeling on the ground, messing around with a mound of dirt. Quite why Tom is planting in the middle of the field, I have no idea, but he’s obviously changed his mind and we aren’t going to be collecting firewood after all. In an act of extraordinary fickleness, my stomach clenches with disappointment. Either that, or I’m in danger of hurling again.
‘What are you doing?’ I add a good dose of cheer to my voice, so Tom doesn’t pick up on the fact that I’m fussed by the change of plans. He turns towards me, a gloved hand up to his forehead to shield his eyes from the already baking sun.
‘I’m making a base.’ He turns back to his task. ‘I won’t be a minute, then we can go and collect the firewood.’
‘So we’re still doing that?’
‘Yep.’ Tom stands up and brushes his hands down his overalls. ‘At least I thought we were. I brought an extra wheelbarrow out for you.’ He nods at the pair of wheelbarrows standing nearby. ‘But if you don’t want to, that’s fine. Got plans with Archie?’
‘God, no.’ I press my lips together, before I say anything else incriminating, and shake my head. ‘No, no plans this morning.’
‘You’re still seeing him then?’ Tom picks up the handles of one of the wheelbarrows and starts to push it towards the woods.
‘I wouldn’t exactly say we’re seeing each other.’ I grab the other wheelbarrow and scurry after Tom. As always, he’s striding. ‘We only met a couple of days ago, remember?’
‘You looked pretty cosy when you arrived at the quiz last night. Alice said you’d gone out for dinner in the village.’ Alice and her big bloody gob! ‘You’ll keep in mind what I said, won’t you? About being careful?’
I cringe. I don’t want to lie to Tom and look as though I’ve disregarded everything he’s said about Archie, but I can’t tell him the truth, can I? That I’m using Archie as a shield against Alice’s matchmaking. It hardly paints me in a good light, and I quite like the friendship I’ve struck up with Tom. The friendship has come as a bit of a surprise to me; I’m usually a pretty good judge of character – which comes in handy when Alice keeps throwing men my way – but I’ll admit I judged Tom too harshly in the beginning. He isn’t the moody git I thought he was just a few days ago.
‘Sorry.’ Tom shakes his head. ‘Ignore me. Tell me to mind my own business. You can choose to date whoever you want. It has absolutely nothing to do with me.’
‘It isn’t that.’ I’m already getting out of puff as I push myself to keep up with Tom. ‘I’ve absolutely taken onboard what you said about Archie, but Alice has this idea he’s my Prince Charming.’
Tom splutters. ‘Your what?’
I feel my cheeks heat up, and it isn’t due to the exertion of keeping up with Tom’s stride while pushing the wheelbarrow. ‘My Prince Charming. I know it sounds daft – and it’s a bit of a long story – but I used to have this fairy tales book when I was little, back when I was young and naïve and believed in happily ever afters.’
Tom turns to frown at me. I’ve already started to lag behind. ‘You don’t believe in happily ever afters now?’
I shake my head. ‘Not really.’ Not at all, actually. There’s always something lurking around the corner to stuff it up.
‘Sounds like you’ve experienced a pretty bad break-up.’ Tom has slowed down his pace and is walking beside me again.
I shake my head. ‘Nope. At least not for me. Edward – my last boyfriend – wasn’t all that happy about it, but life’s worked out pretty well for him since.’
‘Why did you break up?’ We’ve reached the edge of the woods now. Tom ducks below a low-hanging branch, but I pass under it easily.
‘It was all getting too serious, too soon.’
‘How long were you together?’
‘Two years.’ I scrunch up my nose, knowing Tom will never understand. Alice never did.
‘Wow, you really like to take things slowly.’
I manoeuvre my wheelbarrow around a large tree root. ‘I guess, but things were… complicated.’
‘How so?’
I don’t usually open up to people about my past, but I find myself confiding in Tom. Perhaps it’s the woods, creating a safe, private space. Who knows?
‘My mum died a year ago, and I guess I couldn’t deal with that and a relationship. Edward wanted more than I could give him.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Tom has stopped, the wheelbarrow resting on the ground. ‘About your mum.’
‘It’s okay. It wasn’t a massive shock. I’d been expecting it for a long time, to be honest.’
‘Still, it must have been tough.’ I’m expecting Tom to push, to ask for more, but he simply picks up the handles of his wheelbarrow and forges ahead. I don’t say anything more about Mum, and he doesn’t probe, unlike Edward who wanted to know every last detail of my life prior to our meeting. In the end it became too much and I’d felt suffocated by his questions.
