FOUR

JACK

I arrived at work just after half eight. I liked to get there early, it gave me a chance to get settled before everyone else arrived. The car park was pretty much empty and I was able to get my usual spot, overshadowed by the tall trees that covered one corner of the perimeter. That meant the car wouldn’t be baking hot when I came back out at the end of the day, something well worth doing as the weather wasn’t showing any sign of breaking.

I was making coffee when the rest of them began to arrive. A small loan company isn’t the most exciting place to work but it suited my purposes perfectly. I blended in. That was what mattered. For five years, I’d blended in, forgetting my old life. Until it came back to me in a single phone call that had set everything in motion. I nodded to colleagues as they passed by. I got myself settled in at my desk and then made the first call of the day.

“Hello, you’ve been specially selected as eligible for our exclusive introductory interest rate. Have you considered a personal loan recently for any purpose?”

“Fuck off mate,” the gruff voice on the other end said, the line disconnecting a moment later. That happened a lot. If they knew the truth about me, they might not have been so abrasive. But that was the nature of blending in, no one knew who you really were, what you could do.

That was why I took it when Simon mocked me in the canteen during lunch. “Have a look at those,” he was saying when I walked in, brandishing his girly magazine for everyone to see. “Don’t get many of those in a biscuit tin, do you?”

His sniggering face turned and caught my eye. I tried to look away but it was too late. He’d spotted me. “What do you reckon, Jack?” he asked, flashing the page in my direction.

“Put it away,” I said. “No one’s interested.”

“Just because you’re that way inclined doesn’t mean we all are,” he replied, nudging Gary next to him. “Right, Gaz?”

Gary grunted noncommittally.

“Ever seen a pair that big in real life, Jack? Actually, I’ll make it easier. Ever seen a pair in real life?”

I managed a weak smile before passing by and heading for the back of the queue. “Hi Jack,” Sarah said as she joined the queue behind me. “How’d the move go?”

“Not too bad,” I replied. “How’s your morning?”

“Made two sales.”

“Hey, that’s great,  puts you top of the leader board, doesn’t it?”

“For now. Sorry I had to knock you off the top spot.”

“Don’t worry about it. As long as I still get paid, that’s all that matters.”

She smiled. “Listen, Jack, I was supposed to be going to this jazz thing next week but Amelia’s cancelled on me. I wondered if maybe, you fancied coming along?”

“I’d love to,” I replied. “But I’m a bit busy at the moment.”

Her face fell. “Are you ever going to say yes?”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I’ve been asking you out for three months now. If you’re not interested, you should just say so.”

I tried to let her down gently. She wasn’t a bad person. She’d probably make a decent partner to someone one day. But not to me. I couldn’t picture her tied down, my hand whipping down on her ass. My thoughts went back to the cellar, to who was waiting for me when I got home. “It’s not like that, Sarah.” I lowered my voice, leaning conspiratorially towards her. “I’ve been applying for other jobs, down south. I can’t get into a relationship right now.”

“I’m not looking for a relationship, Jack. I was just asking you to a jazz night.”

“Look-”

“Forget it,” she snapped, cutting me off. “Forget I asked.”

The queue seemed to take a long time to move, an ominous silence coming from behind me. It wasn’t my fault she had a crush on me. Well, maybe a bit of it was my fault. It was a fine balancing act between blending in and getting involved. There was no point getting involved. I had sown the seed that I might be moving soon, that was all I needed to do. If I abruptly vanished, no one would be too suspicious. They’d just think I’d moved away to a new job.

I was hoping it wouldn’t come to that, that I’d have to flit in the night without giving notice, without saying goodbye. But at least if I did, I’d sown the seed. That was what you had to do if you were like me, always prepping the ground, always working people, making them complicit in the lies, weaving them into the web of subterfuge. It was my way of staying safe, of staying free. I worked hard at what I did. Even after so long out of the loop, it was second nature.

That was why I let Sarah think I might be interested, that was why I let Simon talk to me in that ridiculous way. He’d called me a virgin once, said it in front of the entire office. They’d all laughed and I laughed too. If he only knew some of the things I’d done. It was why I was so relaxed when I got home and saw someone on Bella’s doorstep.

I had parked up on the street, the garage was still full of my unsorted boxes so I couldn’t use it yet. I was getting out of the car when I saw her knocking on Bella’s door. She was young, about the same age as Bella. Not as pretty though. The spark just wasn’t there.

“Excuse me,” she called out as I headed up the path to my door. “Hold on a second.”

“Can I help?” I asked, the friendliest smile I could manage fixed on my face.

“Have you seen Bella at all?” she asked, walking across to me.

“Bella? Sorry, I don’t know any Bella.”

She stopped when she reached me. “You’ve just moved in right? She’s next door. Number twenty-seven.”

“Oh, right, I see. Is she not in?”

“She’s supposed to be. We’re meant to be going out tonight.”

“Sorry, I’ve not seen anyone. Maybe she popped out.”

“Hmm, maybe.” No suspicion in her eyes but then why would there be? I blended. I fitted in. I was just the neighbour. “Listen, if you see her, would you mind telling her I’ll meet her at Parrot’s Bar?”

“Parrot’s. Sure. I’ll tell her.”

“Thanks.”

She turned away and walked away. I made sure not to linger, in case she turned back. It wouldn’t do to be seen watching her go. Instead I headed inside. I walked into the kitchen. I didn’t want to take long. She’d be waiting. I made her a sandwich, her favourite. I still remembered what her favourite was.

I walked through the house, thinking how different it was now I had her company. It looked the same as ever, there was no sign of another person anywhere. But I knew she was there, and that was what mattered. She was there with me, where she belonged. The loneliness I’d felt for so long was gone, vanished as if it had never been. I had a purpose again, to keep her safe, to keep her fed. I might even keep her clothed, if she was good.

I unlocked the cellar door and flicked on the light. She started screaming at once. Honey, I’m home, I thought as I headed down the steps, trying to ignore the throbbing in my cock as I stared at her squirming figure on the bed, fighting to free herself from her bonds. She looked sexy as hell and the best thing was, she was all mine.