I slam the magazine shut and stuff it under the cushion beside me as a blush creeps up my cheeks at almost being caught. The wood creaks, and I hear heavy breathing seconds before a head full of messy brown hair appears from the hole in the floor. A smile appears on my face when big green eyes pop up and stare at me.

“It’s about time you got here,” I tell Aislin, my best friend, and get up to help her the rest of the way into our hidden treehouse. “I’ve been waiting forever for you to get here.”

She huffs and puffs as she gets to her knees then grabs my hand to help her to her feet. She pushes down her dirty yellow shirt that’s ridden up, showing off several inches of her stomach. I divert my eyes, giving her privacy.

“My stupid mom has another guy over,” she grumbles with a pout. “Fortunately, they moved to the bedroom, so I snuck out.”

I stuff my hands into my jeans pockets, balling them into fists just as I always do when she tells me her mom has a guy over. I hate knowing her mom has all kinds of men in her house, doing all kinds of things that grown-ups do. I’m only eleven, but I already know what sex is. Aislin is nine and also knows what it is. Unfortunately, Aislin knows because she’s seen it firsthand from the many times her mom’s had sex on the couch, in the kitchen, or in the laundry room—all the while knowing her daughter could walk in at any moment. Hell, Aislin’s even caught her mom having sex in her own bed. That night, Aislin didn’t sleep there, repulsed by the act she’d witnessed. She crawled into my window, upset and mad, and fell asleep in my bed with me rubbing her back and running my fingers through her hair, trying to calm her down.

Momma raised me never to hit a girl, but I want to punch the daylights out of Aislin’s mom. She’s sick and vile, always doped up on drugs, and doesn’t take care of Aislin worth a shit. I wish she could come live with me. I’ve even talked to my parents about it, but as much as they like Aislin and know of her situation and how close we are, I know they have enough trouble feeding and taking care of me and my brother and sister.

Aislin takes a seat on the cushion beside the one I was using. I watch to make sure she doesn’t discover the magazine underneath before going to the box with the snacks we stole from the market down the road. I pull out a couple of oatmeal crème pies and an orange soda then plop down beside her.

“Are you excited about school tomorrow?” I ask, handing over one of the snacks and the can of soda.

Her eyes dip down as she rips the plastic from the snack and stuffs half of it into her mouth.

“You know I’m not. We’re going to be at different schools now. What am I going to do without you with me, Niko?”

Her shoulders slump, and I put my arm around her, pulling her closer to my side. She’s only nine, but with how her life has been, she’s had to grow up fast. She likes to act tough, and she is. She’s tougher than any other girl I know, but she still has pieces of a little girl inside her. Pieces she only lets me see. Pieces I’ll always protect.

“You know I’ll always be there for you. You let me know if anyone messes with you, and I’ll take care of it.”

She lifts her nose and juts out her chin in true badass little Aislin mode. “I’m not worried about those buttheads. I just hate knowing I won’t see you at all during the day.”

She may not worry, but I do. I hate that I won’t be with her this year in school. The kids there can be assholes. For the most part, I’m able to keep them away from her when I’m with her, but I worry about what will happen when she’s there alone without me.

One thing I do know is if I find out they’ve hurt her, in any way, heads will roll. I may be young, and Momma may have raised me to avoid fights whenever possible, but I’ve picked up a few things from living in such a rough neighborhood. To live here, you have to, or you’ll never make it. One thing I won’t ever put up with is someone hurting Aislin.

“Promise me you’ll tell me if anyone messes with you.”

She pops open the soda and takes a swallow. When she sets it down beside her, I hand her the second crème pie. I always let her have mine because I know she doesn’t get much food at home.

She tears into the second one just as fast.

Swallowing her bite, she looks up at me. “I don’t want you getting into fights for me. You’ll get into trouble.”

I give her a smile. “Don’t worry about it. I won’t fight them. I’ll just tell them to leave you alone.” The lie slips out easily.

She looks at me doubtfully. She knows me so well.

“Niko…” she starts then shifts so she’s facing me, crossing her skinny legs. Poking me in the chest with a finger, she says, “Don’t you dare do anything.”

I grab her hand and flatten it on my chest then smirk. “You know me. You’re my North. No one messes with my North.”