Tom stops in a wide clearing and puts his wheelbarrow down. ‘Right, I thought I’d collect the fuel wood while you concentrate on the kindling, if that’s all right with you?’
‘It would be.’ I place my wheelbarrow down on its legs. ‘If I knew what the hell kindling was.’
‘Oh, yes.’ Tom nods. ‘I forgot you’re not exactly outdoorsy. Unless it comes to…’ He grins at me, his eyebrows lifting. I look back, uncomprehending. ‘Al fresco adventure?’
My cheeks burst into flames. The umbrella tree. Archie. Me, half-naked. Tom assuming we were…
‘No.’ I shake my head. ‘Whatever you’re imagining, it didn’t happen, okay?’
Tom shrugs, but he’s smirking. ‘Yeah, whatever.’
‘It didn’t!’ I need him to believe me, to stop smirking like that, but I’m not sure how to convince him other than confessing all about Archie, which I absolutely won’t do.
‘So, kindling.’ I decide the best tactic is to change the subject and get on with the job at hand. ‘What am I looking for?’ I turn on the spot, my eyes wandering all around, but nothing is jumping out and screaming ‘hey, I’m kindling!’ at me.
‘Aim for small twigs and branches, about the width of a pencil.’ Tom reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pair of thick gloves. ‘And wear these, just in case.’ He chucks the gloves at me and I manage to catch them, which is a miracle considering the lack of throwing and catching skills I displayed at the rounders game yesterday.
‘What, you think I’m going to stab myself on a twig?’
‘Maybe.’ Tom is already moving away from his wheelbarrow. ‘But also, bears aren’t the only animals who shit in the woods, you know.’
Lovely, I think as I pull the gloves on. Just lovely.
It turns out Tom wasn’t planting in the middle of the field earlier; he was building a sort of platform for the base of the bonfire. Under Tom’s instruction, we start to build up a teepee structure out of the kindling and more substantial fuel wood, as well as some dry leaves and bark for tinder. It’s exhausting work, especially under the sun, but we also have a bit of a laugh now Tom has stopped teasing me about the supposed incident under the umbrella tree.
‘You’ve done a good job,’ Tom says once we finish for lunch.
‘Really?’ I’m standing up taller now, with my shoulders back, feeling strong and purposeful.
‘Yeah, even if we did have that incident with the dormouse.’
I don’t feel quite so tall any more. ‘Hey, I didn’t squeal that loudly, and it took me by surprise, shooting out of the undergrowth like that.’
Tom laughs. ‘You really don’t like wildlife, do you? Bees, dormice…’
‘Arrogant sods in overalls.’ I stick my tongue out at Tom and he laughs again.
‘Seriously, you’ve worked hard this morning. And it’s been nice having some company. You’re all right.’
‘Such high praise?’ I fold my arms across my chest. ‘Please stop before my ego overinflates.’ You’re all right, indeed. ‘Anyway, I should get going. I said I’d meet Alice for lunch.’
‘I’ll probably see you tonight. At the bonfire.’
‘You’re going?’ Wow, first the quiz and now the bonfire. Tom’s turned into quite the little joiner over the past couple of days. Who’d have thought it?
Tom shrugs and scratches the back of his neck. ‘Carolyn asked me, and I’ve got nothing on, so I thought I may as well. Plus, I hear there are going to be toasted marshmallows, so who am I to say no to that?’
‘Great. I’ll see you tonight then.’ I peel off my gloves and hand them to Tom. ‘Unless… Nah, you probably won’t.’ I shake my head, backing away from the bonfire structure.
‘Probably won’t what?’
‘There are lawn games this afternoon, apparently. It might be fun.’ As long as I’m not paired up with Archie – which I will be if Alice has anything to do with it. If Tom is there, he can provide a useful buffer, like he did with the treasure hunt. Plus, I’d quite like to spend a bit more time with Tom. I’m enjoying his company and it isn’t complicated with him; we have a laugh and although it got a bit deeper than I’d planned earlier, Tom didn’t push me to reveal more about myself than I was willing to. I feel at ease with him in a way I never really did with Edward.
Not that I’m thinking of Tom in a romantic sense. He’s taken. Very much so.
I think I should probably let him get back to work now.
‘It probably isn’t your thing though.’ I shake my head. ‘Never mind. I’ll see you later. Tonight. The bonfire.’ I point to our structure before I turn and dart back to the castle.