Once I finished my ice cream and tossed the empty pint into the trash can, I made my way into the living room to lie down on the couch and wait for Jocelyn. I can hear the shower knobs turning so I know she’s done now, I just have to wait for her to dry up and get dressed.
Ever since she was a little girl, she’s always been very curious and I’m hoping that she knows better at this point. She knows that she’s only to go to our room, shower, then come straight to me. I’m hoping she’s not dumb enough to try and sneak a glance into the boys’ room because if she does, she’ll see Darby and that’ll pop open a can of worms that I don’t have the can opener for just yet.
I close my eyes and sigh as I clasp my hands over my chest. If she’s smart—and I know she is, she’ll probably try to take me out thinking I’m asleep, but I’m ready for that. These kids have always kept me on my toes when they were all around, and anything they’ve tried, I’ve already done before.
It’s the proverbial eyes in the back of the head thing that parents always talk about. Kids think it’s all bullshit until they’re caught being dumb little fucks, then they are amazed as hell that we knew all along.
I don’t regret having any of them, I just wish they turned out better is all.
Now, I could take some blame for it but I won’t. I did what I could with them and that’s all there is to that story. Darby on the other hand … I’ll do much better with her.
“Hi.”
I open my eyes and cock my head to the side, a smile spreading across my face. Jocelyn is standing just inside the living room, her hands firmly clasped in front of her, and her hair damply sitting on her shoulders.
“Didn’t have time to dry up completely?” I ask with a laugh.
“I … I just didn’t want to draw attention to myself,” she says, her eyes darting nervously around the room. “I can go back and fix it if you want me to.”
“Nah,” I reply, swinging my legs off the side of the couch. “Come on in and have a seat, kid. Let’s catch up.”
She clears her throat and walks toward the chair that sits directly across from the couch. In a way, it reminds me of the last time that Laura came to visit because she sat in that same damn chair.
Fucking bitches and that chair, I think as I shake my head. Maybe that’ll be the next thing I make a bonfire for—it’s just up to Joce if she’s in the damn thing when I decide to take it out back.
“So, how ya been?” I ask, leaning back and crossing my hands behind my head. I’m not exactly sure what I’m expecting her to say, but I wait for her answer anyway. I stopped going to check on her as often as I used to when I first tossed her down there. I didn’t want Darby getting too curious about the oubliette, even though she clearly already has.
Jocelyn doesn’t say anything. Instead, she folds her hands on her lap and glances up at me every now and then, cutting her eyes toward the door.
I sigh loudly. “When did you become such a pussy? Seriously, kid. You used to be so full of spunk and ready to fight at a moment’s notice, and now you’re this docile little piece of shit and it’s starting to bug me.”
This time, when she glances up at me and meets my eyes, she holds them in hers. I can tell that I’m starting to make her angry and that’s what I want because that’s when she fucks the best.
“Good,” I say evenly, with a nod. “Get pissed off. You’ve got a child in this house that you don’t even know yet, and by the looks of it, you only seem to give a shit about yourself right now. That’s not a good look for you, Mommy.”
“Must have been the example I had growing up,” she replies curtly, inspecting her fingernails.
“Damn,” I reply with a chuckle. “That had some bite to it, little girl.”
Jocelyn shrugs indifferently and puts a hand to her stomach. I can tell she’s hungry, but I don’t know if she’s worth sparing any food on.
Not yet, anyway.
Anyone, with the exception of Darby that wants to eat under my roof, has to work for it.
“Hungry? Wanna sing for your supper?” I ask her deviously as I lean forward and rest my arms on my knees.
She looks away for a moment, contemplating her answer, but if she waits for too long, I’ll just take what I want anyway, and she knows it.
“Yes,” she finally says softly.
“Good girl,” I say with a nod, getting to my feet and holding a hand out toward her. I don’t mind her putting up a fight every now and again, but right now, it’ll be much easier if she remembers to do as she’s told.