I gave her the name years ago, several weeks after we met. I was eight, and she was six. She had just moved into the house beside ours with her mom. They were alone, just the two of them. About a week after they moved in, I was outside playing with my cars when her mom came outside, screeching to the neighborhood that her daughter was missing. Mom came outside next, demanding to know what was going on. My family was the only family who helped Aislin’s mom look for her, and it was one of the only times her mom actually pretended like she really cared what happened to her daughter. I didn’t know the little girl who was missing, but I insisted to Mom that I wanted to help. She let me, and an hour later, I found her in the woods behind my house, sitting on a rock, crying softly. Over the course of three weeks, she disappeared three more times, and I found her every time. I never told them exactly where I found her, just that it was in the woods. The last time I found her, I noticed the birthmark below her ear and told her it looked like a star. I remembered Mom telling me a story once about a boy getting lost until he found the North Star, which led him home. From that day forward, her nickname was North. I claimed that no matter how many times she ran away, I’d find her. And I’ve held true to that.

We both watch each other for several minutes. Me with a smile aimed at her, and her with the same scowl. She knows me well enough to know I’m not going to back down. She knows how I am with her because she’s the same with me. She’s a tiny little thing, but if you mess with her Niko when she’s around, she’s not afraid to get in your face. I’ve had to pull her back several times to keep her from getting pulverized.

She huffs and turns back around so her back is against the wall. With her turn, the cushion moves, revealing a corner of the magazine. Before I get the chance to snatch it, she grabs it. Her eyes go wide when she holds it in front of her face.

I don’t say anything or try to take the magazine back. She’s already seen it, so there’s no sense in trying to hide it now. She sets it down on her lap and slowly opens it. I cringe when it shows a woman on her knees in front of a man with his penis in her mouth. The girl’s boobs are hanging out of her bra, and she’s not wearing any panties.

Aislin still doesn’t say anything as she flips to the next page. I shift uncomfortably beside her. This page shows a woman on her back with her legs spread wide open. She’s touching herself.

I want to yank the magazine away. She shouldn’t be seeing stuff like this even though she’s seen it in real life with her mom and the men she has over. It makes me so angry that Aislin is so knowledgeable about these types of things.

“Do you like this kind of stuff?” Her quiet question has my eyes jerking to hers. There’s no censor or judgment behind her expression, only open curiosity.

I shrug. “Not really.”

“Then why were you looking at it? Where did you get it from?”

Her eyes go back to the magazine as she flips to another page.

“It’s my brother’s. I found it under his bed the other day and took it because I was… curious.”

She looks back at me. “Do you want to do this stuff? Like what the guy is doing to that woman?”

I look down, more to avoid her eyes than to look at what she’s referring to. Even still, my gaze catches on a woman on her hands and knees with a man kneeling behind her. His fingers are touching her private parts, and it looks like he’s getting ready to put his mouth on her.

The sight has me wanting to throw up, but it also does something else weird to my body. I feel a tingling in my jeans. The feeling is foreign to me, but I know it’s got something to do with my body reacting to the sight of a naked woman.

I stretch out my legs and cross my ankles, trying to push the feeling away. I feel weird talking about this with Aislin.

“Not really,” I tell her, not sure if it’s a lie or not. I’ve never lied to her before, and I don’t like knowing I might be lying now.

“But why were you looking at it?” she insists.

“I don’t know,” I mumble, wishing she would just drop it. “It was just something new to look at.”

“So you don’t want to do this?” she presses.

“Aislin, please, just give me the magazine so I can throw it away. It was stupid to bring it here.”

I hold out my hand, but she doesn’t give it to me right away. Instead, she looks down at it again for several seconds before handing it over. I immediately get up and stuff the magazine down into the bottom of the box we use for trash.

I still have my back turned toward her when her soft voice reaches my ears.

“You may not want to do that stuff right now, but one day you will.”

I turn to tell her she’s wrong, but stop when I see her looking down at her lap. She’s picking the skin around her nails. I can’t lie to her. It may be just a curiosity now, but I know one day soon I will be more interested in girls. I’m not stupid. I know it’s bound to happen. Aislin isn’t stupid either. She probably knows more than I do about sex and what people do when they have it.

I go back and sit beside her again, putting my arm back around her shoulders. She looks up at me with her beautiful green eyes. Even though we’re both so young and have no idea what it means to really love someone, I know what I feel for her is love. It may be the innocent, brotherly kind of love, but it’s love nonetheless. So when I see the sad look in her eyes, it makes my chest feel heavy.

“It doesn’t matter, North. No matter what happens later, you’ll always be my number one girl. You’re my North Star, my beacon.”

She smiles up at me, and all is right in the world again.